Olivia's screams pierced through the air. Her shrieks echoed against the brick on her sides. Kazuma continued to pull her further and further away from him, letting her desperate pleas fall on deaf ears. All she wanted was for Kazuma to release her. To let her run back to him. To drag him out of that alleyway and somewhere safe. He had done so much to keep her safe and she had just left him there! No amount of kicking or attempt to claw at him yielded results. Kazuma didn't falter against the soles of her boots nor flinch from the deep marks she was clawing into his skin trying to pry his hands from around her abdomen. Goro's figure was becoming smaller with each passing second. Just before Kazuma swung her around, she saw his shoulders shake and his head fall forehead.

"No! Please, Kazuma!" Olivia begged, her tears falling even harder. "Let me go!"

Whatever they passed, her gloved hands reached out to grab it, trying to give her some leverage to pull against Kazuma's strong grip. Olivia reached out with both hands to grip onto a brick wall, not paying attention to her nails chipping even with the protection from her gloves. The soles of her boots latched between the grout of the bricks and she pulled with all her might, but Kazuma merely grabbed her legs and pried them from the wall, holding her at her thighs as he continued to run away. The harder the footsteps slammed against the pavement, the faster he pulled them away.

"Over here! I found him!" Olivia heard and she struggled harder.

Kazuma rounded a corner and tucked them into an alleyway, quickly covering her mouth. With renewed vigor at the absence of one of his hands around her abdomen, she struggled once more. It didn't matter. He was just as strong with one hand as he was with two, and with him locking her arms into place she had no chance. Even with his hand covering her mouth, she continued to plead and cry. She tried everything. Slamming her head against him? Missed. Moving her leg to kick him? Missed. Without the use of her arms, she was severely limited in what she could do. It didn't matter. Once she heard that; she stopped moving all together.

A single gunshot.

Her eyes widened and her chest tightened. From deep within the reaches of her heart and soul she wailed. Over and over. Just when her breathing would run out from one, a new one would begin. Her legs stopped holding her and she collapsed, held up only by the strength of Kazuma's arm. Even when her throat wouldn't produce sound anymore and anything that came after was a squeak, her heart and soul attempted to vocalize its pain; its deep-seated anguish. Doubled over in his arm with his hand still over her mouth, he carried her further away from the Goro Majima that was now a corpse in that alleyway. This time she allowed herself to be carried away; losing all desire and ability to carry herself forward. Either Kazuma didn't notice, didn't care, or didn't mind as he carried her without any issues.

They stopped in front of a familiar building. The same building where all this started. Her old apartment building. Going back home was supposed to be a good feeling. It was supposed to spark happiness and peace. Coming here did the exact opposite. Questions would normally flood her; why were they here? What could this place have to offer them? Was there something here that they needed? Now? Nothing. Olivia just stood there, kept upright by a hand around her waist. All it did was remind her of everything that was gone. Her happiness. Her peace. Her laughter. Her joy. It was all gone; stolen with that one gunshot. He was gone. With him gone? So was everything else.

Kazuma knocked at the door, but Olivia barely heard it. Even when a familiar voice sounded, she didn't look up. Her gaze was stuck on the piece of metal from the staircase. Even then, she wasn't truly seeing it. She was looking past it, into nothingness. All of the plans they had made were gone. Plans to spend time together. Plans to go back to Club Sega. Plans to go and play darts and pool. He had told her that he was a fan of baseball. Even though she knew she'd be terrible at it, she had wanted to go to the batting cages because he enjoyed it. There were so few things that he truly enjoyed doing. If it was special to him, it was to her. All that was gone; slipping away like water through fingers. Now it was just nothingness. The future? Gone. Any plans? Gone. They had been so close… So close to being able to spend some quality time together. Everything was past tense now; was, had, gone. All of it. There was no future. There was no present.

Kazuma said something to her, but she didn't hear. She just let herself be guided away to wherever they were going. He could've been leading her into the belly of the beast, and it wouldn't matter anymore. It was hard enough to keep her feet moving; autopilot or no. After everything that Keahi had done, she thought that her canvas had turned monochromatic. She had been wrong. So, so wrong. It became grayscale. Right now; this is what a monochromatic life felt like, if it could even be called a life. This didn't feel like living. Feeling like this? It felt like just existing. Olivia didn't even care anymore if it sounded overdramatic. The click of a lock announced that they had arrived at wherever their destination had been. The whole time, she had just followed Kazuma without questions or cares. They walked inside and the door was closed behind them and locked. Light filled the room.

