Chapter 35
'Three Simple Words – Part 2: Loss'
The tone change of the day had hit Judy like a hurtling brick to the face. One moment she was overjoyed to find out that Nick really did love her as she loved him, and the next she was distressed and panicking that Nick was now, ever so slowly leaving this world for good, with her also fretting she would never get the chance to say the same words back to him.
But panicking was the last thing she could afford to do now, no matter how agitated her head was…
Judy had to focus.
She knew what to do.
She thought way back to her time in the academy. It was a necessary requirement for all ZPD Officers to have Life Saving training, as it was always a possibility they would have to perform CPR to save the life of another mammal, no matter the species, gender or age. As such, this was the same reason why every Officer was encouraged to attend the subsequent refresher class once a year so it was always fresh in their heads.
For Judy, it was certainly fresh in her head now, even though she shared the same sentiment of every other Officer in the Police; that they would hope to go their whole careers and not have to use this knowledge in practice.
For some of course, that wasn't always the case…
And now Judy was among them… not only forced to use it to save a life, but of the life of her partner, her best friend, and the mammal she'd fallen in love with.
Having already removed his dented bulletproof vest earlier, the only thing left covering Nick's chest was the drenched undershirt of his SWAT gear, which was simply the same type of blue button shirt of his Police uniform that he always wore to work, only this time, without his tie on, and the sleeves rolled back to just above his elbows.
The ZPD SWAT Department didn't have any particular regulation about what clothing to wear underneath tactical gear, as long as it fit underneath the tactical gear. As such, most or all SWAT Officers just wore their usual uniform, as it was comfortable, flexible, easily washable, and usually, easily replaceable should it become ripped or torn during combat…
Which was a good thing too, considering Nick's shirt was practically in rags with tears and holes in several places, as well as scorch marks and drenched wet, not only with rainwater, but in parts also drenched and dyed red with his blood.
Although, if Judy didn't hurry, it wouldn't matter if Nick's uniform needed replacing… because there would be nobody left to wear it.
…
Acting fast, Judy gripped the collar of Nick's shirt and pulled downwards, carefully yet forcefully enough to rip open the buttoned front from top to bottom, exposing his bare white furred chest…
It hadn't been the first time Judy had seen Nick shirtless. He was particularly liberal in that sense when he would walk out of the Precinct locker room only half dressed, or whenever he answered the door to his apartment on the earliest of starts when Judy would meet him before going to the Precinct. Nick was a mammal who always described it as being 'comfortable in his own fur', despite that idiom meaning something completely different… plus, Judy knew he did it on purpose to tease her anyway.
In this situation though, Judy took no notice. She didn't want this morning to be the last of those days.
So she went to work:
Judy placed her paws together, one over the other firmly just below Nick's ribcage. After taking a second to compose herself and catch her nervous breath, she began to count the compressions, pressing down with each count;
"One, two, three, four, five, six…" the rest of the numbers turned into inaudible murmurs, but Judy persisted, counting in her head until the thirtieth compression.
Next was the bit she was most anxious about: the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation… but if it meant saving Nick's life, Judy would do it unquestionably. The only hesitation she had was she had hoped that the first time they would press their lips together it would be a gesture of love between them… not to literally breathe the life back into him.
Judy leaned over him, gently tilting Nick's head backwards to clearly open his airway. His mouth opened slightly wider as a result, but still small enough for Judy to effectively perform mouth-to-mouth.
She gently pinched his nose closed as she closed her eyes, leaned down, and placed her lips over his-
She hadn't imagined they could be so cold already.
It didn't fill her with much hope.
Nevertheless, Judy blew hard, filling Nick's lungs with the necessary oxygen to keep him alive long enough to get proper treatment.
It wasn't like in the movies. Judy knew that CPR alone wouldn't revive him. They needed a defibrillator for that. It instantly clicked in her head that that was where Bogo had gone... because Judy also knew that all ZPD vehicles were supplied with an AED for such emergencies.
Until then though, Judy continued resuscitating her partner, turning to her right to breathe in herself before turning back to the Fox to give him another kiss of life…
And then… rinse, repeat:
Thirty compressions.
Two breaths.
Thirty compressions.
Two breaths.
