Friday Night Sleep Over:
It was a long week and every time I turned around Ricky and Kelly were together. I finally got Adrian to back off and now I have Kelly. During school she is always there and from what I heard she is at the butchers shop everyday too. It is kind of creepy but I decided I couldn't dwell on it. Ricky was at his house tonight and he was having people over to watch movies and play video games. Well Grace was coming over in about ten minutes. John had just gone to sleep and I was sitting in the living room after getting my pajamas on. School has been simple and work is good, I still want to cry every time I leave John but I guess I am doing a little better. I was just thinking about Ricky when Grace came in.
"Hey momma" she said and I had to smile she was so much better than a couple months ago.
"Hey Grace" I said
"What's up?" she asked
"Nothing, but let's talk about how this Kelly chick is everywhere my boyfriend is." I said
"I noticed that, but I didn't want to upset you more. I think she is worse than Adrian." She said
"That is what I am saying and I have been nice, but I am at a loss. Ricky says she is just a friend but you can tell she wants more. She wants him to be with her, and I can't say anything to Ricky because he will think I am just getting jealous again. I mean he is not doing anything out of the ordinary and I trust him, but I don't know what to do." I said
"Have you told him everything you told me?" she asked
"Yeah and the first day we met her, I told him. I even told him I wonder if we rushed into this and he told me he loved me and we would be okay she is just a friend. It is just things have been different you know. At school he is more distant and than at home he is fine. I feel like he is trying to pull away from me, and I have never been at more of a loss. You know I told you with Adrian she had the power to rip us apart and she almost did. I feel like now Kelly has the power and it is working because she is perfectly sweet in front of Ricky and than when it is just us she is a little ridiculous. She is giving me dirty looks. Do you know she doesn't even know about John? Everyone knows about John because Ricky usually tells everyone and he hasn't mentioned him once." I said
"Why would she be after him though Amy? You have to admit that it doesn't make sense" Grace said
"I don't know why she is so set on getting Ricky, but I know he is hot and girls love him but beside Adrian who knows him no one else has made an attempt like this." I said
"Does she know you from somewhere?" she asked
"Not that I am aware of, she is in the band but she is a year younger so I don't think I did anything to hurt her." I said
"I really don't know, maybe she just likes the chase the whole you want what you can't have." She said
"Maybe but why Ricky, unless she knows someone that Ricky has hurt and now she wants to hurt him by trying to break us up." I said
"That could be it like maybe she is someone's sister or cousin" she said
"What if she is Adrian's cousin and that is why she wants Ricky and I apart. I have beat Adrian, I got Ricky and I have his love, and his child, and by sending in someone I don't know to break us up. I get hurt and she can pick up the pieces." I said
"That would make the most sense." She said
"I just don't know, maybe I am reading into more than there is because I want to believe it is some big plot before I think that he will leave me." I said
"Maybe they are just friends, Amy where is all this coming from?" she asked and I got up and walked to the window.
"I am scared, no I am terrified I am going to lose him. I feel like she is so much better and he will see what she has to offer and I will lose him." I took a deep breath "I feel like she is everything that I am not. She has no responsibilities; she can do what she pleases and not have to think of what will happen next. She can stay out late and make mistakes and no one will care. I can't do that, because I have a baby. I have to be responsible and I have to think before I act. I am okay with my life, but what if Ricky isn't. Maybe he wants someone who can be young and fun. I am 15 Grace, but I can't act like it. I have to think about John. I need to think about what I am doing to provide the best life for him. I have stretch marks on my stomach and I am not the perfect height, I am lanky and she isn't; she is beautiful. I just wish I could be what he needs. I can't tell if he is happy anymore. We have the old ease we use to when we were friends but he used to call me every day just because or text me, now I don't know." I said with tears.
"Maybe you should talk to him maybe it is not as bad as you think and you are just seeing the worst because you are known to prepare for the worst." Grace said and than there was a knock on the door. I looked out and seen Kelly. I was shocked
"It is her hide behind the door don't make a sound" I told her and she went and did as I said and I took a deep breath wiped my eyes and than opened the door.
"Kelly, this is a surprise; what can I do for you?" I asked as politely as I could
"I want you to stay the hell away from Ricky" she said
"Excuse me? You want me to stay away from my boyfriend why would that be?" I asked
"He doesn't want to be with you" she said
"I am sorry but you know nothing about mine and Ricky's relationship, I would appreciate it if you don't interfere" I said
"I know all about your relationship, and he isn't with you because he loves you, he is with you because you had his kid. He hates that you are so clingy and that you never want him to do anything with anyone beside you. He misses his old life Amy, he told me. He misses Adrian" she said
"How do you know Adrian?" I asked
"You mean you haven't figured it out yet. I am her cousin and she has been very upset because Ricky is with you. She wants him back and I wouldn't mind having him either." She said
"I love Ricky and Ricky loves me and we have a son together. I am not going to stay away from him because you told me to" I said
"Well than we play the hard way." She said "See you at school." And she walked off when I closed the door. I just started crying. I knew there was some kind of catch I knew this was going to happen.
