Sense Memory

Three weeks later they were off on another case. They were off to Los Angeles again. A guy was drowning women in chloroform and taking pieces of skin from their feet post-mortem.

The night before they left Emily had found a window open in her living room while the children were asleep. She believed Aaron had been in the office ever since they'd put Jack to bed. It hadn't been open before they tucked them in for the night. Who'd opened the window? Was one of Doyle's men already in the house?

She picked up her gun and checked every room. She wasn't going to let anyone touch her babies. She wasn't going to let anyone hurt her family. She opened each door silently not to wake the children. She couldn't scare them. Aaron and Emily had made a promise to keep the darkness out of their lives. She couldn't let Jack go through another living nightmare. He had to keep his innocence.

She came to the office last and put down her gun. If she was just being paranoid she didn't want to worry him. She went in and saw him alone working on some consults. She breathed a sigh of relief and put the gun in their cabinet. He looked up concerned especially when he saw her putting away the gun.

"Sorry, forgot to put it away earlier," she put on a fake smile. He nodded knowing if there had been some real trouble he would have heard her gun go off. She knew she had to ask him. "Aaron, did you open the window in the living room?"

"Yes, just after putting Jack to sleep. I thought it was a little too hot in there." She closed her eyes and breathed another sigh of relief. Part of her was unreasonably angry at him for scaring her but he had no idea a terrorist was after her and he wasn't going to know. Most of her was just relieved her family weren't in danger.

What was going on? Why was she so paranoid? He wished she would just open up to him. She knew he would help her. He'd help her through anything. He just wished he knew what the hell was going on. She'd helped him through Foyet why couldn't he help her through this. That was how their relationship had damn well begun. He wouldn't push her though as that would-be disastrous. She'd just retract further from him. He wouldn't handle losing her. She was infuriating him but he still loved her. He still wanted to marry her. He knew now wasn't the best time though. He'd propose when all this trouble was over. He just hoped for her sake it was over soon. He hated to see her tormented.

Emily really didn't want to be alone right now while she was calming her breathing and slowing her heart rate to healthy standards. "Can I stay here until you turn in for the night? I just don't want to be alone right now."

He packed up his stuff. "Actually, let's turn in now. I've done everything I needed to." She smiled slightly knowing he was finishing for her. She just wanted to remind herself she had someone. Someone here to love her. Someone to look after her. She was scared he might lose her at the end of this for not letting him know how seriously in danger she was. She could understand his frustration at her but she was protecting him. She just hoped he would see it that way in the end.

They headed off to bed and changed. Once they changed they went under the sheets. She couldn't sleep that night scared someone would break in. She was in his arms but still couldn't get to sleep. She was scared if she did someone would break in and hurt her family. She spent the night watching him sleep. He looked so handsome and peaceful.

"Aaron, I'm so sorry," she whispered when she was sure he was asleep. "I hope you'll forgive me when this is all over. I really don't want to hurt you but I have to protect you. I know I'm putting you through a lot and I just hope you'll understand."

She kissed his forehead and he murmured in his sleep. Watching him she knew she had to protect him. He might be the head of the BAU and the rest of the team but he still needed protecting; he was only a human. He was her love.

The next morning they went into work and she was bleary-eyed.

"Long night?" Morgan asked.

"You wouldn't know," she answered sinking into her seat grumpily. She just wanted her life back. Her dream come true had turned into a nightmare.

He came in and slammed the case files on the table causing everyone to jump. He really needed to find a way to vent his frustration. They sat down and went through the case. They soon flew out to Los Angeles to deal with this weirdo. They found he was attracting his victims with the use of a taxi.

Morgan and Emily were sent to find out how the victims were willingly taken. They were sat in the taxi working it out when talk turned personal.

"Emily, what's going on?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she answered.

"You haven't been yourself lately and you've been biting your nails. Is everything alright with you and Aaron?"

"It's none of Aaron's fault. Like I said to him please don't ask me."

