With a tired sigh and a rub of her weary eyes, Faith leaned back into the seat she had positioned in front of her terminal in Liara's new office, wincing as she heard her back quietly pop as it curved over the back of the chair.
The ambiguous nature of the data streams before her soured her mood with frustration. She closed yet another Council report regarding the Collector Base, written as if the existence of the human-Reaper monstrosity - largely destroyed as it was - was still not evidence enough of the Collectors' purpose.
Damned Council, so focused on the insignificant things...
She glanced over to Liara, to see the asari sitting cross legged on the sofa they had installed at the far end of the room, reading a datapad. A sea of displays flickered in the interim space, displaying the progress of a multitude of complex operations. How Liara kept track of it all was an absolute mystery, but somehow she not only managed it, but was also able to filter down the more useful data accumulated into things they could use.
The rest of the crew were likely sleeping, but the pair had decided to get a little more done before bed, neither being able to get much sleep since the news had landed.
Two short days had passed since they had received the message from Thessia. Once she had recovered from the initial shock of the revelation Liara had rallied magnificently, logically assessing it like any other problem she might encounter.
But it was not any other problem, and they both knew it.
Benezia's death was something Liara had not yet properly processed. Liara had been the one to fire the final shot: how could anything make that better?
It had taken Faith years to fully come to terms with her own parents' deaths, and that had been a tragic accident. Faith had not held her mother as she coughed out her lifeblood, knowing she was the one who fired the shot...
Faith knew she needed to do something to help Liara, she just wished she knew what. Liara was always so caring and empathetic when it came to these kinds of things, but the soldier felt that anything she could say or do was clunky and awkward, and riddled with a burning guilt, that it was her fault Liara had been in that position.
That would not stop her.
She needs me. I just wish we could do this on her terms, damn her government for forcing this now...
The first step was to accompany her to Thessia.
The retrofits were still not complete, but Liara had said that her presence was not immediately required on her homeworld; asari politics and law tended to be much less regimented than the human equivalent, and they could wait the extra week the crews estimated for completion before taking the Normandy to Thessia without any adverse effect.
Liara began to stretch languidly with a wide yawn, first arching her back in a hugely distracting way, then pushing her legs out before her and wiggling her bare toes. Tracing the graceful curve of her lover's body, Faith decided they were done with work for the day. She spoke quietly. 'What are you reading?'
The asari relaxed, then looked up with a soft smile, gesturing to the datapad in her hand. 'I am reviewing the notes from Project Lazarus, actually.'
Wasn't expecting that...
Abandoning the useless Council report for Liara's VI to archive, Faith crossed the office and sat alongside her lover.
'You've got the finished product right here.' As soon as the words left her mouth, Faith grimaced.
Great time for bad jokes..
To her relief, Liara actually chuckled. 'I suppose I do. Though to test what I am looking for would risk poisoning you. I believe I would miss having you around.'
'Poison?' Faith's mind lost itself in the unexpected direction of the conversation.
Deciding it would be better to let Liara explain before she said something really stupid, Faith simply sank deeper into the chair.
The archaeologist nodded, still smiling. 'I was curious to know if you could eat the natural flora of Thessia. I suppose I could try simply feeding you a meal laced with element zero, but Miranda's notes are less dangerous.' She nodded again to the datapad in her hand. 'We are lucky, your bolstered metabolism can filter trace levels. Not many non-asari have the chance to safely enjoy the native cuisine of our homeworld.'
The wistfulness in Liara's voice pulled a smile across Faith's face. 'I look forward to it.'
But she would not let herself be distracted.
Shepard softly plucked the datapad from Liara's hands, and gazed deep into the brilliant blue eyes before her. 'Liara, are you... ok?'
The asari blinked, and turned away. 'What do you mean?'
Shepard took Liara's hand, wishing she knew what to say. 'When we get there... I'm not sure how asari legal systems work, but I imagine they're going to be digging up a lot of dirt on your mother. Are... you ready for that?'
