Author's Notes: Humourous. Made up a phobia. When things are Italic it is Reeve stepping back to talk about what you've just seen and heard.

Theme: Green

Chocobo Lovin'

"Reno, no! I am NOT doing this!"

"Oh come on Reeve! You're such a wimp!"

"You would be too!"

"Yeah, maybe. But only a lame-ass pansy would be freaked out!"

"Who you calling a lame-ass pansy?"

"You, you big clucking chocophobiac!

Yeah, yeah. I can hear you saying 'Pause, wait, HOLD UP! Chocophobiac? Reno's right Reeve, you ARE a lame-ass pansy!' Well I've got news for you, chocobos ARE scary. Their beaks are larger than a human head. Their eyes are as big as my fists together. And those claws! I got attacked by a chocobo as a kid once, there was feathers and blood EVERYWHERE. No matter what Reno says, they ARE scary! Now, back to the action.

"Don't call me that," Reeve growls, trying to pull away from Reno.

"It's just a big bird. Come on, all you have to do is pet its head and then you can go."

Reeve doubts this is true, but does relax a bit.

"One pet and then I'm free?"

"One little pet," Reno confirms.

Yeah, I know. Maybe I shouldn't have trusted Reno. Hell, I definitely should not have trusted Reno. But face it, he's got a gun, and an EMR and knows about a hundred ways to kill me with a feather, so it is best to obey him, right? Better than waking up next to a chocobo head, yeah?

"Fine," Reeve concedes and lets the red-haired Turk guide him towards the chocobo stalls of Shin-Ra inc. The only reason Reeve made sure to include the stalls in the plans so many years ago was because the president insisted.

Reeve is lead past stall after stall of chocobos. There is blacks, blues, yellows, golds and lots of them all. Finally Reno stops with Reeve before a stately green bird.

"Yo, what is up Gysahl?" Reno says as he reached out to stroke the chocobo. It warks and rubs its head against his hand. "See? Harmless."

Reeve tentatively reaches his hand out…

I know what you are thinking yet again. 'If he pets the fucking bird then the story will be over, right?' Wrong. So very, very wrong.

… and as he reaches out to touch the bird it moves forward to check his pockets. Reeve jumps back a step in shock.

"He's just looking for a few treats," Reno says with a smile. He takes some greens from his pocket and hands them to Reeve. "Feed him those and he'll like you."

And Reeve, of course, listens. The bird takes the greens right from Reeve's hand. Reeve, so amazed, actually reaches out and strokes the head of the bird.

"Okay, time for the next step. Let's get you out for a ride."

The executive freezes.

This, of course, is the WORST idea of the day…

"Come on Reeve. Just this once?"

Hesitantly Reeve nods and accepts this fate.

And I agreed to it why?

Reno quickly helps Reeve onto the back of the bird and guides the chocobo from the stables, and out into the open air. With an evil smile on his face, Reno smacks the back of the chocobo and the bird, shocked, takes off at a break neck pace. A terrified Reeve clings desperately to the neck and prays he does not fall as he rides off into the sunset…

Just be glad you didn't have to live through the chocobo loving that happened when Gysahl found a young female chocobo of breeding age. I still shiver when I think about it.