New chapter. I'd love to know your thoughts on the developments with Justin and how you're feeling regarding him.

We're now entering the last major drama I have planned for the story and then... who knows; perhaps a happy ending?

Comments are like hugs and I like hugs

Chapter 36: Communication

The oncoming traffic was no longer a problem as Tommy ducked and weaved his way across the road. He was faintly aware of a police officer running into the center of the road and halting traffic though his focus was on the crowd of people gathering around Justin's body. He pushed through the crowd then froze, watching as a middle aged man checked Justin's pulse.

The man held Justin's limp hand in his, his fingers pressed to the inside of his wrist and paused for a second. The air was deathly quiet. Finally he released the hand and it fell lifelessly to the ground. He looked up at the crowd of bystanders and shook his head. "He's dead," he said softly.

Tommy stared in shock as the crowd began to disperse; no longer interested in the excitement of the situation and all wishing to distance themselves from it now it was simply a tragedy. He put a hand to his forehead and exhaled slowly, his mind floating to Jude as he conjured up an image of her searching the G-Major corridors for him.

Was this good? He couldn't feel relief or if he did it was instantly smothered by the unyielding blows of remorse. This wasn't right… he shouldn't have died…

---

Sadie watched in amusement as Jude perched on the edge of her desk. She picked at her fingernails, sighed loudly then stood up and spun around to face her sister. She opened her mouth to speak then shook her head instead; speechless.

Sadie shook her head and continued typing a memo on her computer, glancing up occasionally to watch as Jude gazed at the platinum records on the wall for about half a second, tapped one foot on the ground to an imaginary beat then walked over to the nearby sofa where Spied was still working on a song.

"How's it going Vincent?" she asked.

"Harsh," Spied remarked with a head shake as he over plucked a string, causing a high pitched scream. Sadie wasn't sure if the remark was regarding Jude's use of his first name or the way his day was actually going.

"Me too," Jude remarked with a sympathetic nod. Her eyes flittered to the doorway as a courier walked in then flittered away in annoyance.

"Weren't we supposed to be recording today?" Spied asked.

Rolling her eyes skyward Jude remarked, "'We' were supposed to be doing a lot of things but then 'we' decided to play Lone Ranger and go act out some ridiculous action movie scenario."

Spied's eyebrows rose, "Right… so we're not recording?"

Jude's eyes had been on the door again and it was only when Spied maneuvered his guitar to poke her that she snapped back to attention. "Huh? What? Oh, no. I guess not." She put a hand on Spied's shoulder and looked into his eyes, "You're a good friend Spied."

She stood up again and walked over to Sadie's desk. Sadie smiled up at her. "I think you're scaring your guitarist."

Jude waved a hand in disinterest, "He'll get over it. Can you try Tommy's cell phone again? He might actually answer if the calls are coming from someone other than me."

"I tried a couple of minutes ago, Jude. He's not answering." Catching sight of something behind her she glanced around Jude, "Speak of the devil," she remarked in a low voice.

Jude whirled around to see a very ashen Tommy entering the lobby through a back door. He glanced over at her briefly, not long enough to make eye contact then quickly walked to his office.

"He's so dead," Jude remarked as she marched across the room.

Spied glanced over at Sadie, "Dude, do you think we should, like, intervene or something? I'm worried about Squinty Frown."

"Tommy can look after himself," Sadie remarked with a shrug, "and don't call me dude!" she admonished as she threw a pen at him.

---

"You are such a jerk, you know that?" Jude remarked as she strode into Tommy's office and kicked the door shut behind her.

Tommy slowly lowered himself into the plush swivel chair behind his desk, "I was trying to help you," he remarked in a low voice.

Too angry to spot the signs Jude continued on her barrage, "Where do you get off going behind my back – doing things you know I don't want you to do and telling me you're helping me!"

"I'm sorry."

"So what'd you do then," she shrugged angrily, "give him a black eye, a few stitches maybe? Is he spending the night in the hospital? I'm sure he'll leave me alone now!" she remarked sarcastically, "I bet you taught him a real lesson. Bravo Tom.""He's dead."

