36

Sunday was difficult. Thinking about what had been done, Law sat at his empty desk and stared out the window with a heavy expression. He felt like a hole had been opened up in his chest, made raw with the intense quiet of a lazy, inactive day. He knew he'd done the right thing – he'd entrusted Smoker with the information and the man was quick and fast with the follow-through. He just hadn't expected it to be this fast – so sudden. It felt like someone had kicked his legs right out from under him and left a painful wound in his gut. He had expected Sanji to disappear with some time and effort, but not this fast. The timing had been right – perfect, if he allowed himself to think about it more.

But it meant that he couldn't see the boy, anymore. The loss of Sanji's presence was like having his breath stolen from him. He wouldn't be able to smell that shitty combination of cologne and smoke anymore; wouldn't be able to touch that bony hand of his, wouldn't be treated to his machine-gun firing of rapid talking. Law felt like the only person that had come to understand him had been permanently removed from his life – and what if it were true? There was no reason for Sanji to come back – if Sola truly was a safe place, would a mother in fear of her ex-husband even try to return?

Not after seeing those pictures Law hoped. Hopefully she had found a backbone in the time she was away, made stronger by the family court system. He didn't know Sola, he only knew what Sanji told him of her. She'd chosen to move out of state away from them; most likely ridiculed and lied about, given Sanji's flip-flopping opinion when it came to his own mother. Law could only hope she would give into instinct to protect her own son when it was needed, by all means possible.

Hearing Sanji say those things to him – Law had figured it was running emotion, the shock of removal, the anger and hurt – those were the things speaking for him. He was impulsive and fiery and even after Law had done those things to him before they had come to be anything – he hoped that this was just that. He couldn't express to anyone how much it hurt to have someone removed from his life like this. Rosinante was out of reach; Lamie was gone. Sanji had only been moved, but…only time would tell how well these things would hold up for any future reunion.

This pain was weighty and suffocating and he felt exhausted to the bone. This bittersweet thing ensured Sanji's safety from Judge; who knew how the situation would escalate after last night's escapade? Law just knew the worst of things – he couldn't think positively about it. Sanji would only grow more defiant and Judge more desperate to control the situation so it could only end cruelly and painfully, and Law had only that to rely on to make his decision.

He scratched his head, looking down at the discarded shirt he had laid over his lap. It smelled like Sanji. Like coffee, cologne and tinges of his body odor – really, it was the only thing he had of him. There wasn't a chance to say 'goodbye', and Sanji was furious with him; who knew if he'd ever forgive him for this? Maybe when time carried on and Sanji started to relax in that new world of his, maybe Sanji would call him and forgive him. But even that would hurt – because neither of them would be physically involved in the other's life, because lies were easy over the phone. Law told them all the time to Rosinante; it would be easy to tell Sanji because Sanji couldn't be there to read the truth physically.

He felt an ache in his gut – things had happened so fast. Wasn't yesterday at this time a warmer feeling?

So involved in his thoughts he didn't know someone was at the door until he heard the hard knocks. He debated on answering it because he wasn't ready to talk to his parents about the feelings he had right now; they were still strangers to him, and nothing they had to say would be reassuring. They'd only be outsiders speaking fake words of comfort that they couldn't feel, either.

"Let me in, kid," he heard Smoker say, rattling the knob.

Reluctantly, but trusting Smoker to say something on Sanji, Law set aside the shirt and went to unlock and open the door. The man walked in with an unimpressed look to his face as he surveyed the room before looking at him. He gestured at Law to follow him outside, where Lainy and Lorenzo looked after them nervously, Lorenzo holding Panda's collar as the dog barked at the worker.

"It'll only take a few minutes," Smoker assured them as they walked out the door. On the porch, he pulled out a couple of cigarettes – one for him, the other for Law. Law's addiction had him snatching the stick from him, and the taste of the nicotine was welcome. Numbing his brain to the pain he felt, leaving him dazed by the strength as it had been a few days since he last had one.

Smoker examined the yard, his car parked parallel to the curb. He said, "You did a good thing, don't second guess yourself. Because of the circumstances and the documentation you provided, it was cause for concern to expedite the process. The papers have already been served to that ass, he can't do anything else. You were included, this house – those boys have been warned to keep their distance at school. Any violation of this restraining order would be good on your behalf."

"Like a piece of paper could stop anybody," Law muttered. "I don't care."

Smoker exhaled heavily, cigarette caught between his teeth. He said, "I know you don't. You know them better than that piece of paper, so it's expected that you know what you might be walking into at school. It's a sticky situation, kid. If possible, another change of school might do you well."

