Chapter 36
Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock or anything.
Author's note: Please review! Thank you!
John packed his bags the next morning and before he left he gave Hamish a big tight hug and Sherlock a kiss and also a tight hug.
"I'm going to miss you two. Now, remember, Hamish, I want you to keep trying hard with your exercises. And Sherlock-no dangerous experiments. And Hamish-bed by half nine, am I understood?" John asked, his eyes flicking between Hamish and Sherlock.
"Yes, Captain!" Sherlock said with a smirk and gave a sloppy salute.
"Oi, I'll have no cheek from you, mister." John said with a glint of playfulness in his eyes.
"We'll be good, d-dad! Prromise!" Hamish smiled and gave john another hug.
"Good. And also, your speech seems to have improved well recently, good job, I'm very proud of you." John smiled and ran his hand through Hamish's hair appraisingly.
"You'll miss your train if you don't leave now, John." Sherlock said after checking his clock.
"Ohh, yes, right, got to go! Be good! Love you!" John said and after slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder he gave them a wave and jogged out of the door.
"Just us then, h-hey?" Hamish said, smiling up at Sherlock.
Sherlock smiled back and ruffled Hamish's hair. Neither of them liked it when John wasn't there, but they would be fine, as long as John didn't come back to a mess-they still didn't talk about the great experiment of Hamish's sixth halloween.
"School?" Sherlock said.
"Do I h-have too?" Hamish complained.
"Yes." Sherlock smiled fondly and picked up Hamish's school bag.
CUT!
The first lesson was the second and last PE lesson of the week, Sherlock helped Hamish change into a polo shirt and a pair of tracksuit bottoms and Hamish and he went to the gym hall, Hamish leaning on his crutches, they were the last in.
Once they were in Hamish saw that a trampoline had been set up. Sherlock marched over to the PE teacher, Mr Ford.
"Excuse me." Sherlock said, all of the students were sat quietly on the bench, Mr Ford had already began discussing the lesson.
Mr Ford stopped talking and turned to Sherlock "Yes, Mr Watson-Holmes?" he asked.
"My son will not be able to go on the trampoline, it is your job to find some form of exercise that he can do. I suggest perhaps the exercises his physiotherapist has set." Sherlock said shortly.
"Oh, yes, quite. Well, if Hamish wants to do that, there is a lot of room over there in that corner." Mr Ford pointed at the corner of the hall, Hamish reached his papa's side and whined "But I-I want to have a go on the tr-trampoline."
"You can't, Hamish, you can't hold yourself up without crutches." Sherlock said.
"But that isn't f-fair! We doooon't get to do tramp-olin-ing often!" Hamish scowled.
"It isn't about what is fair, it is about what you are capable of doing in your condition. Would you like to do the exercises on a mat?" Sherlock asked.
"They're bo-ring." Hamish pouted.
"They're helping with your recovery." Sherlock said.
In the end Hamish ended up lying on a blue gym mat doing his exercises, pouting crossly all the while.
Near the end of the lesson Sherlock sighed "Fine."
"Fine w-what?" Hamish asked.
"Fine, you may go on the trampoline, however I shall accompany you. You won't be able to bounce, but I recall you playing in Mycroft and Lestrade's garden with Sam, and you would sit while she bounced you up." Sherlock said.
"Popcorn innn th-the middle?" Hamish asked brightly.
"Yes, that's the name of the game. Do you wish to play that?" Sherlock asked.
"Yes!" Hamish sat up.
Sherlock spoke to Mr Ford about Hamish having a go on the trampoline and the PE teacher agreed.
Hamish approached the side of the trampoline while George climbed off, he was the last person to have a go.
Sherlock came up behind Hamish and lifted him up under his arms, Hamish let himself be lifted, feeling heat flood his cheeks from being picked up by his parent in front of his class, they'd all crowded around the edge of the trampoline, watching and waiting for their turn. Sherlock made it quick and Hamish rolled onto it on his own once he was up and then sat in the middle of the trampoline. Sherlock took his blazer and shoes off and climbed onto the trampoline, trying to keep as much of his dignity as possible.
Hamish sat up properly and put his hands on his knees.
"What are the rules?" Sherlock asked.
"Y-you have to bou-bounce and t-to winnn you have to make m-me let go of my kn-knees." Hamish explained.
"Hmm, that won't work with your grip problems… how about I have to bounce you until you lose balance? You're perfectly capable of sitting up with no problems, so if you fall over then I win?" Sherlock suggested.
"G-good idea!" Hamish smiled and sat up straight while Sherlock started jumping, Hamish managed to stay sitting for quite a while, though he felt Sherlock was going easy on him.
"Papa! B-bounce higher!" he scowled.