Liara's gaze flickered to the ground. 'Mother's... mother's actions were not her own, Faith. At the end, not even her life was her own.'
'We both know it wasn't so simple, Liara.' Faith whispered. 'Please don't pretend what happened didn't affect you.'
Liara closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. 'Yes, it affected me. You know that... but, what happened cannot be undone. She fell victim to indoctrination. She... she allied with Saren. She was part of the attack on Eden Prime, she-'
'She was your mother,' Faith interrupted softly, tenderly brushing her thumb across Liara's palm.
Liara removed her hand, not unkindly, and stood up.
Faith looked to the floor, ashamed, for her part in pulling Liara to this life, for not being fast enough on Noveria, for having to bring this up now.
'Yes... she was. And yet...' the asari shook her head, facing away from Faith who sat, unsure of whether to stand and comfort Liara, or hear her out. Does she need to say this? 'I told you when we first met that we had not been close for years. What I meant was that we had not talked for years... and that we had not been close for decades.'
Faith could scarcely imagine that. Before her family had been torn apart by death, slavery, and duty, they had been close; happy, in a way she kept sacred to the deepest depths of her heart. There was always hardship, and arguments, and scraps between her sisters, but it all seemed so empty when compared to the memories of catching mum and dad sharing a kiss against the sunset, making a noise of disgust and seeing them grin at her, or having her youngest sister laughing happily in her arms as they raced across Mindoir on horseback.
But Faith knew, in a deep part of her heart, that Liara's memories of her mother were not so clear cut.
She stood and crossed to Liara, placing a hand on her shoulder. 'You don't think of her that way, though,' Shepard ventured, 'you try, but I... I've seen her, sometimes, when we meld, but I didn't want to push...'
Liara turned, smiling softly, and leaned in to rest her head on Faith's shoulder. 'I will not break if you ask.'
'I know!' the human exclaimed quietly in return. 'I just... God, I know how hard it is Liara, but to lose her like you did... I know you need to be ready. I wish it hadn't been forced like this.'
Liara's voice, slightly muffled, tickled against Faith's neck. 'W... what did you see? When we were joined?'
Putting the experience to spoken word seemed only to lessen it, but hearing the need in her lover's voice, Faith nevertheless thought of those whispers of the union Liara associated with her mother...
Strength... not military power, or biotic might... but strength, nameless, without form...
Duty... to a cause she found herself more and more devoted to...
A coldness that grew deeper as the years went on, always a hard thing for Liara to consider...
Beauty... she was so beautiful...
A million memories, blending together into everything and nothing, with a streak through every one...
'Yellow,' Faith eventually said gently, 'I... It sounds strange, but she's... yellow.'
She shook her head, feeling Liara's crest tickling her chin. 'I wish I could say it-'
A quiet, choked, sob silenced her, and Faith's heart shattered at the tiny noise.
I'm so sorry... for everything...
Cerulean arms slipped around her waist, gripping with a soft pressure, trembling almost imperceptibly.
Silently she drew one arm around Liara's shoulders, reaching up to gently stroke the top of the asari's crests, and slid the other around her waist, squeezing gently.
The embrace drew out for several minutes, until Liara finally stopped shaking.
'Liara...' Faith said, unsure, wishing there was something more she could do or say.
'She...' Liara began, voice thick and wavery, 'she liked to wear yellow, when... when I was younger, and-'
Liara's grip tightened, and a warm wetness seeped through to Faith's shoulder, the sensation dampening her own eyes with a deep empathy. Shepard murmured a wordless noise of comfort as she held on tighter, trying with everything she had to pour her love and support through the embrace.
'And... she was not... affectionate, but she was kind, and... and beautiful, and I always remember those dresses... and... Goddess... I... I...'
Another choked sob escaped the asari, piercing deep into Faith's heart, and it was all she could do to stay strong, returning the embrace Liara was holding to so tightly.
Eventually Liara fell quiet again, Faith continuing to quietly stroke her crests.