She froze, "What?"

"He's dead. He got hit by a truck; they say he died on impact."

She was silent for a second as she processed the information then her eyes widened, "Are you okay? You didn't get hit too?" She rushed around his desk and took one of his hands in hers, then pressed a hand to his forehead as if injuries suffered from an automobile accident could be gauged by a temperature.

"I'm fine. I was across the street when it happened. I saw it happen."

She dropped his hand and leaned away from him, looking down into his eyes skeptically. "He really got hit by a truck?

He nodded, "Yes." he glanced up at her sharply, "What are you getting at?"

She shook her head, "don't lie to me. Don't make up some story about Justin being dead to try to make me stop worrying. That's horrible! Tell me what happened."

"He's dead Jude," he spoke slowly; "I wouldn't lie to you. I saw it with my own eyes and I wish I hadn't. He stepped out onto the curb, the traffic was crazy and the truck overshot the lights or something. It hit him and he flew through the air and now he's dead."

Tears were pooling in Jude's eyes as she shook her head and took a few steps back. Tommy frowned at her, confused by her reaction. He tried to reach out for her hand but she turned and fled for the door.

"Jude!" he called but she was already gone.

---

Jude sat on an overturned bucket in the Janitor's closet, frowning at a nearby mop and repeatedly shoving away a broom that was insisting on sliding along the wall and on top of her. It really was far too complicated to get alone time in G-Major.

She rested an elbow on her knee and propped her chin up on her upturned hand as she stared blankly at the door. Justin was dead. He'd died a half hour ago. He was about to destroy her world and now he was gone. He'd hurt her, he'd manipulated her and now he was dead. He'd been charming at times, had a bright future ahead of him and also when he wanted to; possessed a killer sense of humor and now he was dead.

He was her first big mistake…

She looked down at her stomach and felt the tears began to well up in her eyes again. Not even born yet and already her daughter was half an orphan. She was doing a fantastic job of screwing her life up.

She closed her eyes and Justin's face flittered into her mind and she realized for the first time – she's allowed herself to hate him. For everything he'd done to her and everything he could do she'd distanced herself from him emotionally until the only thing she'd send his way was hatred and anger. She'd practically brought about the situation they'd been in by not allowing him one chance or option to prove himself something other then person he'd been. All that bitterness, all that resentment, the anger… it was all gone.

Now she was sad in the light of the tragedy that had transpired - a life that was granted; full of many mistakes, was over. Seventeen years old.

She ran both hands through her hair, her fingers curling and clutching the strands as she leaned forward until her head met her knees and the tears began to stream down her cheeks.

---

After a good half hour or tears, frustration and conflicting emotions, Jude decided to venture out of the closet. She examined her reflection in the small compact mirror she'd retrieved from her handbag. Her eyes were red but with a little concealer she was able to hide the telltale red blotchiness on her cheeks that gave away the fact that she'd been crying.

She slowly pushed the door open, not wishing to attract attention to the fact that she had in fact been in the janitor's closet. Wouldn't that be fun to explain? 'Darius is punishing me with mop duty?' Right…

She jumped when she noticed a human figure slumped against the wall to the left of the door. "Tommy?" She whispered as she stepped into the hall and closed the door behind her.

"Hey," he stood up quickly, brushing off his jeans as he smiled nervously. "Sadie didn't se you go out the front door and Wally and Kyle were playing… some sport I didn't recognize out back so I figured you hadn't left. I searched the building and either you were under Darius' desk or here. So… I thought you might need a little space."

She smiled a sad but hopefully reassuring smile, "Thanks," she glanced at the floor, "though keeping guard a few feet away doesn't really seem to fit the description of 'space'," she drew quotation marks in the air.

"I was worried about you."

"I'm fine," she leaned back against the door. "I am. It all feels so strange but I'm okay…"

He searched her face, noticing the tell tale red of her eyes and the hint of tear stains on her cheeks. He didn't look convinced.

"Can we just go home? I'm really tired." She asked softly, her eyes big and pleading.

He nodded, "Okay."