Morgan sighed, "Fine." He hoped they would get their Emily back soon. What was going on? Something was clearly bothering Hotch and Emily. Morgan understood now that something was bothering Emily and not knowing was bothering Hotch. Everyone knew they were besotted with each other and Hotch had trusted her with his all. Now she was keeping something from him.

They found the guy and went home. When she got home she found the window of her car was rolled down. She went over to it and found a wrapped gift box in there. She unwrapped it, took off the lid and found a purple tulip inside. She threw it down like it was poison. The last time she'd smelled a purple tulip was when she and Doyle were arrested. From then on they had reminded her of him as she had grown them at their home.

Aaron grabbed her and put his arms around her waist. She jumped away from him and elbowed him hard in his stomach. She turned around holding her gun and shouted, "I'm not scared of you."

"Emily, it's me," Aaron said doubled over but holding his hands in surrender. He headed towards her to try and reassure her he was her boyfriend and he wasn't going to harm her. She put her finger on the trigger. Her behaviour was really scaring him. Where was she? She was clearly not here with him or she'd know he'd never hurt her. It pained him to see her like this and he wanted to kill whoever was doing this to her.

"Don't come any closer," she shouted. If the man came any closer she was going to shoot him. She would do anything to protect her family. This bastard may have put the flower in her car but he wasn't going to take her and her family. Where was Aaron when she needed him?

"Alright," he said standing still trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "Alright."

"On your knees."

He got on his knees and a few tears rolled down his cheeks threatening to burst the dam. "Emily, it's me," he pleaded. He was speaking and she tried to focus on what he was saying while working out his face in the moonlight. "Em please put down the gun and come back to me. Come on, honey, it's Aaron. You know I'd never hurt you. I love you so much." Suddenly her vision became clear and she collapsed when she saw it was Aaron she had been aiming her gun at. Oh god, what did she just do? She was a monster. She was no better than the people they chased.

She dropped her gun and fell apart. He got up and curled his arms around her but she shook him off. She didn't deserve him. She'd almost just shot him.

"Emily, it's not your fault. You weren't yourself," he said trying to take her back.

"I almost shot you," she cried.

"You didn't mean to. You weren't mentally or emotionally here, Em. Your mind was elsewhere. You didn't realise it was me. Em, I know you'd never hurt me intentionally."

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I love you, Aaron, I love you so much."

"I know. It was partially my fault. I shouldn't have come up from behind. Not when you were so obviously shaken. Who gave you that flower?"

"I can't tell you," she answered. He sighed then nodded. She hated to see him so dejected but he had to be protected.

That night she realised she couldn't let it happen again. If she lost control of her emotions again it would be letting Doyle win. She couldn't let that happen. She couldn't let that dark, sadistic bastard ruin their lives. She put up the walls again. He hated it when she wouldn't let him in. He hated it when she wouldn't let him in. He didn't know how to handle being shut out of his girlfriend's life.

A week later they were taking the kids to a dog shelter. They had wanted to get a poor puppy to love. They wanted an abandoned or abused puppy they could give a good home to. Why take a brand new puppy if there are disadvantaged puppies that need a good home? They could give them that. The children had such big hearts.

They looked through all the cages. Jack led his sisters to each cage. They watched closely to find the right one. A small, black Labrador puppy came up barking at them excitedly.

Alexia patted his hand. "Jack dog," she squealed. He smiled and nodded to their parents.

"We've found our dog, mummy, daddy," he answered.

They walked over and smiled. A Labrador puppy was perfect. This puppy was obviously playful enough to be their friend and companion but also Labradors could be trained to protect.

"It sure is, buddy," they smiled ruffling his hair.

"Our dog," Alexia smiled jumping up and down while her sister smiled. They smiled back at their daughters. Though they were going through a tough time their children still made them smile. They were so innocent and happy and they were determined to keep it that way. Even if things turned for the worse. She hoped she wouldn't have to leave them but she'd do whatever she had to to protect them.

