My Second Chance

Chapter XXXVI

=Normal POV=
[Friday, 8/31/2018; 3:30 pm]
[Berk; Haddock/Forger House]

The tour of the house was great; the friends were happy to see Hayden's place finally. Everyone was outside now as Hayden set up his computer and two speakers. Hayden plugged the laptop in and brought up his music player, starting the tunes for everyone to enjoy. Gabriel was talking to the adults while the young adult guests were enjoying the beverages and snacks that had been laid out on the table under the porch and next to the outside fridge.

"This is pretty cool, Hayden," Ford stated as Hayden came over to join them.

"What is?" Hayden asked.

"That you hosted an event we always do and had never been too," Hailey smiled.

"Well, you guys told me how it usually goes, so I used that to set everything up," Hayden shrugged.

"I love that you built an outside fireplace. Those of us who host use a campground style fire ring," Katie beamed.

"I didn't have one of those, and I find they are far too small when there's a big group like this," Hayden responded.

"True that," Alyssa nodded in agreement.

"Hey, you guys know what we should work on this year when we get the time to?" Trayden spoke up as they looked at him. "Something for the talent show, so we don't get stuck with the same problem as last year where someone used the same song we were gonna,"

"He's got a point. We got lucky as shit in changing the routine last minute and being able to follow along…" Mindy interjected.

"Well, I can't perform with you this year since I graduated…But I got an idea that can't be beaten or stolen…" Bryan offered.

"What would that be?" Hailey asked.

"Write a song," Bryan suggested. "Or maybe have Hayden teach you one of his. Well, if that's okay with him," he added. The group was quiet, debating the idea before looking at Hayden.

"Would you teach us any of the things you've made?" Trayden questioned gently. "Or maybe help us write something?"

"You wanna use my songs?" Hayden inquired.

"You're the only one of us who has pre-written and finished songs. And they are pretty amazing," Ford said.

"I've, uh, only shown you one…" Hayden reminded.

"But the point is that you have songs you could teach us…And they are written by you that no one else has heard and could steal. You get points for creativity…" Alyssa mentioned.

"And your music, at least, from the one we heard; is wicked inspirational..." Katie added. Hayden short of shrugged.

"I just happen to be good at conveying a strong message through song," Hayden responded.

"So…Will you help us?" Trayden hoped.

"Fine…" Hayden gave in as the friends cheered. "Now do you want a whole new song or something I've already done?"

"Depends on what you have," Trayden laughed.

"Oh, lad! You should teach them your military song. You know, the one remixed for Marines. Hope ya know a lot of my old comrades still use it to get hyped up for a mission," Gabriel chuckled.

"What one? The Warrior Song, Hardcore remix?" Hayden looked at him.

"YES! That's the one!" Gabriel exclaimed.

"Eh…I don't know, Uncle Gabe…Pretty sure the school wouldn't approve of a song that talks about straight up murder even if it's service members defending the island," Hayden mentioned.

"What about one of your anti-suicide songs that you been working on since June?" Gabriel offered.

"Those are…Kinda just for me the next time I hit one of my lower points…" Hayden muttered.

"But if they help you; they could help others too," Gabriel argued.

"You wrote songs that would help pull you away from suicidal thoughts?" Miya inquired as Hayden nodded. "Well, that's very good, Hayden," she smiled.

"I agree," Rachel nodded. "Musical therapy is one of many ways to assist in controlling those kinds of thoughts,"

"His psychiatrist suggested it back in July when he noticed how much calmer Hayden was while the radio was playing," Gabriel smiled.

"You've gone back seeing Dr. Anderson?" Syrus asked as Hayden nodded again.

"I-I said I would when school was out, and things were less hectic…" Hayden admitted.

"No, no. It's alright, don't be nervous, sweetheart. That's a good thing…Is it helping?" Felicia wondered.

"Well, we're still working on actually talking about things other than what was stated during the session at the hospital, which Trayden was with Hayden to get him to speak at all. But we're making a little progress on the matter where everything started," Gabriel informed.