"Amy come on, come sit on the couch" Grace said and I followed her
"Grace, how am I supposed to do this?" I asked
"How did you know?" she asked
"I don't know, because it didn't make sense. You know she walks up to him on the first day of school, and she flirts. Why him, I mean yeah she wants him but there was more, she was too close, and the only person I could think of that was that way was Adrian but I didn't think she would go this far." I said still crying
"Well you were right so now what?" Grace said
"I don't know how to do this. I fight for him again or do I let go" I asked
"Are you ready to let go?" Grace asked
"I love him Grace, I love him so much but how can I keep doing this. I am so tired of fighting for his love. I am so tired of feeling like this. I am tired of hearing these people telling me he is only with me because of John. Grace how does she know what Ricky and I talked about the other day? Maybe he needed someone to talk to and she was it. I just don't know how to let him go." I said crying when my phone rang. I tried to stop crying when I answered but you can still tell I was crying
"Hello?" I answered
"What's wrong?" it was Ricky
"If I told you, I don't know if you will believe me" I whispered
"Amy, Kelly just showed up here crying her eyes out saying that you called her every name in the book and that you said she had to stay away from me. I told her I couldn't see you doing that. Want to tell me what happened?" he said and he wasn't accusing me, but he needed to know.
"Are you with the boys?" I asked
"No they left" he said that's when I looked at the clock and realized it was eleven thirty
"I know it is late but do you think you can come over here?" I asked
"I will be there in ten minutes, will you tell me why you are crying when I get there?" he asked
"Yes, be careful Ricky. I love you" I said
"I love you too" he said and hung up and I turned to Grace.
"She went to his house and told him that I called her every name in the book and that I told her to stay away from him" I said
"What did he say" she asked
"He said that he couldn't see me doing that, and asked me to tell him what happened." I said
"Are you going to tell him everything?" she asked
"I don't know if he will believe me but yeah. Do you think we can postpone the sleepover till tomorrow because if we start talking it will take awhile and I don't want you to get bored?" I said
"Yeah I am going to go now." She said and hugged me "It will be okay" she said and walked out the door I followed her to the door and watched her walk in the house and than I shut my door and sat on the couch. I don't know how Ricky was going to react but if he doesn't trust me than that will be the end. I can't keep doing this. I was still crying when I heard the door open and I turned to see Ricky he locked the door and came over to me and I fell into his arms crying hysterically.
"Baby what is going on, is everyone okay?" he asked
"Everyone is fine, except for me" I said
"What is wrong with you?" He asked
"Just tell me you love me one more time please." I begged
"I love you baby, you know that. What has you this upset?" he asked pulling me onto his lap which just made me cry harder into his shirt. He kept whispering that every thing would be okay and I just didn't know if it was true. He was rubbing my back and after five minutes I pulled away and tried to get off his lap but he pulled me back down
"Stay here. Something obviously got you this upset and I don't want to let go." He said
"You are going to be mad at me" I said
"Tell me what is going on and we can see what happens" he said I took a deep breath and nodded
"Kelly was here; Grace and I were having a sleepover you know and talking about how I felt about Kelly. I told her what I was going to tell you tomorrow. I felt like Kelly was coming in between us, when we are at school you are distance. You were always much more physical holding my hand, kissing my head, arms around my waist and now it is not even a kiss but at home it is fine. I didn't even here you talk about John to her which is weird because we brag about John all the time. I felt like you didn't want her to know about our life. Remember that day when I was pregnant with John and you and Adrian were fighting and you didn't want to talk to me about it, and you pulled me into the band room and I told you I felt like she was ripping us apart that is how I feel with Kelly." I said still crying
"Amy I didn't even realize I was doing that, just say something don't bottle it up. I hate seeing you like this." He said
"I wasn't finished Ricky, I was telling Grace that maybe it was me you know. Maybe I wasn't enough. I am so grown up in a sense because I have John so I can't be fun and wild like Kelly. I have to think everything I do through because I can't make a mistake because I have a son to take care of. I can deal with that and I thought maybe you couldn't and she was more appealing. I am terrified to lose you but I don't know how to keep doing this. I know most of it is me and I am feeling inadequate but I am so used to when you would just text me just because or call me everyday. I feel like I am not good enough and than I was trying to understand why she is so dead set on being friends and getting to you. We made up things she could be this, or that and I actually told Grace maybe she was Adrian's cousin you know. I really just wanted to see the worst so that you wouldn't leave me. Grace told me to talk to you and I planed on it tomorrow." I said