"Have a seat." Kazuma's voice was so low that she barely heard it.

Finally, Olivia looked up and took in her surroundings. It was about the same size as her apartment had been; maybe a tad bit larger. The floor was older wooding and the walls were painted white which was now chipping off. It was a one room space. It was filled with four small beds, a small kitchen by even Japanese standards, a couch, and a radio. The space was cold, but she barely felt it. Kazuma said nothing else and headed further into the space fiddling with something. Olivia remained standing in the same spot that she entered. Sitting somewhere would mean moving. That wasn't something she was sure she could do at that moment. The wood flooring in her vision received the same treatment that the metal stairs had at her old apartment complex. A hand gripped onto her arm and guided her to sit on one of the beds. They were musty, but otherwise well kept.

From the corner of her eye, she saw him go over to the singular window that this place possessed and crack it. Whether it would make her more comfortable; she didn't care. If the situation would've been any different, she would've found the thought endearing. Now it just upset her. In her heart of hearts, she knew that she shouldn't be mad at Kazuma. She knew it. Unfortunately, her heart didn't believe what her head knew. Her fists clenched and tears started to fall again, but this time it was from anger. Potentially from hearing her sniffling, Kazuma came over to her and sighed. Tentatively, he reached out a cup to her which she smacked from his hand. Once the cup hit the floor, the shards split across the floor and the tea inside spread out just as far.

"Leave me alone." Olivia said. Her voice was soft; deadpan.

"Olivia—"

"No!" Olivia yelled. Her fists clenched further. When it got to the point where she was having a hard time clenching them further, she stood. "This is all your fault! You left him!"

"…"

"What right do I have to draw breath? What gives me the right to be in here; alive and rid of any physical pain?! Huh?! What the fuck makes me so goddamned special that I deserve all this special treatment?" Olivia screamed at him, the tears of anger melding with the ones of anguish she thought she was rid of. "He died alone. He died in an alley alone. He was a good man! He didn't deserve to die in a fucking alley! He was your friend! How could you just leave him there?!"

"…"

"Why doesn't that bother you?! Do you like leaving your friends to die?! Why would you leave him?! We could've taken him with us! I would rather be slowed and take longer to be brought to safety than lose one of us for a quicker escape! That's not friendship! I don't care about the yakuza way or any of that bullshit! I… I just want him back." Olivia managed through her tears.

"It's what he wanted." Kazuma finally spoke. All the time she had been speaking English, Kazuma must've understood some of what she had said, or he could just tell from her emotions how hateful her speech was and how distraught she was.

"Why about me?! What about what I want?! Why is everyone making decisions for me?!"

"…"

Olivia smacked his chest which broke the barely repaired dam that had been holding back the sadness. She pushed him and she wasn't sure whether she was glad or angry that he had barely moved.
"I hate you." She said, punching him in the chest with her weakened hand. Tears fell and she shoved him again before beating on his chest weaker this time. Kazuma pulled her into a hug and Olivia tried her hardest to push away from him. However, it only made him grip tighter onto her. Her hands slammed against his chest the best that she was able from both her depleted strength and her position. "I hate you so, so much."

"I know." Kazuma said, taking her beatings with no anger or malevolence in his voice. "Hate me all you want. That's fine. But, you're safe and that's most important."

Olivia was unsure of how many hits she had thrown, how many shoves he had received, how many times he had been told she hated him, and how many tears she shed while in his embrace, but he took it all. Never once did he attempt to retaliate. All the while, she felt him try to channel his strength to her. He rubbed her back and embraced her tighter when her legs felt especially weak and almost gave out. This reminded her of when Ethan had died. Olivia had hated everyone and everything. For weeks she had cried and even the mere thought of his name would be enough to send her into a frenzy. Over time, while it still hurt to be reminded of him, she had no more depression frenzies.