Law didn't have ties to that school, but at the same time, he didn't fear those Vinsmokes. They unleashed their worst on their own sibling – after all the talk Ichiji warned him with, there was no point to the older brother's torment of him. Sanji was out of their reach, now. Anything they did to Law was futile, and he figured Ichiji was aware of that. He would be fine with their hostility, but school would be difficult because the only person he was attached to was gone. Starting over was nothing new for him, but it would feel hellish after having a taste of something different, something positive, having it taken away so abruptly without a chance to let it go.

While it wasn't comparable to Lamie's death, it was something close to it.

He watched ash fall from his cigarette, dashed onto the wooden slats of the porch. He stepped over it, streaking dark color over the weather-resistant paint.

Smoker finished his cigarette while Law was lost in these thoughts. He lit another one. "These things don't die so easily, kid," Smoker said, watching traffic flow. His voice became suddenly gentle. "Things happen as they do without anyone's control, but you can only tell yourself that you were lucky to experience it."

"Lucky?" Law repeated bitterly.

"Sometimes, even having a taste of something is all it takes to want that feeling again. These things aren't always a once a lifetime thing, kid. It can happen again and again, and – "

"Shut up, nothing you're saying is even important to what's happening now."

Smoker reached into his pocket and withdrew something white – a handful of tissue. Law stared at it blankly until he realized he was giving it to him for a reason. He hadn't realized his eyes were leaking of their own violation. He quickly wiped them, suddenly embarrassed for his own show of emotion. He hadn't done this in quite some time so it felt like once the feeling was recognized, it wouldn't stop. Because it was already in motion, there was no point denying it or pretending it wasn't happening. But he turned his attention to his shoes and kept focus there, watching tears hit the worn material.

"You did the right thing," Smoker repeated firmly. "He's safe, and that's all that matters. Judge has no foot in family court – not with Akainu at the helm. You know how much of a bitch he is."

Law heard the horror stories – while the name struck fear in those that found themselves in front of the judge, there were others that were eternally grateful for someone so unforgiving. That hole in his heart felt a little less raw – Sanji would be safe. Judge couldn't reach him in this way.

"Figuring on his personality, he's probably throwing a fit right now," Smoker mused, giving him some space to mourn privately. "Angry at you, at us, at everyone – probably coming up with all these scenarios on shoulda, woulda, couldas; I can hear that kid tossing words around with no weight. Being a teenager's hard with all these emotions and lack of understanding a bigger picture. But I wouldn't doubt, in a few days, he'll call you back with some better words. The way you two were carrying on, like everything was the end of the world, this would need some closure."

"Just because you're too old to even remember what the feeling was like," Law muttered, wiping his eyes. The smoke was irritating them, but the pressure was gone. It felt good to release it in company he could trust.

Smoker gave him a withering look, but he said nothing in retaliation.

"These things happen, and it's either drawn out to a crippled and painful ending, or it can be set on the shelf to grow and turn into something better," Smoker said. "Like wine. It gets better with age."

Smoker's words weren't helpful to Law. He was basically agreeing with Law's inner misery that this wonderful thing – something so honest and pure and exciting - was now dead. He didn't want to hear things getting better with age, that he'd find something or someone different. He didn't want to hear that, now. But it was something he knew was true and nothing could change it. Because even if Sanji was in a safe place, he was still gone – and time would find a way to interfere and change the things they had, and this thing wouldn't be the same because they wouldn't be the same. Much like the relationship he had with his parents.

"I'm sorry, kiddo," Smoker said gently. "I know that's not something anybody wants to hear. But things like this can't be overshadowed by any lesser thing – you had time to experience it and know it, and it was a wonderful thing. But it won't always be the only thing you will get to experience as you grow – you'll find more like this one. Just hold this one in your heart and keep it safe. You know what it felt like to be treasured – you can find it again when the time is right. Maybe not with this one, but with someone else. You've hit rock bottom already – the only direction you can go now is up. He helped you get this far, don't let what he did for you fall to waste."

After a few moments, Smoker added, "Though I'm guessing he'll forgive you no matter what, so instead of giving any excuse to allow a screw up with this in mind, make him forgive you for the right screw up."

Law put that away - because after the things he did to Sanji, Sanji forgave him. It would be harder to move on without the younger boy there to tell Law those wonderful things that he had along the way, but if Law could still hear his voice in his thoughts, then it would be fine. He had those memories to cherish and run off of for any future decision he'd make. Maybe to fully earn his forgiveness, he should stick to the plan – work his way forward because that was the only way to go. Smoker was right – he'd been scraping at rock bottom for years, and now that he was moving up, he should continue this.

