ELENA'S POV

It only took me a moment to convert from the state of emotional rally to a state of complete, pure sexual arousal.

With Stefan, the moments where I experienced pure lust were rare. It's not that I didn't want him, or that he didn't turn me on, but my feelings for him were something completely different than all those teenage movies suggested feelings should be. Maybe that's because Stefan was different, different from the other boys and different in general, so that made our relationship different from the start, maybe even made me different. I'm not saying there weren't times when I didn't want to rip his clothes off in the middle of the most inappropriate situation, or when he got out of the bed I didn't want to pull him back in, despite the soreness in my body and sweat coating my skin and the fact we just had sex more times than I can count. I'm not even denying those moments when I would be sitting in class, deep into thought, thinking about all the things I wanted to do to him.

But, my relationship with Stefan was determined by many other factors in our lives. Like constant danger and worry for the safety of the people we love. We were constantly fighting for our lives and discovering things about ourselves that most people don't have to deal with. So, in those moments, which were pretty often, sex wasn't the first thing on my mind, or even the second, and it wasn't what I needed from him. If he minded, he had never let me know, or show it, which I took as a sign that he felt the same as Stefan and me were always able to be honest with each other and in sync with our feelings. Back then, feeling safe was my number one priority, making sure people I love are safe and taken care of came even before my own safety. And I knew I can count on Stefan for that, which made me love him immensely, because I fell in love with a man who loved me enough to love my family and friends as much as he loves me. Who respects me and treats me as his equal even though he has so much more experience than me, who lets me make my own decisions and choices, even if he thinks they're wrong, and not treat me like a child who, in the eyes of many, I was.

It was still different than it was with Matt, with whom sex was an obligation, a right of passage, something you have to do as a rule when you reach a certain age, just like getting your learners permit. There was no passion between Matt and me and while it was enjoyable, because it was new and unexplored, it's only later that I've come to realize true charms of sex. Because in those moments with Stefan, when there was no danger, once the fire started building between us it wouldn't stop until I was sure it's going to swallow us whole. Just one touch from him made me feel like I have to cross my legs if I want to stop my insides from spilling out.

But there were times when I wished for more than that, when I wished for danger and excitement in a different way. I actually wanted to play my part in one of those silly, teenage movies. I guess I got that with Damon. With him, I got to wake up without a single worry on my mind and spend my whole day in bed. It was so relaxing, that summer, those three months, I felt like I was born again. Like I'm this whole other person, living some shiny, new life.

It took me some time to realize quiet life is not meant for me. Danger caught up with us again, and I realized that even if I weren't dealing with these problems, there would always be something else. I realized there's a reason why those movies end where they do - because there's no story to be told afterwards. At one point, you have to get out of the bed. And for the first time after a long time, I realized, I don't have that safety anymore, the one I had with Stefan. Because, in the midst of my own battles, I had to worry will Damon do what I asked from him to do. Will he protect my brother, my friends, or will he selfishly put me first? It took me months to realize he had never put me first, though, making me feel to stupid for not realizing it sooner. By putting me first, he was putting himself first, because he couldn't bear the thought of losing me. He never cared more for me than he cared for himself, because if he did, he would have done what I asked from him at the time. I never wanted to be first, not at the cost of life of one of my loved ones.

I don't have a single idea why I'm thinking about this while Stefan is pressing his lips against my neck, going lower, as much as my dress allows him to, then traveling back to my lips. He has my hands pinned against a wall, taking complete control over the situation, while my palms are burning in flames out of the need to feel his skin on mine. But as he's kissing me, I'm thinking about how no number of orgasms could replace the feeling of safety I was provided with when he held me in his arms. The world was burning around us, innocent people were dying, prophecies written in languages we didn't understand were coming true, but all he had to do is pull me close to him for everything to stop. To make me believe everything is going to be okay. His embrace is where I found my strength, where I went to recharge my batteries for a new day, new battle.

I was just a girl, so young, so naive, so inexperienced. I found the love of my life at the age of 17, and I was foolish enough to throw it all away, just so I can live someone else's life. Life that no longer belongs to me.

I wish I knew then what I know now, maybe my choices would have been different, if I knew what really counts in life. The difference between having a boyfriend and having a partner. But there's no need or point to dwell on the past, as it is in the past.

Not that many years passed since my life turned upside down, and I wasn't with a lot of other guys. I think I didn't have to be, because I feel like I've made a full circle when it comes to love and relationships. The man kissing me is my past, my present and my future. I often felt like this is the only version of him I'll ever know, jealous of Katherine for knowing him as someone I'll never get to meet, but I was mistaken. I know the boy inside of Stefan better than Katherine ever did, despite the fact they were living in the same timeline, long before I was born. Stefan carries that boy inside of him, he always did, from the moment we met. I can see that boy every time he breaks down and lets me cradle him in my arms, like he's not almost two centuries old, strong, powerful vampire who can rip the whole world apart with just his teeth. When he's afraid. When he wakes up with a tousled hair. When he smiles out of embarrassment. He showed me that boy so many times that, sometimes, I can't make a difference between the man he is and a boy he carries inside of him. He gave me all of him, and I did the same. He holds every part of me, the person I am now, the girl I was at 17, and the girl I was before the time we shared together. I gave him a piece of her through all the stories I've shared with him.

