Ok. So I'm back…And I'm back with a vengence. Ok. So you must all be thinking, where have I been for the past 4 months?? Well to leave out all the random, weird, chaotic, crazyness…I've been extremely busy. Suffered from the occasional writers block also. But Im back…with another double chapter diary entry…Next entry should be up tomorrow. I hope you like this chapter. Enjoy!

The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss. - Unknown

Wednesday 19th January 2005 - 8:15pm

Dear Diary,

When Charlie announced this morning that I would have to share half my afternoon with Dr Call-Me-Carrie Slater, I expected it to be anything but enjoyable. Bearable, Tedious…Suicidal even, but not enjoyable.

He'd dropped it like a bombshell, when I was rushing out the door to get to school. It was half an hour until school actually started, but I couldn't wait to see Edwards face as soon as possible.

"Someone seems happy." He said, as I practically skipped down the stairs. Was it that obvious. Am I that obvious. It had been playing on my mind all night. I had hardly slept a wink. Not that I minded. For once in my life, I felt belonged, normal…I sympathised with every rom-com movie, I've ever seen. I felt like singing…If that were even possible. Something in my life, was almost worth living for.

I literally swung round the banister to see him. Something possessed me inside to kiss him lightly on the cheek, before heading to the door. I hadn't done something as crazy as that since…well since I can really remember.

But just as I was heading out the door, something had to ruin my perfect day.

"Before I forget Bells, we have a meeting with Dr Slater today at Forks Hospital. Thought I'd pick you up before lunch, go get a Chinese at the Golden Gate." He smiled awkwardly at me, as if hoping I'd agree.

What was I meant to do. I couldn't exactly tell Charlie, that I didn't want to go to some crappy little Chinese and then a meeting with Dr Slater because I wanted to endure a biology lesson, with the man I loved. A little too deep perhaps.

So I merely nodded and trudged through the door. I seemed like the end to my perfect day. Fantastic…typical life of Isabella Marie Swan.

It was like those little words, made everything come flooding back to me. For the past 24 hours I'd been absorbed in my perfect little world. The reality of it was, I was still a mute, I was still a freak, my best friend was still dead and there was no way in hell Edward Cullen could be in love with me.

I observed myself in the rear mirror. I looked at my pasty complexion, my greasy mousy hair, my dull muddy brown eyes - I was hardly Miss Beauty Queen 2005. And then I compared to my memory of Edward, his russet bronze hair, his deep onyx eyes, his beauty so inhumanly defined it was like the sweetest of chocolates to the mind. Even If I wasn't the way I was, how could I possibly be equal to him. Even if in some ludicrous could happen and he could actually love me back, I didn't deserve him. He deserved someone beautiful, intelligent…normal. All of which I don't possess.

I now noticed the burden, I could have been to Edward. It didn't seem fair to him. He was already wrongly marked an outcast at school, I would no doubt drag him popularity further down the drain. He didn't deserve that…I was ultimately not worth it.

I drove to school even slower than usual. For some reason I was just in a foul mood. I mean all Charlie was doing was taking me out of class for a few hours…and yet it was practically driving me crazy. As selfish as it sounded all I wanted was Edward.

I sat in my car for an unbearable long time, I lay on my steering wheel thinking of some excuse to how they…although whoever they are I'll never know…would say: "lay Edward off". It kept playing in my mind over and over. I didn't deserve him. I couldn't.

No one deserved to be burdened with a freak.

But as I thought and thought…the harder it seemed to even contemplate on the idea. Edward made me happier, in ways that I haven't felt for years…in ways that I've never felt. Part of me wanted to go run out that damn truck, find Edward Cullen and kiss him senseless. My more quixotic side, was obviously starting to take over.

I was helpless. It was like some little girls fantasy. I mean, how hard was it to stay away from someone? But the very thought of it, nearly brought me to tears.

One little voice in my head was saying to me: "Leave him Bella, before he gets too involved. You don't want to ruin his life."

Yet another was preaching to the skys: "Bella you're in Love!"

I knew which was indefinitely louder.

And as it seemed again I was making the selfish decision.

"Stupid…Stupid…Stupid…Stupid"

And then there he was…

"Bella is there any reason you're banging you're head against the steering wheel of your chevy." He mused, chuckling privately to himself.

I scowled but couldn't help smile inwardly to myself. That smile…

I guess I must have been staring a tad too long, as he replied.

"Bella do you plan to remove yourself from ones truck before noon?"

I rolled my eyes, if only to amuse him once more. The feeling that I'd have to leave him this afternoon, felt more like I was leaving him for a hundred years. My heart felt burning like a raging fire in side of me.

I quickly got my "mystery book", as I'd secretly become accustomed to naming it, out from my satchel and quickly scribbled him a note. I had barely the energy to give it to him.

But I couldn't help see the sadness in his eyes, when he read that I wasn't to be with him in Biology today. I couldn't have imagined that could I.

He took my eye, as he gently helped me from the truck. I felt like a princess being escorted to a royal ball. I snorted at the thought. Edward noticed immediately, but he merely smiled too bemused by his own thoughts.

The rest of the day didn't seem necessary. In fact I barely paid attention to it. Apart from those brief encounters with Edward between classes, I was back to an endless blur. Lauren for once, seemed to be ignoring me. In fact so did everyone else. I couldn't help but feel slightly at piece with Forks High School.

Charlie came and collected me before lunch. He parked in the parking lot and waited for me. So there wasn't any chance of embarrassment, not that It would have affected much of my low social status anyway.

The moments before were something that little bit more spectacular…

Edward had some how found me, just as I was walking out of school. He wasn't running but he suddenly caught up with me in seconds.

"Bella." He said. He was smiling, but there was something quite different…almost promiscuous about his smile, as he spoke.

He was stood so much closer, than he'd ever done before. I felt like I could memorise every feature of his flawless face, I could feel his own breath against mine.

I let the irrationality of the moment take over me. I leant in further and further and he did nothing to even try to stop me.

Our noses were almost touching…

I could feel it. That would be the moment. Butterflies were dancing in my stomach.

Our eyes glancing nowhere but at each over…

There was nothing in my way. There was just us. I wasn't Bella the mute…I was Bella a somebody.

Our lives were about to intertwine. …

And then I heard Charlie's voice behind me…

So yes…you'll have to see what happens in the next chapter. For all of you who think its WAY to early in there relationship for this …you'd be right(they have technically only known each other a week its true...but hey that never stopped Romeo and Juliet!) …but I do have my reasons.

I've kinda been on a hiatus as you know…so I think my writings went a bit on a downhill slope…your opinions would be lovely as always guys and gals.

Reviews make me oh so happy!