---

Tommy was in the shower and Jude staring blankly at the television screen when there was a knock at the apartment door. She stood up, wrapping her cardigan around her shoulders as she went to answer it.

"Kwest?" she leaned against the door and motioned for him to come inside. "Were you and Tommy going out?"

"No." She noticed he had a plastic bag with some cans of beer in one hand. He looked nervous. "I just thought I'd call in and say hi."

"Right," she motioned behind her absentmindedly, "He's just in the shower. He shouldn't be long." She perched on the edge of the sofa and he sank down into one of the armchairs. "Didn't you and Sadie have a date last night? How'd it go?"

He smiled, "It was great. We got a pizza and went down to the water front to watch the sunset." She noticed how his expression softened as he thought of her sister.

"I'm really glad you two are seeing each other, Kwest. You're good for her."

"She's good for me too," he said and she could tell the statement was genuine.

Tommy stepped out of the bathroom (Fully dressed – he'd grown tired of tormenting Jude in uncomfortable situations) and seemed surprised to see his friend. "Kwest; I didn't know you were coming over."

Kwest turned to Tommy and stood up quickly, the plastic bag still clutched in his hand crinkling as it swung through the air. He glanced over his shoulder at Jude and she got the distinct feeling he wished she wasn't there.

"I'm going to go make my self a hot drink," she mumbled as she stood up quickly, "Anyone want anything?"

Kwest smiled appreciatively and shook his head.

"I'm fine, thanks Jude," Tommy's eyes drifted away from Kwest momentarily to check her over, he was obviously still concerned.

She slowly closed the kitchen door behind her and reached into an overhead cupboard for a mug. Despite her attempt to distract herself she found herself catching snippets of conversation that drifted through the thin wall. She didn't want to eavesdrop but it was impossible to tune out.

Kwest was speaking, "Look, I just know the anniversary is coming up and I was worried. With Jude here and everything that's going on-"

"I don't want to talk about it, okay. Thanks for the concern but-" his voice softened and Jude frowned, unable to make out the rest of his statement. She waited for the jug to boil then poured hot water into her mug and mixed in some chocolate powder and milk.

"Jude should be the priority right now, Tom,"

"You don't have to tell me that!" Anger was creeping into Tommy's voice, "Damnit Kwest, she's all the matters right now. Don't go dredging up the past. It's dead and buried."

"You say that but it's not true. Is it? Since when have you been able to just let it go? Huh?"

Jude stared into the murkiness of her drink, feeling her stomach lurching. Whatever Tommy and Kwest were discussing sounded bad. She closed her eyes. How well did she really know the enigma that was Tommy Quincy? His actions, his attention, his affection toward her were still a source of utter bafflement.

She thought of his scar, of the absence of his family in his life. She eyed the clinical kitchen, a perfect extension of his clinical apartment and stark life. There was something about Tommy, something that was missing, something that hinted at some tragedy or dark secret.

She covered her mouth with one hand, stifling the gasp of panic that was welling up inside her.

"Are you okay?" she glanced up to see Tommy standing in the doorway, frowning at her in concern.

She nodded, quickly standing up and clutching the hot chocolate in one hand, "I'm fine. Is Kwest still here?"

He shook his head, "He had to get home."

"Is everything okay?" it was her turn to search his face as he shook his head, forced a smile and offered false assurance. "Tommy, I just, I get this feeling…"

As if he had read her mind and knew the conversation was going somewhere he didn't want it to he shook his head again and moved into the room, "I was thinking of making a late night snack, you want anything?"

She stepped in front of him, lifting her gaze to his and refusing to break it. "Tommy?"

He clenched his teeth and looked away, impatiently attempting to sidestep her and cross the room. He misjudged the space and his shoulder crashed into her arm, the mug of hot chocolate slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor, spilling its contents onto her leg before smashing into pieces on the tiled floor.

She cried out in pain, instantly leaning over and desperately trying to pull the fabric of her knee length skirt, soaked with burning liquid, away from her skin. Tommy's face took on an ashen color as he wrapped an arm around her and quickly guided her to the kitchen sink. He doused a cloth with cold water and began to wipe down her skirt. The burning sensation began to dissipate, replaced with the shivering cold water of the cloth.

