Eleanor pushed back the hair in front of her eyes as she squinted at the small type in front of her. It was nearing dinner and she really needed to leave the library soon, but studying had become her solace, the one thing she had to look forward to. She wasn't even that hungry and the textbook was actually quite interesting...

But she had to go. Joseph would be waiting for her and she promised that she'd spend the rest of the day with him. Maybe she even needed a snog session to get her mind off...other things.

After organizing the textbook in her bookbag, she quickly walked past Madam Pince, trying not to acknowledge the cranky librarian.

She had barely taken a step out of the library door when someone grabbed her arm, pulling her against the corridor wall. The giggle stopped in her throat when she focused on the boy in front of her. "Liam?"

He wasn't talking to her. He wasn't supposed to be in front of her with that wide-eyed look on his face. He was avoiding her, wasn't he?

"Sorry, did I scare you?"

Eleanor blinked at his words, trying to ignore the pain in her chest that came from hearing him speak again. It really had been too long.

"What-"

"Sorry," he said again, releasing his grip on her. Instead, he stretched out his arms on either side of her head, palms on the wall, trapping her with his body. He was looking determinedly down the corridor and Eleanor knew he was nervous. Nervous talking to her just because they had a stupid fight. Why did they ever decide to stop speaking? It was Liam, her best friend, and just hearing his voice made everything better. He probably thought she was getting ready to run away, but Eleanor had no intention of moving.

"Are you-" Eleanor began to say, but Liam began shaking his head.

"I'm sorry about avoiding you," he said, turning to look at her. His voice was surprisingly shaking and Eleanor knew he was making up words on the spot, "I'm stupid and I should have known I couldn't avoid you because you're in all of my classes and I miss talking to you."

Eleanor smiled at his stumbling confession. "I do too-"

"And this whole thing was stupid because we're Liam and Eleanor and we can't be mad at each other, that's not us."

Everything was okay now. Liam admitted it was stupid, she knew it was stupid, and they had both missed each other. "Our friendship is too strong," she added.

Eleanor watched him blink and then the words came tumbling out of his mouth, "I don't want to be friends."

She heard wrong. "What?"

Liam's gaze was piercing and Eleanor could feel her throat close up as he repeated, "I don't want to be friends."

He didn't want their friendship. Her friendship. Her. He didn't want those six years and all of those letters and the Journey and Beatles and all the late-night studying sessions. He didn't want any of that. What did she do wrong?

"So, you came all the way here to speak to me after two weeks of avoidance just to tell me you don't want to be my friend anymore?" Eleanor tried to say with a straight face, but her bottom lip was trembling and the tears were welling up in her eyes. He was bound to notice by their close proximity and Eleanor couldn't do a thing about it.

She saw him wince and then gulp. "Eleanor-"

What was he going to say? What could he possibly say to make sense out of nonsense?

"You're just going to throw the last six years away because we had a little fight." No, it didn't make sense at all. "Is that all I am to you? Something that easy to forget about?"

"No, no," Liam whispered, almost soothingly, "I want-"

"You want me to leave? You want me not to be friends with you? You want me to ignore you for the rest of our lives because I messed up? I don't know what I did, what did I do, I didn't – I'm sorry I slept in your bed, I didn't mean to. Did I ruin everything?" She could feel hot tears streaming down her cheeks as she struggled to take a breath.

She flinched as the cuff of his shirt brushed away her tears. "Stop crying, please." He sounded regretful. Regretful. He was the one saying all of this and yet, he still felt guilt. Guilt that should have stopped him but he just ignored it.

"Listen, Eleanor, please, just listen to me," he mumbled, but she only choked back a sob. "Come on." His forehead was suddenly resting on hers. "I don't want to be friends, Eleanor. Friends. Do you get what I'm saying?"

Her eyes were shut tight as she moved her head to the side and back.

"I'm not giving up on you." His voice was low, barely a whisper and Eleanor had to stop breathing to hear. "I still want you, I just don't want you in...the same way."

Her eyes flickered upward and she moved back to catch his gaze. "What?"

"I like you."

She knew that.

"A lot."

She knew that too.

"Not in the friendly way."

But that – that was...was something.

"Not in the-" she tried to say.

"Not how best friends should like each other," he said, as if it clarified everything.

Her heart was racing and her mind was struggling to process what he had said. He couldn't – he didn't want to be friends. He wanted something more. He wanted a relationship. A relationship with her, Eleanor Bennett, best friend.

He didn't want to be her friend.

"You're destroying our friendship," she finally managed to say, voice strangled. Her eyes were now on the floor and she couldn't look up to see the disappointment. If it was anyone else, it would have been okay, but this was Liam.

"I'm absolutely fine with that."

Her breath came out in a sharp gasp. "You're fine with ruining our friendship?"

"For this-" His fingers weaved through hers. "-yes."

He was too close again and she was suffocating. He didn't want friendship anymore. He wanted a relationship. He wanted to throw everything they had away, replace it with something temporary, and ruin everything.

Pulling away from his grasp, she hid her face in her hands. "Liam, this isn't...we can't..." she stuttered, palms pressing into her eyes. "We're friends, Liam. We're not meant to be anything more. It'd be – just think about it logically. If we started this, we might be the perfect couple, no fights or complaints, just us. Just what you're imagining, I know. But then we'd begin arguing – it always happens – and like ninety percent of relationships, we'd break apart. But it wouldn't be the same for us because as both best friends and lovers, we'd lose everything, Liam. Everything we've been would be erased in a single moment and I know you want to say that it won't end that way but the fact is, it will. Logic says it will." Her voice was gradually getting quieter, almost disappearing. "It would never work...and I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me."

"We'd break up, Liam!" She was looking at him now. The disappointment was everywhere: in his eyes, his frown, his posture. "Just like everyone else. Would you really put our whole friendship at risk just to see-"

"It's taking a chance, I know." Liam's voice was still strong and she knew he wasn't going to give up any time soon. "It's a huge risk, a huge chance, but what if it was right?"

He wasn't seeing reason. He was only seeing the relationship as the answer, not the problem. "I can't just...jump off the edge and hope that it works out. I can't. I can't do this. I can't love you."

Liam pushed back from the wall, taking a step backward. Eleanor watched him, hands trembling as he stared at her.

"You can't," he repeated, his voice strangely calm.

She lost him. She lost her best friend. Without even jumping into a relationship, everything was lost.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed.

She waited for him to wipe her tears away, try something else, pull her into his embrace, but he just looked at her. His fingers were flexing slowly as if itching to do something but then he took another step back.

"I'm sorry too," Liam announced before turning and leaving her broken outside of the library.

I guess that's not the reaction you were all hoping for. Some of you guessed she'd react in this way, so kudos!

Thanks to mew-tsubaki for editing and did you know that adding a comma before the word "too" is an author's choice? The English language is strange.

Next chapter is pretty good, I must admit. I'm working on chapter 40 right now and it takes place at Liam's house. Yes, with his brothers.

Thanks for reading!