Chapter 36

Captain Kirk lay awake in bed, trying to tune out the sound of the Enterprise's engines. It was normally a very soothing sound to him, but on this night – in fact every night for the past week – their hum had been a source of aggravation, because they were too quiet. The Enterprise was going nowhere, or rather it was going around in circles. First there was the wild goose chase with that doctor woman and her security guard boyfriend. They had led Kirk across three solar systems and almost gotten themselves killed by entering space belonging to a semi-hostile planet.

They had managed to break six conditions of an already-precarious peace treaty, and Kirk had had to stay behind for a whole day to smooth over the incident. The whole time all he could think was that Khan was getting further away with Spock, Lieutenant Walker and Dr. Neel.

By the time the Enterprise had returned to the medical outpost, the direction Khan had gone was anybody's guess. Would he choose a highly-populated planet in hopes of blending in? Would he go to an enemy world and forge an alliance against the Federation? He could go to Romulus; handing over a half-Vulcan Starfleet officer would surely buy his way into their confidences. Kirk had commandeered a courier ship from the outpost and dispatched Sulu and three security guards to do a sweep of space on the way to the Neutral Zone, just in case.

Meanwhile the Enterprise had warped back and forth across the sector five times, following up on every distress call, every report of unidentified ships. The whole time Kirk knew that maybe Khan hadn't gone anywhere and the shuttle was still cloaked, just a few kilometers away from where they'd started. It would be just like Khan to hide like a snake in the sand, waiting with super-human patience for the right time to strike.

But what would he do with Spock and his other prisoners during that time? Hurt Spock, Kirk presumed, in ways he knew he couldn't imagine, and if Lieutenant Walker's effect on men was as potent as everyone claimed, she was probably suffering an even worse ordeal. Kirk rolled over in bed, punching his pillow in frustration. He'd had Khan in the palm of his hand, not once, but twice! He could have ended it at any time – just killed Khan and his whole augmented crew. Instead he'd just handed them back to the Federation – the bunch that had allowed Khan to escape in the first place. Now they had let it happen a second time. How many more times were they going to unleash Khan on the galaxy before they finally destroyed him? Or would Khan destroy the Federation before that ever happened?

Kirk knew one thing: if he ever got Khan under his control again, the Augment would not get a third chance to escape.

Wide awake with thoughts of vengeance, Kirk welcomed the interruption when the door to his quarters chimed.

"Enter," he said, throwing aside the covers and sitting on the edge of his bed.

Lieutenant Uhura entered, still in her uniform though her shift had ended hours ago. Kirk did not allow his eyes to linger on her long legs, though he did have time to appreciate them before looking up at his communications officer. "You should be in bed," he told her, then quickly added, "Your own bed."

"I'm sorry, Captain," she said awkwardly, staring at Kirk, who was half naked in a pair of briefs. "I wouldn't disturb you except I think this is important."

Kirk stood and rubbed his eyes and moved to stand and look over Uhura's shoulder at her PADD. "What is it, Lieutenant?"

"It's a subspace signal," she said, enlarging it for him. "I've been scanning Starfleet's secure frequencies."

"I guess I should remind you that's against regulation," Kirk said.

"I guess I should give a damn," Uhura replied.

Kirk knew why she was willing to take such a risk - she was more worried about Spock than anyone - Kirk certainly wasn't going to reprimand her over it. "Is it Khan?" he asked instead.

"I don't know, Captain, I only picked up one side of the conversation, and a partial conversation at that."

"How partial?"

"Just three words, from an escort ship called the Ishita in sector thirty-five-J."

"That's close," Kirk said hopefully – less than two hours away at maximum warp. "What were the three words?"

"I'll play them for you," she said, and tapped her PADD. There was static and a strange whistling noise in the background. "That's residue from the encryption," she explained, adjusting the controls to reduce the extra sound. Then Kirk thought he heard a low murmur under everything else. "Did you get it?" Uhura asked a few seconds later.