Things weren't always forever, he knew this. Time would change him, would change Sanji – even if Sanji forgave him over the phone, they were still teenagers. They'd grow, experience, and live, and eventually forget about what they had because there were bigger things to find.

He wiped his eyes again, using his shirt to do so.

"Stay in school, kid, keep doing what you're doing. Don't let those turds draw you back down, this kid didn't get shuffled away just to let you fall to that. He did this for you," Smoker said, leaving the porch after picking up his filters.

Law knew he was right. Sanji didn't start changing and fighting with his family until Law came along, so if he let those Vinsmoke boys draw him back down into a corner that he'd just left, then he had to do right with it. He finished the last of his cigarette – it would be his last one.

Monday he headed to class with rising expectation in his chest. The atmosphere felt so heavy, the halls new again. He was listening for a voice that wasn't there, and it hurt to do so. Instead of going to class he headed towards Sanji's locker. He opened it, looking into items Sanji wouldn't touch again – all his textbooks, notebooks, extra supplies of pens and other odds and ends. His heart hurt just looking at it and knowing that they'd be discarded and forgotten. He found the notebook that Sanji used to write notes to him – their conversations of past encounters were in there. He grabbed that, flipped through it. He found notes from himself, notes they'd wrote on and passed to each other to reuse – it was a physical reminder of their past encounters and obstacles, and he remembered every moment that happened when he came upon one of Sanji's essays or To-Do lists. He took that and shut the door, holding the notebook like a piece of treasure. He looked up because he heard someone grunt, and took full brunt of Ichiji's attack. Ichiji's knuckles cracked over Law's cheekbone, pain exploding immediately as his head slammed back against the locker.

Both of them fell against the locker as Ichiji curled his fingers into his sweater, twisted his body and threw Law over his shoulder like a ragdoll. Law hit the floor with his breath leaving his chest because Ichiji followed him down and landed side position on his chest, forcing him to catch his weight. Law reached up to push Ichiji's face upward, his longer arms forcing the tactic as Ichiji made to swing a leg over his stomach. Law twisted to his side to prevent that, old fears returning with force with having a male atop of him. His strength was frightened instinct – Ichiji's was calculated tactic.

"This is your fault!" Law heard Ichiji hiss, the older Vinsmoke's eyes burning with hatred. "He wouldn't never strayed if it wasn't for you!"

The world spun as Law forced the distance, driving a knee up against the teen, connecting with the back of his head but Ichiji dipped low, arm curling behind Law's neck while the other reached for Law's opposite sweater lapel. Law realized how tight the fabric was around his neck – Ichiji was using his clothes to choke him, and he jerked backward in an attempt to get out of it while still on his side. In the back of his mind, Law was astounded at Ichiji's bold intentions – but the story of the rabbit came back to him at that moment, an unwanted picture of the teen with a shovel suddenly flashing over his eyes.

There was a day when Law was that rabbit – but he wasn't that, now. He bent his fingers and gouged into Ichiji's eyes, knocking his glasses aside to do so. He applied pressure and scratched, forcing Ichiji to jerk his head back, blood drawn by Law's fingernails. Law withdrew his hand and slammed a fist right into that bloodied mess, forcing Ichiji to jerk away. As they made to separate, Law grabbed Ichiji by his hair and pulled him down while he scrambled up to his feet. Ichiji reached out and grabbed his ankle to prevent him to moving away and as he did so, his legs ensnared around Law's left leg. Ichiji grabbed his right ankle and yanked while pushing down with his weight on Law's leg – because of the intense pressure to his knee Law went down hard, feeling Ichiji grab his opposite heel.

Law didn't know Ichiji's sport, so he didn't know what the teen intended on doing, couldn't identify the move – he just knew his knee was under intense pressure and it felt like it was going to snap backward as Ichiji twisted his heel hard with the crook of his elbow.

"Get off him!" Luffy shouted, jumping onto Ichiji, raining down punches. But Ichiji held on by some demonic strength, and Law grimaced because his ankle felt like it was going to snap at any moment – kicking him wasn't giving him any sort of give. Just before it felt like it was going to, Sabo landed atop of Ichiji and wrenched his hands from Law's ankle, slamming an elbow down onto his face. Law scrambled away stiffly, his leg and ankle making a getaway difficult, but Ace quickly yanked him to the side as Koala screamed for a teacher.

