Tony didn't sleep much anymore. He was tired of the nightmares and waking up usually thinking he was back there and being too terrified to do anything. Sometimes, on better nights, he woke up from a nightmare just feeling worthless and guilty for dumping all of his problems onto everyone good he ever met or turning his life into this. So he would stay up and curl under his blankets and wait for morning.

He didn't really feel like leaving the house. He wanted to stay at home and watch tv while signing with Clint and Natasha and just lay on the couch all day. But they went on their date night and he promised to go to group therapy and there was only so many times he could promise to go tomorrow. He put on a thick, dark shirt to hide the arc reactor. They packed him into the car and drove down to the community center. It was a rundown building with graffiti covering the walls, but they had large signs outside welcoming visitors.

Clint and Natasha were going out shopping, said they would be back as soon as he his group ended. They gave him the room number and he waved them goodbye. The building looked nicer on the inside than it did on the outside, all the halls were clean with colorful banners and flyers on the walls.

He entered the room his group was supposed to be in, frowning at all of the posters with their inspirational messages. There was a table in the corner with cookies and coffee and all the chairs in the room were placed in a circle. Of course, chairs. He walked up to one, frowning. There was nowhere else to sit in the room. The circle was filling up, everyone taking their seats and waiting for the meeting to begin. He looked around at everyone quickly before pushing his chair back quickly and sitting on the ground. He desperately ignored the shiver he got when he touched the cold metal of the chair and the confused, curious looks from everyone else.

"Alright everyone, my name is Tyrone Williams. I'm a therapist over at the VA. I see some new faces and some old faces, this is great." A man said, standing up to address the group. "Why don't we go around the room and say our names, why we're here, and how we're feeling today." And then it started, everyone stood up to say who they were, what trauma happened to land them in a PTSD support group, and the varying degrees of how they were feeling. They went down the line until it was Tony's turn. He stood up, glaring at all of them because they kept staring at him.

"My name is Tony." He said. He hoped Agent Hill was right, that talking to strangers was easier and made it better. "I was kidnapped. I guess I'm feeling fine today." Tony said, sitting down. That was a half lie, he was feeling tired and empty. He would prefer a good day where he felt happy and normal, but he would rather this than how he felt on his bad days when he was curled up under his bed terrified, anxious, and his mind telling him he was hopeless and will always be broken. This was fine compared to that.

The group had every kind of person. Some were older and others were just teenagers like him, with every sort of tragedy and story to tell. He listened to most of the stories, people giving somewhat detailed accounts of what happened and how they felt before and how they feel now. A lot of the stories Tony understood. Where people were hurt and still spend their days still afraid it will happen again. A lot of people talk about how they managed to regain control of their lives and stop living in fear. Tony didn't much care about those ones, they seemed a bit preachy and he didn't think he could have that.

"If I have to listen to one more of these happy 'never give up' speeches I'm going to throw up." The woman sitting next to him said. Tony looked over at her. She was older than him by a few years and bored, tapping her feet. Tony just shrugged. "It's your turn." She whispered again a few moments later. Tony looked up quickly, everyone was looking at him and waiting. He stood up slowly.

"Um. I don't know what to say." Tony said. He avoided everyone's gaze and instead looked out the window.

"You can say whatever you like, Tony. Most people, on their first day like to talk a little about themselves. Some like to jump right in and talk about what happened to them and how it makes them feel." Tyrone said, smiling up to him. "Do whatever feels comfortable." Tony nodded.