I've loved Stefan long before I met him, and I will love him long after this world stops spinning. We're woven from the same cloth and everything I did in life lead me straight to him. I don't regret it. I don't regret a single thing if that's the reason I'll be waking up in his arms for the rest of my life.

The thought of sharing an eternity with Stefan makes my skin hot, so hot that I think my dress will burn down and I'll be left naked in the middle of a hallway.

I feel like my brain is going to explode because its been caught up between whatever his lips are doing to my body and my thoughts about our love that, at this moment, seems too big for me to comprehend. It seems bigger than the universe.

I feel like I finally got it, like I finally got it right. My sandy haired boy with eyes like two opal gems, the boy who saved me. The boy who keeps saving me in so many ways, and I keep saving him. Together, we're like one body with two hearts.

My soulmate, the love of my life, my partner in every sense imaginable. He is my everything because, well, he is everything.

When I was little, my mother told me humans are made out of stardust. Our organs, our skin, this shell we're living in are not what we're made of - it's just what's keeping us alive. Stardust in us is what's making us shine.

Well, whatever dust from whatever star is in my body must be the same dust from the same star that's in Stefan's, because together, we shine as twice as bright.

Even though this moment is etched with realizations of my heart, it's still dominated by raw passion. Lust. Want and need.

I need him to survive, just like I need blood, but I also want him, I want him so much that it wouldn't make a difference to me if he took me in this hallway. But he never would, my Stefan, no. He would never play with the danger of sharing my body with anyone else's eyes. He would be too worried that my spine hurts because of the hard wall he would be pressing me against, or that the air out here is too rough for my gentle skin. He would much rather put me on a comfortable mattress draped with satin sheets.

If he could, he would make love to me on a cloud.

When I inhale deeply, the only thing that I can smell is that spicy, musky smell coming off of his body, and I know that he wants me, now, right this instant. It makes me tingle, the realization someone wants me that much.

We're kissing until our lips go numb, which is when he lowers his mouth on my neck. At first, he's planting butterfly kisses on my skin then, when he reaches that spot he knows is delicate, starts paying special attention to it. It makes me shiver, both the physical feeling and the realization that he had remembered the exact spot on my neck. He has my hands pinned against a wall tightly, but I manage to set them free. He groans in protest at my action while sucking my skin dry.

I smile softly, thinking about how he won't be complaining in few minutes. I wrap my fingers around the door knob and twist it.

When he hears the sound of the door opening, his lips come to a halt and for a moment there I think I can hear my skin whimpering. He lifts his look out of surprise, his eyes going between the open door and me.

Finally, he asks, "Are you sure?"

I'm surprised he even has to ask and I don't even try to hide my urgency when I answer, "Yes. Oh God, yes!"

Something in his eyes shifts, like the realization this is really happening finally hits him. More of that spicy smell fills my nostrils, the smell of want and need feels the air. It coats my skin, making it sharp like the edge of a paper, and ultra sensitive to his touch and even the touch of air. Knowing he wants to slip inside of me so desperately makes me wet. I drive my hips into his, which is when I realize his jeans are pretty tight around the area of his crotch. My lips curl into a knowing smile as my hand slips down and my palm falls on his erection. He growls in appreciation and before I know it I'm in his arms and the door is closing behind us.

I'm not sure how I want to do this, fast or slow. My body is screaming for this long craved satisfaction, while my heart wants to enjoy every second of it. When he yanks the zipper of my dress down violently, fast, I know my body's desires will rule over. I guess we'll have a lot of time for love making our hearts crave, but first we have to satisfy this hungry desire and lust growing inside of us.

I didn't even know he can move this fast, but all it takes is for me to blink and my dress is already on the floor. He's looking at my body, but I can't decipher the look in his eyes, it isn't pure lust anymore. He's looking at me like he might cry any minute now. He lost me and now he got me back and for a moment I think it's too much for him.

Then, the clasp of my bra comes undone and it falls down my arms. I gasp. I haven't even seen his arms going behind my back, I must have been busy with watching his face intently.

He grins at me.

I find it so unfair that I'm standing here in front of him half naked, while he's fully dressed, so I start working on his clothes. I get him out of the most of it in no time, and he lets me, before pushing me on the bed.

He knows exactly which bed is mine. I smile at the fact that everything I own is going to smell like him again.

