Clarke groaned and fisted the sheets in her hands, pressing her face deep into the bed. She felt feverish and heady; the room was spinning.

"Shh..." Lexa murmured, her hands moving over Clarke's bare skin.

She gasped and whined. "Lexa..."

"Breathe, Clarke."

"This. Fucking. Sucks!"

Lexa used the last of the salve from the jar and gently spread it over Clarke's backside and down her thighs, trying to soothe the angry red, tender flesh.

Clarke had never been sunburned before in her life. She had no idea it could hurt this much or make her feel this sick. She spent an hour in a cold tub, trying to cool off, before Lexa convinced her that she was only making it worse.

"Poor little pale Sky Girl..."

"I hate you," she grunted, muffled by the mattress. "This is all your fault. Your stupid insistence on going there today..."

Lexa's hands stilled in a way that made Clarke's stomach drop.

"Do you...do you regret going?"

She sounded so nervous, so vulnerable.

Clarke forgot about the pain she was in and lifted her head, meeting those worried green eyes.

"Never," she said strongly, willing the other girl with ever fiber of her being to know just how much she meant that. "Today was...it was perfect, Lexa. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Except for...you know...this part. I could have done without this part."

Lexa sighed, relieved, and continued to spread the salve over Clarke's back. She changed the subject quickly. "Pliya is a very good healer. Salves like these are her specialty. She assured me you will feel much better in a day or two."

"I miss Enock," Clarke said moodily.

"You know he is away working with your mother and the other healers to prepare for..."

Lexa couldn't finish that. She didn't know what the preparation was for at this moment. Would there be war? Was it a trick? Was this a true chance – against all hope?

Abby was working with Nyko to gather the largest group of healers that they could and to use it as time to train them in the medical knowledge that Skaikru had to offer. The urgency was to prepare them for treating war wounds, whether or not that war would come. It meant more time away from Arkadia for the Chancellor, and Kane was in Polis, but they both felt confident in being absent for the short while with how stable their community was now. They had yet to hold an election because of the chaotic outside pressure. Last Clarke knew from Kane, her mother was still intent on giving up the seat to him.

"I still miss Enock," Clarke grumbled. "Pliya can go suck-"

"Clarke."

"I. Am. In. Pain."

"I understand that very well. You have repeated yourself many times in the last few hours."

"I really don't think you get it though."

"You're as red as a river dosydiku, Clarke. I understand."

She huffed and looked back at Lexa with an open mouth. "Are you insulting me right now? Really? Now?"

Lexa covered her mouth with the back of her hand, desperately trying not to laugh. Clarke's face was flaming red to match the rest of her body. Clarke smacked her hands away and rolled off the bed, only to regret it instantly because the sheets against her skin was like rubbing sandpaper over an open wound.

She groaned loudly and stood up, keeping her legs apart and her arms slightly lifted, so that no part of her body would come into contact. Her skin was raw and she felt like she was on fire. The heat seeped deep below the surface in such an achingly uncomfortable way that drained her of all strength.

"Can you just throw me out the window and be done with it? I can't stand this for another second."

Lexa rolled her eyes and got to her feet as well. She reached for a cup of water and a second jar of salve. She'd only covered Clarke's back so far, the front had yet to be touched. She looked pityingly at Clarke, who was trying not to move, and kissed the reddened tip of her nose sweetly.

"No. Now, drink," she said, lifting the cup to Clarke's chapped lips.

"I'm not thirsty," she protested.

"You know better than I do that your body needs it."

"I don't care. I feel sick to my stomach."

"This will help. This and the salve. Now, drink."

Clarke accepted the water this time and allowed Lexa to gently guide her back onto the bed. She grunted and groaned at every movement until she was finally laid flat on her back and refused to move an inch more.

"I look like I've been roasted alive."

Lexa hummed under her breath. "You are far too undercooked to eat."

Clarke's mouth dropped in disbelief.

Lexa could not stop her laughter this time, but she ended Clarke's angry rant before it began by smoothing the salve over the raw skin of her chest. Clarke inhaled sharply at the cool relief the salve brought, improved greatly by Lexa's knowing touch.

"Does it help?"

"A little," Clarke mumbled, closing her eyes, trying to take whatever relief she could.

Lexa's hands slid over her breasts, coating her in the slick, clear ointment. It smelled much better than Clarke thought it would – a fragrant herbal flowery scent. If only she weren't in such goddamn agony right now...this could have been a very different kind of moment.

"Talk to me."

"About what?"