…
Despite what she knew as a fact, Judy wished this was just a hustle and Nick was faking… she really, really wished it was. But she knew it wasn't. And with each time she pressed down onto Nick's chest she was begging that he would suddenly cough back to life, breathe in, open his eyes and smile at her…
That typical sly smile of his that she had so grown to love.
She wanted to see it again.
She wanted to see those gleaming emerald eyes again.
She even wanted to hear any one of his jokes again… good or bad.
But even though Nick's body jerked ever so slightly from the force of each one of Judy's vigorous compressions, he still remained unmoved and failed to begin breathing again.
It forced Judy to remember way back when she and Nick started their SWAT training together, cursing herself that if they hadn't did it they wouldn't be here, and Nick wouldn't be dying in front of her.
Joining SWAT hadn't been the direction Judy had really saw her career taking. She had imagined moving up to Detective, then maybe Sergeant, and further up in command, but not necessarily all the way to the level of Chief of Police. The choice to take up the challenge of joining the SWAT Team was a mutual decision between both her and Nick after a rather grave event when their police cruiser suddenly came under fire when responding to a botched bank robbery. They both got lucky that day, and both of them knew it. The police academy could teach you how to aim and shoot, but not when the mammals you were shooting at had bigger guns, much more ammunition, and nothing to lose. It was after that day that Judy and Nick sought out to also became the first Rabbit and Fox to join the SWAT Team, and become fully fledged SWAT Officers.
It hadn't been easy either, as Judy remembered. She and Nick practically had to go through a completely separate training regime, considering their smaller size. They even came under the scrutiny of their instructor in comparison to the other trainees- not because he didn't like them… but because of their unlikely survival when it came to the (hopefully not, but) very possible event they would be shot. Even with a full level 3 set of body armour, despite being able to stop most bullet calibres in their tracks, the kinetic energy behind it would still hurt, or even kill smaller mammals due to blunt force trauma…
And that was exactly what had happened: combination of Nick's smaller size, the powerful handgun, large pistol cartridge, and suffering three consecutive gunshots at point-blank range.
It was a miracle Nick had survived it in the first place.
…
As Judy continued to resuscitate her partner, with each set of compressions she had shot her head up at least once to look where Fang and Bogo were, just to check that they hadn't abandoned her. Not that she thought they would even consider the thought of it... but right now Judy's mind was racing with panic and procedure both; an odd combination that allowed the stupidest things to cross her mind even when she was still thinking rationally.
Despite this, it had all clicked in Judy's head anyway: Bogo had gone to retrieve the defibrillator from the APC to revive Nick... but they couldn't use it in the wet, and that was near impossible due to the light rainfall still around them. The next best thing was to shield them from the rain, which was exactly what Fang was doing; to find something amongst the vehicle debris to create a makeshift shelter, even if the rain now came down with much less vigour than it had previously.
No matter what sort of life and death scenario it was... water and electricity don't mix.
But even so, like earlier, they weren't going to be stopped by the weather.
Only, right now, Judy was frustrated to why Bogo and Fang were taking so long... despite it having not even been a whole minute since they left. Every second that passed for Judy was torturous. That heavy weight of grief returning from much earlier in the day, back in the MCC when Bogo had told her they had lost contact with the whole team, including Nick... only now it was much, much worse as she leaned over the stricken Red Fox, trying desperately to save his life...
Judy had just started her third set of compressions when Bogo returned, carrying a large red case in one hoof emblazoned with a white cross on it: the medkit... while in his other hoof he carried another, smaller case, also coloured red, but was instead emblazoned with a white heart on it, with a red lightning bolt striking through the centre: the AED.
"I managed to get a 10-52 to command," Bogo said openly, catching Judy's attention as he reached the scene, and gently placed both cases on the ground next to her…
10-52 … It clicked in Judy's head: Ambulance Needed. Bogo immediately confirmed the memory of learning her Police codes to be correct:
"They're sending an ambulance," the Buffalo continued, "but with the chaos of this storm they couldn't give an ETA-"
Judy didn't respond, only continued giving Nick CPR, as at that same time, Fang also returned, dragging with him the dismembered door of the LAPV that Bogo had torn off and used as a weapon against the Panther earlier. The poor Wolf collapsed from his injured leg that was previously trapped in the same vehicle as he stopped to place the door down, panting heavily from his open maw and letting out minor inaudible whines when he arrived, both from the exhaustion and physical stress of moving the heavy object.
