Hey everyone! No real house keeping this time! See the end of the chapter for notes!

THIS FIC UPDATES ONCE EVERY THREE DAYS: Post, Break, Break, Post!

CHAPTER 34

Janus

In ancient Roman religion and mythology, Janus is the god of beginnings and transitions, thence also of gates, doors, doorways, endings and time. He is usually a two-faced god since he looks to the future and the past.

Natsu awoke with the first rays of sun, as usual, and smiled as he found himself wrapped firmly around Lucy. This was more like it.

It had felt wonderful getting a chance to just sit and talk with her last night. They'd covered everything from what had happened so far to how weird dragons really were.

He'd been reluctant to admit he found them weird since he was supposed to be one, but Lucy had reasonably pointed out that he was more than that now, so it was expected some things would seem strange.

She was right of course, and it had felt good to get it off his chest.

The topics had wandered after that, and he'd slowly realized that he and Lucy had never actually done something like this before. They'd talked and teased, but he'd never really spent time getting to know her in this way. It was nice, and he definitely wanted to do it again.

Unfortunately he had begun to nod off on her, which was an unusual feeling. Ever since Igneel had removed the memories of his past, he had been able to sleep almost dead through the whole night. Natsu was hardly used to being able to have a full night of sleep under his belt. He found it a little strange.

He almost wished he had been able to stay up later with her, but it just wasn't in the realm of possibility as they curled up together. It had just been so nice.

But speaking to Lucy like that... it had been such a nice experience. He wanted to get to know her until he knew Lucy better than himself.

Lucy already knew practically everything there was to know about him. After all, she had been with him since his beginning.

He pressed a light kiss against her temple, grinning as he brown eyes opened to squint crossly at the light peeking into their nest.

"Morning," He rumbled, his hand swiping down her hip and thigh for a moment before coming to a rest around her middle. He shifted around to stretch out, Lucy following his example only to flop over onto his chest with a tired moan. Natsu huffed out a laugh.

"No," she whimpered in protest and tucked her face further into his shoulder.

"Yes," Natsu snorted back, steadying her weight with his hands against her hips.

She looked up at him, resting her chin on his collarbone to give him a baleful look with her large, pretty eyes.

"Fine," she huffed, "But only because we need to see Rogue off."

Natsu blinked at that, the unfamiliar feeling from the previous night welling up in his chest and puncturing the happy bubble he had been coasting in.

"Uh, yeah," Natsu mumbled, his fingers playing distractedly with the tips of Lucy's hair.

It was strange he was feeling this way. Especially about Rogue. He liked Rogue. Natsu even got along with Rogue, but that weird sensation he experienced kept coming back every time he came up...

And he didn't know what it was.

Lucy blinked a little as something in his tone pinged in her sleep fogged mind. She frowned a little at the distracted, almost angry, look on his face and shifted a bit, "Natsu? Is something wrong?"

Natsu blinked as if he was being pulled out of his thoughts and gave her a smile that was so false it hurt, "I'm just thinking too much! We should get up."

But despite his words he made no effort to actually move, and Lucy was certain now that something was wrong. She sat up a little and poked him slightly, "C'mon Natsu. Just who do you think you're talking to? I know you better than that."

Natsu shifted uncomfortably, but she waited patiently. Even though she'd made it a point not to order him about these things she knew he would tell her eventually.

And she was right.

"I feel weird." Natsu whined after a few minutes of silence, and absently rubbed his hand over his heart, "It's related to Rogue, but I don't understand it. It's like I'm mad, but not. Which is weird. I like Rogue! He's kinda stuffy, but he's a nice guy."

Lucy cocked her head at him slightly as she thought. It sounded like Natsu was experiencing a new emotion. Something like this happened every time. He didn't understand it and it made him twitchy until he'd resolved it.

She smiled gently and took his hand in hers, "Okay. You're feeling something new. That's good. Let's see if we can narrow this down a bit and figure out what it is alright? When did it start?"