"What happened tonight. I need to get my mind off this misery and we need to talk about what you plan to do."

Lexa spread more of the cooling salve over Clarke's belly. She could feel the unnatural amount of heat emanating from Clarke's burned skin, warming her own fingers.

"Did you believe her?" Lexa asked quietly, focused on her task, while Clarke kept her eyes firmly shut.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because she showed you her weakness."

"It could be a lie," Lexa reasoned.

"I don't think she's telling us everything, but her son...that's real."

"How do you know?"

"My mother," Clarke said simply. "The look in Mara's eyes tonight? I've seen that before. Too many times."

"It does make sense," Lexa admitted. "Why Nia hid her all this time, that she would ensure her lineage by having the boy taken and raised by Azgeda Elders. If she did not believe Mara fit..."

"But that leads to our next problem."

Lexa nodded even though Clarke couldn't see her.

"Yes. If I choose to believe she is who she says she is, that her words were true, then she is not truly Queen. She has no power over her people. It is the Elders who rule now until her son is old enough to take over."

"Which means her alliance and loyalty to you amounts to practically nothing," Clarke continued for her. "What good is a Queen who is not Queen?"

"Nia never weakened Mara's stature because that would have weakened her grandchild's position as well. As far as Azgeda people believe...Mara is their Queen. They just believe she is acting through the Elders. They would never accept such an arrangement otherwise."

"Could you put her back on the throne? Remove the Elders?"

"I believe so. But..." she trailed off and when she didn't speak again for a moment, Clarke opened her eyes, peering up at her.

"What?"

"I doubt her son will survive," Lexa admitted. "It is possible that they would rather see him dead than fall into the enemy's hands. If her child dies, Mara will never abide her oath, and I will have put the next Azgeda tyrant in power with everything she needs to move against me. The cycle begins once more."

Clarke nodded. "It's a risk."

Lexa scoffed in amusement. "And you are about to tell me why I should risk it."

"No."

"No?"

"You already know why it's a risk worth taking."

Lexa sighed deeply, knowingly.

"Peace."

They were quiet for a while as Lexa slowly and methodically coated every inch of Clarke's sunburned body with the calming salve. Clarke focused on the sound of Lexa's breathing above her and the feeling of her gentle fingertips sliding over her inflamed skin. She couldn't think about Mara and Azgeda anymore tonight. It'd been a long day and an even longer night. She was also excruciatingly hot and uncomfortable, her own flesh burning her from the outside in.

"...what's a dosydiku?" Clarke asked lazily, breaking the silence.

Lexa hummed softly, taking a moment before she replied, "A water creature that has many tentacles and can be quite ferocious when it's hunting, but we have nets to catch them and they taste quite good once fully cooked."

"Tentacles? Like...like a squid?"

"Yes!" Lexa said, eyes lighting up with recognition. "I'd forgotten the term in gonasleng, but yes, dosydiku means squid."

"So you called me a slimy, tentacle, freakish looking sea creature?"

"They're not just from the ocean, Clarke. They populate our rivers in many areas."

She smacked her away again and Lexa sat back in exasperation.

"Clarke..."

"Get your hands off me!"

"You're being absurd."

"You called me a squid!"

Lexa narrowed her eyes. "I will call you worse in a moment."

"Fucking try," Clarke spat, glaring at her fiercely.

Lexa tried to be even the slightest bit annoyed, but it wasn't working. She looked down at that pitiful red sunburned face and felt nothing but adoration. She couldn't be upset with Clarke when she looked so miserable. She leaned down and brushed her lips ever so lightly against Clarke's, never breaking their gaze.

"I am sorry I said you look like a river dosydiku, Clarke."

She huffed grudgingly. "That's better."

"You look like a nepropid really."

Lexa collapsed into a fit of giggles while Clarke loudly and profanely cursed her existence.

Deep down, Clarke knew she really couldn't argue with Lexa on this one. A lobster was fair comparison.

"I cannot believe you."

Lexa walked ahead of her, up the hillside.

"It is twice as hot as yesterday!"

The guards were behind her and Clarke could just feel their annoyance at having to slow down for her as she made the trek up through a beaten path.

"I am burned from my actual eyelids to places that I didn't even know existed, or really just forgot existed, and you...what do you decide to do? You decide to have a council meeting outdoors! For the first time since I stepped foot in Polis! Today!"