Sherlock rolled his eyes and put more effort into jumping and quickly Hamish lost his balance and fell backwards.
CUT!
The day was relatively boring after PE in terms of the lessons and the people around, but Sherlock entertained himself by watching his son learn and interact with teachers and his peers.
When they made their way home, not using a cab but walking, Sherlock said "Would you like to go and get some fish and chips?"
"Mmm yes!" Hamish smiled and they went into a fish and chips shop, Hamish sat on the bench provided for those waiting.
Sherlock ordered their dinner and sat beside Hamish, they talked about considering doing an experiment with potatoes as they waited for their food to be ready, once it was Sherlock picked up the bag and he and Hamish left. Walking down the street, Sherlock held the hot food close hoping the paper bags would keep the heat in on their five minute walk back to their home.
"Holmes?" came a gruff voice from just ahead of them, Sherlock's head snapped up as he recognised the voice he hadn't heard in many, many years.
A man was walking towards him wearing a loose green jacket, black tight skinny jeans, he had dark circles around his eyes, his dark hair fell around his face messily, and he generally looked like he needed looking after greatly. He had a cigarette in his mouth and he walked sloppily over to Sherlock. Sherlock put a protective arm around Hamish and his son instinctively moved closer to his father.
"Hello, William." Sherlock said shortly.
"Alright, mate, haven't seen you in years! God, you look all posh-o!" he grinned and looked over to Hamish "Ohh, whose this? Does your older brother force you to look after his kids or sumfin?" William asked.
"No." Sherlock scowled "This is my son."
William's eyes widened "Ohh, well, I never thought you'd be one to settle down, or even get laid, you scrawny dick!" he laughed and Sherlock put a hand to the side of Hamish's head, covering an ear.
"Mind your language, he's twelve." Sherlock said, his eyes narrowed.
"Oh, I'm sure he's heard worse, right, little'n?" William said to Hamish.
Hamish just stared at him.
"Oh, shy, right?" William said "So, what girl in their right mind fucked you? And gave you a kid?"
"William, I request you be careful with what you say, your language is not appreciated." Sherlock said.
"Yeah, whatever, anyway mate, you want some crack?" William asked, coming closer to Sherlock.
"No." Sherlock stated.
"Heroin? Anything? I need the cash and I got the stuff." William said quietly.
"Well sell elsewhere, I am not buying." Sherlock said, but he felt at the back of his head the memory of the euphoric feeling that drugs brought and he craved that for a moment. Hamish shuffled next to him, bringing him out of his thoughts and he instantly felt horrible and dirty, he didn't want drugs, he didn't want Hamish being anywhere near drugs unless for medical purposes, he didn't want Hamish to see him drugged up and he didn't want to be a disappointment as a father or as a husband, "Hamish and I are going now." Sherlock stated and started making his way around William but the man pushed closer to Sherlock and said "You owe me, favours I haven't forgotten. I made sure you didn't die all those years ago when you overdosed, you owe me. So give me some cash, I'll do you a fair deal if you're a bit broke from looking after the kid. You get drugs, I get cash, I need to sell." William said.
"I said no, and I meant it." Sherlock stated.
William got right up in his face then, almost aggressively and Hamish said "Papa…" nervously, pinning himself as close to Sherlock's side as he could, gripping onto the back of Sherlock's coat. Sherlock had his arm wrapped protectively around Hamish.
"Don't turn me down, Holmes. You need the drugs, you always need them, and I am selling." William hissed.
"I do not need them anymore. I have a life, I have a family, I have moved on and been rehabilitated. So I'd back off if I were you or I'll inform my friends at Scotland Yard that you're dealing-the only thing stopping me is that I am grateful for what you did all those years ago, but if you force this upon me any more I will call the police, you're upsetting my son." Sherlock said firmly and steadily.
William considered this for a moment and backed away "Well, whatever, your loss. And kid, ever need any, just ask your old dad where to find me." William winked conspiratorially and walked off.
"Papa…" Hamish whispered up at Sherlock.
"You are to never involve yourself in drugs, am I understood?" Sherlock asked sternly.
"Of course! Drugs are bad, unless it's like calpol or morphine or paracetamol or something medical." Hamish said honestly.
Sherlock relaxed a little "Come along then, we'll need to put our dinner in the oven, it's going to be barely warm by the time we are home."
Hamish nodded and they walked home in a thoughtful silence.
CUT!
Once home with a freshly reheated dinner, Sherlock and Hamish were sat beside each other at the kitchen table, eating quietly.
"Papa?" Hamish asked.
"Yes?" Sherlock asked.
"Did you really almost die?" Hamish asked quietly.
Sherlock looked at his son for a moment then said "Yes, but that was a long time before you were born, I was barely an adult myself."