Kirk looked at her in surprise. "No." He knew she had sensitive hearing, but it was remarkable that she'd picked up the sound of voices at all, let alone deciphered actual words.

"I'll play it again," she said, but Kirk stopped her.

"Just tell me or we'll be here all night."

"Arrest Commander Spock," Uhura said, her eyes shining with excitement. "It doesn't make sense, but those are the words, I'd stake my career on it: arrest Commander Spock."

Khan worked quickly, but only half his mind was on the task at hand. He kept seeing Beth's face when he'd left her in the cave – a place that had been so special to him – the closest thing he'd had to a home in years. Now it would forever be tainted by his betrayal. He kept making mistakes with the wiring, and when he finally got the transporter functioning through the amplifier orb the sky was already getting light.

He picked up one of the rodents he'd caught – it was the size of an Earth cat – and put it on the floor. It had no predators on Centula so it was too stupid to run, Khan didn't even need to put down food to keep it still. He locked the transporter onto its form, adjusted for size and density, and beamed it across the room.

The test was successful and once it had rematerialized the giant rat looked around at its surroundings and gave the floor a few extra sniffs, but otherwise seemed undisturbed. Khan beamed it back to its original location and placed a second rat – even larger than the first – by its side. They regarded each other with minimal interest and Khan beamed them across the room in unison. This created much confusion for the larger rat, which turned and bit the smaller one, sending it scurrying under a cupboard.

"Thank you for volunteering," Khan told the larger one, and he took his time scanning a point in space just outside Centula's exosphere. There appeared to be no rocks or debris to cause injury to the animal, and Khan locked onto its signal and beamed it out into space. He monitored its signal for a few seconds and then beamed it back. It was screeching and kicking and when it finally realized it was back on solid ground it tore across the room to join the other rat under the cupboard.

Khan didn't mind; he was getting more comfortable with the controls, and more confident in the success of his handiwork connecting the transporter to the orb. He locked onto the signal of both rats, distinguishing them from each other and the surrounding furniture and beamed them both into space. Waiting just a few seconds again, he brought them back to the surface, this time just outside the research station. Khan went to the window just in time to see them both running for their lives into the protection of the forest. He noticed it was starting to rain.

Next he went to check on Spock in the holding cell. He took the rifle with him, even though Spock was behind a barred door. The Vulcan was sitting on the floor meditating. Khan threw a packet of dried grains and a plastic bag of water onto the floor inside the cell and when Spock didn't react Khan banged the gun against the metal bars. It took Spock several seconds to open his eyes.

"Why the rifle, if I may ask?" was Spock's first question. "A phaser is much more efficient."

Khan slung the rifle into the crook of his arm. "I grew up holding guns like this one. It feels wrong to shoot someone without leaving something inside them."

"Interesting," Spock said, "That is surprisingly sentimental. I assume you have replaced the tranquilizer darts with bullets."

Khan raised the gun again and pointed it at Spock. "Do you want to find out?" Threatening the commander should have made Khan feel better, but since Spock's apparent recovery from Dr. Neel's injection, it was rather like threatening one of the stupidly fearless giant rats.

"I imagine that shooting you with a bullet is more effective than shooting you with a phaser," Spock persisted. "It is illogical that you should prefer a weapon to which you are so vulnerable."

Khan stared at Spock and realized he was procrastinating. It was past time to check on Beth.

The thought of seeing her again filled him with intense excitement, but also dread. She would hate him. She wouldn't want to look at him or listen to him, but he would probably force her. She certainly wouldn't want to kiss him or be touched by him, and he hoped he had the strength not to force that as well. He tried not to think about all the times he'd been with her in the past week, all the time he'd spent holding her or talking to her or just watching her. She was getting to know him so well. When he came back after being gone for a year, could she get to know him so well again? Would she want to?