Lexa was fully dressed in her formal Commander garb despite the heat and she made her way through the woods ahead of Clarke without a word. Clarke was sweating profusely from the thick heat and the sun beating down on her from overhead. The situation was made so much worse because she had to have every inch of her covered, long sleeves, pants, and she even draped a hood over her head to shade her face from the sun. She was beyond miserable after a terrible night's sleep and then she woke up this morning only to have Lexa inform her that the council would not be meeting in the throne room, where it was cool and dark and had a lovely breeze, no, no. Today, the day that Clarke's sunburn reached peak points of pain, they would be meeting outside.

Clarke would have strangled Lexa if she hadn't left as quickly as she announced it to attend to some other responsibilities before the meeting.

"What is so goddamn important about being out here instead of indoors, where we usually always are, that would make you think it's okay to subject me to this? I swear, you are the most insu-"

Clarke swallowed the rest of her words and stopped in her tracks. They had reached a shady, wooded clearing. The trees overhead were thick with leaves, overlapping each other, blocking out the majority of the heat from the sun. The grassy clearing was broken up by large, ancient moss covered boulders. It wasn't flat, but stones and hills had been manipulated into something useful. Seating areas, steps, climbing walls, etc. There were large, open spots cleaned out for what was clearly intended for training. The clearing itself opened into a cliff with wide, unobstructed, and breathtaking view of Polis. Lexa's palace rose above the city, at the epicenter of it all. A few feet before the cliff drop, there was a massive, shallow stone well, filled with – what Clarke hoped was – cool, clean water.

But all of this was not the reason why Clarke had shut her mouth so quickly.

On the other side of the clearing, near the most shaded area, were several people putting the finishing touches on a newly built and fully covered pergola. It was long enough to fit seating for all 12 ambassadors and Clarke saw exactly where her seat was because standing by a chair near the middle were two young boys holding what looking like very large fans.

Lexa turned around and simply looked at her.

Clarke was rapidly drowning in shame and she tried to say something, but nothing came out, so she just closed her mouth again hopelessly.

"I accept your apology," Lexa said flatly and raised her eyebrow in a final chastising look before she swept away to talk to some of the ambassadors who had already arrived.

Clarke watched her interact with the others for a moment before finally succumbing to her need to duck and hide. She found her place under the pergola and sat down The boys startled her when they started waving the fans over her, but she quickly settled. It did feel really good to have that breeze on her burning face. She pulled off the hood and rested her head back miserably.

She didn't know how to do this. She didn't know how to let someone take care of her like this. She was the one who did the care-taking, she was the one who looked after everybody. She'd never had someone just...anticipate her needs like Lexa did, protecting her, loving her...

Lexa was a constant paradox. Clarke thought of it all the time, but once again it was smacking her across the face. Lexa was capable of such compassion and tenderness, but she could also be ruthless, dangerous, and extraordinarily violent. How did those two combine in one person? One was the Commander, the other was Lexa, but they still co-existed in one body, in one soul, and they were entwined in the most inexplicable ways.

When Lexa did things like this...tending to her last night by rubbing salve over every inch of Clarke's raw flesh, how she came after her – even after Clarke abandoned her – and rescued her from Nia, how she stayed at her side even when it was dangerous to do so, how she'd brought her dinner the night of the celebration, how she thought to give Clarke back Litta's knife, how she comforted her after every nightmare, how she took Clarke away from the stifling confines of the capital and opened up a piece of her past for Clarke to swim through, how she kissed her, how she made love to her...

Every time Lexa did something so unexpected, something so gentle and tender and loyal...it made Clarke want to melt, want to cry, and it made her angry.

Angry.

Because how dare she.

How dare Lexa let this happen.

How dare she love her like this.

Lexa gave all of herself to Clarke and Clarke almost hated her for it. Almost.

Because how could Lexa give this to her, show her what it was like to be so incredibly loved and cared for, show her what it was like not to do everything on her own, allow her to share burden instead of carrying the weight on her own two shoulders, show her what it was like to rely on someone, to love someone, to need...

How dare she...when she knew, just as Clarke knew...that it would inevitably be ripped from their grasp. What they were, what they would be, it wouldn't last. Their worlds had proved that to them time and again. It was never a matter of if, but when.

Clarke was still holding back the last bits of herself from being consumed so completely by Lexa, just the deepest, darkest parts. The little pieces of yourself in the corners that you locked away, never thinking you'd open them again for anyone. But Lexa had given herself over and in doing so, it took all of Clarke's strength not to fall into it with her. Not to give up every last semblance of self with her.

Because it wouldn't – it couldn't – stay this way.