"And… that man… Will-liam, he s-saved you?" Hamish asked.
"He did." Sherlock nodded.
"H-how?" Hamish asked.
"You want honesty about what happened, yes? Because I must say that it isn't a nice story, though I will not hide my past from you." Sherlock said.
"I want the tr-truth." Hamish said.
"I had decided to take pills that night, I usually don't, I favoured smoking or injecting." Sherlock started "I misjudged the potency of the pills and I took five, feeling that I was not getting a sufficient feeling from them. But the impact of the drugs came crashing down on my spontaneously and quickly, I was alone in a bathroom in a club and I do not remember much, but William explained to me that he had to stick his fingers down the back of my throat to trigger my gag reflex and get me to throw up the pills-I was not in the right state to do it myself, then he took me to hospital. He claimed that I was depressed and had wanted to overdose to cover for the fact that I was a druggie, but the hospital knew, and Mycroft managed to subdue them, got them to treat me and let me go. He had given me another lecture about how I should go to rehab, but I refused and he knew that if he pushed I would get worse." Sherlock said and it was followed by Hamish's stunned silence. "I can assure you, I have been rehabilitated and I have no interest in drugs anymore."
"I know that, I saw how you turned Will-liam d-down when he tried to sellll." Hamish said "B-but… I d-don't like the th-thought of you dying, papa." Hamish said, his big blue eyes looking up at Sherlock with love and worry.
Sherlock abandoned his dinner and gave Hamish his full and undivided attention, he gently ran his fingers through Hamish's blonde curls and said "I know, but it is in the past, I'm fine, I lived, and I have no plans of going anywhere."
Hamish relaxed slightly and nodded.
"Both your dad and I have been put in life-threatening situations in our past, John in Aghanistan and I on the streets, but since having you we have been taking extra precautions to ensure that we are as safe as we can be despite our still dangerous lifestyle. But John is no longer in a warzone and I am no longer addicted to drugs and in that world. Yes, we are in danger with our crime solving, but we are careful and that's because we want to live and be together for as long as we can, we want to raise you and be there for you for as long as we can." Sherlock said.
Hamish's eyes filled with tears and his mouth tightened, trying to contain his emotions "I want that too. I don't want you or dad to die." Hamish admitted.
"Oh, come here." Sherlock held his arms open and despite not having crutches, Hamish launched himself into Sherlock's arms, burying his face in his papa's shoulder and gripping as tightly as he could onto his back, Sherlock held Hamish up and gently rubbed his back comfortingly.
After soothing mumbles and hugging his son enough for him to feel relaxed, Sherlock pulled back and said "Now, finish your dinner and then we'll skype with your dad."
Hamish smiled and sat back in his seat, they chose much lighter topics of conversation after that and the dinner was finished happily.
CUT!
Sherlock had set the laptop up on a pile of books on the coffee table so it was the correct height for the webcam and he and Hamish sat on the sofa as they rang John's skype.
John was quite quick to answer, he was sat in a boring hotel room but seemed happy to see his family.
"Dad!" Hamish said eagerly.
"Hello! Are you both alright? Please tell me that the house hasn't been blown up!" John said hopefully.
"John, you can see part of the house behind us, of course it hasn't been blown up." Sherlock said.
"Yes, but you could have blown up the part of the house behind the laptop, or maybe Mycroft has set up a replica background for this skype session." John said.
"Well, we haven't. Anyway, are you terribly bored without us?" Sherlock asked with a grin.
"Oh very." John nodded mock-seriously.
"Hey, dad! There was this guy we saw on the street today called William and he'd saved papa's life! He's had to stick his fingers down papa's throat years ago to get him to throw up drugs! Oh, and yeah, I know more about papa's drug habits from years ago, we talked about it. William tried to sell papa drugs but he wouldn't take them and William swore a lot and papa and I talked and he promised that you two would try your best to stay alive for as long as you could, hopefully until you're really old and stuff, despite your dangerous lifestyle!" Hamish rambled, grinning.
Sherlock and John both stared at Hamish with wide eyes.
"What? Oh, is it because I know more about the drugs… don't be mad, dad! I have a right to know about your pasts! And papa doesn't take drugs any more, isn't that good that he got rehabilitated?" Hamish smiled.
"Hamish…" Sherlock said hesitantly.
"What?" Hamish looked up at Sherlock, and then to John on the computer.
"Hamish, you spoke without stammering." John explained.
"What-oh… oh my God! Yes!" Hamish was grinning ear-to-ear "Yes! I can talk properly again!"
"Sherlock, hurry up and give Hamish a hug from me!" John grinned.
Sherlock was quick to give Hamish a tight and proud hug, he pulled away and turned back to John with a smile.