They turned to the guide and said, "We'd like that one, please."

They nodded and smiled. "He's a good 'un," he answered. "Came to us a few days ago."

"We want him."

"We'll just get the paperwork."

"Can we wait here while my partner signs?" Emily asked. "I think the children would like to hold him,"

"Sure." He let the dog out of his cage and Emily picked him up handing him to Jack. He held him and the girls stroked him. Aaron smiled as he headed to sign the paperwork. Emily smiled as the children tended to their new dog.

"What are you going to call him?" she asked.

"Milo," Eliza answered shyly. Alexia nodded.

"Yer Milo," Jack affirmed.

"Milo it is then," Emily smiled.

"Milo eh?" Aaron asked coming up to them again.

"Yer Milo." Alexia exclaimed.

"Let's take Milo home."

"But buy him some stuff at the pet store first," Emily added.

"Of course," he smiled at her. She was back to herself for the moment. The mother and girlfriend he had loved for the last three years. Even before the twins she had been a born mother.

They headed off to the pet store. There they bought everything they needed including a few toys. They then headed home with their new puppy. When he got home he scampered around making himself know this place.

She leant her head on Aaron's shoulder. He ran his fingers through her hair. The children had gone after Milo. It was clear how much they loved their dog already. Jack then came back with him in his arms licking his face while the six year old giggled and so did his little sisters. They smiled at them then each other.

"They already love him," she smiled.

"That they do," he smiled back. "It was a great idea of yours, Em," he answered burying his nose in her hair. He loved the smell of her shampoo. She felt guilty remembering why she originally wanted one. "What is it?"

"I used to be scared of dogs," she admitted.

"What changed?"

"Pippi," she smiled slightly. Pippi was Jessica's Sealyham terrier. She regularly brought him over when she cared for the kids. They were good with Pippi so they knew they would be good with Milo. They played with Milo for the rest of the day.

That night she sat on their bed. She was only in his t-shirt and a pair of panties. She looked at the scar on her inside thigh. She'd been attacked by a dog when she was a little girl. It had been so bad she'd needed a skin graft.

"What is it?" he asked.

"That was caused by a dog. I was attacked when I was little. Needed a skin graft."

"I'm so sorry. I won't let anyone hurt you again."

She smiled slightly. She knew she was going to get hurt and there was nothing he could do about it. At the showdown with Doyle she knew she'd get hurt.

They climbed into bed and she curled up laying her head on his chest. She loved him but he didn't completely make her feel safe anymore. Not now with her big, dark secret. She'd let him know when there was no other choice. When she had to face him.

The next day she was at work when she called an old friend and colleague, Tzia. She had to check she was in the know.

"Emily," she said surprised. They hadn't talked since they were arrested.

"Has Sean called you?" she answered.

"He left dozens of messages. I don't work for him anymore. I'm out."

"So's Doyle." She answered nervously.

"What?"She answered concerned.

"He escaped prison. Sean thinks we're all in danger. Where are you?"

"Paris. Jeremy and I are engaged."

"Congratulations."

"Emily as far as Doyle is concerned Lauren Reynolds is dead. Lauren Reynolds died in a car crash. Jeremy and I made sure of that. Say it."

"Lauren Reynolds is dead," she tried to convince herself. "Killed in a car crash."

She ended the call as she saw Spencer come in.

"Who's Lauren Reynolds?" he asked.

"An old friend of mine," she answered. She couldn't let them know she'd been Lauren Reynolds. She had to protect them from her past. Especially the baby of the group. Everyone knew he was sensitive when it came to their family.

Soon the rest of the team came in and she kept quiet about the call. She'd definitely not tell Aaron about her past. She didn't want to let him know how in danger she was. She couldn't let him go through what he did with Haley. This time it would be even worse. She knew he loved her more than he did Haley. Not that she was in competition with his dead ex-wife.