This wasn't right. Something was happening to the baby and she knew she had no time to lose. Opening the incubator Izzie reached for the crying baby. It's arms and legs were stiff from the panic of getting not enough air and its lips were already blue.
"Think, think." At the edge of crying she just stared at the little boy. Her hands were shaking. She couldn't move, she couldn't think. The only thing she knew was that this was not supposed to happen.
"Izzie, what's going…oh my god."
Addison had just entered the room to check on Izzie and her patient. She hadn't forgotten her promise and given Izzie some 'real stuff' to deal with. By the looks of the situation this was too real.
"What's happening?" Shocked and fully alert Addison pushed Izzie away.
"I don't know. I should know. I…" Staring at Addison she was hoping for a miracle.
"Get a nurse. NOW!" At this harsh order Izzie jumped.
"I, yes. Sorry."
Addison didn't react. She was already increasing the amount of oxygen. No reaction. Her hands were getting numb and hearing Izzie return with a nurse she just shouted some orders. Without hesitation the nurse and Izzie tried to fulfill them as effectively as possible. After another ten minutes the boy's vitals finally started to return to normal.
After a while Addison slowly closed the incubator and stepped back, staring at Izzie with wide eyes. She was sweating like having just crossed the finish line of a marathon and her brain was empty.
"I am sorry. I totally panicked. I didn't know what to do, I…"
"It's not your fault." Addison sat down.
"What? Of course it is. I messed up big time. Maybe you were right still treating me like an intern."
Izzie was confused. She leaned against the wall right next to Meredith.
"No, you didn't mess up. I gave him into your observation because you act with your heart and he really needs to be loved and not only treated like a robot."
Addison closed her eyes and sighed. The beeps of the machines the baby was hooked to were the only noise in the room.
Izzie didn't know what to think of this. Sure it was important to care for people more than just in a medical way. But still…the medical part was her job.
"I know that I made a big mistake and I am sorry. I will try harder the next time but I don't agree with you that I wasn't the one who messed up."
Side by side they both stared at the incubator in front of them, being over alert to any sign of unnatural behavior. The tiny boy was sound asleep and his skin tone was already back to normal. Slowly Izzie approached the incubator and stared through the glass at the fragile, with cables and sensors covered body.
"I am sorry. I won't mess up a second time. Promise. I mean, I hope that there won't eve be a second time." Pausing she trailed her finger along the glass pane.
"We will be okay." She smiled. This was her calling and she couldn't think of being anywhere else but at this station.
Addison couldn't bear the situation that was slowly enrolling itself in front of her. It was too much. She would be a parent soon and what if she wasn't able to take care of their child? What if she was a terrible mother? In fact, there will be two mothers. How could this have happened to her? What if the baby was sick? She had to deal with these cases constantly and watching Izzie trailing her finger along the incubator she felt like her insides were ripped out. She was becoming a mother but it didn't feel at all like she had always imagined. There were so many worries and the baby wasn't even close to be born. And what if their relationship didn't last? Till now she had always thought that if it was meant to be she would find another 'love of her life', that life would still continue after a breakup. Right now it felt like this was her one and only and also last chance to make things work. And it frightened her more than she could admit to herself.
Hearing Izzie's words she gulped. "I…I have to take a break for some minutes. Can you please cover for me?"
Izzie had already forgotten that Addison had been sitting behind her whilst talking to the boy and felt kind of dumb. Her cheeks flushed she turned around.
"Sure." Her view fell on Addison's white face and shocked Izzie rushed to her side. "Are you okay? Are you sure you want me to cover? After this?" She pointed at the incubator.
"Yes, please." That's all Addison was able to say and trying to sound self-secure and competent she smiled. "I…I have to … I have to do stuff."
"Dr. Montgomery, are…"
"You can call me Addison at work too. I think it's only appropriate." With a fake smile Addison slowly got up.
"Okay, then…Addison. What's the matter? You are not yourself anymore. Did something happen?" Worried Izzie gave her a puzzled look.