I'm his.

He positions himself above me, looking at my body appreciatively.

"See something you like?" I ask, lifting my back off of the bed, bringing my hips in the air.

He puts his hands on my ass and squeezes it lightly, making me suck in air out of surprise. He grins before lowering his lips on my neck. I can feel his teeth on my delicate skin, especially his fangs. That sends shivers down my body, I get this wild desire to press his head down so his fangs would go through my skin. So he can drink from me, from my vein, not in the order to feed, but to..

I shake my head. That's crazy.

Then, he hooks his thumbs on the hem of my panties and stars pulling them down.

The mere thought that I'm going to have sex with Stefan almost gives me an orgasm.

STEFAN'S POV

Her skin feels like satin. My lips are rough on it, I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her.

Then I remember she's been through worse.

My fangs keep slipping against her skin, but I can't help it. I've never learned how to control those urges and now I'm grateful, because every time she feels the tip of my tooth on her skin, her body shivers and a delicious, lusty scent spreads from her body. Fear is stopping her from reacting to it, fear of the unknown, but she likes it.

My hands keep going down her body faster than my lips do, so when my fingers reach her panties, the only piece of clothing left on her, I pull them down. Her body becomes stiff before she relaxes completely and arches her back. I pull them down to her knees and she does the rest in order to discard them completely.

She's so beautiful. I almost can't believe how beautiful she is, or the fact that I've forgotten it.

Why have I been trying so hard to forget her?

A memory of the pain she caused me stars swelling and I suppress it. No more pain, at least not of this kind.

"You know," she says, making me realize I got stuck in my thoughts, "It looks like you're uncomfortable in those briefs," she smiles mischievously before pulling her body in a sitting position, making me do the same. She does to me the same thing I did to her - hooks her thumbs on the hem of my underwear and yanks them down.

When she does so, a small, quiet gasp, one she tries to hide so it comes out as husky and unnatural, escapes her lips, and I stiffen. She starts pulling her body down on the bed and, in the meantime, I get rid of my briefs completely.

"Stefan," her voice is pleading, she sounds like a starving child standing in front of a forbidden buffet, "I need you," her hips come closer to mine.

I swallow. All of a sudden I feel nervous, but I try not to let it show.

I put my hands on her hips, feeling her bones against my palms, and pull her closer to me.

When she feels me against her center, she whimpers, and when I push myself inside of her, that knocks the air right out of her.

From that point on, it's all about our bodies moving like sea waves through a storm, crashing against each other until we find shelter in our own destruction. I feel like this is the first moment I exist, like nothing I did before matters, or as if everything I did comes down to this. Being with her. Being inside of her in more ways than one.

I never thought we'll find ourselves in this position ever again. I even forbid myself to hope.

I lower myself down enough so every time I thrust inside of her, my stomach falls on hers. She hooks her arms around my neck and lifts herself up in order to kiss me, to kiss my lips and my chest and I can feel her breasts pressing against me. I try to keep my balance with just one arm so I can bring my other one around her. I put my palm against her back and press her closer to me. Like I want to push her inside of me. As if I think that's the only fair thing to do, for her to be inside of me since I'm already inside of her.

The sounds she's making are heavenly. The way she keeps saying my name, first softly, through a whisper, then rougher, like she's not trying to beg me anymore, but command me. Every pant and every moan she makes stick to my skin. My ears are like a sponge that absorb every sound she makes.

I never want her to stop making those appreciative sounds.

She clings onto me. I can feel every inch of her skin on mine. I can feel her fingers, gripping me tightly, leaving marks on my shoulders.

She's everything I remember and everything I tried to forget. She's old and new at the same time.

She's loud and silent and submissive and in charge and I never want this moment to end.

ELENA'S POV

I don't think sex ever felt so good before.

Maybe because I've never wanted it so badly before. I feel like I've been waiting centuries for this.

I'm trying to find words to describe it to myself since we were done. Trying to find an answer to that inevitable question Caroline will probably ask once I tell her. So, has was it?

I can't find an answer, there are no words good enough.

It was like flying. I felt like I grew wings and flew away. First slowly, then fast. I flew away, far, far away, above the clouds and the sky, I flew so far that I reached the stars. I was flying so fast that I couldn't even count them all.

I saw the moon.

Then I started going down and I crashed into an ocean. A big wave came over me, suffocating me with its size and freshness.

I never felt better than when I felt him erupt inside of me, it felt so good that it pushed me off of the edge of a cliff I was standing on into the hole of my own satisfaction.

Now, we're lying next to each other, in my rather small bed. His arms are tied around me, like he's afraid I'm going to run away if he doesn't tie me down, but I don't mind. With time, he'll realize I'm not going anywhere. Not this time, not ever again. Also, I enjoy having him so near me, I enjoy the feeling of his skin on mine. He's planting butterfly kisses all over my body and when he reaches my ticklish spots, I giggle.