Natsu blew out through his nose, his bangs ruffling from the gust of air. His eyes narrowed as he thought back to what had triggered the sudden emotion. It was difficult for him to talk about something like his feelings. They were vague enough concepts to begin with, and Natsu wasn't the best with words.

He only really knew how to act on how he felt, which made keeping his emotions off his face difficult. Everything he experienced was right in front of everyone for the world to see. And Lucy was the best at picking up on it.

But she also grounded him enough for him to think back on it in a rational way.

It cleared his thoughts enough for him to pinpoint when the feeling first sprang up. The ache dulled a little into embarrassment, although he wasn't sure why he was feeling that of all things.

His thumb rolled over the back of Lucy's hand and he whined, nudging Lucy's cheek with his nose.

"I guess it happened after the report Rogue gave," Natsu mumbled, "When he and Sting started to talk and make plans to fight."

"And at first I was sort of excited to see them duke it out, but then Gajeel opened his stupid mouth and talked about how they basically grew up together in the nest," Natsu's shoulders hunched, the feeling in his chest tightening as he spoke, "and they all started to compare notes of their nests and..."

He trailed off, clearly unsure how to continue.

But for Lucy, that was enough. She was aware of what Natsu was feeling.

It was something she had felt more than once herself during her life. And it was definitely a feeling that she would go through again in the future.

She smoothed a hand through his hair and looked into his troubled eyes. He clearly did not like feeling the way he was. And she didn't blame him for that. Especially not since Rogue was their friend.

"Natsu, what you're feeling is envy," Lucy smiled at him, "And maybe a little bit of jealousy?"

Natsu blinked slowly as he processed that, "I'm jealous of Rogue?"

Lucy nodded before leaning over to kiss him softly in reassurance, silently marveling that she could do that now, "It's not surprising really." She replied, "Rogue basically got what you were cheated out of by Zeref. The chance to grow up with Sting."

She gently rubbed her hand over his chest, "I would be jealous of that too." She admitted, "Just like I was always jealous as a little girl over the kids who had more freedom, or siblings, and eventually parents. It always hurt so badly, and part of me hated them for a long time even though it wasn't their fault. Or mine."

"So how do I stop it?" Natsu asked hopefully, and Lucy shook her head.

"It's not something you can turn off Natsu." She chided lightly, "What you have to keep reminding yourself of is that it's not wrong to feel the way you do, but that this mess isn't your fault, or Rogue's, or Sting's for that matter."

"And most of all, don't forget that even though you lost time, too much time, what ultimately matters is that you're here now right?" She tapped her finger on his nose with a small smile, "You're here, and your family are all tripping over themselves to try and build a relationship with you. That tells me you're very much loved by Sting and everyone else, and they're desperate to make up for all that lost time."

She grinned, "I think that counts for a lot, don't you?"

Natsu could feel that knot loosening under her words and gentle pokes. His face relaxed into an easy smile and he gave the tip of her ear and affectionate nip.

"That helps a lot Lucy," he sighed and pressed a light kiss into her temple. His large hand came to cup the crown of her head and Lucy sank into his warm embrace.

"It's a little weird, but you're right. I shouldn't be worried about it. Not like that." Natsu's voice was rough in her ear as he held her, and Lucy sighed with happiness.

"I'll have more faith in my family too, and Rogue. But for now-," Natsu's voice took on a hint of amusement. It was the only clue Lucy had to his sudden mischief, and she squeaked when she found them suddenly being flipped over.

Natsu smirked over her, his eyes wicked and amused.

He descended on her, all wet kisses and happy growls that had her giggling and laughing in hysterics under his sudden, fiendish attack.

He tapered off, his lips moving in gentle, slow lines across her jaw, a lazy smile still gracing his mouth as he let her catch her breath.

"Time to get up?" Lucy laughed breathlessly. She felt Natsu's lips still and his nose skim up to her ear.

"Yeah," Natsu smiled against it, before pulling away and straight up, his weight resting on his knees as he hovered over Lucy.