"Healing takes time, Gabriel," Rachel said gently. "It doesn't matter how long it takes as long as he's working at it little by little with a speed where he's comfortable. And it's best to tackle one thing at a time," she added. "And it's progress if music during sessions helps Hayden stay calm. And using that same method at home can be just as effective. That's very good,"

"So you use the music to pull you back, remind you where you are, and that suicide isn't your only option out of the pain?" Trayden asked, looking at Hayden now, surprised and proud of him.

"It wasn't my psychiatrist who gave me the idea…He said it, but I was already using it because of you, Tray," Hayden admitted.

Trayden's eyes widened a little. "M-Me?" he asked as Hayden nodded.

"Whenever…I'm feeling upset and down; I-I remember what you told me at the hospital," Hayden replied. "When you said that I needed to find one thing that keeps me here and hold onto it…That I'm not alone and have my family and friends here, who don't want to lose me. The thing I'm holding onto is all of you…You were right…If I was meant to be dead; I would be already. Even me trying to kill myself three times has failed because people jump in and immediately stop it, so I'll keep living," he confessed.

"And the anti-suicidal music was inspired by you always to know that there are other ways to deal with the pain if I keep holding on. It…Grounds me, keeps me here so my suicidal thoughts don't take over and I end up stop thinking clearly," Hayden added after taking a short breath.

"I-I inspired all that?" Trayden questioned, shocked now. Probably as much as everyone else was at Hayden's confession that Trayden's words when he went to see Hayden in the mental hospital back in June had caused Hayden to do all these things to help himself. And the truth was that Trayden is the one who inspired such suicide prevention ideas, so really; it was Trayden who was helping Hayden the most here.

Hayden nodded. "You did," he said. "I won't use music forever, but at least until I get past everything in my sessions…It works as a temporary fix," he mentioned. "I've…Got one song that I wrote recently and just finished that works well…Do you wanna hear it?"

"Absolutely," Trayden nodded, smiling a bit. He couldn't believe that he helped Hayden this much. Hayden moved over to his laptop and started scrolling through the songs until he found and clicked on it. The previous song stopped, and the new one began.

"Well, I know the feeling, of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge. And there ain't no healing, from cutting yourself with the jagged edge. I'm telling you that; it's never that bad. Take it from someone who's been where you're at. Laid out on the floor, and you're not sure you can take this anymore…" Hayden began lightly. At first, the song didn't sound like anything remotely close to Anti-Suicidal, but as Hayden got through the opening verse; everyone started seeing what the message could be.

"So give it one more try with a lullaby, and turn this up on the radio. If you can hear me now; I'm reaching out to let you know that you're not alone. And if you can't tell; I'm scared as hell cause I can't get you on the telephone. So just close your eyes…Well, honey here comes a lullaby. Your very own lullaby," the music lightened again. Trayden already noticed how powerful and inspirational this kind of song could be; he was proud of Hayden for writing it, and not being scared of sharing it with him, or the others.

"Please let me take you, out of the darkness and into the light. Cause I have faith in you; that you're gonna make it through another night. Stop thinking about the easy way out; there's no need to go and blow the candle out. Because you're not done. You're far too young. And the best is yet to come," Hayden's eyes fell on Trayden only, and it made Trayden wonder why. Was it because Trayden had inspired Hayden to write music that could effectively keep him from going off the deep end again?

"So just give it one more try with a lullaby, and turn this up on the radio. If you can hear me now; I'm reaching out to let you know that you're not alone. And if you can't tell; I'm scared as hell cause I can't get you on the telephone. So just close your eyes…Well, honey, here comes a lullaby. Your very own lullaby," things lightened more as Hayden took a breath, but his eyes never left Trayden's, and the eldest Raseri child found a smile upon realizing the answer to the question he'd asked himself about why Hayden was only looking at him.

"Well, everybody's hit the bottom. Everybody's been forgotten. Well, everybody's tired of being alone. Yeah, everybody's been abandoned and left a little emptyhanded. So if you're out there barely hanging on…" Hayden smiled a little at Trayden now, a softness in his eyes as he did so while the music picked up once again.