Niji slammed full force into Sabo, knocking him off Ichiji while Ichiji fended off Luffy's punches. Yonji jumped in to yank Luffy away from Ichiji, but Ace abandoned Law and slammed into Yonji, taking his actions as a threat. Sabo and Niji were punching and kicking at each other from the ground, kids forming a tight circle around them while yelling and hollering with a mix of support and excited cheer, teachers and the security guards scrambling to get through. Yonji easily tossed Luffy to the side, the lockers catching him, but Ace had him around the knees and was already driving him into the floor to bring him down. Once Yonji fell, the crowd erupted into roars.

Panting, Law searched for the notebook he'd taken from Sanji's locker. He found it, pulled it close as the guards finally interfered.

"You piece of trash!" Ichiji shouted at Law, bleeding from the scratches on his face. It dripped to his uniform garishly, his glasses nowhere to be seen. His expression was manic, looking strangely out of order. "You took him away from us! You filthy fucking prostitute! Faggot! You think this is over? You broke up our family!"

"Shut up, you psychopath!" Luffy hollered back at him, Garp making his way over with a startled expression. "You're a fucking psychopath! It's not his fault! You control freak!"

"Ichi, come on," Niji begged in an uncharacteristically quiet voice, looking at his brother with a troubled frown. "Not like this!"

"It's your fault! And for what? You're fucking nothing but used trash, you pathetic homo!" Ichiji continued to shout at him. "You ruined everything!"

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Garp bellowed over their rising shouts, kids dispersing reluctantly. "Vinsmokes, office! NOW! You boys, wait outside that fucking office!"

"What the hell is going on here?" Crocodile asked, not budging from his door. "Garp! This your doing?"

"You obviously just watched me walk over here," Garp told him.

"That guy attacked Trafalgar without provocation!" Camie shouted immediately. "He just attacked him without saying anything! I saw it, I was just standing here and saw it!"

"We saw those guys fighting first! It was Ichiji!"

"Ichiji did it first!"

"Ichiji was the one going mental!"

Upon the agreement of the kids around them, Garp reluctantly grasped both Luffy's and Sabo's arms, Ace following along behind him with a pout as the security guards ushered the Vinsmokes ahead. Law wasn't sure to follow, but because he was the focal point of the attack, he limped after them with notebook in hand.

Once the brothers were closed up within the principal's office, the counselor rushing in with a pale expression to shouts and flustered curses, Garp turned and looked at the four remaining behind. The brothers wore pouty expressions while Law willed his thundering heart back to normal volume. He hadn't expected the attack from the older brother – he had expected something more calculated and controlled. Some harassment, some threats – nothing physical to put Ichiji himself into risk with the authorities or with his own father. Seeing him lose control like that was like seeing a total stranger.

"You okay?" Sabo turned and asked him with concern. "Looks like he wanted to end your life!"

"Diabolical, using clothes like that," Ace added, eyes locked on Law's neck. He supposed he had some marks there – it now registered how tight his throat felt, but his adrenaline was still running. Nothing felt sore just yet.

"Where's Sanji, Law?" Luffy asked. "Sanji would've stopped it right there."

"Not that any of this excuses your actions!" Garp snarled at all of them, reaching out to whack the boys but catching himself quickly as they all cringed, expecting the attack.

It would come out eventually, Law supposed. Sanji was no longer here to explain himself, to give him support. Feeling the emptiness of the younger teen's absence was painful once more.

"He moved to his mother's," he mumbled in response, finding it awkward to talk to anyone that wasn't anyone he already trusted. He was starting over again, he supposed. His tongue felt heavy against his teeth, anxiety over trusting anyone with his impediment running through him and making him feel dizzy. "And they didn't like it."

The three turned to face him with mixed expressions of disbelief, Garp looking puzzled.

"Why?" Luffy cried, looking absolutely devastated. "Didn't he have a job? He has to work! He has to be there! Only he understood our appetites!"

"That's good, isn't it?" Sabo asked with concern.

"It's probably for the best, anyway," Ace said with a nod.

Law shrugged, holding the notebook tightly. It felt different speaking without Sanji present. His lack of confidence with these people and his impediment felt heavy all over again – not that the trio would mock him or make fun of him, he knew they wouldn't, but he lacked that security he'd felt with Sanji at his side to make it better. There were things he had to learn to do all over again without Sanji being there, and it felt like such an intense chore. He didn't want to do it, but he would have to. Because Sanji had done this for him, and he couldn't waste it.

He licked his lips anxiously, taking a breath before saying, "Because of them. So…they're angry at me. I don't care, but…that's what that was about."

"Why?" Garp asked.