This was different than that. She knew why. She was painfully aware of why this time was so different. Oblivious and hot-headed to a fault, yes, but not stupid. However, she couldn't say it now. She couldn't even think it. Acknowledging it would make it real. It would make everything real. It was a reality that she wasn't ready to face right now—if ever. Olivia had never been good at dealing with negative feelings. Usually this sort emotion that she realized was positive, but… not this time. Just as she had captured it, it was gone. A feeling so intense and coveted that it was gained and lost within hours of each other. There were so many things she wanted to know now that she had discovered this feeling. Yet, she couldn't even let those appear. These were cuts that would never heal. No matter how much time had passed. Olivia wasn't even sure if they could be sutured let alone heal to scars.

Kazuma had helped her sit on the bed and sat on the one across from her. She didn't look up. He didn't force her to. They sat there for a long time, just staring at different things. Neither spoke, and after her crying she wasn't sure that she'd be able to. Every time she'd make some sort of movement, Kazuma would be called to attention to see if she was alright and watch whatever it was. Most of the time it was her brain sending signals to various parts of her body to make sure that she was still alive. One other time was her sneezing and the other was her removing her boots. The beating of her heart must've gone too slow for her brain's liking. She didn't care.

…Death… It was a natural part of life. Inevitable. But, at 26? With the sounds of shards of glass being scraped up in the distance, she thought of the spring blossoms on his back. They had been beautifully placed, but they had been right. Life was beautiful, but it was short. The thread of one's life was cut at different lengths, but… this was unacceptable. There was no reason for this. War or not. Why the hell hadn't she chased after him? Why hadn't Kazuma? If someone had been with him, they would've been able to protect themselves. In order for him to become as… harmed as he had been, there must've been so many people. Olivia pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead against them before the tears started again.

He must've been so scared…

In his last moments, he had been thinking of someone else. Her. Why? He had commented on him being equivalent to 'nothing'. It was the exact opposite. He was everything. The use of past tense cut as sharp as his blade each time she had to think about it or feel it. Twenty-four hours hadn't even passed, and she didn't know what she'd do without him in her life. How was she going to face the girls at Club Sunshine? Would they blame her like she blamed herself? Just as her tears quieted, she began again when she thought of the pictures in her albums. The pictures of him. The pictures of them. There was the album that he had gotten her. The film that was in her camera back in Kamurocho.

The stupid moments they had throughout their time together became more precious to her than all the gemstones in the world. The time that he had given her the Bun-chan from the crane machine. The time he had taken her lollipop. The time he had even handed her back her dictionary. All the small things that she had taken for granted were the moments she longed for again. Awkward smiles, huffs, pouts, and even the suggestive comments. Olivia had always taken him for granted. Not just his quirks, but his presence. Even though she had known he was mortal from the incident in Little Asia, a part of her was still convinced that him and Kazuma were immortal in some way. They had always overcome the odds no matter what. When all three of them had been surrounded after she ran from Kazuma's apartment, they had taken down the men gracefully and almost effortlessly. But she was forced to face it again, this time it was final. It was his end. He didn't get a finale. He had made his own end for her finale.

Why?

Always wanting to see her smiling, he had even tried to lighten the mood when he was bleeding. What kind of psycho did that? Him. He did that. That psycho did that. Olivia had remembered how unhinged he had become when someone threatened her life. The man's screams and cries could still be heard in the recesses of her mind. Even now, she thought that if she hadn't stopped him, he would've point blank killed that man. There were so many things that she hadn't been able to learn about him; his past, his childhood, his family, and more. Olivia covered her mouth and closed her eyes, inhaling a shaky breath.

The memories of her holding onto his hand to help him write English slammed themselves to the front. He had so desperately wanted to learn English. He had tried over and over to write her name. Olivia had been so proud of him for making such bounds and leaps as he had in their learning. Their time was precious. Had he not admitted that he wanted to learn English, she would've never thought of him as the inquisitive type other than just joking around. How many times had he wanted to learn throughout his life? Someone who looked like him and acted like him would be laughed at by most people for wanting to learn something like English. Not to mention, if he wasn't a delinquent, he would've known some English, but he was bordering on absolutely none.

Why didn't I spend more time teaching him?

Olivia remembered the smile that turned into a frown when she came out in the American nurse's outfit. Most of the time he was the one that would end up playing tricks on her, but that time it had been the other way around. Had she known that his end would go the way it had, if there hadn't been any way to prevent it no matter how hard she tried she would've just worn the stupid nurse's outfit. They weren't a couple and it would've gotten him to shut up eventually. Olivia put her forehead against her knees again. Never in a million years did she think that she would regret putting on a nurse costume for a—a friend.