"Just give it one more try with a lullaby, and turn this up on the radio. If you can hear me now; I'm reaching out to let you know that you're not alone. And if you can't tell; I'm scared as hell because I can't get you on the telephone. So just close your eyes…Well, honey, here comes a lullaby. Your very own lullaby," (Song used was Lullaby by Nickelback.)Hayden finished, and the music faded off, and then changed to something else that Hayden quickly shut off and changed the music back to the party playlist he had set up earlier in the week.

"What was that one?" Katie asked.

"Not finished yet; it's only the music, which is also incomplete until I get my instruments unpacked," Hayden said. "It was something for my parents…Never got around to picking it back up,"

"I'm sure you'll finish it when you're ready to," Trayden offered calmly. "But that one you did now, that was a great song. Maybe one day you'll show me all of them?" he asked.

"Never know," Hayden shrugged. "Now, this is a party, so let's do that," he told Trayden.

"Oh, we will," Trayden chuckled as they joined in with the rest of the others.

. . .

[7:00 pm]

Everything was great, and everyone was having a good time. Awesome music, food, drinks, and friends. People were eating, chatting, dancing a little. Hayden was having a wonderful time with everything; it was fun. However, it was nagging at Hayden to tell Trayden how he felt. Hayden didn't know why he was hesitating so much, likely fear of Trayden possibly getting mad that Hayden still wasn't ready to pursue a relationship because of the past with Bradley.

"Hayden," Gabriel called as Hayden looked over to his Godfather. "I just walked the parents out. You kids should start setting up your tents; it's getting darker,"

"Okay!" Hayden replied; he got so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed his friends saying goodbye to their parents and what not. Also, Hayden noticed that it looked like Gabriel and the older adults put away all the food before leaving.

"So, we just set up around the fireplace?" Bryan inquired.

"Yeah, that's fine," Hayden smiled as he went into the garage around the side of the house and grabbed his tent, a smaller three-person one that was in a brown bag, but the tent itself was green and gray. Hayden got to work setting it up with ease. After setting down his pad for a little extra comfort against the hard ground, he rolled out his sleeping bag and set his pillow at the door of the tent. That was just how he liked to sleep, his head closest to the door.

Trayden set up his black and gray tent next to Hayden's and the rest going around was just about done too. As Hayden could see; Bryan and Alyssa were sharing, so were Rylee and Evan, Katie and Andrew, and Devon and Miya. Ford, Tyler, and Syrus were sharing, and so were Hailey and Alicia. This was because Devon didn't Hailey sleeping with Ford, and Syrus and Silas said no to Alicia sharing with Tyler. Hayden grabbed the stuff to start the fire, and everyone began to start changing into their pajamas and relax in the chairs around the fire that was burning bright and throwing off a good amount of heat.

Hayden still had the music going, but it was turned down and playing less heavy stuff due to what time of night it was. Everyone was relaxing, still chatting about random shit. Hayden wanted to talk to Trayden, but not draw attention to why they were heading off to the side to speak alone.

"Hah! I figured it out!" Trayden suddenly announced with a smile.

"Figured what out?" Devon asked.

"Hayden's middle name! I think I got it," Trayden said, looking at Hayden now.

Hayden smiled with a slight laughed. "Alright, go ahead," Hayden invited.

"Horrendous," Trayden stated as Hayden's eyes widened.

"Where in the name of Odin did you come up with that as a middle name, Tray?" Syrus rolled his eyes.

"That can't be Hayden's middle name. No one would ever-," Hailey began.

"It is, though," Hayden interjected as they looked at him. "My full name is Hayden Horrendous Haddock the Third," he stated.

"That's right. Hayden comes from a long line of Horrendous Haddock's dating back to the Viking Age," Gabriel nodded. "Hayden is a descendant of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the First," he smiled.

"Wow…There's a bunch of history about all that we get to cover next year," Ford clapped excitedly. "I knew there was a reason the Haddock last name sounded familiar outside of Spencer Haddock being the former Chief of Barbarchi Isle Police!"