"Smoker."

"Ah," Garp said with understanding, not needing anything else said. "Good guy to have on your side! Whatever's going on in there, if they want to make a scene of it, there's plenty of witnesses and the security cameras to make up for whatever shit they tried to sell. I don't think anything will happen now, so go to class and stop causing trouble!"

He stormed off into the office as the four looked on with discomfort. Sabo looked at Law, noting how tightly he held onto the notebook. He said, "I'm sure it was the best decision for him. Considering the things stacking up with their behavior over Sanji and yourself."

The subject was still so sensitive to Law. It would take awhile to learn to trust these guys with much of himself. He shrugged and limped towards class to avoid talking anymore on it, and the three watched him go. Luffy's face stretched with intense sorrow, lower lip trembling. He looked to Ace. "I'm going to miss him. Now who's going to pick on me on my way to gym? Who's going to give me something when he's busy causing trouble or smoking like a chimney?"

"I'm going to miss accidently hearing them talk sweet nothings to each other," Ace said with a sigh. "Now who's going to make me believe in love?"

Sabo rolled his eyes at both of them as they hugged each other, supporting the other as they walked to class. "On a serious note you guys, with the way that guy lost control over his brother's absence, there's still potential in something else happening while they're here. Ichiji wasn't kidding when he attacked Law – I think that's the very first time I saw someone try to deliberately kill someone."

"Let's not be overdramatic," Ace told him.

"It was unusual to see that one lose it like that," Sabo continued. "It's the quiet ones that should be watched carefully, isn't it? We knew he was a verbal threat only, but he really went for the jugular. His brothers were so shocked that they didn't do anything, at first. They weren't their usual monkey chatter when he attacked him."

"They weren't," Ace said uncomfortably, thinking about seeing Niji's and Yonji's stunned expression as they watched Ichiji attack Law. "They hesitated a bit. Only jumped in when we did. It was kinda weird."

Luffy sighed heavily once more as he trudged onto his class, the other two taking the stairway up to the second floor.

"It seemed like it happened suddenly, because Sanji was his usual self Friday," Sabo said thoughtfully. "So whatever happened did so over the weekend upon emergency. With him being oddly absent Thursday morning, Law worried over it, something happened drastically. If he was forced to his mother's, then I wonder if he was okay in the first place. He had a new cast."

"I guess it doesn't matter anymore if he's gone," Ace told him, rapping him atop of the head before veering off towards his class. "He's out of the picture, so he's safe."

Sabo nodded with reluctance, and headed towards his class as well. While understanding that Garp seemed comfortable with the name Law dropped as an explanation, his own curiosity burned from within him. The other teen seemed lost by himself - Sabo took it that whatever had happened with Sanji was a difficult one, but one Law seemed to accept with some confidence. He didn't seem as troubled as he did that Thursday morning when Sanji didn't show up with his brothers – just resolutely accepting. Whatever it was the pair of them had in common with each other had ended with Sanji's absence and Sabo felt sorry for the teen remaining behind.

: :

A month passed. The Vinsmokes were no longer attending Grandline High, which the school breathed with a huge sigh of relief. The atmosphere was lighter, now, and the hallways were seemingly filled with a more joyful attitude because of it. While rumors swept through the students with presumptions and stories, they were only rumors; after all, no one was that close to the brothers in the first place.

It felt quiet in first period, and while everyone chatted amicably amongst each other without fear of having any Vinsmoke attack them, Law was very aware of the empty seat behind him. He still hadn't heard from Sanji and his hope for his forgiveness was dying every day. Not big on positivity, Law was slowly convincing himself that Sanji would never contact him. With the way his family seemed to 'fall apart', maybe there were issues Sanji was dealing with that Law couldn't understand for himself.

Still, he couldn't help but worry that he'd one day see Sanji out and about with his brothers because sometimes even the system failed when it should have been counted upon; maybe he'd convinced others that things were overdramatized, maybe he'd lie about the pictures and heap on excuses as to why 'boys were being boys'. In a way he hoped to see him just to see him again; in another, he hoped Sanji stayed away, heartache be damned.

His relationship with his parents slowly continued to repair the rift through weekly family counseling sessions; his parents had stayed true to their words, and had him enrolled in speech therapy over the weekend, individual counseling due to past trauma every Wednesday. It was hard to settle into the routine because counseling seemed so invasive; the therapist was kind and gentle, and even if he slowly started opening up, he did so because she had the soothing presence of Sanji's own invasive ways of getting him to talk.