Why couldn't I just give him the stupid Christmas present?

Speaking of Christmas presents, he had been so shocked that she had gotten him one and even one that he even enjoyed. When Kazuma had pulled her from him, she had seen that he was still wearing it. Not once did he replace it for the old one. He had truly appreciated it. Why didn't she get him more throughout their time together? It seemed like he was always getting her things. He got her the Bun-chan. He chipped in for the takoyaki maker. He got her the album and a huge amount of film. Besides the Bun-chan being from a crane game, none of those things were cheap. Price didn't matter to her anyway. She loved the Bun-chan just as much as she did the film and the takoyaki maker. Now, just the thought of making takoyaki in it or taking another picture devastated her. He wasn't the only one that she had ever enjoyed takoyaki with. Multiple times, she had enjoyed it with Kazuma. Perhaps, with time she would be able to use her takoyaki maker and take pictures again without the thought making more tears pour from her eyes.

Why do I take people for granted?

Olivia stopped instantly. What about… a funeral? Would they have one for him? She had never been to a Japanese funeral, but she heard it was supposed to be more involved than an American one. Would they even be able to recover his… body… from where it had been at? Would the person that shot him leave it there to rot? Olivia wasn't sure if she wished that they would so that there was something to grab and give honor to or if it would be better to not have one at all. All people deserved to be honored nevertheless though. If they did end up having a full-on funeral for him, would she be invited? Just because she was in an alliance with the Tojo Clan didn't mean that she would be able to be a part of an intimate ceremony such as a… funeral. Just because she was allowed at the meetings meant nothing; that was business. If she was invited, would she go? It would be the last time she'd be able to see him before he— The thought of his picture being displayed for everyone to see with that stupid smirk on his face sent her into another frenzy of sobs.

This is all my fault. If he hadn't had been trying to save me, Kazuma would've been able to carry him.

The next session of thoughts was interrupted when something was set down next to her on the bed. Thankful for the distraction, she looked over and saw some rice in a small bowl. In front of it was another cup of tea. Her tired and strained eyes turned and watched Kazuma sit down on the bed across from her. With everything that she said and the tiredness from her eyes, it was so difficult to look at him. Kazuma deserved an apology. Her lips just couldn't form it. Truly, she knew that he wasn't to blame for anything. She was. She was the one that was trying to be protected. In that, they had lost someone precious. Someone irreplaceable. Brown haired, blue eyed American girls like her were a dime a dozen. Travel to America and there were tons of them. Someone like him though? No. There was only one. Her emotions had done the talking for her once again, and she had said some hurtful things that she couldn't take back. She didn't blame Kazuma if he hated her.

"Eat." Kazuma said and nodded at the rice. "Please."

I'm not really hungry.

"I know you're not hungry, but, please. Eat something."

Her limbs were just as full of lead as her head was, but she managed to nod. She lowered her legs and gently took her cup and placed it on the floor making sure that it didn't spill. That ship had sailed. Having smacked the cup out of Kazuma's hand just hours before, treating another cup gently wouldn't bring the old one back or recant the smack that she had done for such a caring gesture. The bowl of rice was still warm, and she stabbed at it. Just because Kazuma asked was the only reason that she was even going to attempt to eat. Nothing about her body needed or desired the food that she was about to put in her stomach. She took a bit of rice in her chopsticks and put it in her mouth. It wasn't as tasty as Kazuma's rice usually was, but she understood why. Whatever this place was didn't have everything that he had back at his apartment. Even still, he managed to make the rice good.

"This place is a safehouse." Kazuma explained. "We have one in Kamurocho too. It isn't much, but it's got all the essentials. You won't be cold."

Again, worried for me. Why won't you just worry about yourself for once? Please… Please for the love of God just worry about yourself for once. You're important too.

"With how weak you are right now, I'm more concerned about you."

Don't be.

"I can't help it." Kazuma huffed a laugh, but she could tell it was fake. Who could laugh in this situation?

Kazuma… I'm sorry. I didn't mean those things I said. I don't hate you. I couldn't to be honest.

"Even if you don't hate me… I hate me." Kazuma admitted. "I shouldn't have had to choose. I should've been stronger."

You're only one person.

"I don't have many friends… I shouldn't have had to choose between them." Kazuma cleared his throat and sniffed, looking down at his rice.