After several minutes, the asari eventually pulled back. The whites of her eyes were streaked with purple, the skin around them puffy and swollen, but there was a small, sad, smile on her face, as she began to brush Faith's damp top. 'I... I am sorry, I...'
Faith caught Liara's hand, and planted a kiss on the knuckles. 'Don't you dare apologise for this, Liara T'Soni.'
The asari's gaze flickered to the floor, and Faith softly took Liara's chin and raised it again, brushing away the moisture around her eyes with a gentle thumb.
Liara's eyes seemed to brighten, but the sad smile on her face lingered. 'I miss her, Faith.'
'You carry the best of her, Liara. Her strength, her beauty, and those good memories that what happened can't keep poisoned forever.'
Liara nodded slowly. 'I... I think she would like that. The real her.'
'I would like to have known her,' Shepard said quietly, imagining how Benezia must have been before Saren and Sovereign destroyed her will.
Liara's smile widened into something happier, and the soldier's heart lightened with it. 'I imagine she would have more than one question for you about your intentions with me.'
'I'd be terrified,' Faith admitted, shaking her head with a smile. She usually did not entertain "would haves", but could see Liara was enjoying the speculations. 'I think full body armour would have been in order.'
With a soft chuckle Liara leaned in again, onto Faith's dry shoulder. 'I think she would have respected you. After a long and thorough questioning, at least.'
Faith tilted her head and planted a kiss on the top of Liara's. 'I'm glad.'
The silence drew out again, though this time it felt comfortable, and warm. Faith hoped whatever was going through Liara's mind was not as painful as she knew such memories could be.
Eventually, with a deep breath, Liara looked up with dazzling eyes. 'Thank you, Faith. I... feel a little better now. I... perhaps I can tell you more about her, tomorrow. If you want.'
'I'd like that, Liara,' Faith said quietly with a smile, 'I'd like that a lot.'
Communications Specialist Traynor stood straight, and for what seemed like the tenth time that minute, brushed down the front of her uniform to ensure it was tidy and presentable.
Extra care had been taken with her appearance today: the Normandy was finally ready to depart, and Shepard had ordered the crew to gather around the CIC. Sam had taken up position at the terminal next to Kelly, who looked a lot less dressed up than she did, in an admittedly smart but unmarked shirt and trousers.
Everybody here looks less dressed up than me.
Standing beside her, resting on a back foot with massive arms crossed across his barrel chest, Lieutenant Vega was wearing a tight white t-shirt with the Alliance logo stamped on the front: the kind of thing soldiers normally wore under their uniforms... or tourists wore after visiting Arcturus. Beside him, Lieutenant Cortez was dressed similarly to herself, but his uniform was well worn, and she could spot more than one oil stain.
Her pristine clothes began to feel out of place. Would Shepard think it was too much? The soldier had said that as long as it was relatively smart and appropriate, everybody could wear what they liked, but Sam had been asked by Admiral Hackett to wear Alliance colours at all times... maybe she could find something less formal for next time? It would save her time getting dressed, if nothing else.
Sam berated herself, shaking her head almost imperceptibly. She was proud of the care she took over her appearance, and was proud of her uniform. Worrying about what anybody else thought was stupid.
Opposite her, Doctor Kenson was talking quietly to Detective Vakarian and Tali (who had refused to give any title Sam could refer to, much to her frustration), the former clad in his nearly-iconic gleaming blue armour, the latter in the very fetching environmental suit that emphasised her frankly amazing hips. Engineers Daniels and Donnelly were chatting happily, the latter cupping his hands suggestively before him as the former rolled her eyes, and finally, Doctor Chakwas stood by Flight Lieutenant "Joker" Moreau, who was dressed in what looked like a t-shirt sporting the logo of a heavy metal band, propped up by the doctor on one arm, and a crutch under the other.
It's mad, I've read stories about these people, and they are right in front of me!
They had all been very welcoming, inviting her to their conversations in the mess hall, to the brief gatherings they held most nights in the lounge, and even insisted she called them by first names - something she still could not easily get used to on a military ship, in her uniform.