And she took a moment to appreciate the sight of him, because really, Lucy would not have thought she would be in bed with a demon this time last year.

She never would've imagined she would be in said bed willingly, or that she would love her demon as much as she did, either.

But then, Natsu was no ordinary demon.

He was singular and unique, and that made him all the more precious.

"Enjoying the view?" Natsu teased with a fangy grin, and she blushed a little.

"Like you weren't taking a look either!" She huffed in mingled embarrassment and amusement.

Natsu's grin widened, "The view is beautiful." He told her honestly, enjoying how that made her cheeks darken a little more, "Why wouldn't I look?"

Lucy laughed, and decided she was being a little ridiculous. They were a couple weren't they? They even openly slept in the same bed. Granted, it was just sleep, but she knew that wouldn't last for long, so there was no reason why she shouldn't look. Especially when he obviously enjoyed that she did.

"Well, you're just going to have to watch this view head into the bathroom." She smirked, as she levered herself out of bed and stretched, "I need to get ready before we go to see Rogue and the others off."

She was certain she could feel Natsu's grin, and eyes, on her the entire way, and couldn't help smiling happily at the knowledge.

-::-

By the time Lucy and Natsu got back to meeting the others for Rogue's send off, they were greeted with the strange sight of Levy and Gajeel fixing their packs onto Rogue's large, scaled back.

"What's going on?" Lucy asked as she approached her small friend while Natsu stared at the enormous black dragon before them. Gajeel barely turned around to look at them, only tightened a thick leather strap around Rogue's meaty arm in a practiced motion, and Natsu felt that new emotion, jealousy, surge and twist in his chest.

How many times had Gajeel done something like this? How familiar did they have to be to do something like this with such ease?

The jealous feeling clawed at his chest, dark and angry, until Lucy's words from before came back to him, and a surge of guilt joined it. It wasn't Rogue's fault. He couldn't help how he'd grown up any more than Natsu himself could, and slowly the feeling of jealousy seeped from him. He didn't like that it was this way, but he wouldn't get anywhere by looking behind all the time at what could've, or should've, been. The only thing he could do was move forward.

He smiled a little as the tightness vanished entirely to be replaced by a sense of peace, and tore his eyes away from Rogue to tune back into the conversation the women were having.

"Sorry, we talked about a change in plans while you two were asleep," Levy gave Lucy an apologetic smile, "Gajeel and I are going to head on early back to Magnolia. With all the subterfuge going on, Fairy Tail is going to need Gajeel to help Rogue and Gray with gathering intelligence."

"And shorty here is going to be needed to get all the documents and planning in place to make it so Jellal is the prime candidate to be elected by the people," Gajeel nodded at Levy. A glint of good humor and affection was buried in his eyes, but it was noticed only by Lucy.

They had a good point in returning early, even if they were disappointed they would be losing their traveling companions for it.

Lucy had grown accustomed to Levy's company at night, Gajeel's brawls with Natsu, and the rough way the older man showed his affection.

"You'll only be a couple of days behind us since you'll be coming back with Sting," Levy went on, "and a flight from Old Fort to Magnolia is a much shorter trip than it would be taking it by foot!"

Lucy nodded, accepting it for what it was. After all, Levy was the only one in all of Fairy Tail with the exception of old Master Makarov to have the patience to document everything and make Jellal look like a good political option.

"I'm going to miss you Levy," Lucy hugged her friend. Then she turned towards Gajeel, and straightened up.

Without even waiting for a blink of permission, Lucy wrapped her arms tight around Gajeel's middle and gave him a firm hug.

She could almost hear the rust falling out of his ears.

"I'm going to miss you too Gajeel," Lucy mumbled against what felt like a steel pole she was hugging.

Eventually though, his gears were greased and he dropped a hefty hand on the top of Lucy's head.

"Don't go getting all choked up blondie," Gajeel grumbled, looking everywhere but at the woman hugging him, "we'll be fine. You just keep yourself and those two idiots in line by the time you get back to Magnolia."