Jude blushed as she realized the presence of Tommy's hand on her thigh, granted saving her from a third degree burn. "Tommy, its okay, stop," she put her hand over his, pulling it away from her leg as she took a step back. "I'm fine. I'm going to go change out of this…" she didn't meet his eyes as she rushed out of the room and he interpreted the reason for one other then embarrassment.

He leaned back against the counter, throwing the cloth down angrily into the sink as he swore to himself.

---

When Jude stepped out of her room the next morning she found Tommy waiting for her in the lounge, the mail on the coffee table in front of him and one envelope clutched in his hand as he watched her approach.

"What's up Quincy?" she asked, feeling that same uncomfortable feeling from last night as she wrapped her dressing gown a little tighter around her nightgown.

"This," he leaned forward to hand her the envelope.

She glanced at him in confusion then scanned the address on the envelope. She didn't recognize the writing straight away until her eyes paused on her name. She turned it over and began to tear open the flap.

"Jude, are you sure you want to do that?" Tommy interrupted as he stood to his feet and walked over to her. "Nothing from him has ever been good."

She shrugged, "He's dead Quincy. He can't hurt me anymore." She tore open the rest of the envelope and took out the thin piece of folded paper inside. With one final glance at Tommy she began to read, first silently and then out loud.

Jude,

Please don't tear up this letter. I can see you right now. You've probably got a lighter in one hand and that familiar stubborn gleam in your eyes but please just hold off for a couple of minutes? You don't owe me that; you don't owe me anything but please?

I've thought about my actions, both of old and more recently and I've realized how wrong I've been. I can't believe what I said to you at the park. Please know I didn't mean it. I never intended to go to the press – I would never do that. I was trying to manipulate you to do what I wanted which is pretty much all I've ever done to you. I was hurting you to get what I wanted and that was so very wrong.

I want to explain myself or… if I'm being entirely honest; I want to make excuses. When I said that time that I was too scared to tell my family that wasn't the entire truth. I don't really have any. My father was killed in a car crash when I was four and my mother died of cancer when I was seven. I had no extended family and I've been a ward of the state ever since. I've been passed around from foster home to foster home ever since. At the moment I'm staying a center for older teens who can't be placed until I turn 18 in a couple of months then I'm on my own.

I've never had a real family and I think that's why I've been so selfishly focused on having you and the baby in my life. I wanted us to be a family. I wanted someone in the world who would love me unconditionally and I thought our child could be that. I wanted someone to care about me and I thought someday (when we overcame our past) you could be that.

But there's the problem, right? It was all about me and what you could both do and be for me. I have a lot to learn about the true meaning of family…

I'm sorry.

I could have called you or braved Tommy and came around to the apartment to say this but I've decided to do as you've asked and stay out of your life. Believe me when I say I hope this isn't a permanent arrangement. My hope that is that given time and space you will allow me some small part in our child's life but I'm not expecting it, I'm not asking it. As I've said; you don't owe me anything but I owe you a lifetime of apologies.

Please believe me when I say I'm sorry. Please don't worry about me doing anything further to hurt you. I'll disappear into the shadows and I'll keep your secret for as long as you ask. I'll take it to the grave if that's what you want. I promise that. If you need anything; financial help or anything else – I'm ready; I'm willing and just hoping you'll call on me.

Maybe some day in the future you could send me a photograph of the baby? Our child, Jude... Hopefully she's possesses all those amazing things about you and the one or two thing about me that are positive. Maybe she'll be a good cook? Whatever she is, whoever she becomes… I'm sure she's going to be something pretty amazing…

-Justin

Teasers for Chapter 37

"I think I have the wrong number. I'm looking for Thomas Dutois," a woman's voice explained nervously.

"You've got the right number but he's not in right now," Jude explained as she scanned the room for paper and a pen, "can I take a message?"

The women sighed and after a moment's pause said curtly; "Just tell him his mother called."

Before Jude could respond the sound of the dial tone rang harshly in her ear. Frowning, she placed the phone back in it's cradle.