He returned to the control room and started to unpack the shoulder bag Spock had carried back from the shuttle. It was stuffed with food – a much better selection than the shriveled up grains he'd just given Spock. When the Ishita arrived, Khan would have to arrange for a replicator to be installed for Beth so she and the children could have whatever they wanted to eat. He smiled at the thought, trying to imagine what the children would look like, what their favorite foods would be.

He would miss their birth, of course; it would take more than nine months just to gather intelligence on his crew's location, the security systems, weaknesses in the perimeter, weaknesses in the guards… maybe he would miss more as well, like first steps and first words, and when he did finally return to them, they would be frightened of him because Beth would no doubt tell them exactly what kind of man their father was.

After pulling several bags of freeze-dried food out of the satchel, Khan pulled out a medical PADD – the one Dr. Neel had used on the shuttle. Spock must have picked it up. Khan turned it on, wondering if he could link it to communication console and use it to remotely control the sensors and transporter, at least within the protected valley where the geomagnetic interference was low. He browsed through the device, looking for a way into the operating system, and stopped short when he saw the word "Gorgon" on one of the files. Khan tapped it and a recorded image immediately appeared on the screen.

It was disorienting. This recording was made hundreds of years ago. The quality of the images, the hair, the clothes, even the furniture was from Khan's time. He felt like he could have been in the room, maybe standing just out of the shot. Except that he would have remembered being in that room. It was not a lab or an official building, it looked like a private residence. Opulent, definitely, but still somebody's home. But that was not why Khan would have remembered being there – the thing that held his attention – just as it held the attention of the camera – was the man standing in the center of the shot.

Gorgon. Khan had met him, even collaborated with him a few times, but he had forgotten how beautiful the man had been. He was of the same Augment generation as Khan, but he was younger in this image than Khan was now. His auburn hair was longer than Khan remembered, curling slightly around his ears and the nape of his strong neck. His deep brown eyes stared fearlessly at the camera. "You can kill me now, I will never say it."

The butt of a gun appeared from the side of the frame, hitting Gorgon hard across the face. It snapped his head sideways and broke his skin. Whoever had struck him was another Augment – no human had that kind of strength. Gorgon quickly stood up straight again and Khan saw his hands were tied behind his back. He suddenly realized what he was looking at; this was Gorgon's execution, for betraying the Eugenic cause and his people.

"I will never disown them," Gorgon said, and this time it was the other end of the rifle that came at him. Still he did not flinch or shy away from it. He had always been a man of conviction, even when those convictions were changed by something as unexpected as love, and a real family.

Khan watched Gorgon get shot in the head and the hulking tower of strength was no more.

There was a muffled scream off-camera and Khan felt his blood grow cold in his veins. Dr. Neel had said the Augments had killed Gorgon along with his mate and unborn son. The camera panned to the right and there was the woman – a frail and terrified human among a throng of Augment men and women. Khan tried not to look at her face, but he had already seen the color of her hazel-green eyes, so similar to Beth's that he could not help but see Beth standing among the Augments as they closed in on her.

"Back off, now, give the lady some space," a voice suddenly said, and the group parted. Khan sighed with relief. At least someone was going to keep the proceedings somewhat civilized, even if it was going to end with the death of this woman and her child.

The owner of the voice stepped into shot and Khan was shocked. He knew this man. His name was Ram. He was tall and well-built, like all Augments, with dark hair and flawless olive skin. He had been Khan's friend for years, and climbed the ranks to be his second in command. He had puzzled with Khan over Gorgon's betrayal and death on several occasions over the years, but Ram had never told Khan that he had been there.

Ram walked up to the woman. "Are you frightened?" he asked her with a saccharine sweetness that made the other Augments look at each other and smirk. Khan's heart sank. Ram was not going to help the woman; he was going to play with her. He stroked her blonde hair, several shades lighter than Beth's, and then touched his fingers to her face. He smiled, and this smile was genuine, but cruel. Khan realized he had seen Ram smile like this before, usually in moments of victory, but he felt like he was really seeing behind the smile for the first time. "Now I understand what all the commotion is about," Ram said, almost flirtatiously as he stroked his hand down the woman's neck.