I miss him so much…

"I know." Kazuma sighed and looked down at his own rice. "… I do too."

What am I supposed to do now? What are we supposed to do now?

"We're going to take it one step at a time. That's all we can do. M-Majima-san… he… he gave us some information that we can go off of. It's small but knowing that Shimano is brandishing an Omi pin puts things into perspective a little more."

And Kazama-san?

"I'm not sure about Kazama-san yet. I can't really make a decision until I know for sure." Now it was Kazuma's turn to pick at his rice. "If I'm being honest, I'm worried. Things aren't looking good."

Olivia sighed and saw him look up. She tried to give him a smile, but all that came out was an awkward quirk of her lips that looked exactly what it was; a pitiful attempt at a fake smile.

Do you think we're going to lose this… whatever this is?

"I don't know. There is one thing I'm wondering about that I think the Chairman really needs to know."

What?

"About that Ethan Connors. You're right. He's had an opportunity to kill you multiple times. When you were taken, he saved you. Then he saved all of us."

Then he set off the bombs. You saw that too. I know you did.

"That's where things get tricky. There's no denying he saved us. We would've been in trouble if he hadn't come around when he did. If they can call in helicopters like that, they would've been able to continuously call reinforcements in until we were worn down. But he did set off those bombs."

Yeah… He did. I was hoping that I was wrong, and he wasn't behind the bombings.

"I was hoping you were wrong too. But I don't know your friend very well, but he didn't look like the crazy person that you described back at the meetings."

You're right. He didn't.

"You looked at peace when you two looked at each other. Were you seeing the old side of him?"

Olivia nodded. Kazuma's uncanny ability to know her thoughts and feelings really came in handy at times like this. If she opened her mouth to speak, she knew for sure that she'd end up crying again. It was enough work to just shovel the food in her mouth. Every time she would put her arm down, it was such a chore to pick it back up again. Once she returned to America, her family would be able to tell something was wrong with her. They had seen a sort of behavior like this when everything happened with Keahi. They would be in for a shock with this degree though. When that time came, she'd have to spill the beans about everything. While not liking that he was a gangster, they would be grateful that he had been so worried about protecting her, even then.

I hadn't seen that side of Ethan since before his father died.

"Yeah, you said that he went a little crazy when his dad died, right? It must've been a shock to see that."

It was, but that only worries me more.

"Does that mean that he's not fully gone?"

I don't know, but even still… even if my Ethan is in there somewhere, he's done some terrible things.

"It's going to be hard to redeem himself if he is in there."

I'm not sure if he can.

"Agreed." Kazuma smiled. "Look at you, you said you weren't hungry, but you managed to finish almost all of your rice."

…

"It isn't anything to be embarrassed about." He stood up with a grunt and poured the rest of his rice into her bowl making sure to avoid knocking over her cup. "There. You need it more than I do right now."

I'm… not too sure about that.

"I am. You've… been through a lot. Go ahead and eat up. Then get some sleep."

Olivia looked up at him and nodded. Sleeping sounded like a good idea. There wasn't much in ways of recreation in this safehouse, but she just found that she'd be sleeping most of the night and probably the next day away anyway. She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes when she heard the water running. She quickly opened her eyes again and wiped her eyes. How many tears can one person cry in such a small amount of time?

"Hey. Olivia." Kazuma began but didn't turn his back to her. Had she not been paying attention, she would've missed it. His hands were gripping onto the edge of the sink so hard his knuckles were turned white. "I'm sorry. I should've been stronger."

…

Olivia looked down at her bowl. It wasn't only her friend that had… he was Kazuma's friend too. All that time where she had been hitting him and yelling how much she hated him settled into her throat and stomach. It was pathetic, but she hadn't even thought about how he may have been feeling about the whole situation. Back at the alleyway, he had even started to put up an argument to the plan. Eventually agreeing didn't mean that he liked it. She had been the bad friend here. Forcing her tired body to move, she left the bowl at the bed and went up behind him, wrapping her arms around his abdomen. He had placed his around her for safety, the least she could do was return the favor in comfort. She placed her forehead against his back.

"…Sorry." Olivia managed a hoarse whisper.