He didn't go unnoticed to Bogo, remembering that Fang had been through much more exertion today than he or Judy had put together. He decided to relieve the Wolf of anymore exertion, for his sake.
Bogo rushed to his aid, helping him up, speaking out his name as a verbal showing of his concern;
"Jonathan-"
"I'm fine, sir," the Wolf quickly spoke back, "I can manage,"
"I'll handle the shelter, you unpack the defibrillator," Bogo ordered the Wolf, pointing to the red box containing the AED, "but try to keep it dry as you can,"
Fang nodded in response, trundling over to the case with the red and white heart on it. As he dropped to his knees, he leaned over the box as he unclasped the top, shielding most of the light rain from falling upon it with his own back as he opened it, and began to unpack the defibrillator.
As he did so, Fang stole a glance at the dying Fox next to him, and then at the Bunny giving CPR, as Judy now started her fourth set of compressions. She looked up for an instant, both the Rabbit and Wolf sharing a glance of trepidation of their fallen comrade and friend…
What Fang also noticed, even with only the half second glance he had of them… what he noticed, was the dread in Judy's eyes.
He knew what sort of relationship she and Nick had. Heck… earlier he'd pretty much told Nick to just grit his teeth and tell the doe how he felt about her, and Fang was certain (along with almost every other Officer at Precinct 1) that the feeling was mutual. That dread he saw in the Rabbit's eyes, even for half a second, confirmed that to be true. Fang couldn't imagine what was tearing through Judy's mind right now, as she was literally trying to bring the mammal she loved back to life.
…
Meanwhile, Bogo proceeded in building the makeshift shelter. After helping the Wolf, he stood up straight, eyeing for anything suitable that was close by so it required minimal moving; it didn't take long to decide on two things to prop the LAPV's dismembered door up with.
The Buffalo thundered only slightly down the bridge, stepping up to the semi-truck's crumpled battering ram. Bogo moved to the opposite side, clamped his hoofs on the cold, wet metal and pushed firmly forward, forcing the large piece of solid debris to move across the sodden tarmac from the bovine's strength, which Bogo continued to push until it was much closer to the scene.
It was certainly easier than the last thing he had to force across the bridge, also considering Bogo was still under the influence of the residual effects of using the Nighthowler inhaler only minutes before.
As soon as the ram was in position, Bogo eyed the next piece of wreckage he intended to move: the mangled remains of the semi-truck cab itself.
It was only at this moment he became a little perplexed at how Nick, Judy and Fang had survived such a terrible traffic collision. But that was a fact he knew there was no point in pondering about… he was sure the three of them couldn't even begin to explain how they survived it.
Instead, he focussed on what needed to be done, and clamped his hoofs on the warped metal of the truck cab, and dragging its mangled remains towards the scene of the fallen Fox.
…
Judy cringed at the sound of the scraping metal, but didn't let it distract her from giving CPR as she flattened her ears against her head and down her back. She felt a sharp sting come from her left ear, remembering how she had felt the high powered, large calibre bullet graze her. It just made her more woeful in the moment, knowing that Nick had saved her from a very sudden and violent death, only to suffer through his own. Judy had certainly felt her own pain today, but she couldn't imagine what Nick had been through himself… and now, she was straining to save him, and return the favour he had given her-
"Hopps."
The mention of her name immediately dragged her away from her rueful thoughts.
Judy looked up, having not even noticed Bogo was now beside her and had opened up the larger red case that was the APC's medkit.
She watched as Bogo pulled out what looked like a rolled up towel to her, but was instead a thick bandage big enough to wrap the entirety of an elephant's arm.
"I'll lift him up, you roll this out beneath him," Bogo ordered.
Judy nodded, taking the gargantuan roll of bandage from her Commanding Officer, and placed it on the wet asphalt ready to roll it out and create a barrier between the vulpine and the water still not absorbed into the road.
Then, with an almost unnatural tender Judy had never seen before, Bogo slowly pushed his hoofs underneath the lifeless Fox until Nick was resting across his forearms, and then gently lifted him up. Nick's left arm fell limp to his side, as well as his tail dangled motionlessly when Bogo lifted him into the air high enough for Judy to roll out the huge gauze dressing beneath.
As she did so, pushing the roll firmly for it to unravel, Judy stole a glance at the Chief's face…
And she was going to remember what she saw for the rest of her life.
