HEY GUYS! LISTEN, FIRST OF ALL, I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR DELAY OF THE UPDATE. DUE TO OVER AMOUNTS OF HW, DISTRACTIONS, ETC IT WASN'T IT'S BEST. SO, I NEEDED AN EXTRA DAY TO...WHAT YOU CALL MAKE THIS CHAPTER "ABSOLUTELY PERFECT" WHICH INCLUDES SADNESS/HAPPINESS/EXCITEMENT/DEPRESSION IN ONE CHAPTER. DO YOU DOUBT ME? I HOPE NOT! PLEASE, ENJOY THE THIRTY FOURTH CHAPTER OF THE JUNKIE...

THE JUNKIE-CHAPTER 34

CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE

"How could you say that? How could you say we aren't meant to be together?" I asked him, my lips quivering in disappointment.

"Clare, I'm trying to tell you the truth," he said getting frustrated at me as he continued to hurt me even more, "You have to pull you're head out of this fucking romance fantasy you live in Clare."

"So, what you're saying is everything we did together. All the time we spent together, meant nothing to you!" I screamed at him.

Eli threw his hands in the air and screamed, "No Clare! I didn't fucking say that!"

I screamed back at him, giving him what he was asking for, a taste of his own medicine. "Well, it pretty much fucking sounded like it Eli. You are saying that the truth is that what we did together, everything we ever did, meant nothing to you!"

He shook his head, and banged his right fist against the wall causing me to jolt.

He stroked his fingers through his hair and said with a shaky voice, "Everything we did together…whether it was just talking to you, kissing you, to being in the Ravine van that night, to sharing secrets about each other. Every single thing we did together meant the world to me."

"Then why are you being so fucking difficult Eli?" I screeched as he just sighed.

He bit his lip, and tried to find words to fight with me.

"Come on Eli, say it! All you want to do is fight with me, I'm waiting."

"Clare! I don't want to fight with you, you're just making this extremely difficult to say goodbye! I knew it was going to be hard to let go of you, that's why I wrote the letter so we wouldn't have to do this.I knew that...you would put up a fight and that's why the letter was just easier because we saved the argument."

I sighed, placing my hand on my hip, and said, "What if...I don't want to say goodbye Eli?"

His voice cracked turning lower and more hurt."Clare...my dad told me something when I was little, before he died, when I went to my mom and dad's wedding..." his voice sounded cracked and high due to his tears streaming down his cheeks and holding back sobs.

"He told me that if you love someone, you can let them go..." he whispered.

I gulped, tears pouring down my face as Eli looked at his feet with his hands dug into his pockets nervously. Eli looked up, his eyes beat red and puffy from crying, "And that, if it comes back to you, its yours forever. And...if it doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be."

My heart skipped a beat knowing he was talking about me.

Eli gulped and he whispered, "I don't want to fight anymore Clare..."

"Then what do you want to do?" I asked him tears falling down my cheeks.

He shook his head and leaned forward toward me pressing his lips against mine. Eli's tears dripped down to his lips, as did mine. Our lips locked, tears sealing with a kiss. I kissed him back, sliding my tongue into his mouth. Tears dripped from my eyes as I missed the feeling of Eli. I missed his touch, his voice, his eyes, his hair, his ears, his everything.

Even when we were screaming at each other, I enjoyed it, just because I could hear his voice.

Eli pulled away from my lips slowly to touch my flushed face with the color of pink.

Eli used his thumb to wipe the tears from my cheek and I shivered at his touch.

"Does this mean that…does this mean that we are back together? Because…I really can't live with you anymore," I whispered.

He shook his head, his forehead touching mine and I pulled back.

"Why can't we be together?" I asked my voice turning hoarse from all of this upsetment.

He smirked and said, "I can't be with you...because I can't show you how much I love you Clare. I can't give you the lifestyle of a queen that you deserve. I can't buy you jewelry, or fancy clothes, or heels, or any of that stuff. I can't. I can't give you that Clare, and it upsets me, that you feel obligated to stick around a guy like me, when you can be somewhere else, somewhere much better than with me."

I inched towards him, and said, "Eli, I don't need all that stuff. I don't need clothes or jewelry, or any of that stuff."

"Then, what do you want?" Eli asked.

I smiled, and sniffled, "You."

Eli inched closer to me, as I looked down at my feet, afraid of eye contact. Afraid of what he would say next. Afraid of what he would do next.