John was smiling but as what Hamish had actually said sank in his smile fell and he looked a little concerned "Sherlock, I thought we would discuss your past drug addiction with Hamish when he was older."
"We would have, but with William bumping into us and revealing too much there was little choice. Not to worry though, it's done." Sherlock said.
John sighed "Fine, but anyway, how was your day?"
"Boring!" Hamish said, smiling that he could talk without faltering; it felt like a switch had been flicked in his head.
The three continued to chat for over an hour until John started yawning and said "I better go to bed, travelling makes me sleepy. We can skype tomorrow though?" he checked.
"Of course." Sherlock smiled.
"Right, well goodnight, have a lovely sleep and a good tomorrow and I love you both, and Hamish-I'm very proud of you." John said.
"Thanks, dad. I love you too!" Hamish smiled brightly, though he felt the beginnings of fatigue pulling at him as well.
"I love you, John." Sherlock said and John smiled "I love you too, Sherlock. Now don't you go getting sentimental on me or I'll have to rush back and check your temperature." John smirked.
"Ohh, well in that case, John, I miss you and my heart aches when you're not here." Sherlock said dramatically, his hand on his chest.
John chuckled "Stop teasing me, I'm logging off now. Right, night night, and by that, I actually mean goodnight, you better go to sleep soon, it's gone nine." John gave a pointed look to Hamish who slouched his shoulders in defeat.
"Night!" John smiled and as Hamish and Sherlock chimed in their goodnights, John logged off and Sherlock shut the laptop.
CUT!
Hamish lay curled up in his parents' bed that evening-still unable to sleep in his own room upstairs because of his weak legs, he needed to be by a parent and the toilet and kitchen for practicality.
Sherlock was still experimenting in the kitchen and Hamish couldn't sleep, the new information about his papa's history made his mind race with imaginings of the state his papa must have been in. Hamish rolled over, he lay on John's side of the bed, preferring to sleep the farthest away from the door, he looked at the picture framed on his dad's bed side table. It was quite old, it was their family photo, he himself was three years old, giggling at something. John was grinning at the camera, and Sherlock was looking at John with a soft and fond smile. Hamish gave a small smile at the picture and took a moment to study his papa; he looked so content and Hamish wondered what he would have looked like in the rougher patches of his life, with the drugs.
Hamish's thoughts were disturbed by Sherlock opening the door and stepping in.
"You should be asleep." Sherlock said, despite Hamish's back being to him he knew his son was awake.
"I can't. Hey, can I see some old pictures of you?" Hamish asked
"Why?" Sherlock asked as he pulled his pyjamas out from under his pillow.
"I want to see what you looked like when you were younger." Hamish said.
"You know what I looked like as a child, you have seen the pictures of me around my parents' house." Sherlock said as he unbuttoned his shirt.
"I know," Hamish sighed and rolled onto his back "but there is one time where I don't know what you looked like, just at the end of you being a teenager and the beginning of you being an adult. That's… blank." Hamish explained.
"I do not have many pictures of myself from that period of my life." Sherlock said and put his shirt on.
"So there are some. You say you don't have many, but that means there are some." Hamish said sharply.
"Yes. But I do not have them, ask your Uncle Mycroft." Sherlock said as he changed into his pyjama bottoms, "tomorrow morning." Sherlock added, predicting that Hamish was going to ask for his phone.
"But he won't be sleeping this early!" Hamish insisted.
"I am aware of that, however you should be sleeping. Now settle down and get some rest." Sherlock said and climbed into bed, turning his bed side lamp off and plummeting the room into darkness.
After a few minutes of silence Hamish said "I like that picture of all of us on dad's bed side table."
"Me too, and your dad does too-that's why he has it there." Sherlock said.
"Did you ever think back then… with the drugs… that you'd have this for a future? The cases, dad, me?" Hamish asked curiously.
"No." Sherlock answered honestly "But I am glad that I do have you and John and the cases, my life is far better now than it was when I was younger."
"Were you sad when you were younger?" Hamish queried.
"…Yes, but I chose to push away the sadness and pretend it wasn't there. I didn't care for a while." Sherlock said.
"What made you care?" Hamish asked.
"Your dad." Sherlock admitted "Now, go to sleep or John will be grumpy."
Hamish sniggered "He's funny when he's grumpy."
Sherlock chuckled, agreeing and picturing his husband's grumpy face.
Extra author's note:
From now on I shall be posting every Monday with this fic, so every Monday you shall have a new chapter!
Is that better? To have a more organised posting time? I know I've been a bit slow and sometimes erratic with my posting, I used to update every 3-5 days and now it's turning into every week and sometimes a few days longer, so I wanted to make it easier and more organised for both me and you readers!