When they moved to their new house, Lorenzo kept their old number in the event that Sanji might call – while Law didn't talk much about how he felt, he had the sense that his parents understood his silence on the subject. He'd finally unpacked his bag, and used the gift cards to purchase more clothes. He was starting to fill out, now, had some of the confidence needed to groom and take care of himself; but admittedly, it was all in hopes of seeing Sanji again. He was slowly starting to emerge out of his protective shell but only cautiously; Smoker's words hung at the back of his thoughts and if this was the only way to pay Sanji back, then Law would do it.

It wasn't a miraculous turn around that happened overnight; he still locked his door, he still had some tension against Lorenzo, and Lainy still expressed frustration with Law's lack of bonding with them; but it was slowly coming along. Smoker popped in from time to time to check on Law's progress and give him encouragement, but he had nothing to say on Sanji because from what he knew of the case, it was still as it was. Judge Vinsmoke had been denied any contact to the boy and his mother, and it was left at that. Ichiji's violation of the temporary protection order had done some damage, and it was assumed that because of it the boys were transferred to another school.

Law thought he'd have a hard time adjusting to the boy's absence for a longer time but those D boys were just as invasive. Ace would sit outside with him during his smoke breaks and chat about random things while Luffy appeared with his friends during change of classes with some inane adventure or mission that often left Law flustered afterward, unwillingly participating in some social justice warrior event similar to the pad incident. Sabo would approach with questions on his homework and launch into something that involved thoughtful discussion, and Law slowly opened up to them because he felt he had no choice with their continued involvement. He kept telling himself Sanji would have wanted this for him.

One Sunday, as he was watching one of Lainy's guilty pleasures involving a famous family with too much money, the phone rang. She answered it while Law grumpily patted Panda's head and scratched his ears, Polar sitting near him with her tail lashing against the back of his head every so often. The animals had accepted him as part of the household, but it hadn't been that easy of a task to get Polar this close to him. She still scratched out at him whenever he passed by her and she growled whenever he spoke to her, but he still found her hanging out in his room or waiting for him when he came home from school.

Lainy called his name and he stood up from the couch, feeling Polar's claws catch on his shirt as he did so. After gently pulling away, he took the phone from her. Their new house was smaller than the last, and the phone was located in the living room closest to the den. While it was smaller, the pair had made it cozy, and while Law wasn't in any awe of it, it was a house that kept him warm during the cold nights and gave him a quiet place to think when school and therapy was too overwhelming. He answered because he thought Sabo was needing his help on a science mid-term study sheet and he still hadn't given his cellphone number out because the D boys loved sending memes to each other that were bothersome.

He gave a suffering greeting because Sabo had been stressing over his study sheet for a couple of days now, and it really wasn't something he could help with, considering he didn't even have the same class. Sabo just seemed to think Law knew more than he was letting on, and while the confidence was staggering, it wasn't something Law was confident in participating in, considering how much Sabo forced him to talk.

Once he heard the shaky exhale, Law's heart jumped. Because Lainy returned to watching her show, because he wasn't sure how the conversation would go, he said quickly, "Call me on this number."

After giving it, Sanji confirmed it and hung up. Law hurried off to his room as Lainy looked after him with a frown, wanting just a few seconds more to overhear what would sound like an interesting conversation. Once in his room, Law willed his heart to stop racing so hard, holding onto his cellphone with an anxious expression. The call came up under a number he didn't recognize, so he made the assumption that Sanji had a new cellphone.

"You finally have one of your own?" Sanji asked, and hearing his voice just made Law's very soul lift again. He wiped a sweaty palm on his pants, Polar meowing crankily from behind his closed door. Her paw appeared moments later, scraping just under the space between door and carpet.

"Yes," Law answered hollowly, despite the feelings he felt just hearing him.

"Um…I'm sorry it took me awhile to call," he heard Sanji mumble uncomfortably. Law could see him with a stubborn expression to his face, reluctantly admitting he was wrong. He could clearly see his head bent but his shoulders stiff, and he wished so much to see it in person that it hurt. "I was still really fucking mad, y'know? But things calmed down and I calmed down, so that's the end of it from me. What are you doing right now?"

Relief filled Law, like a whoosh of hot air.

"Watching tv," he answered stiffly – because working his mouth was hard when all he wanted to do was smile, and that would make the formation of words more difficult, and he wanted to concentrate on his speech development to show his trusted person that he had been working on it. "Some stupid show."