Exhausted and still trying to sound cheerful she shook her head. There was definitely no need to talk about her worries right now. "Thank you." With these words Addison turned around and followed by Izzie's worried look she headed to the door. After the door clicked shut Izzie slowly walked back to the boy.
"Just between you and me." She turned right and left, just like Addison had always used to do.
"This hospital sucks. I mean, everywhere you go people tell you how exhausted they are and how crappy their lives and relationships are. If you asked me I would say that Meredith and Addison could be really happy. They have a relationship. They are having a baby on the way. They have friends and a good place to work. What's wrong with them?"
Pausing she looked at the baby's vitals. "You are doing fine."
A smile on her face she brushed some blonde strands out of her face.
"Do you think I can leave you here? I have the weird feeling that some people in this hospital need somebody to talk to."
Not sure if she could already leave she paged for a nurse to take over and after some minutes she was walking through the brightly lit hallways of the hospital.
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Meredith was sitting in the locker room, staring at her open locker in front of her. At first she had thought the dizziness would go away but after two crucial hours of trying to stand upright and doing her work she had given in. Now that she knew why she was feeling that way she knew that she couldn't change it. But still, it felt like as if somebody else was taking over her body. She pulled the pager off her pants and pacing between the lockers she typed a message.
"Don't feel alright. I am in the locker room. Meredith"
Hoping that Addison would have time to stop by she sighed. With arms crossed she stared out of the window. Today was her last chance to tell Derek in person. Tomorrow he will be gone. She didn't like to admit it but she felt awful not having told him in the first place. Over all he was the father and he had a right to know. And who could guarantee that everything would work out with Addison? Whom was she kidding? The more she thought about everything the more she started to panic and the more she panicked the more awful she felt.
A wave of nausea hit her. Fighting the tears she hit her fist hard against a locker and shocked by the more than loud crash she insecurely looked around. Thank god she was still alone.
Beep, beep, beep!
The second her pager went off a big smile crept over her face. Reading the message it vanished as fast as it had appeared. It wasn't Addison but another emergency. Pulling herself together she laid both of her hands on her stomach.
"We can do this. Now, you pretend not being here and I promise we will get through the day just fine."
She hadn't even finished the sentence when her face went white. Maybe it hadn't been the best to tell it to pretend not to exist. Grabbing her chart she ran as fast as possible in direction of the emergency entrance. Not having come far she saw Derek standing next to some nurses, talking and maybe giving some instructions. For a split second she wanted to stop but the emergency had to have priority.
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"Meredith?" Addison stuck her head into the locker room. Not getting an answer she hurried through the room. "Meredith, are you in here?"
Beep, beep, beep!
"911. Shit!" Turning around and hoping for Meredith to be alright she made her way through the crowd in the hallway.
"Miranda, what's going on here?"
Dr. Bailey, who was shouting orders at her interns, spun around. "I have no idea. Has to be huge because…" She didn't have to finish the sentence. The look on her face told Addison to keep going.
Like some other nurses and doctors she jumped into the elevator.
"Hello Addison." The very familiar sound of Derek's voice went through her body like an arrow. What was it with him that she was still feeling uncomfortable and observed in his presence?
"Hey." Trying to bring the topic on neutral territory she continued the small talk. "Do you know what's this all about? Not often that we don't get any information."
"Don't know." Derek shrugged his shoulders. "But I'll be gone by tomorrow so this will be my last big mission."
Surprised Addison spun around. "What?"
"I'll be gone by tomorrow. Hasn't Meredith told you?" A more hurting than sarcastic smile on his face he looked at her. Addison was about to answer when the elevator stopped and all occupants pushed their way out.
"Does he know about them?" For the first time since they had broken up she was the one who wanted to continue a conversation.
"Derek." Running she pushed some nurses in front of her aside and came to a halt next to him.
"What?" They were already heading towards the emergency entrance. Still there was nothing to see.