"Well, first I don't feel like being here. I just promised my um…. parents… I would come." Tony muttered. He could just talk about his hobbies or how well he's doing in school, but that felt like a copout and he hadn't gotten enough sleep recently to think of anything other than what happened to talk about. He talked to Agent Hill, he talked to Dr. Moreno, and sometimes he even talked to the team so he would talk here. "Well, uh. I was walking home from my friend's house and I was grabbed off the street. They drugged me so I woke up in a basement, tied to a chair with my head covered so I couldn't move or see. They were just…. two guys who liked hurting people. They left me down there for hours and everything hurt. The first time they came down they broke my arm, it was already hurt, but they just kept squeezing it and I couldn't do anything but lean away into what was tying me down. It hurt, but it took my mind off of my arm. Then they knocked me out and when I woke up again I was just left sitting there. For hours, tied down and in the dark and I honestly thought I was down there for days. When they came back, they dragged me out of the basement, into the rest of the house. They shot me twice in the kitchen and then left me there. I did manage to set the place on fire and then, um, emergency responders arrived and I was rushed to the hospital." Tony muttered quickly. He tried to pretend he was telling a story he read in a book or saw on tv, not something that happened to him. But the flashes of memories kept playing in his mind. It was a bad idea, he knew it was better to stay home and do nothing. He didn't want to do this.

"And how do you feel about all of that, Tony?" Tyrone said, catching Tony's attention. He looked around quickly at the rest of the group, waiting for him to speak.

"I don't know how I feel. Just like it's taking over my life and I either feel scared or anxious or sad or nothing. Then there are the times I feel happy and normal and I think I'm getting better but then I'm just hiding away again because I'm scared it'll happen again." Tony said, watching the other people in the group nod along slowly.

"And how are you feeling right now, after you shared with us your experience?" Tyrone asked calmly. Tony shrugged.

"Tired, I guess. Angry. Little bit." Tony muttered.

"Anyone else have something they want to add?" Tyrone asked, looking around the group. The woman who sat next to Tony raised her hand. "Yes, Lei."

She stood up and looked at Tony, smiling calmly. "Little man, that was some hardcore shit. Of course you feel scared and angry. But you set those bitch's house on fire and got away, you did something. You're capable of saving yourself. Understand?" She said firmly. Tony nodded.

"Thank you, Lei. The language was a wonderful touch." Tyrone laughed. He turned to Tony. "Is that everything you wanted to say?" Tony nodded and sat back on the ground.

Lei talked next. During a home invasion a few years ago her father was killed. She said she was angry that the men who did it had gotten away and sometimes still afraid they would come back for her and her mother. She said she was coping well, though. Tony liked her, she cursed a lot.

Once the meeting, Clint and Natasha were waiting outside in the parking lot. He jumped in the car and waited for them to drive off. Nat nodded at his seatbelt, sighing he put it on.

"How did it go?" Clint asked once they started driving. Tony shrugged. "Did you talk at all?"

"Yeah, I just gave the civilian safe version of what happened and sat on the floor the whole time." Tony said, looking out the window. "All they had were chairs."

"Oh, sorry about that." Natasha said, pulling up in front of the apartment. "Do you want us to find you a different group?" Tony stopped to think. He really didn't want to describe what happened again to a whole new set of strangers and what that girl said really did make him feel better. But he didn't like it, looking back at the meeting as a whole.

"No, I just don't want to go anymore." Tony muttered. "You guys don't have to do date night anymore if you want." He walked into the elevator in their building, waiting for one of them to push the number four button.

"Nah, we actually had a great time doing normal things." Clint said as the doors closed. "We went to some Italian place for dinner, then ice cream after, and then went to the park and loosened all the screws on the benches so they'll fall apart once someone sits on them." Clint laughed. Tony looked at Nat accusingly, she just shrugged.

"If you don't want to go back, we won't make you." She said. As soon as they reentered the apartment Tony went to his room, collapsing on his bed and curled up in his blankets. He felt like this was where he should have been all day, not doing anything. He just wanted to be wrapped in his warm blanket cocoon. He had felt a weird numb feeling all day and it felt natural to just lay down and block out the world.

"What do you want for dinner?" Clint asked from his bedroom door. Tony didn't bother answering, he didn't even feel like eating. He laid there for a few more minutes, waiting for Clint for leave. He didn't, Clint just came into the room and sat next to him on the bed, stroking his hair and waiting for him started feeling normal again.