It wasn't either one of the usual two expressions she had ever seen on the Buffalo's face before: either his usual stoic stone expression he always wore, or his scorching stare that could probably cause any mammal to spontaneously combust when he was giving an administrative scolding…
No… it was a genuine look of fear and concern.
And Judy knew why…
Between her and Bogo, they shared a mutual understanding of efficiency, devotion and professionalism in their job. As long as she didn't overwork herself (which happened more often than Judy would let on to him) Bogo was usually very lenient and respectful of her, having more than exceeded his expectations since she came to the Precinct as a new recruit three years ago.
Bogo's association with Nick however, was far more… chaotic. From his first day on the Force, Nick had always tested how far he could annoy the Buffalo with his sarcastic wit, partly as a retaliation of the comments he overheard and had shared with the Buffalo when they first met, and partly just because, that's who Nick was. It had seen him been put on parking duty several times just for a simple daily punishment, and on a couple of times when Nick had taken it too far, Bogo had threatened to suspend him. Those were an eye opener to Nick that he should probably tone it down when being himself around his boss, but still never stirred him to change completely, despite Judy trying to keep him in-line.
However, over time, rather unexpectedly, Bogo seemed to take the principle of: 'if you can't beat them, join them' and instead (at the appropriate times) reciprocated Nick's humour, and on rare occasion successfully beating the Fox at his own game... the first time of which had left Nick drop- jawed and speechless at the smug smile on Bogo's face as all the other Officer's in the morning briefing (including Judy) sat their laughing at him, much to his embarrassment.
Nick took it well in stride though, and saw it as a challenging game that after that day, Bogo was now willing to play. It started a friendly, but unspoken bond between the two mammals, one which both of them seemed to like- as long as it didn't get in the way of working efficiently in Bogo's case. He also found it as an effective way to motivate the Fox, as well as taking some of the pressure and stress off of Judy when in his office, and as well, to find a meaningful and personal connection with him… like Bogo had done so with many of his Officers, including Judy.
So she knew- if it hadn't been prevalent enough today already in his speech and actions… because despite his usual verbal stance on claiming he didn't care, deep down, the truth was...
Bogo really did care.
It still showed with the tenderness of his motion when he brought Nick back down to the ground once Judy had rolled out the bandage. The thick gauze dressing was big enough it practically made a bed for the Fox… not enough to get a good night's sleep, but enough to shield him from the cold wet ground underneath.
Judy was just about to continue CPR when Bogo handed her a bundle of cloth, as well as another much smaller bandage roll, and an aerosol can that Judy recognised was the infamous 'Stinger' antiseptic spray that each medkit carried for quick temporary wound closures until proper medical treatment could be reached.
"Dry his chest off… as much as possible, and seal that wound," Bogo ordered her.
Once again, Judy only nodded in reply, taking the items from the Buffalo.
She turned back to the Fox, her mind still racing with panic and procedure. She focused only on what Bogo told her to do… so leaned over, and gently started wiping the cloth across the bare fur of Nick's exposed chest, swiftly drying off the worst of the wet from the heavy rain earlier. The cloth quickly became damp with the fallen rainwater, which Judy then used to dampen around the blood stained area of russet fur from the stab wound in Nick's side, taking away the worst of the blood. Judy began to feel a little woozy as the cloth began turning red- not because she couldn't handle the sight of blood… she had already inspected her earlier gunshot wound and seen it now it was worsened (and still left untreated to this moment) and she didn't feel woozy at the sight of her own blood. It's the fact that it was Nick's blood she was cleaning up that she felt uneasy… and while a small puncture wound it was, Judy knew a simple gauze dressing wouldn't be enough to seal it; Nick would need stitches at least. But right now, everything was a temporary measure… they weren't doctors after all, only first aid certified as every law enforcement officer was expected to be in Zootopia.
Judy cursed the ambulance Bogo had requested for not being here yet, despite being under a minute since he radioed for it... every second mattered, and each of those seconds was torturous with horrible thoughts. Would Nick even wake up if the defibrillator revived him? What if he's suffered brain damage? Would he ever be the same again? What if he still succumbed to all his other injuries? What if he had lost too much blood already? What if this was all for nothing? What if he didn't make it?-
What if it was already too late?
