My parents and Paul's dad were so happy to meet Gabriel and to hold him. The next few days at the hospital go well as Paul and I get into Gabriel's routine and learn how to take care of a newborn 24/7. Paul is such a great father and he already loves Gabriel so very much and so do I, we both love him a lot. The next five days after Gabriel was born were full of; diaper changes, visitors, feedings, short naps for all three of us McCartney's, little laundry and so many other things. The house got messy fast as neither of us had the energy or time to do laundry because of the baby's needs and being a parent is a constant, never ending job. Paul and I had to adjust quickly to putting Gabriel's needs before our own, making sure he's fed and has a clean diaper, and personal time is very limited as we have this little newborn to take care of. Our free time when Gabriel is sleeping is spent as we nap and try to catch up on missed sleep. We both had no idea that being a new parent was going to be this incredibly hard and exhausting, we thought it'd be hard to an extent but we couldn't have expected it to be this time consuming and tiring. Nonetheless we both love our son unconditionally and wouldn't trade being a parent to him for anything. Paul and I don't talk as much as we usually do as my parents stayed for two days after he was born and just being so busy with everything.
"Will you change his diaper?" Paul asks me as I'm trying to pick up dirty clothes off the floor of our room and I planned on taking a bath in a minute.
"Can't you? I'm busy and tired." I answer.
"I'm tired and I'm busy too, can't you just do it?" he retorts and I sigh and pick up crying Gabriel and change his diaper and Paul stomps downstairs, somebody is not in a good mood.
Paul's POV
For the most part I love being a dad, apart from the poopy diapers and being sleep deprived, but I can't help but smile while holding my adorable son. It's been a tough past five days as Jackie and I are both tired and time is a problem. I've been a bit snappy with her today as I'm tired and I just want twenty minutes alone to myself in silence. I told her to change his diaper and I snapped when she complained and I go downstairs and I hear the phone start to ring as I'm at the bottom of the stairs and i pick it up.
"Hello?" I say with a sigh as I sit on the couch and scratch my thin beard.
"Is Jackie there?" I hear a male voice, obviously American.
"Who's this?" I ask. Why would a guy from America be calling my wife and how did he get our number?
"I'm a friend of hers, Eric Brooks." he says and I nod to myself. Am I really on the phone with my wife's ex boyfriend right now? She's never told me much about him and now I'm a bit suspicious as to why he'd be calling and why she's never told me about him, we tell each other everything.
I change Gabriel's diaper and set him back in his bassinet and stick his pacifier in his mouth and he falls back asleep as Paul walks into the bedroom.
"How come you never told me 'bout yer ex Eric?" he says in a ticked off tone as he stands in front of me sporting his dark beard, sweatpants and a t shirt. Why is Eric coming up all of a sudden? I told Paul about him once or twice, but I left out the stuff I'm ashamed and embarrassed of, what I couldn't bring myself to tell Paul.
"Why is he being brought up all of a sudden?" I ask.
"Because he was just on the phone wanting to talk to you and I managed to get out of him that apparently you cheated on me with him back when we were in the states last March?" he says in an angry tone. Eric is the kind or guy who's manipulative and always wants attention. I've never cheated on Paul and I'd never want to be with him after what happened.
"What?!" I say.
"Tell me the truth, Jackie. Have you ever cheated on me?!" he asks yelling a bit and I hope Gabriel won't wake up.
"No, never!" I say truthfully but he huffs and crosses his arms.
"Have you ever cheated on me?" I ask and he looks to his feet, avoiding my question.
"You have, haven't you?" I say.
"Paul!" I say angrily.
"I haven't!" he exclaims lifting up his eyes to lay on me and I believe him, but should I so easily?
"What else did Eric say?" I ask.
"Nothing, he wouldn't budge when I asked him what happened between you two. What happened, Jackie?" he pleas in a slightly sad tone and I look to my feet. I can't tell him, I just can't. He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me in a tight hug and I start to cry into his chest.
"You can tell me." I hear him say nervously and shaky. I shake my head into his chest while he rubs my back. The only person other then him and me that knows what happened is Holly and she swore to never tell.
"Please tell me, you're worrying me." I hear him softly say as tears continue to escape my eyes.
"I didn't cheat on you with him or anybody, ever." I murmur into his chest.
"I know you never would, love. I dunno why you're so afraid to tell me." he answers.
"I can't, Paul. I can't." I mumble into his chest and I faintly hear him sigh.
"Yes you can, Jackie. You can tell me anything, you know that." he says.
What do I do? What will he think when I tell him? I never told him and I wish I could take it back, I really wish I could but I'm afraid. I hate Eric for what he did to me and what he took away from me, what he forced upon me, what happened during our relationship was a nightmare. All through our relationship it was, and thats probably why it was so hard to lose Paul that one time.