"I…why Meredith?" Addison was confused. Panting and not knowing what else to ask she waited for an answer. Pushing the doors open they stepped outside. A bunch of doctors and nurses were lined up, all waiting for further information. Derek hadn't answered Addison's question and the longer he remained silent the more uncomfortable she started to feel.
"So you know." Addison stated.
"Know what?" Derek slowly turned around. "That you and Meredith are close? Yes, I know."
"And…you are okay with this?" In total shock about his so 'normal' reaction she stared at him in disbelief.
"Why shouldn't I be? It's none of my business." He took a few steps towards the chief who was staring at his radio device and the chart in his hands. "What's going on here?"
"A sunken ship or some boats. I got the message that most of the victims will be sent here. Our ambulances are already on their way but they haven't come back yet."
A bunch of frightened interns and some nurses were anxiously waiting right next to them and Addison had just spotted Meredith who was sitting at a bench with her eyes closed and her hands on her stomach.
"That doesn't look good. That doesn't look good." Torn between wanting to hear more from Derek and running to Meredith she just continued staring.
"Some boat or ship accident." Derek's voice made her jump.
"Ah, okay." Distracted by Meredith's misery she forced herself to listen to Derek. "So you were saying?"
"The accident had to…"
"No, not that." Impatiently Addison interrupted him. Time was precious and the ambulances could arrive any second. "I mean about Meredith and me. So you are okay with us being together?"
Derek's mouth dropped open.
"WHAT?" His voice was all high-pitched and he threw his arms in the air. "WHAT? YOU ARE WHAT?"
Addison stared at him. This was clearly not the reaction of a person who knew.
"But you said you knew about us?" Her pulse quickened. "I…Derek. I…"
Derek wasn't able to think straight. With big furious eyes he stared at her.
"You two are together like we were? Together together? The two women I was screwing are now screwing each other?" Looking around like his head was loose he didn't know what to do. So he had made out with lesbians? What was wrong with him?
"No, Derek. This wasn't supposed to happen and we were more than shocked too. But…it happened and now you know and…oh my god. Meredith."
Not paying any more attention to Derek she rushed by him. Having eyed Meredith out of the corner of her eyes she had just watched her throw up into a bin right next to her.
Looking after Addison and turning back to the chief who was still trying to find out what was going on he was totally lost. Slowly he walked after Addison who was already kneeling in front of Meredith.
"I…" Meredith's face was white as the wall and leaning back she tried to suppress the tears. "I don't know what's going on."
"Are you sick?" Derek had stopped right next to them.
Addison slowly got up, not knowing what to say. Meredith didn't know that he already knew and she didn't want to upset her anymore. She sat down right next to Meredith and brushed some strands out of her face.
"Do you have a tissue?" Meredith had used all hers and had the feeling that this wasn't over.
"Here you go." Derek handed her a pack.
"Thanks." Not looking at him Meredith took it. "What's going on here? Why is nothing happening?"
Again Derek was the one to react. "Nobody knows. We are all waiting." Observing the two women in front of him he felt awful.
"Tomorrow I'll be gone and you two are finally free."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Meredith slowly raised her head.
Full of agony Derek raised his voice. "Oh don't play with me. Addison just told me…"
"Because I thought he already knew."
Apologetically she looked at Meredith who still had no clue what this was all about. Feeling another wave of nausea coming up she grabbed Addison's hand and moved closer to the bin.
"How should I've known that you are together?"
That was too much. Again Meredith emptied her stomach. Not knowing what to say or do Addison just waited for everything to be over.
"Derek, Addison! I need you over here."
The chief's voice made them both jump. Addison felt like splitting apart. This was the worst-case-scenario she could've imagined.
"Grey, what's happening over here?" Bailey came rushing to her side.
"I'm fine." Trying to sound okay she slowly got up.
"Then take over this ambulance. My interns will be there to listen to your instructions." With a wink and a strange smile Dr. Bailey turned around, leaving Meredith in her misery.