Judy's paw shook till the moment she dropped the now blood stained cloth with all these questions shooting through her head. She reached over to the antiseptic spray can, knocking it over with a clang on the ground when her paw missed the easy grab and bashed into it. Her small blunder forced her to let out an audible whimper that she was sure Bogo and Fang had heard, trying to suppress herself from bursting into tears as a single one trickled from her left eye. She had to keep it together… and she would. For Nick's sake.
He was going to make it.
Judy swiftly wiped her tear away and picked up the antiseptic aerosol. Quickly and efficiently, like a well-oiled machine, she doused Nick's stab wound with a more than generous amount of the disinfectant spray, before ripping a substantially large amount of the roll of gauze and applied it to the injury. It wouldn't stay there on its own, so Judy quickly reached over to the medkit, trying to find the special semi-adhesive tape for attaching dressings to fur. It took only a little rummaging to find a small roll which Judy swiftly pulled and bit off several strips to firmly attach the bandage against Nick's stab wound.
It was only after when putting the tape back that Judy noticed that she was now sheltered from the rain, and had also only just realised the slightly lesser light from the precarious but solid structure that had been built over her head…
While she had been cleaning and dressing Nick's stab wound, Bogo had stood back up, went over to pick up the LAPV's ripped door, and simply propped it up to bridge the gap between the crumpled battering ram and mangled cab of the crashed semi-truck, effectively creating the makeshift shelter. It was crude… obviously, but was substantially big enough to shelter Nick and Judy, though Fang could only partly shelter himself and Bogo could only just peek his head in.
Now silently, having dealt with Nick's stab wound, Judy just kept performing the necessary CPR, taking no notice of the lessened light, and certainly not of the rain that was now pattering onto the metal above her.
Now all they needed was the defibrillator…
"Fangmeyer?-"
"Done," the Wolf instantly replied, "Just need to attach the electrodes,"
Fang carefully moved the case containing the AED until it was underneath the makeshift metal shelter, shielding the electrical device from the rain. It was all set and ready to go… and Fang was thankful that he did at least remember how to set up the device from his life saving classes, in comparison to what he couldn't remember from his EOD training. It did help that there were written instructions on the defibrillator itself to follow as well.
"Here," Fang uttered, reaching into the kit and handing one of the electrode pads to Judy, while he held the other.
The diagram on the special adhesive pad was very simple and easy to follow. The defibrillator kit had to account for every variable of mammal that it would be used on, the main issue here being size. Considering their size, the diagram on these set of pads was of a generic line drawing of some sort of small canine. It was impossible to tell which species exactly, but it likely was indeed to be a red fox as they were classed as one of the largest species of 'small mammals'.
Judy took the pad Fang had given her, checking the diagram carefully. She had taken the first pad, which instructed her to attach it just below Nick's shoulder, directly onto the centre right of his chest. Meanwhile, Fang had the other pad, instructing him to attach it to the left side of Nick's ribcage, beneath his arm, only slightly above the dressing Judy had put over the Fox's stab wound.
Simultaneously, both Judy and Fang carefully attached the pads to the Fox, making sure they were firmly secure. They were made of a similar adhesive to the surgical tape Judy had attached the dressing to Nick's wound, except a bit more advanced, as the embedded electrodes where tipped with tiny spikes so they would reach the skin, negating the need for fur to be shaved off so defibrillation could take place. It had become the standard for Zootopia's medical industry, as shaving off fur- particularly in winter months, was an unnecessarily difficult task that could be avoided, and most importantly got in the way of saving a mammal's life. That wasn't the case anymore though. The only reason the AED still contained a grooming kit was if the fur was too thick the electrodes wouldn't reach the skin, and would still need to be shaved short.
Luckily Nick's chest fur was quite thin at the moment for this time of year, and was clear the electrodes were well attached as the AED's display immediately came to life, quickly picking up Nick's fading heart beat with the inbuilt heart monitor.
There was some relief that his heart was still beating… but the rhythm line was inconsistent. Occasionally it spiked up higher than it should, while others it barely made a mound and even entered a short flat-line, until it spiked again.
Fang looked intently at the AED, and after a short while of watching the ECG display, the device began making an electrical whirring sound as the inbuilt battery began charging up the capacitor. A moment later the display changed as it said:
Analysing Rhythm...
Shock Advised.
"Stay back, stay back!" Fang directed, waving his paw for Judy to move away from the Fox.