Hayden flinched a little bit at the use of the word; former. "You are correct, Ford. Hiccup the First ended the first Dragon War in the Barbaric Archipelago; the very location where we reside now. Back in the day; these towns were separated islands with Viking Tribes who were plagued by dragon raids. Hiccup the First saved Dragons and Vikings. A thousand years later, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third stopped the second Dragon War that had been going on for three hundred years since the Vikings first sailed to these lands," Gabriel explained.

"Hiccup the Third saved and trained the legendary Night Fury; the dragon was known as the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself. Instead of killing a dragon, Hiccup taught the Vikings to ride and train them after defeating Red Death and restoring the peace that his ancestor Hiccup the First had created. The entire Haddock Family descends from royalty. Hiccup Haddock the Third's father, Stoick the Vast Haddock, was Chieftain of the Hairy Hooligan Tribe to the Isle of Berk. And Hiccup became Chief himself at the young age of 20 after his father was killed by someone who wanted to start another war, ushering in a new age for dragons and humans,"

"Somewhere in the generations, though, the Horrendous part stopped getting used until Hayden Haddock the First; then there was another gap before Hayden Haddock the Second, who is Hayden's Great Grand Uncle. But all of them descend directly from Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the First," Gabriel informed.

"It suddenly makes sense to me why you said you wanted to be a dragon trainer. Because your ancestors were," Trayden chuckled a little. Hayden blushed, nodding.

"I still think they exist somewhere in the world, just hiding from those who wouldn't understand," Hayden admitted. "The How To Train Your Dragon movies were based on those old Viking times, following the story of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third and Toothless the Night Fury; their unbreakable friendship that changed the world for humans and dragons everywhere," he smiled. "Haven't you ever seen them?"

"Sadly...No. But I really want to now," Trayden confessed. "Maybe...We can make a weekend out of it?" he asked curiously.

Hayden nodded slowly. "I-I'm sure we could," he agreed.

"Wow…That's pretty cool. Did you know all this Hayden?" Alyssa asked.

"Part of my family history…So yes. And you know that you all descent from Vikings too, don't you? Like...Your family names are in the movies, TV, and Netflix series..." Hayden informed. "But all that aside for a second…Tray, how did you figure out my middle name without ever asking me anything?" Hayden wondered.

"Simple…You gave it to me. It took a while for it to hit, but I realized that you said it right to my face when I first asked you what the H stood for," Trayden chuckled.

"I did?" Hayden blinked.

"Don't you remember? You said; It's horrendous," Trayden laughed a bit.

"Fuck…I did say that, didn't I? Hayden muttered.

"You also said that if Trayden figured it out, you'd kiss him as his prize," Tyler snickered with the others. Hayden instantly blushed a little, casting his eyes down nervously.

"Cut it out," Trayden told them as they stopped and even Hayden looked at Trayden a little. "He doesn't have to kiss me; it was just a harmless joke," he smiled.

"Yeah, but-," Alicia started.

"I said; it's fine. Hayden doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to or isn't comfortable doing; I'd never make him do something," Trayden said firmly. However, as Trayden was checking his phone after saying that; Hayden grabbed the front of Trayden's shirt. "What's-," Trayden started, surprised at the action; then Hayden leaned in and pressed his lips to Trayden's in a kiss. Trayden blinked a few times, but he closed his eyes and kissed Hayden back.

The action only lasted five seconds before Hayden opened his eyes and pulled back; then Trayden did the same while Hayden let go of his shirt. The circle of friends and Gabriel were silent, wide-eyed with shock. Hayden had a deep blush on his face as he kept his head down at first before standing up and walking past the chairs. No, this needed to happen; Hayden couldn't stay quiet anymore.

"Tray? Will you come with me, please?" Hayden asked.

"Sure," Trayden replied as he got up and followed a few steps behind Hayden into the house. Hayden closed the sliding door once they were inside, and he quietly led Trayden to his bedroom, closing that door once Trayden came in. "What's, uh…What's going on?" Trayden inquired.

"I think we should talk," Hayden stated, facing Trayden now with a soft look in his eyes. However, Trayden could see that Hayden was also nervous, so whatever this was about; Trayden had to stay calm and listen to whatever Hayden had to say.