Kazuma exhaled a shaking sigh. After a few seconds, he patted her hands, but she just got closer and hugged him tighter. With the tough time that she was having, he wasn't likely to break down in front of her. She knew though, she could tell from the gestures, the tone, and the body language that he was fighting it so hard. Telling him it was okay would do nothing, he wouldn't let it out until he wanted to. There was no taking back the words that she had said to make him feel worse. That's all they were. Words to make him hurt as much as she was hurting. Olivia hadn't even stopped to think that he was already hurting to begin with.

Like the time in the snow… I did the same thing with him.

When Kazuma made the move to turn around, she finally let go and she wasted no time in wrapping her arms around him again. The warmth reminded her that he was still here. One of her friends still remained. His arms wrapping back around her brought her back enough to realize that she wasn't alone. Someone was there for her. They were both broken and in pain. To different degrees, yes, but the same emotion was still there either way. In times like this especially, friendships were tested. Olivia loved Kazuma. He was a good man and an even better friend. When his hand pressed her face gently into his chest, she started to cry again without any warning.

"It's okay." Kazuma said. "Cry as much as you need to."

Thank you, Kazuma. Thank you for everything. For being you. For being here for me. Just… for existing. Thank you.

"You're here for me as much as I am for you."

What did she do to deserve a friend like him? Someone that would be by her side even after she had said such terrible things. She had had two friends like that… and she had taken one for granted. Olivia stared at her now empty bowl of rice, gripping onto the sides. It seemed that no matter what she did or thought, there was always something that reminded her of him. If this what it meant to-… then it was no reason that some people hated it.

"Are you done?"

"O-Oh… yes." Olivia croaked out, handing the bowl to Kazuma's outstretched hand. In the time that she had been relaxing on the bed listening to the radio that he had turned on, she managed to calm down enough and drink enough tea to where her voice was usable again. "Thank you."

"It's no trouble." He said and Olivia closed her eyes as she listened to the radio. "I have something to tell you."

"Hm?"

"I'll be stepping out every now and again."

"W-What? No."

"Don't worry." Kazuma said. "I promise you, I'll come back."

…That's what he said too. And he didn't.

"I'm better prepared. And I'm not going to be alone. Kashiwagi-san is going to meet me here and we're heading out."

"Why?"

"We're going to go and tell the Chairman about everything that happened. It seemed your friend Ethan and us caused enough of a hinderance to where the Omi and the other faction have pulled back for now. We've got to take advantage of this while we can."

"Where you be going?"

"…"

"Kazuma. Where you be going?" Olivia asked, firmer this time.

"…Grabbing some people and staking out the Omi headquarters."

"What?!" Olivia exclaimed. "You get killed!"

"Don't worry."

"Too late!" Olivia said.

Please… don't make me lose the two most important people in my life.

"We're going to see if… if Majima-san's information checks out." Kazuma said, trying to calm her. Wasn't working very well.

"Why it wouldn't!?"

"I'm sure it would. But it's just a step. The beginning. We need to check all of it while we can." Kazuma explained and sighed. "I… I don't want what information Majima-san told us to go to waste."

… I don't want that either. But… this mission is dangerous.

"Everything the yakuza do is dangerous." Kazuma sighed. "But, Olivia. I will come back to you."

"…You better."

"Listen. This is important." When Kazuma was sure that she was paying enough attention, he continued. "I'm leaving the key with you. It's the only one. That way someone won't be able to come in here unless you let them. Don't go anywhere right now. Okay?"

"Yes."

"It isn't exactly the most secret method, but three knocks, one knock, and two and let the person in."

"Huh?"

"Three, one, two. That's the only way we know of right now to identify each other. It changes regularly, but that's it right now."

"You're serious?" Olivia asked. It felt like a secret handshake or a knock to get into a clubhouse. She understood. Having too many keys could make things difficult. With this shack being far out as it was though, who would be able to just randomly guess what place a key went to. Unless the someone was attacked for the key specifically. It just seemed funny that the almighty Tojo Clan couldn't think of a better way to secure a safehouse a ways from Sotenbori. "You are."

"Yeah. Please… listen to me. Okay?"

"Yes. Please, come back."

Kazuma smiled and pet her hair.
"I will. I shouldn't be gone too long. But I won't leave until tomorrow morning. So, get some sleep."

Olivia nodded and got into the shockingly comfortable bed with her back against the wall. Kazuma stayed up despite her trying to get him to lay down too since he'd need it for that mission thing he was going on, but he had insisted on staying awake.
"Goodnight, Olivia."