As she did move away till she was at least a couple of feet away from Nick, Fang placed a single digit of his left paw above the shock button on the AED… cringing to himself as the next moment he brought his finger down to press it-
In an instant, Fang, Judy and Bogo all watched as Nick's body appeared to tense up and his chest lift slightly upwards as several hundred volts of electricity coursed through his chest to try and stabilise his heartbeat… and became relaxed again barely a second after.
When he didn't inhale though, the AED display analysed the Fox's heart rhythm again, before going on to say:
Continue CPR.
Fang said it out loud for Judy and Bogo to hear;
"CPR…"
The Wolf leaned forward, offering to take over from the exhausted Bunny, asking Judy;
"You want me t-"
"No!" Judy snapped, almost completely swatting Fang's paw away as she placed both her own together again, just below Nick's ribcage, beginning again to count the compressions;
"One, two, three, four…"
The Bunny's mumbling turned inaudible again as Judy continued to count in her head… and all the Wolf and Buffalo could do was watch, and wait.
Fang was taken aback by the Rabbit's outburst, having only been trying to help her… but he understood exactly why Judy had snapped at him. She felt guilty for what had happened. That the reason Nick, the mammal she loved, was lying here dying was all her fault… and she felt she needed to redeem herself. Fang knew this, but it wasn't good for her. Judy was only exhausting herself and pinning so much stress and pressure that she didn't need. He may have one maimed paw but Fang knew he could still help her, and in turn help Nick by allowing him to take over the resuscitation…
Because the truth was, this whole situation made Fang feel useless. He felt like this was his fault too... considering he'd promised to watch Nick's back for him and failed. He didn't want to see this day end like this, by losing a friend, and a good friend too… and for Judy's sake, to not end the day with a broken heart. He wanted to see the Fox and the Bunny get the happy ending they deserved, because, having spent enough time with both of them today and prior to this day, and after his little heart-to-heart with the Fox, he probably knew it better than anyone that Nick and Judy were perfect for each other.
He and almost every officer in Precinct 1 knew it... even Bogo.
That thought made the Wolf steal a glance at his Commanding Officer, just as Bogo turned to glare up the length of the bridge, clearly hoping to see some flashing red and blue lights approaching… only none were yet to come.
Fang just turned back to staring at the display of the AED, which had now gone back to showing Nick's heart rhythm line on the ECG, with a timer beneath indicating how long to continue the CPR.
Fang watched the timer go for two tortuous minutes, while Judy continued to vigorously resuscitate her partner, and Bogo just glared.
Neither of them said a word…
At least not until the two minutes were up and the AED's display now read:
Stop CPR. Analysing…
"Stop, stop…" Fang stuttered to Judy, motioning with his paw to tell her to move.
Judy obeyed, moving cautiously away from Nick again, while at the sound of Fang's voice, Bogo turned his attention back to the scene.
Fang still stared at the display, occasionally glancing over at the lifeless Fox as the AED analysed his heart rhythm, and feeling the stares from both the Bunny and the Buffalo present…
Impatience swiftly caught Judy's vocal chords;
"Fang?-"
"Just wait!" the Wolf snapped, unintentionally, before changing to mumbling at the device, "Come on, do something…"
The very second after, the device whirred with another electrical hum as the capacitor charged itself up, and the display changed to say:
Analysing Rhythm...
Shock Advised.
Fang moved his good left paw over the shock button;
"Clear!"
And slammed onto it-
Like before, Nick's body tensed up as another few hundred volts of electricity coursed through is heart, and he quickly came to relax again. Fang, Judy and Bogo could only watch as the defibrillator worked for that seemingly endless second, with each of them holding onto hope that it would stir the Fox to breathe again…
But it didn't. Nick still remained lifeless.
Fang looked back at the AED display, which once again changed to say:
Continue CPR.
Judy was looking at the Wolf raptly, her eyes wide in waiting and still full of fear and worry. It only took Fang's small nod at her to indicate what she needed to do… and she swiftly continued to resuscitate her partner.
…
Thirty compressions.
Two breaths.
…
Rinse. Repeat.
It went on for another two torturous minutes.
Another shock.
…
Then another two minutes.
…
Time was passing, and hope was fading.
