Chapter 36

Sorry the updates have been slow with this story, I have a major case of writers block... I hope that it will pass so I can continue but for now please bear with me. Thank you to everyone who is reviewing and following this story.

Location: Prentiss Household

Day & Time: Saturday, 11.49

Emily had been left alone with Morgan; she could feel his glare against her back she turned to look at him. "What?" Emily asked in more of a question. "How did you not know?" Morgan asked, Emily could not help but chuckle. "In-between him going up for patrol, being sent undercover, JJ going missing, between coming back home and trying to hold my family together?" Emily said with a slightly amused tone. Her eyes saddened slightly "The reason I didn't know, is because I thought I had miscarried" Emily said holding Morgan's eyes in her own.

Morgan seemed lost for words, "When did you find out?" he asked. "When I ended up in hospital," Emily said with a slight chuckle. "I promise you Morgan nothing happened while I was undercover so get that thought out of your head," Emily said with a pointed look.

"Did anything happen while you were undercover that you need to talk about?" Morgan asked carefully, everyone including Emily had been more concerned over JJ and her well-being, not one of them had checked to see how Emily was.

She gave him a soft smile, "Nothing" the tone in her voice betrayed her but instead of trying again, and Morgan knew it was best to leave it alone. For now. "When is it you go up against the panel?" he asked.

"I go in front of them Monday" Emily let out a soft sigh, "What do you think will happen?" Emily let out a half laugh, "I could either lose my badge and other than that I have no clue" Emily said with a slight sigh.

Emily knew at some point she would have to deal with everything that had happened to her while she was undercover and everything she had done, but for now she would hide it all away, put it to the back of her mind while she continued to build a wall against her heart and against her mind, closing everything in to a compartment which she would open in time or not open at all.

She did not think her wife could handle what she had done, what she had been forced to do. She would continue to hide everything from everyone knowing her sole purpose was to help Jennifer heal and deep down she knew if her wife found out it would break her, and the team would look at her differently, she also doubted she wold tell the panel everything.

Emily did not know if she would be able to continue doing her job anymore if it was too much, she had been pulled away from her family too many times, she had hurt her family so much. However, the bigger part of why she did the job outweighed everything. She needed to do her job because for each person they caught for each victim they found made the world slightly safer for her children for her wife.

She looked at Morgan knowing her could never know, no one could ever know the truth of what happened while she was gone. She could try to forgive herself but she doubt anyone of them would forgive her, she knew neither the team nor her wife would look at her the same again it was just another thing she would take to the grave when her time was up.

She would not rip her family apart any more than it had been, Amy was still fragile and her loving wife was still holding it together, though they had started to heal, she knew deep down it was going to be a long road. She maybe living a slight lie but the truth is, the lie outweighed how much the truth would hurt. How much it would truly rip her family apart and Emily was unwilling to risk losing her family again.

Location: Palm Drive

They pulled up in front of the last house, JJ could not help but smile, and it was a newly built house within a small-gated community. Garcia looked on in awe, she had seen the brochure but it hadn't really done the place any justice it was a large five bedroom house the estate agent was waiting on the driveway for them to arrive she smiled softly as they all piled out of the car, "This is the last house" she said brightly, hoping that this one filled all of JJ's needs.

The house was beautiful, though she knew Emily's taste; she just hoped this house was not like the last. Emily liked houses that had some character, though the house was a new build it did not lack it. The first thing JJ noticed was the triple garage, big enough for both cars plus enough room for Casey's as well.

The house had a nice feel to it; even though it was a new build, it felt old. They continued to the front door, JJ squeezed Amy's hand slightly as they estate agent opened the door revealing a larger hall way, "Wow" Amy mumbled slightly as they made their way inside.

"I will wait in the kitchen if you would like to take a look around" JJ nodded slightly "Thank you" Garcia had been somewhat quite in-between the houses they looked at. "Amy why don't you go and have a look around, while me and Garcia have a look upstairs." JJ smiled softly as Amy nodded.

"What's wrong Pen?" JJ asked as they made their way upstairs. "Nothing is wrong, just concerned. How did none of you know?" Garcia asked as she turned to look at JJ.

JJ could not help the soft smile though she could not find the words she wanted to use. The words that she did not even want to speak. "Had a lot going on these past few months." JJ's voice held a slight sadness to it as Garcia nodded. "As long as nothing has happened to Emily and as long as you both are okay with this" Garcia rambled slightly causing JJ to sigh softly.

"I am fine with this Pen, we both thought Emily had miscarried but I think it is safe to say we have both been proven wrong," JJ said in a softly. They both spent time looking around as JJ began to feel more uneasy, if she was honest she just wanted to go home even though it didn't feel like it anymore.

Amy had made her way into the far bedroom where her Mom and Garcia were, she made a slight sound so JJ would not jump. "I think Ma will love this house Mom," Amy said with a slight smile on her face. "What about you Amy?" JJ asked.

The bedrooms were beautiful and spacious the outer so-called granny flat would suit Casey enough room for when her family came over, far enough away from the house to give her privacy but close enough at the same time. The office space would be great for Emily and the safe would be ideal for her gun, the living area downstairs seemed perfect for them, two lounges a dining room, a big kitchen which JJ knew Emily would love, there was a den which would give their children plenty of room to play in, the rear garden had a pool with fencing around giving them peace of mind that Henry wouldn't be able to fall in. In all JJ, thought the house was perfect for them and she could see them all living here.

"I like it Mom" Amy said with a bright smile, she had taken the time to look around she had fallen in love with the big bedroom which she hoped her Mom and Ma would allow her to have, the small balcony would enable her to sit and watch the stars without her parents worrying about her safety which was a blessing. In truth, the house just felt right to her and the look in her Mom's eyes told her that she felt it too. "Can we get Ma to come and see it?" Amy asked in a slightly rushed breath. JJ nodded slightly as they all made their way back into the kitchen.

"I think Emily will love it," Garcia said as they drove back home. JJ smiled slightly "I think you're right," JJ said slightly amused the more time she had spent with Garcia the more comfortable she had begun to feel. Amy was sat in the back looking out the window JJ knew that look she had seen it many times in Emily it was one of wonder and hope maybe the move would help all of them heal but first she wanted both Henry and Emily to see the house, which both Amy and herself had fallen in love with.