But then Lexa did dumb fucking things like have a fucking pergola built in a few hours notice and arranged for a miserly sunburned Clarke to have personal aides fanning her in the shade so that she would be as comfortable as possible while attending her duties as ambassador in Lexa's fucking Coalition that was the only thing protecting her people right now.

Clarke sank down in her chair and tried to fight back the tears, covering her eyes with one hand. She was so ashamed and so overwhelmed. All she'd done was act like an ungrateful brat, taking and taking and taking from Lexa and there was never a word of complaint. Lexa just let her.

Clarke decided right then and there that she was going to do much better than this. She was going to be better for Lexa, she was going to be more of what Lexa deserved...or as much of it as she could be because Lexa deserved much more than Clarke believed herself capable of. Damned if she wasn't going to try with everything she had though.

She looked up at the wooden grate above her head, a canvas covering the holes, and wondered just how the hell Lexa thought up some of these over the top, romantic, wonderful things. She'd taken Clarke on a get away to the lake just because she knew she was struggling with her past. She had an entire structure built specifically for the purpose of making Clarke at ease because she knew very well that Lexa never would have bothered to worry about the comfort of the other ambassadors.

"Wanheda..." one of the boys ventured tentatively and she looked at him curiously. "Ena ste kik raun? Du yu gaf sisfou?"

Are you well? Do you require assistance?

He was still fanning her with even strokes, but exchanged worried glances with the other one across from him.

Clarke was confused at first, but then she rubbed her eyes lightly and her hand came away wet. She'd been crying. The boys were at a loss for what to do, there was no one else near enough to see Clarke practically breaking down, the rest of the ambassadors were still arriving and they were grouped near the well, not retreating to the shade as Clarke had immediately done.

Well, if Clarke's embarrassment wasn't complete before, it certainly was now. She had two children worried that she was going to fall to pieces and have their Heda come storming up, demanding an explanation for what they'd done.

She looked at the one who had spoken to her – he couldn't have been more than eight years old, with dark, short cropped hair and delightfully green eyes – and she said, "Nou get yu daun."

Don't worry.

"Ai gaf in moubeda rid op, strik em. Mochof."

I just need some more sleep, little one. Thank you.

He straightened his back with a firm nod, reassured that she wasn't going to end his career with Lexa before it started, and resumed his stoic expression as he fanned her. They both took their task quite seriously, it was a direct order from the Commander after all... They seemed to want to impress her, no matter what she asked.

Clarke smiled, wiping away the last of her tears, and looked over at Lexa who was with Akseli. For all the arguments she had with her advisers, the clan leaders, and the ambassadors, it never affected the people's love for her. Lexa was their Heda, beloved, admired, and worshiped. Clarke wondered if Lexa remembered that, especially during days like this when she was surrounded by opposition and tension at every turn.

Akseli was blustering as usual and Clarke could see Lexa growing more and more impatient by the second having to listen. Maybe it wasn't as obvious to everyone else, Lexa's face was an practiced mask of stone, but Clarke saw the way she was holding herself, the tension in her body, the way her hands flexed behind her back – all signs pointed to an increasingly exasperated Lexa, but she wouldn't let it show. Not today. She was not the Blood Commander today, but instead the Peace Making Heda.

It was odd seeing all the ambassadors in this grove. They were secluded and there were more than enough guards surrounding the area, but it was still strange to see them out in the open instead of the throne room or the war chambers as she was so accustomed.

It brought her back to her original grumblings, though now it was far less resentful and just pure curiosity. Why were they here? Why did Lexa bring them all the way up here? What did she want to do here that couldn't be done in the privacy and security of her palace?

Jarunn came to Lexa's rescue, inserting herself in between the Commander and Akseli, taking him aside to speak with others, freeing Lexa at last.

They hadn't spoken about Jarunn since the night Lexa told her what their history was. There was no need to. Clarke knew where she stood with Lexa. If there was one thing she did not worry about in this world right now, it was Lexa's loyalty. Any bitterness or jealousy she felt towards Jarunn no longer existed, not even a hint of it. She was firmly in Lexa's past, now a trusted ambassador, and that was all. Actually...it was better that way. Lexa deserved to have more people she trusted surrounding her.

Lexa approached her under the pergola and, out of the corner of her eye, Clarke saw the boys stiffen nervously, still fanning her with the same fastidiousness as before. She smiled again, she couldn't help it. They weren't afraid of Lexa, exactly, they were just in awe of her. Clarke felt an immense sense of pride and love for Lexa knowing that this is how she made her people feel. Safe. Awed. Devoted.

She definitely identified with those feelings.