Even Shepard had made the effort to talk to her, more than once, over the last week; despite her ridiculous fumbling words and blabbing about things the Spectre surely wasn't interested in about. Sam swallowed, hoping she hadn't made too much of a fool out of herself when she had spent about five minutes talking about her bloody toothbrush of all things.
The elevator doors hissed open, and as one the people standing around the projector of the CIC straightened.
Side by side, Commander Shepard and Doctor T'Soni strode from the elevator. The asari looked almost startled to see so many gathered in the room, but quickly recovered herself, and took a position at the terminal opposite to Kelly's. Sam creased her brow at the asari, before she remembered herself and cleared her face. Though nobody had told her outright, it did not take much to deduce that she and Shepard were lovers: they never acted couple-y when they were on duty, but that they frequently seemed to come and go together like they just had, that T'Soni had no apparent living quarters, and that everybody seemed to grow awkward when she dared ask the question outright...
Just my luck, there had to be a beautiful asari on board.
Shepard herself stepped forward, climbing the few steps to the raised platform above the CIC. She was dressed in a black, unmarked uniform, high at the neck with long sleeves, and looked amazing. As the Spectre gathered her thoughts, Sam took a closer look at her. She wasn't exactly attractive, which had surprised Sam at first. She towered over Sam by at least a solid twenty centimetres, and made her feel more than a bit tiny with those wide shoulders and muscular arms. The scars she had seen cut into Shepard's face on Arcturus had all but faded now, though when the light hit her in a certain way Sam could still see them... but they were not as off-putting as she usually found scars. In a way, they complimented Shepard's hard features; her strong jaw, her dark eyes, her heavy brow.
Shepard was not beautiful - Sam would normally use the word handsome to describe a woman like her - but there was just something about her. Whether it was the "galactic hero" thing, or that frankly terrifying and at once amazing gaze she had, or the pleasant way her clipped voice sent jolts down Sam's spine...
Said voice snapped Sam from her deliberations.
'Before I begin, I'd like to inform you that I had a long talk with Miss Goto last night. For those of you who recently joined us, Kasumi is a professional thief who assisted us in our fight against the Collectors. To keep a long story short, she agreed to stay with us, though she will be heading out on assignment if we need anything procured. Come out and say hello, Kasumi.'
Sam's eyes were drawn to movement, as Garrus coolly glanced over both of his shoulders... then she herself jumped with a startled squeak as a very small woman in a black hood materialised right next to her. Sam saw a pair of painted lips curl into a wicked smile, and Kasumi spoke in a playful voice. 'Sorry about that.'
Hearing Kelly chuckle, Sam shot the redhead a dirty glare, then looked again at the thief. The thief. A professional criminal, on what was supposed to be a "good guy" vessel. Shepard had said she would see illegal activities... but the concept still made Sam uncomfortable. She would check her bags and pockets before bed.
A series of "welcome backs" and laughter rang around the small group, and Sam guessed the diminutive woman was actually quite popular... was she giving Kasumi an unfair assessment because of her profession? After a few seconds Shepard held up a hand, small smile on her face. 'Enough. So, the main reason we're here is to learn what we're doing next.'
The woman looked around, particularly at the Alliance personnel. When Shepard's eyes caught her own, Sam had to resist trembling at the fierce intensity in them.
'We are the crew of what is now by far the most advanced frigate in the galaxy. The mission of this vessel is to ensure the galaxy is prepared for the arrival of the Reapers, and to do that, we need the government of every single species to both believe our warnings, and be ready to fight with us. Anybody going it alone in the war, will be destroyed. That is the long and short of it.'
Shepard clasped her hands behind her back. 'This will not be an easy task. We are few, and galactic opinion is largely apathetic. Our efforts to date have peaked the interests of the militaries, and annoyance of governments. But it is not enough. We need to gather every fleet into a unified force, and determine how best to use it to combat the Reapers. Obviously, this will take more than a few good speeches.'