"Clare, if we grew old, if we separated, if we moved from two different parts of the world, if you got shipped off to space. No matter how far away you are from me, their will always be once thing...one thing that will remain the same," Eli whispered, his breath hitching towards the end.

"What's that?" I asked him my lips quivering not wanting to know the answer.

He smirked, tears dripping over his curved lips and said, "How much I love you."

"I'm really tired of fighting Clare..." he whispered.

Eli lunged at me, backing me up against the door and placing his hands at either side of my face, cornering me.

I breathed out, my chest heaving from fighting with Eli. I touched the buttons on Eli's shirt and slowly un buttoned them.

"I'm really…tired of fighting," I whispered looking up at Eli's green eyes.

He nodded, biting his lip and said, "I just want to be with you Clare…I want to stay here forever..."

I nodded and kissed his lips, biting his bottom lip. We frantically kissed each other, losing control and not giving a fuck. I smiled as I placed both of my hands on Eli's chest. I quickly discarded the unnecessary shirt.

He got really skinny from the last time I saw him but he was still healthy looking. I glared at his chest, eyeing his body and taking mental pictures loving every part of his upper body.

Eli lifted my chin up, to keep me from staring at his upper body and crashed his lips against mine. Eli breathed out, removing my jacket, and I heard it hit the floor.

This was really happening Clare. I sighed, make it memorable. All I intended doing today was going here, and making amends, but this just made every thing a hundred times better.

"I love you Clare…" he whispered, his hot breath on my ear, sending chills up my spine.

"What's that?" I asked teasingly as my tears soon stopped.

He pulled away to look into my eyes and said, "I love you Clare."

I nodded and said, "Show me how much you love me."

FITZ'S PERSPECTIVE

I fought my eyes to stay awake as I read the newspaper in the library. I was hovered over a lamp and trying to read.

But, due to driving all day and all night I was exhausted. I could barely function. I think If someone told me that they would give me one hundred million dollars if I told them what two plus two was...I couldn't give them the right answer.

I placed my shoulders on the table leaning my head on my hands preventing me from my face falling onto the table.

No call from Clare, so I assumed she was okay.

No texts what so ever. No calls. No contact.

It was a shame I had fallen in love with a girl who had her heart set on one person. And, that person just had to be my best friend.

Knowing that you're the back up guy, that will never get the girl, just made me feel like total shit.

I fought my eyes to stay open as I saw the words to the paper go blurry and soon turn pure black.

I shut my eyes, sighing, feeling safe.

This was the first time since I really slept, well, since Clare's house.

I wasn't a fan of Reese's house because his parents always fought down stairs and sometimes they would become physical but Reese would always sleep through it. But, in this library, it was silent. I could only hear myself think.

I looked down at my clock, and the clock stroke midnight.

"Happy Birthday Fitz," I mumbled sighing not looking forward to a lonely birthday...again...

CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE

He moved his lips to my neck, biting and twisting the skin. I breathed out as he gripped my thighs in his huge hands.

"Eli…" I moaned.

I jumped into his arms, kissing his neck as he carried me to his bed.

Eli gently lowered me down onto my back, keeping our lips locked.

I pulled away gasping for air, and Eli asked, "Is this really going to happen?" I licked the corner of my lips and said, "Only if you want it to."

Eli raised his right eyebrow leaning in to kiss me on the lips. His cold hands brushed against my thighs, causing me to shudder underneath him.

I gripped my fingers on his belt buckle and he pulled away, glaring into my eyes, and said, "I think I owe you something first."

Eli's shaky fingers started to un button my jeans and smirked as he kissed my exposed skin. I tilted my head back, loving the feeling of his lips against my skin.

"You're cold…" Eli whispered.

I smiled and said, "Then make me warm…"

He nodded, kissing my neck and his fingers came in contact with the hem of my shirt. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I never really had sex with anyone besides Jason and I never wanted Jason so I was new to this.

I was new to truly wanting someone's body. This was an experience I've been waiting for, and I'm just glad Eli was the guy I get to live it out with.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked glancing into my eyes and I shook my head, "Nothing…I'm just happy."

He smirked and kissed my neck, and I leaned up preventing him from kissing me.

I threw my shirt over my head and threw it to the ground.

"Edwards strips?" Eli questioned his face turning red.

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him and whispered, "Only for you."