"How are you faring?" Lexa asked, standing in front of her with her arms at her side.

"I'm fine," Clarke said quickly, still mortified by how she'd complained the whole way up the mountain side... She didn't even know how to apologize for it yet. Every attempt she tried to formulate in her head seemed pitiful. "When do you want to start?"

"Soon," Lexa replied, seating herself in the Trikru chair next to her. "So, you wanted to know why we're here...outdoors...yes?"

Clarke tried to swallow the stone in her throat, guiltier than ever. "Lexa, I didn't-"

"Mara will be brought here shortly," she said, cutting Clarke off. "I want her to present her situation to the ambassadors so that they understand my next decision fully."

"Your next decision?"

Lexa looked around casually, or what appeared to be casual, to see who might be able to overhear them. There were only the two boys fanning Clarke within earshot, but that didn't mean they were safe. There were still eyes on them both from every side. Furtive, disapproving glances and whispers at seeing Clarke and Lexa sitting together alone like that.

Lexa didn't seem too bothered by what they thought, but she still feigned an air of diffidence around Clarke that she did not have in the slightest when they were alone. Clarke wasn't bothered by it and she maintained her own composure. The difference between them in public and them in private was just common sense and didn't need an explanation.

"Mara needs to prove herself," Lexa said. "We have seen that the royal mark was replicated on an impostor before so that is no longer evidence. We need more."

"Nia's dead. What more proof can she offer? Especially if she was hidden all this time?"

"She will fight."

Clarke frowned, not liking the sound of that one bit. "What?"

"It is a test. Azgeda royalty are raised to know many forms of combat and are expertly skilled with a variety of weapons. They have a very distinct style of fighting and are known for their prowess. I will have her prove this. If she fails, we will know the truth, that this is just another elaborate ploy or..."

"Or she will actually prove herself to you and the rest of the 12 clans that she is the heir to the Ice Nation throne," Clarke finished for her with an understanding nod.

"My decision to work with her or execute her will be clearer after that."

"You would still have her killed? Even if she is the Queen, even if she is telling the truth?"

Lexa was uncomfortable. "I have not decided yet. But, Clarke, even if everything she says is true...she still holds no power. It still means war. Just a different kind."

"It could be a much easier battle."

"Yes, and then five years from now Azgeda marches on Polis again, stronger than ever with their Queen and young Prince, determined to unseat me just as her mother did. Some things will never change, Clarke. She needs me to get her son back, and if she is Mara, then she will do whatever it takes, but what happens after that? When our needs no longer align? I do not know her. I do not know how to anticipate her moves. She is a stranger."

Clarke sighed at that, knowing that Lexa had a point.

"Who's going to fight her?" Then her heart skipped a beat as a most alarming thought occurred to her. "Not you..."

"That is beneath me, Clarke," she answered easily with dismissive wave. "There will be several of my warriors to carry out the test."

"Okay," she sighed, relieved. "Just...promise me something?"

Lexa looked at her curiously.

"Promise me that this whole 'test' to see what kind of warrior she is and prove her identity, isn't just a way for you to scope out her skills and see if you can challenge her to a duel for the kingdom or something equally ridiculous."

Lexa's brow furrowed deeply, perplexed. "What would a soulou gonplei solve? That hardly applies to the situation."

"Good," Clarke said, satisfied, "because there's no chance in hell I would sit by and watch that happen again."

Lexa's eyes softened in understanding and she offered Clarke a tiny smile before slipping back into the expressionless Commander mask. Lexa's trial didn't happen that long ago and the memory was still fresh and painful in both their minds.

"I will try to make sure that does not happen again, Clarke."

"You better."

Lexa side eyed her, but Clarke just held her chin high, pretending like she didn't notice.

There was some stirring and louder voices from the ambassadors. Lexa rose from her chair as they all gradually made their way over to the pergola and found their seats. Drums sounded from a distance, announcing the arrival, and grew closer quickly.

Lexa stood under the sun with her hands clasped behind her back, waiting patiently.

Mara was escorted into the clearing by several guards. She wore the same clothes she did yesterday, but her hair was neater this time, and she was not bound at the wrists. She walked freely, but the guards stayed glued to her side.

She stopped a few feet away from Lexa and bowed from the waist respectfully.

"It is a beautiful day, Commander. I thank you for allowing me to see some of the capital's grandest views as I have never been here before."

"You are here to prove your true identity before myself and the representatives of the 12 clans," Lexa said imperiously.

"How might I do that beyond what I have already said and shown?"

"Begin with your story."