Natsu looked at Sting, "I think he's talking about you."

"He's talking about both of us!" Sting replied hotly.

Natsu just gave him a clueless look and then pointed at Rogue, "Nah, it's gotta be him."

As Sting opened his mouth to argue his point, Natsu turned to look back at Gajeel. Lucy moved away as the demon approached.

For a moment, she thought they would start growling at one another again. Gajeel even had a somewhat wary look in his eyes.

Ever since Natsu's attack, things had been a little tense between them. Gajeel and Natsu had not had a lot of time to speak to one another at the nest, and for a good reason.

But Natsu surprised them both and held out a hand to Gajeel, his gaze averting down.

"I... just," He struggled with his words, but Gajeel waited with a patience he wasn't known for. Natsu's brows furrowed together, trying to sift through his knowledge of words Lucy taught him to put his feelings into words.

"Sorry," He finished lamely, but looked up at Gajeel, his gaze strong.

"And thanks," Natsu continued, "For bringing me back to the nest."

Gajeel stared at Natsu for a long moment before grasping Natsu's hand firmly in his own, "You're nest runt." He grunted with a smirk, "And my cousin besides. Wouldn't be right to leave you hangin'."

He glanced down at the new scars on his arm and shrugged as he let go of Natsu, "Ain't a drake alive that don't have battle scars." He flashed Natsu a mock-grumpy look, "You damn well better be in your right mind the next time you try it though. You hear me brat? Wouldn't be any fun smashin' your face in otherwise."

Lucy and Levy shared a look, and rolled their eyes as Natsu grinned fiercely back at Gajeel.

"As if you could metalhead!" He cackled, his relief at the tension between them bleeding away obvious.

Gajeel just snorted, but he couldn't entirely hide the smile playing over his lips as he turned towards Rogue, "Whatever Salamander." He growled over his shoulder, as he hopped lightly onto Rogue's foreclaw and crouched there, "Finish learnin' how to be a drake first. Then we'll talk."

He held his hand out to Levy, who shot Lucy an amused look as she took it. One Lucy understood perfectly well. There was no comprehending how men, of any species, worked sometimes.

"Bye Lu!" Levy called as Gajeel helped her get firmly settled, "We'll see you back at the guild!"

"Bye Levy!" Lucy called back with a wave, "Tell the others we miss them and we'll be back as soon as we can!"

Natsu was now grinning broadly as he slipped a hand around Lucy's waist and waved at their friends. Nestmates? The question made him pause for a moment, but a warmth settled in his chest the more it bounced around his head. Yeah. Those were definitely his nestmates. All of Fairy Tail was.

Funny, since he had broken Gajeel's arm once already and torn up the other one.

Before he could think too in depth on that though, Sting made a strange noise in the back of his throat. By the time Natsu turned to look at his twin, the blond was already halfway gone back through the mountain tunnels.

"Huh?" Natsu blinked back at him, "what's his deal?" he asked obliviously.

Lucy shrugged and made a secret smile next to him, but didn't respond. While Natsu may not have noticed, his brother was very much the same as him in some ways.

"Igneel and Grandine already said their goodbyes," Lucy tugged on his arm, distracting him, "So why don't we go see if your mom was able to make any progress with your file, huh?"

Natsu had to admit, he was curious over what was in those files. There was so much that was either being withheld from him or worked around... he was getting tired of playing a defensive game.

Demons were after him, and aside from the obvious reason of wanting to use him as a weapon, Natsu wished he knew why they wanted him.

Knowing his past would at least give him some closure in that regard.

He slid his palm against the curve of Lucy's waist and pulled her closer to him, "Yeah. Lets go check up on ma."

Unfortunately guys, we didn't make the cut off for a sneak peek this chapter! I don't know if you guys were all busy or if you even had a chance to read the chapter, maybe next time yeah?

30 REVIEWS EQUALS A SNEAK PEEK