Eli and I sat there, in that moment, embracing each other. We didn't want to pull away. We didn't want to let go again. Because, the last time we let go, it was a catastrophe. I smiled, closing my eyes and trying to get through my head that this was happening. And, it wasn't because it was supposed to, it was because it's meant to be.

Eli kissed my neck and rubbed my back as he came in contact with my chest. His head sat comfortably in the crook of my neck, twisting and playing with my pulsing vein.

I could feel Eli's heart beating quickly against my chest. Our bodies were so close, but we weren't close enough.

As if Eli read my mind he gripped the hook to my bra behind my back and looked me in the eyes to make sure I was okay with it. I gulped and nodded.

When he unclasped my bra I quickly shut my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction at all. I heard my bra hit the floor and I thought my heart was going to come out of my chest, that's how fast it was beating. The feeling Eli gave me, made me feel like I was going to have a heart attack. Eli always made me nervous, and I felt doing this with him was right, but it was giving me an anxiety attack at the same time.

Eli's hand traced the side of my face and said, "Clare, I'm not going to bite you…open your eyes."

I fluttered my eyes open slowly and saw his eyes clash with mine. Eli's placed his right hand over my beating heart which caused it to beat faster. It was so quiet in his apartment that you could hear a pin drop. All you heard was us breathing.

"Clare it's me, not Jason, it's me…" he whispered assuming I would think he would be Jason.

I wrapped my right arm around his neck pulling him closer to me and I whispered, "It was always you Eli…" I smiled and giggled at him as he groped my breast when our lips locked. I breathed out when our lips separated and re connected as I reached for Eli's belt.

Eli leaned in to brush his hips against me and I moaned into his throat feeling his extremely large hard on.

"Clare please don't do that…" Eli told me breathing out.

I asked, "Why? You don't like it."

He shook his head and said, "I really…like it."

When he finished his sentence I arched my back against him and he groaned out leaning back down to crush his lips against mine.

I smiled against his smirking lips and I asked, "Can we...please just do it, I really…can't take waiting."

Eli was a very smart boy, he didn't have to be told twice.

He nodded and I fumbled with his belt buckle as he unzipped my pants.

Before we knew it all our clothes were on the floor and it was just Eli and I, nothing keeping us apart.

No people, no clothes, it was just us.

Eli was hovering over me, and I breathed out and Eli asked, "Are you ready?"

I nodded.

"Clare, are you sure?" The tip of Eli's cock pressed up against my entrance and he said, "You can still back out."

I crushed my lips against Eli's, shoving my tongue inside his mouth and pulled back as I asked, "Is that good enough insurance for you?" Eli nodded gripping my breast and slowly entering me.

Eli crushed his lips against my neck, slowly placing loving kisses on the crook of it. I moaned when he entered me, and backed out slowly. Eli continued his motions as I gripped onto his back, clawing at it by force of habit, causing him to groan.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I cried in the crook of his neck. He was doing so good, and he was calm, so I just wanted to continue even though it hurt.

I sniffled and Eli moved back, causing our eyes to collide and he said, "Clare, what's wrong?Am I hurting you?Why didn't you tell me to stop? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-."

I placed my fingers over his lips and said, "I'm fine. Just continue."

Eli placed his hand on the small of my back, and gently lowered me onto my back.

"If you lay on your back…it might feel better," Eli whispered continuing to move slowly.

"Perfect…" I whimpered as I began to feel something I have never felt before rise in my lower stomach. It was a burning feeling. Not the bad kind, but a good kind.

I couldn't take Eli going slowly anymore.I needed him to pick up the pace or I was going to explode. I felt like I was suffocating.

"Eli, please, move faster," I moaned.

He grunted, gripping the sheets and placing a kiss on my lips and he moved quicker. I gripped the sheets in response to Eli quickening his pace and moaned out "Oh, oh my god Eli!"

Eli nodded knowing he was hitting me in the spot that drove me insane. Eli crashed his lips against mine, and I arched my back in response to meet his thrusts. All the sweat on Eli's forehead pressed against mine when our faces touched.

"That's it Clare…" Eli moaned kissing my earlobe.

"A-ah! Eli…can I cum?" I asked him.

My chest rose signaling I was close.

I needed his permission.

Whenever I did release without permission Jason would hit me, and I didn't know what to do if it was the same way with Eli.

Eli smiled quickening his pace, and placed his thumb over my clit.