Judy had been giving it her all… but Nick still showed no signs of coming back to her. In the short time it had been since she found out he loved her from his recorded message, his fur had lost its usual shine, the skin beneath grown pale, and he'd grown so cold and limp. Several times Judy had to pause to wipe a tear away from trickling down her cheek at the ever-growing truth before her…
But she still retained that glimmer of hope, burning strong in the darkness… she couldn't afford to lose it.
At least she tried to… until after she finished the last set of compressions.
…
Fang checked the AED's display, once again motioning for Judy to back away as the device analysed Nick's heart rhythm.
The torturous seconds ticked by… until the display said:
Analysing Rhythm...
No Shock Advised.
Fang lowered his brow and narrowed his eyes, confusion setting in alongside his worry as he silently mouthed the word 'what?' to himself in his head. That confusion remained until a moment later, when the AED's display went back to the ECG showing Nick's heartbeat rhythm…
Which was now only a long and motionless flat line, along with the words:
No Rhythm.
Fang froze to the spot as he just stared aimlessly, wide eyed at the display.
There was no shock advised because there was nothing left to shock. Nick's heart rhythm was in asystole, which meant-
"What?" Judy uttered as she grew impatient of the Wolf doing nothing before raising her voice, "WHAT!?"
…
Nick was gone.
And Fang would now have to tell Judy that.
He lifted his head to look at her, but he immediately darted his eyesight downwards away, staring emptily at the ground. He could barely bring himself to look at the Bunny, let alone tell her the truth. Fang gently shook his head;
"Judy… I'm sorry…" he stuttered softly.
The Rabbit froze once the words pierced her ears as they fell behind her head.
Hearing as well, Bogo huffed dismally, closing his eyes and solemnly lowering his head in respect. Fang more or less did the same; he still couldn't look at Judy, just kept his head bowed and stared aimlessly at the ground.
Judy glanced between them, a frustrated frown forming across her muzzle, becoming furious that Fang and Bogo were just giving up. Judy shook her head defiantly, refusing to believe it while making a long blink to force the water from her eyes and scrunching her face up. She wouldn't be deterred, and she wouldn't give up. She leaned over the lifeless Fox again, silently begging in her head and still telling herself that Nick was going to make it as she continued to give CPR.
She wasn't going to lose him.
Not like this.
Not today.
…
Bogo watched her, admiring her resolve but also pitying the futility of her actions. He knew there was still the slightest chance they could still save Nick… but they weren't doctors. All they had to paw and hoof was a medkit meant for treating minor traumas by temporarily closing wounds and bandaging injured limbs, and an automated defibrillator as a last resort… and if that failed like it had, then-
Bogo shook his head. It was beyond their capabilities. Only trained doctors or paramedics could save the Fox now, and they needed the ambulance here to do it.
And as Bogo turned to stare once more up the bridge towards the city, there was still no indication of it arriving anytime soon.
He turned back to watching the Rabbit resuscitate the Fox, speaking out to her softly;
"Hopps-"
"WHERE IS THAT DAMN AMBULANCE!?" Judy roared.
Her outburst actually made Bogo flinch and silence him… Bogo, of all mammals, as Judy had appeared to read his mind about the absent ambulance. It was one of the rarest moments of his life when Bogo's mind drew a blank on what to do in this moment. He didn't respond, because he didn't know what to say.
They had done all they could…
But despite her exhaustion, Judy still continued to give Nick CPR…
Thirty compression to two breaths.
She would sooner collapse and die of exhaustion herself before giving up trying to save him.
…
But as time went by, the Fox remained motionless, the AED remained silent, still showing the motionless line on the ECG, and the ambulance still failed to arrive.
And it became clear that Judy would just have to accept the truth.
Bogo huffed soundlessly, as he spoke out to her again;
"Hopps…"
"No." Judy shot back angrily, knowing what he wasn't going say.
"Hopps-"
"NO!" She screamed back, shaking her head as the tears began to well up in her eyes, threatening to break the dam of stubbornness she was holding them back with.
…
"Judy..."
Bogo hesitated, having changed to using her first name to soften the blow, as he knew what he was about to say to the usually strong and stubborn Bunny would crush her completely...
But it was only the undeniable truth;
"He's gone Judy... let him go."
…
No words came from her…
It was in that moment that Judy's usual wall of enduring determination came crumbling down, brutally destroyed from the undeniable truth that the mammal she cared about most of all, the Fox that became her best friend, the Fox she had grown to love, her Fox… Nicholas Wilde… was dead. It broke her completely, letting out the woes and worries she'd been hiding, falling into a deep dark pit of grief and despair, made audible by her sobs and wails.