She trembled, cowering away from him, but the others held her where she was. They were all watching hungrily as Ram touched her – even the women seemed sickeningly fascinated. Khan scanned the group and saw five other faces he recognized from his crew. They had all joined him around the same time as Ram, and none of them had ever mentioned this incident to him. Khan knew one thing; if he ever found his crew and woke them up, they must never find out about Beth and the children. Even if it meant he could never return to her, he would rather that than letting her be subjected to…

Ram suddenly grabbed the woman roughly by the hair and she yelped in pain and surprise. Khan remembered the sound of Beth's screams on the recording in the shuttle. Or had they been the screams of this woman? He stopped the video before he could find out for sure.

Khan realized he was holding his breath as he beamed across the valley and re-materialized in the rain outside the cave entrance in the forest. He put Dr. Neel's PADD into the shoulder bag and went inside, holding out a lamp similar to the one Beth had brought last time to the cave. He ran through the tunnels, remembering the way. He was desperate to see her, to hold her and apologize to her, for everything that he'd done to her, and everything his friends had done to the first of her kind. When he got closer to the main cavern he realized something was wrong. He could smell blood. It was around him, in the tunnels. He shined his lamp on the ground but it was too wet to distinguish blood on the dark rocks. He went into the main cavern but he already knew she wouldn't be there.

The shelf of rock where he'd left her was empty. She had dumped most of the blankets on the ground, except for the small one she'd offered to Khan on their first day in the cave. It was folded up and left alone on the rock, either as a memento to him or a slap in the face. He couldn't imagine what she'd been thinking when she'd done it. The rope he'd used to tie her up was on the ground and he picked it up, seeing that it had been roughly cut with something, and was covered in blood. What had she done to herself to get out of the bonds? He remembered her trying to kill herself rather than be tortured by him, and he realized she was capable of anything when pushed far enough. It was something he loved about her, but it was also going to get her killed. He hoped it hadn't already.

He looked around for what else she had taken with her; the big laundry sack and most of the clothes, the small lamp, the tins of food and the dolphin. That last one struck a particular nerve in Khan. It told him she was not planning to ever return. She was leaving him, and the realization made him equal parts frightened, hurt and furious. Did she really think he would let her go?

Khan smelled and tasted the blood on the rope, trying to determine how old it was. Several hours, he guessed. She could have been out all night, bleeding and alone in the forest. There were larger animals in the mountains, so she would have stayed down in the valley, but would the animals come down at night if they caught the scent of fresh blood? He started heading out of the cave, hoping to track her through the forest, but then he remembered that it was raining. Any sign of her would be already washed away.

But he knew where she was going. She had told him often enough of the buildings to the south, even showed him a map. He closed his eyes, remembering it clearly. He would beam there and try to scan for her using the sensors he'd attached to the orb. If he couldn't find her he would backtrack through the forest and try to head her off. He didn't know what he would do when he found her. He didn't think he could ever let her out of his sight again, but he also couldn't involve her in the minor war it would probably take to retrieve his people. For the first time, Khan began to question if it was the right decision, or at least the right time, to go on a dangerous mission to rescue his crew.

The idea made Khan stop in his tracks. The need to be reunited with his first family had been the driving, defining force in his life for over a year. How could he even think of leaving them in stasis for one second longer than necessary?

Nice long chapter to make up for not posting for a few days :) I kept writing this one and had to finally make myself stop so I could post it (and get some sleep!) More to come soon - are we happy to see Kirk coming back? Khan is so conflicted, and where is Beth? I hope Khan has learned his lesson that he can't control her, but is it already too late? Thanks for reading and reviewing, following and faving. Hope you like this one.