"Hey, that's what I was doing! Since I've been living here, I've now learned too much of women in all the wrong ways," Sanji told him with a heavy sigh. "I told Reiju I'm glad I'm gay because I can't handle that shit. I'm so embarrassed about the pad thing – she thought it was funny and leaves hers in random places in my room and jackets and sometimes when I take my wallet out – it's fucking cold out here! I've had to stock up on jackets and sweaters and how can that be when we're not that far away from there? It's a higher climate and the air tastes different – it's like fresh and cold and it makes me feel like I've never breathed oxygen ever. I've been so polluted by that city that it's coming out in my pores – hey, how's school? Are my brothers still there?"

Law had to catch his breath because Sanji spit out all his observations without taking a breath of his own. He wanted to see him so badly, but he was also afraid to at the same time. Mostly because every expression he felt would show on his face and he felt that Sanji's manic way of speaking was his own expression of his anxiety.

"No," he answered. "They were gone the first week after you. They violated the TPO."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Sanji sighed again. "Ichiji's so fucking psycho, so don't lie. I bet he tried to shank you or something, and spewed something gross about breaking up the family. Don't sugarcoat it, I lived with the guy for all our lives so I know how he is."

"I'm fine. How is it with your mom?"

"It's like living with myself! She's much different in person than she was over the phone! I don't know who freaks out more, her or me and Reiju is sick of our shit already! She can't go with us to emotional movies or anything like that, but…it's been good. And everything my dad said about her was a fucking lie! She isn't poor – she's fucking set. She works as a director out here for a domestic violence program, and dad has to pay her alimony anyway, he's such a fucking liar! She's strong and dedicated and dad had threatened that if she didn't move away, he would move us across the pond to Europe because of the custody order. I can't believe I lived under that roof of lies believing all this! Whatever, it's over with, things are over with – hey, I got my cast off, my arm is all withered and gross."

"I'm glad to hear that," Law said, still sorting out the information to process it individually.

"You sound different. Are you crying?"

"No."

"Whatever, I am," Sanji said, sniffling. "I miss you. I'm sorry I was so mad at you, it wasn't your fault. It took me a long time to understand that but you did the right thing because I don't know how dad was going to react that night. Yeah, things changed, but it was going to, anyway. It just happened sooner. It was a shock, I don't know how you did it because it was hard as fuck. Like, that night I tried to be like you and think for myself but I couldn't do it, and I ran away from Zeff because dad called him and was talking shit to him and – "

"Sanji, I miss you too," Law told him, blinking rapidly. "So much. It was hard adjusting to the fact that you weren't there anymore."

Sanji sniffled again, and Law could see him wiping his nose on his shirt. "I don't have allergies anymore, that's what made my nose run so much. This is actually me being a baby. I can't help it! It just happened once I heard your voice and you weren't mad at me for being mad at you."

Before Law could say anything, Sanji said, "And you're talking differently. Are you going to speech class?"

"Yes."

"Are you making friends at school?"

"…Yes."

"I can tell if you're lying to me so you better not be lying to me! I'll Friend those guys on Facebook and ask them, and if they say anything negative to what you're saying to me, I'll make a special trip up there to kick your ass! I don't want you lying to me like you did to Rosinante. Tell me the fucking truth."

"It's true," Law said with amusement. "There's no reason for me to lie."

Sanji sniffled again and blew his nose noisily. Law had to wipe his eyes, hearing Polar cry at the door, both paws digging underneath the door. The jingle of Panda's tags were heard as the dog joined the cat, giving a heavy sigh.

"We can still talk on the phone, you know," Sanji then said, his voice thick. "But it probably won't be the same."

It hurt to acknowledge that, but it was true. Neither of them could sugarcoat that fact.

"I mean, I wish I could be there, I'd do anything to do so, but…dad was getting weird. And Ichiji was fucking psycho, talking all that stuff, and…and things could've been worse, I guess. I just…I want to be there to see you grow, y'know?"

Law wished he was there, too. How easy life would be if he could just turn to Sanji after having a hard time at the therapist's office, or see him at school being free from his brothers' harassment; but things were difficult, now. They were in separate places for similar reasons and it felt to Law sometimes like Sanji was being punished. Hearing his voice now, Sanji sounded somewhat happy. He still seemed the same. But Law knew what it felt like to go to a new school to start all over, and he knew how Sanji was – was he still trying to please those around him? The younger boy had been removed from his home because he wasn't pleasing his father, so maybe Sanji carried that with him, still. Doing what it took to have others' approval of him.

They talked well into the evening, catching up with each other's lives. Gleaming each and every bit because the other wasn't there. By the time they reluctantly hung up for their respective families' dinner, it was obvious that this thing they had was forcibly ended. No matter how much they talked on the phone, they were still hours apart and growing in areas neither could be involved with. Smoker had been right, and what they had could be treasured and nourished in other ways. Without the other, they wouldn't have grown as they had individually. Despite the outcome, they were in better places.