"Amy I love you, Kelly is just someone to talk to nothing serious, I thought you said you were going to trust me." He said
"I do trust you, it was her I don't trust. You don't see what I see in you. I see and amazing, smart, funny, romantic, sweet, guy, you are the best father to my son and that is more than I can ask for. I see it and others see it too. I knew that Kelly was going to run to you after she left here and I was so scared you were going to take her side. I told Grace I didn't know if I should fight or let go. Grace asked if I was ready to let go. I told her that I love you, that I love you so much, but I am so tired of feeling like this." I said
"Don't let go Amy" he said I kissed his cheek
"When Kelly was here Grace hid. I wanted to see what she wanted, I was nice actually I said it was a surprise to see her, and she told me to stay away from you. I asked why I would and she said he doesn't want to be with you. I told her she didn't know anything about our relationship and I would appreciate it if she didn't interfere. She told me she knows all about our relationship, and you aren't with me because you love me, that you are with me because of John. She said you hate that I am clingy and I never want you do anything beside be with me. That you miss your old life and Adrian, and I asked how she knew Adrian and she said that it is her cousin. She said Adrian wants you back and she wouldn't mind having you either. I told her you love me and I was not staying away and she said we will play this the hard way. Than she left and I started crying. Did you tell her about our fight on Monday?" I asked still crying
"Oh Ames, of course I didn't. She probably just played on what she seen" he said while holding me tighter.
"You believe me?" I whispered
"You thought I wouldn't?" he asked
"I thought you would take her side and that would be the end of us. I am so tired of people telling me that you are with me because of John and that you don't love me and I try not to let it get to me Ricky, but I am so sick of hearing it." I said crying
"Oh baby, everything is going to work out. I am sorry I acted like an idiot and made you feel this insecure about us. I am not leaving and I am sorry that you thought I was." He said
"I am just so glad you are here now" I said curling in his lap and kissing his cheek.
"How did Kelly know where I lived?" Ricky asked me
"Adrian" I said
"We need to do something about this because I am so sick of seeing you this upset about what others are telling you baby. You are mine and I want you forever and if I am not doing a good job showing you, I want you to tell me." He said
"I can do that, and I will let you know when I am feeling insecure too." I said "So what do we do about Kelly?" I asked
"We ignore her and kick her out our lunch table." He said
"Or we show her, that you love me and that we are a united couple. When she makes rude comments about one the other sticks up for each other, we show her that she can't break us because we love each other." I said
"I like that idea" he said
"I am really glad you came over" I said
"I can't believe what a mess our lives are turning into" he said
"We stopped it though" I said
"How was John tonight?" he said
"He was tired; he went to bed right before Grace got here at like seven so he should be waking up in the next half hour." I said and Ricky started kissing my neck. I had got the okay from the doctor to resume physical activities and I also started my birth control about 6 weeks ago. They recommend taking it for 3 months before you start having sex with no condoms so in another six weeks, I will be fully protected we are still going to use both but, I want to make sure I don't wind up pregnant again.
"Stop, don't start something we can't finish" I said to Ricky who just sighed
"Amyyyyy" he whined, he was such a baby sometimes
"Oh stop, you just got it last night. You lasted 4 months without it before." I said
"We don't ever have to do it again, as long as I got you." He said and I smiled
"You are so corny but I love it" I said and I laughed
"Why don't we go lay down and John can wake us up when he is ready" he said and we walked into my room and got into bed and cuddled
"What happened when Kelly went to your apartment?" I asked
"I opened the door and she was crying, I told her to sit and got her a glass of water, she told me what happened. I told her that it didn't sound like you and she said you were so mean. I told her I would talk to you and call her later and I sent her on her way. I called you and you know the rest." He said
"Can you text her." I asked
"Here you do it" he said and he handed me his phone I opened it up and went to Kelly's name in his phone. I read all the messages and seen how many times she called him
"She is annoying" I said
"Tell me about it" he said laughing and so I typed out a message
To Kelly, From Ricky:
I talked to Amy, I don't like liars
stay away from Amy and my son.
I pressed send and showed Ricky the message and he laughed and than snuggled with me. About five minutes later I herd John crying and Ricky got up to get him. So my Friday night sleep over didn't go as planned but it was still a success if I do say so my self.