Tears streamed from the Rabbit's eyes with the same tenacity as the earlier storm as Judy practically collapsed next to the Fox, leaving her arm draped over him as she cried into his shoulder, hearing for herself the silence from Nick's chest. She could still feel his silky soft fur tickling against her own as she leaned against him. Her nose twitched and her lips trembled, letting out gasps and cries as streaks of salty water flowed from her eyes and dripped onto the Fox's russet fur.
Judy couldn't believe it. She wouldn't believe it. She still begged for a miracle to happen, that all of a sudden Nick would awake and embrace her lovingly and affectionately just like she desired. She had always had her little glimmer of hope… a little flame flickering defiantly in the darkness. But that little fire had burned out now. And it wasn't coming back.
Nick was gone, and Judy felt like part of her had died with him.
…
The two other mammals present turned away, not being able to bear the sight of the heartbroken Bunny. However, it was still impossible not to hear her shrill sobs, as they seemed to echo all around them.
Fang stood up and moved away, back underneath the shivering rain still falling all around. He couldn't stay still, and so went pacing up and down on the spot, limping on his injured leg across the sodden asphalt of the bridge… all the way until he couldn't bear to keep it hidden;
"RRRAAHHRRR!" He growled loudly, echoing around him as he let out the anger, despair and sadness with a swift kick of his good leg, sending a small piece of littering debris from the vehicle crashes hurtling off the bridge to the waters below.
He dropped down to his rear, sat firmly on the ground, leaning forward with his tail draped motionlessly behind him, and paying no attention to the dull pain he now had in his foot-paw, as he stared worthlessly up the length of the bridge, still fuming with depressive rage.
…
Whereas, Bogo…
Bogo just remained silent, stood unmoved, and glared off into the distance at the city in the background.
During his long career, he had seen more than enough Officers fall like Nick had for this city, even way before he was Chief of Police… and today specifically, that bold Fox was just the end of a long list. The job was dangerous, but that didn't make it any less of a tragedy.
For himself, Bogo had dealt with enough grief in his life that it no longer affected him, at least not like it would any other mammal; he still felt saddened, but was often irritated by how easily broken some mammals were. Only, he knew not all mammals were made of stone like he was. The only thing he could do was to stay strong for those who were affected, to be the one to sympathise and comfort. To be, if necessary… the shoulder to cry on. And to certainly be the one to motivate the bereaved in carrying on, and staying strong for their departed loved one.
…
Three mammals, three very different individuals dealing with grief in their own way:
One cries.
The other gets angry.
And the third stays quiet.
For a time which felt like hours on end, Judy was unintelligible. Just grieving over the lifeless Fox, balling with tears and weeps as she let out her seemingly unending sadness. After she had let out the worst, she found a shred of her motivation returning, in an effort for her to try and speak to him one last time, even if he couldn't listen. Judy had to tell Nick that she loved him back. She managed to hold back her sobs and moans of anguish for long enough to enable her to speak out in a hushed whisper;
"Nick…" Judy stammered, "I know… you probably can't hear me-" she paused as she sniffed, "but I hope you can, because, I have to say this…"
She paused longer as her lip trembled and her nose twitched;
"I don't know how to explain it, and I don't even know exactly when it started, but-" she sniffed again, another tear leaving her eye, "I always thought for some time, that maybe… maybe there was something between us that could be more than friendship… But I didn't do or say anything serious about it, because I was always scared of what you might say, and now I feel so, stupid that we've been feeling the same way for so long and-"
She paused again, as she gulped, wiping away her tears;
"The truth is Nick…" Judy paused again before she said it, "I love you too… I do... Nick Wilde, I really do love you!" she said with glee, only to instantly change back to grief, "But please, Nick, please! Don't give up now!-"
Tears began to stream down her face again, as Judy's sobs returned;
"You can't say you love me then leave me- you can't!" she pleaded, "It's not fair! ... I know that sounds selfish, but it's not! … I already thought I'd lost you once today- I… I don't want to lose you, Nick! … Not just after I had you back…"
Judy leaned her head back down, whining onto his shoulder as she continued to weep and beg;
"I love you, Nick. Please come back… please come back to me…"