Law could yearn and wish all he wanted, but it wasn't in his power to have Sanji close. Same with the younger teen – maybe one day as adults things could change, but they wouldn't be the same. Their lives would take them into separate places and change them into different individuals.

Half a year later, as life tended to do, things changed abruptly. Law learned that Rosinante had passed away nearly two months after he'd left Doflamingo; the loss of his brother had been hard for the prison guard, and he'd left the area under an air of scandal. Was Rosinante's death deliberately caused by neglect or was it natural? An investigation had been underway, but the man disappeared before anything could be learned. His status as a suspect followed after him long after he left town, and helpless rage built in Law, piling over the guilt and pain over not checking in with the man as he'd wanted to.

Depression fell over him after he'd learned of these things, found out only on accident when he'd overseen someone's newspaper. He was working part time at a caretaking facility, and seeing Rosinante's death drawn out as some daytime drama had been shocking for him. His phone calls to Sanji had been less and less as Sanji lived a new life without him, pulling in new friends and someone that sounded like a romantic interest. So these things piled up despite Lorenzo and Lainy's gentle interference, and counseling didn't seem to help. Prescribed anti-depressants took some time to adjust to, but he couldn't seem to keep his concentration.

His part time job was appreciated, and he was going to earn his GED – his grades were a hinder to keep him from walking across the stage with the rest of his class, so he would essentially finish school over the summer with the accumulation of credits that barely allowed him to pass. Lorenzo and Lainy were pushing him gently in the direction of med school, but Law didn't have the confidence for college with the way his high school years were ending.

He met a boy he knew from juvie, and his convincing affection was enough to pull Law away from his own heartache over Sanji's detachment, and he fell into an awkward relationship with that boy. It wasn't helpful nor was it that harmful, but he was a welcome distraction. Eustess Kid wasn't the greatest of influence but Law found him amusing and interesting, a far cry difference from Sanji, but it was enough because both of them knew what life was like being products of a broken home and watching the hours pass by from behind bars.

Eventually, Law left Lorenzo and Lainy behind – he had enough money to pay for a road trip out of state with this boy, whom his parents didn't really like but tolerated. He never came back, troubled by the collapse of his security and position in life. At the time it was okay because Sanji rarely called, and he couldn't, anyway, because his romantic interest was the jealous type and Law figured it was fine if this was how it ended. Eustess was the same, and while the idiot did his best to make Law happy, neither of them were standing on any sturdy ground. Eustess was a high school dropout working in various mechanical shops, already a heavy alcoholic with no regards to anyone else's security and concerns, but he treated Law preciously and Law needed that in someone who he felt was 'like him'.

Their adventures took them away from the city, and years passed in this fashion. Law's memories of Sanji faded into the back but there were some nights when he couldn't sleep when he would remember the teenager as he last saw him. He did wonder how Sanji was doing, but he refused to investigate for himself; it was a cowardly way of avoiding contact with him because he felt he fucked up what Sanji had did for him, and Smoker's reassurance that day on the porch was long gone. Sanji was better off without him, anyway, considering how Law had left town, and it was important to Law that Sanji remain 'pure' without his involvement.

Life had allowed him just a small moment where this wonderful thing he'd experienced was a gift after all the rotten things had happened. Like Smoker had said, he just had to treasure it. It was a reminder that there were good things capable of being caught for a moment as he lived life, and while his wasn't the same after that, he wasn't that scared, frozen person anymore. He'd grown into a cutting man with harsh words and a lazy confidence that was made stronger with whatever Eustess convinced him to experiment with. He occasionally checked in with his parents but would never reveal his location; he felt bad for having left them as he had, but what was done was done.

The person he was now wasn't the same as the one that was reunited with them, and he wanted to spare them that extra pain that must feel like failure. It wasn't their fault – they did their best with him, he acknowledged; it was just that he had been a fragile person back then, and losing Rosinante was the catalyst. Feelings he couldn't control, the weight of guilt – none of it could be soothed by any normal understanding. This was something he had to experience, to grow on his own. It took him away from everything that had felt safe but maybe that wasn't what he'd needed, then. Maybe it just had been time to learn who he truly was on his own.

Life was like that, sometimes.

A/N: Epilogue will be posted probably by tomorrow. Thank you to all who reviewed my last chapter! I will respond in the next – my word count almost this chapter impossible to load this time.