Wait for me, he said. Listen to me, he said. I shouldn't be gone too long, he said. What the hell was four days then?! Kazuma… you are okay, aren't you? You promised me.

These four days had been the most stressful than she had known in a long time. Yakuza lived a life of danger, so it wasn't shocking that they'd be gone for days at a time. She had even been warned that he'd be gone. Was four days a short amount of time for yakuza? What the hell would a long time be then?

Forever. Never coming back.

Olivia stopped her pacing and stared down at the floor. The four days had started the same. Each time she'd open her eyes and look around; hoping, praying, begging that it wasn't true. That it all had been a dream. A horrible, horrible dream. When the safehouse became more visible, and her brain had made her face reality. Made her face that this had happened, and he was gone, the crying would start. The same crying that she had experienced since she heard the gunshot. It would last anywhere from five minutes to an hour. Simple actions throughout the day would make it come back and she'd start crying again. It amazed her how much a simple thing like a groan of frustration could be attached to so many memories of someone who'd left. She wondered how long it would take before she would be able to wake up without crying just moments after. Would there be a time where that would happen? Or would she be forever doomed to have her sobbing become a part of her morning routine?

If Kazuma was there, he would've lectured her for hours about taking care of herself. In the four days, she had probably eaten three times and about a half bowl of rice at that. This time, she didn't have an appetite at all. From everything that happened and Kazuma leaving, she couldn't gain much of one let alone keep it long enough for her to eat a bowl of rice. Drinking though, she did a lot of that. Water and tea were the things that were keeping her sustained. The radio was the only thing keeping her company and to ward away the loneliness. At least once a day, she would find herself in the shower. She cried a lot there too. All the clothes available were men's clothes—obviously, but it was better than putting on her own clothes over and over. Hopefully sometime soon, she'd be able to wash her clothes. Having on big dress shirts all the time got a little uncomfortable after a while. Olivia wasn't sure how her friend could do it.

Olivia wished for the hundredth time as she stared at the darkness from the small window on the upper part of wall that there was a phone in there that way he could at least call her and let her know if he was alright, what he was doing, and if he was on his way back. Even if he didn't call and it was Kashiwagi-san, just hearing someone else's voice would be a godsend right now. Now more than ever, she hated being alone. It wasn't the night that scared her, it was being alone with her thoughts that were the worst part. Having a phone in a place like this was dangerous too and she knew that. Just being alone with her thoughts she was starting to feel was even more dangerous. With her eighteenth cup of tea in her hand, she sat on the bed and stared at the radio that she kept on practically all the time. Sometimes it would help her fall asleep. Other times it would rouse her from her slumber. It was a gamble, but with nothing else to do, it was one that she would bet on every night.

A song came on the radio that reminded her of one in that Japanese Christmas movie they had watched in Kazuma's apartment. She'd give anything to go back to small moments like that. Enjoy them more. Savor them. Take more pictures. Smile more. Laugh more. Do everything more. Just… live. Although, she knew deep down at no matter how much she laughed and smiled and lived… it wouldn't be enough with this sort of ending. Olivia closed her eyes and started to cry again. She put her cup down on the bed and covered her face with both of her hands letting her shoulders shake from the sobs. The small cries weren't too bad. They could get done and over with in five minutes without too much aftermath. These ones though; when they set in, she knew she was in for trouble. They always took her breath and voice away and left her heart and head aching. With these wailings, she would learn that there would always be one—two if she was lucky—intermissions where her brain would let her have a break and breathe.

This one hit hard. This fit felt exactly like the pain she had felt and the anguish she had heard upon the gunshot. Since she had arrived at the safehouse, she had only one other fit like this and she couldn't be more thankful. These were the worst. They would leave her with a migraine and the desperate need to sleep. After this, she would always have nightmares and have a hard time remaining asleep despite her desperate need to get it. At her intermission, three knocks came at the door. Then one. Then two. It took Olivia a moment as it had stopped her sobs right in its tracks. She waited and the pattern came back, more urgent this time. Right! She grabbed her cup and headed to the door, unlocking it. A smile came to her face, so relieved to have Kazuma back.

"Yo. What's up?" Olivia heard when she opened the door. Olivia dropped her cup and it crashed to the floor. "Kitten."