"Of course you can Clare…you don't need permission…" he grunted twisting the skin on my neck as I clenched and unclenched my walls around his penis. I think it nearly drove Eli insane as I came all over his dick.

Eli grunted and continued to ride out his orgasm as he made my legs shake.

"Clare! Oh my god..." as he didn't finish my sentence and crushed his lips against mine causing me to moan and he pulled out cumming all over my stomach.

I wish he would have used a condom, instead of cumming all over my stomach. But, honestly at that moment, I didn't didn't have time to put on a condom, I give him credit to remembering not to ejaculate in me so I would get pregnant, that wouldn't be would just be another problem on the table, on top of relationship problems.

Eli's chest heaved, gasping for air.

I brushed his sweaty bangs out of his face and I smiled.

"We did it," I told him.

He nodded and said, "Yeah, we did it."

Eli got up, slipping out of me, and placed his boxers on.

I already missed him inside of me.

Was that bad?

Yes. Very bad.

I watched him as he handed me a tissue and I cleaned his remains off my stomach. Once I was clean, Eli only handed me my bra and underwear.

"Eli I can barely fathom what just happened in the last five minutes, but I do recall I had more clothing on," I told him.

Eli turned to face me and said, "They got up and walked away. Humor me Clare. I want to cuddle with you. Does that bother you?"

I placed my bra and underwear on and Eli slipped under the sheets with me. Our legs interlocked together and Eli gripped my hand in his right hand. I placed my hand on his chest and traced lazy circles around his nipple causing him to jump unintentionally giving him goose bumps. I laughed and he breathed in, sniffing my hair.

I listened to Eli's heart, beating out of rhythm and I said, "You're heart beat is uneven."

He sighed and said, "That's because you make it beat uneven."

I smiled, he was so cheesy sometimes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered smiling. I looked around at his apartment, realizing he had a nice place. Eli used his left hand and traced my spinal cord with his cold fingers.

I shivered and said, "Don't do that."

He laughed and said, "Oh so you can do it to me but I can't do it to you. That isn't fair Edwards." I looked into his eyes and kissed his lips chastely and he said, "God Clare, I have no idea how I lived without you for that long."

I shrugged my shoulders, loving this feeling. I loved the feeling of being wanted, being loved, being cared for.

"Can we promise each other to stay together forever no matter what?" Eli asked me.

Eli's question really couldn't be answered because well, we can't predict the future.

"What if we got into another fight and what if things didn't work out…?" I whispered doubting our relationship.

I didn't want to do it, but sometimes things happened.

He nodded, his smirk tilting and he said, "I think that if we ever fought, we should do whatever we can to fix it because after this...I don't think anyone else is right for me, besides you."

I looked up and he blushed bright red.

Eli stroked my back relaxing me and I smiled. "I love you Eli," I whispered. Eli moved to stroke his hand through my hair and I gasped in pain, sitting up to touch my scar.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" He screeched and I smiled.

"I'm fine, it's just sometimes it hurts, that's all."

Eli got up running out of the room, and came back in seconds later with a bag of ice. I smiled knowing he would make a tiny thing into a big thing.

"Eli I'm fine," I whispered as he moved behind me.

I sat comfortably in his lap as he gently pressed the ice to my scar. I smiled knowing this probably wouldn't help it at all but I loved him trying.

"Eli, I'm serious, I'm fine…" I mumbled as Eli had to say, "Sh, Let me take care of you, let me feel important for once."'

I laughed as he gently kept the ice in place over the scar. I sighed when Eli removed the ice two minutes later and I crawled into his lap as he leaned his back against the headboard of his bed. Eli wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to his body, and I smiled.

I never wanted to leave this, what Eli and I have right here right now was something…magical.

Not even a stake knife can break us apart.

AW, OKAY SO I HOPE NONE OF YOU EXPECTED THE LEMON SCENE I HAD GOING ON, BUT, THEY WENT SO LONG WITHOUT DOING IT IN THIS STORY AND IT NEEDED TO HAPPEN.

DID YOU GUYS LIKE IT/DISLIKE IT? Was it too quick paced? Did it fit good in the story or not?

AND FITZ IS ALL ALONE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY(or is he)? :(

Lol hmhm, and I've gotten many reviews about a squeal. I need to plan it out first, but in the meantime this story isn't over just yet (;

345=NEXT CHAPTER ;)

Love you guys,

Cliffhanger Girl

3