Shepard took a deep breath, and Sam released the one she was holding. The CIC was deadly silent other than the ever present hum of the computers... run by that AI with the lovely voice... crazy...
'To those who do not know, we have the resources, and the will, to set in action any operation, up to and including full scale sabotage of representative governments, if necessary.'
A chill ran down Sam's spine at the words. Shepard said that without any emotion: she was not exaggerating. How could she have that kind of power? Did anybody have the right to command that kind of influence?
She found herself struggling to draw breath as the gravity of the situation hit her like a train. This was not a story, full of heroes. This was war, even if the fighting was not yet obvious.
'But I would prefer it not come to that,' Shepard continued, 'and will be receptive to any ideas or suggestions on preparations we can make.'
Shepard looked to the asari beside her, who was holding a similar pose, hands clasped behind her back.
'Our first destination is Thessia, where Doctor T'Soni and I will attend the posthumous trial of Matriarch Benezia. Benezia was accomplice to Saren Arterius, and deeply involved in the Reaper attack three years ago. Liara's sources tell us that Benezia's trial has taken on a role far beyond a determination of her guilt, and that much of the asari populace is now looking to it as a source of information on the Reapers. We hope that by making a good show of it not only can we clear Liara's mother by proving she was indoctrinated, we can kick start the asari war effort. This is the kind of thing we can be doing, and as I said, all suggestions are welcomed.'
Shepard looked around the group, and took another step forward. 'I won't lie to you. The next few months are not going to be easy. People will treat everything we say with scepticism and mistrust. Some of our actions might earn us the ire, or worse, of governments, and we could find ourselves enemies of any number of states.'
Sam's breath caught, and not for the first time, fears plagued her thoughts.
Am I doing the right thing here? She's talking about us being criminals! And even if I am doing the right thing, I'm only barely a scientist, not a fighter, not a... soldier, how can I help?
Becoming more animated as she spoke, Shepard began pacing the small podium, the ringing footsteps giving her voice an almost musical quality as it filled the CIC - calming Sam's worries and filling the specialist with a confidence she did not know she possessed.
'But we have a duty to ourselves, to our families, to the whole damned galaxy, to give ourselves the best fighting chance we can. And we are not so helpless. We will get more people on our side. We will win these support we need. We will make sure this galaxy is prepared to fight.'
The soldier leaned forward, clasping the rail around her podium. Her next words were an angry snarl that terrified and exhilarated Sam at once. 'And you can be damned sure that when the Reapers get here, we will be ready!'
'What?!'
+I am afraid that without prior clearance, I cannot allow your ship to dock on Thessia, or your crew to walk our planet. If you wish us to send you the required forms for docking and temporary visas, we will be more than happy to do so and your applications should be completed within one galactic standard month.+
Anger twitches across Faith's face, but I softly take her hand from the communicator on the Normandy's bridge before she replies, berating myself for forgetting this about my homeworld.'I am sorry, this is entirely my fault. I should have told you as soon as you decided we were to travel here, that the asari have strict controls over who is allowed on our worlds.'
I have been away from Thessia for so long, I had almost forgotten about the customs of my home. On the galactic stage our governments say travel is restricted because of our great reserves element zero forcing us to be vigilant about smuggling... but I suspect the truth is slightly less pragmatic. I actually find myself a little uncomfortable at the thought of hundreds of thousands of non-asari wandering the homeworld without restriction - it is a place of great beauty, with very little crime and-
Goddess, I should not think that way, most of those I meet are good people.
Faith looks at me, then shakes her head with a grimace. 'It's not your fault Liara, you've had more than enough to worry about. I've been operating in the Terminus for so long I forgot most civilised places have controls like this.'
With a glance at the communicator, she lowers her voice. 'Waving my Spectre status in their face probably wouldn't help matters, would it?'
'Ha, I'd like to see that!' Joker pipes up from his seat. He was very... animated... in his displeasure at the news: I believe he took it as an insult to his ship.
'It would certainly let us pass, but I do not think that is the impression we wish to give, given our reason for being here.' I can just imagine the diplomatic incident it would cause...
'Thought so. Are you allowed down, at least? Maybe you could keep them busy until we get these... forms...filed.'
I shake my head quickly. 'That would take too long. You are already sacrificing a lot of time to do this for me, I would not want to delay this any longer.'
I know she sees this not as a sacrifice but an investment, but I know that she could be doing more productive things with the time. That she has put everything on hold, just for me...
With a smile, I shuffle forwards towards the communicator. 'I have an idea, but it will mean only the pair of us can go down for now. Would... would that be alright?'
She blinks, and answers quickly. 'Sure. It's better than none of us, and Garrus is making some progress with the turian hierarchy I'm sure will keep everybody up here busy.'
'You mean I won't get to visit the planet full of hot... ah...' Joker begins, and both Faith and I turn to look at him. He glances at me, then fixes his gaze steadfastly at his controls.
'Good idea shutting up there, Joker.' Faith says coldly.
I know the reputation of my people amongst most humans, but sometimes I truly do not understand why they are at once so excited and ashamed by their reactions to us. I would not be offended by the likely direction his words were taking: we embrace beauty and sensuality, and see nothing wrong with the fact... even if I myself can be a little uncomfortable with it, most asari certainly are not.
Leaving the thought to one side, I lean forwards and activate the communicator. 'I speak as the heiress to House T'Soni. Is my passage to the homeworld permitted?'
There is silence for several seconds, before the pleasant feminine voice speaks again.
+We will need to confirm your identity upon arrival, Maiden T'Soni, but you will not be inhibited in your travels.+
I nod, and smile at Faith, before activating the microphone again. 'Thank you. I will be arriving with my lover by shuttle, which will return to the ship immediately.'
Two choked noises sound in surprise at my words, but the voice is already replying.
+Identity of your lover, Maiden T'Soni?+
'Spectre Shepard, human, female.'
The silence draws out again, and I steadfastly avoid the two human gazes boring into me. Goddess, they both know, why do they act as though talking of it is so taboo?
+That is acceptable. May your time on the homeworld be blessed, Maiden T'Soni.+
The communicator falls silent... the bridge similarly so. Faith's eyes are wide, and there is a slight blush across her cheeks.
Eventually, Joker speaks up again. 'Sooo... you gonna ask what that was about, Shepard?'
At the two inquisitive glares, I sigh. 'Most asari are allowed to wander our own space without restriction, and we are usually permitted to bring a partner with us, if it is determined their presence will not be disruptive.'
'Disruptive?' Faith prompts.
I nod. 'Yes. Criminals would be forbidden, and certain species would be given heavy consideration. Humans are still new to the galaxy so most might not be allowed, but you are a beacon of your people, and your presence will be seen as beneficial to the reputation of the asari.'
She opens her mouth to speak again, but Joker interrupts. 'Do they have to be... ah... lovers?'
'Dammit Joker, enough.' Faith growls, but I quiet her with a gentle touch.
'No, they do not, but as a maiden, such is... expected... of me, and trying to explain any other type of relationship might lead to unwarranted curiosity and questioning.'
The two curious gazes bore into me again, before Joker shrugs and spins back around in his chair. 'Cool, whatever. I'll be up here, thinking of you two, down there... having fun...'
Goddess...
I will inform you if he tries to access any inappropriate video logs again, Shepard.
EDI's voice fills the cabin, and the man groans loudly.
Faith sighs. 'Thanks, EDI, but you don't have to tell me. Just make sure-'
Her iron gaze snaps down to Joker's chair, where the man once again has fixed his eyes on the display before him.
'Again?'
A/N: Thank you Jay8008 and Vector 71!
To Thessia! There are still a few more chapters to go before the Reaper war kicks off (which, as a slight teaser, won't actually begin with the arrival of the Reapers) and I hope to fill them with political intrigue, drama, asari, and with any luck a big fluffy chapter à la Mindoir :-D
Thank you to everybody who continues to read this story; the enthusiasm and feedback is always wonderful!