He stops when he discovers those spots and his kisses become faster, increasing by the number, which is when my giggle turns into a laugh. He says he would never miss a chance to hear me laugh.

"I thought I won't be able to reach you again," I furrow my brows, confused by why would he say such a thing, especially now, in this self sufficient moment after sex, when I realize it's not his voice that said those words.

He must have thought it's me who said it, because his body becomes stiff all of a sudden, facing the realization that there's someone else in the room.

We both whip our heads to the source of the voice. The girl from Stefan's room from the other day is standing by Caroline's bed, only few feet away from us.

"I didn't realize you have an active witch for a friend," her voice is serious, thick, unfriendly, as well as her eyes as she keeps them locked on my face, "The last time I checked, she was dead."

Neither me, nor Stefan, answer her. The way she's looking at me, with so much hate in her eyes, freezes my bones. I have a feeling I will shatter from the inside if she keeps looking at me like that.

"Oh well, I'll just have to deal with that little problem by myself," she says nonchalantly. She's floating in the air, like a ghost. A very vindictive spirit. She must be projecting herself again, just like Bonnie said the last time.

"Now," her eyes go from me to Stefan and her face softens. A small, almost invisible smile climbs up her lips. She looks pretty like this, with her face wearing a friendly expression. Scratch that, she looks beautiful, with her coal black hair and coffee tan, big, brown eyes, like a deer's. She looks almost unreal, like one of those drawings, girls on papers who hold more beauty than this world has ever known.

And I don't like the way she's looking at Stefan, like she knows him, like she has feelings for him.

How can a person be like that, how can one change from complete hatred to absolute affection in the span of few seconds, just by shifting her eyes?

And in that moment, when she looks at him like she would like to coddle him in her arms for the whole day, he moves away from me. He doesn't stand up, he just backs away from me, his skin leaving mine. He backs on the other side of the bed which isn't even that far, but still.

When he moves away from me physically, I can also feel his emotions shifting. Like he loves me a whole lot less than he did just a moment before. I can't explain it, but it's like someone is trying to rip away a part of me. All of a sudden I have a feeling that I'm on the operating table, wide open, and there's a Stefan shaped hole inside of me.

I take a glimpse of his face, which is when I see it, the way he's looking at her. Like he would rather have her next to him than me.

"Oh crap," the girl says, rolling her eyes.

I can hear footsteps in the hallway.

"Your witch friend is coming," she says before smirking at me, evil, like she knows the amount of pain I carry. Like she's glad. "We'll have to continue this another time."

Then, she disappears.

When she does, I look at Stefan. I'm ready to jump him, to ask him what the hell was that. But when my look falls on his face, he looks confused. Like he's waking from some kind of a trans.

He frowns. "What did just happen?" he asks helplessly.

Before I'm able to answer him, doors of our dorm room fly wide open.

"Oh my God," Caroline says surprised, with big pauses between each word.

Bonnie doesn't seem as surprised as Caroline is. She stumbles into the room with a determined expression on her face. "I felt her again," she says, looking around, as if we're hiding the projection of our new enemy somewhere in the room.

"She was here," I say. Stefan pulls more sheets up my body, trying to protect me from wandering eyes, even though these are just my friends, it feels nice to have someone look after you like this. "Not anymore," I add.

Bonnie huffs displeased, "Obviously."

"Bonnie!" Caroline snaps and Bonnie whips her head around, "We have more important questions right now than some evil ghost," she looks towards Stefan and me significantly.

Bonnie turns around, looking in our direction like she's just seeing us for the first time since she came into the room. "Oh," she says, faking surprise. She's totally faking it, I can tell.

"I know, right?" Caroline jumps in.

Bonnie stays silent for a moment, then frowns. "Sorry, no," she turns to Caroline, "Why are we surprised by this again?" she asks.

I can feel a laugh bubbling in my lungs, but it stays there because Caroline just shakes her head at Bonnie's question and comes after me.

"Elena Gilbert," she says my full name by which I know I'm in trouble, "We said no boys in the room!" she whines.

I pull the sheet higher, trapping it under my armpits.

"Stefan's not a boy," I roll my eyes, which was clearly a mistake, because Caroline's expression hardens, "He's your friend."

"No," she states, now glaring at him, "He's my friend when he's fully clothed," she crosses her arms over her chest.

We all stay silent, the only sound in the room the sound of Bonnie's inhales and exhales.

"So," Caroline decides to speak again, "Are you, like, back together now?" she asks, clearly curious.

I look at Stefan, only to find him already looking at me. We haven't discussed it yet, we haven't discussed anything.

Caroline can see that from the look we share. "Jesus," her arms fly in the air, "Please don't tell me what I think you're going to tell me."

I would say I don't know why she's making such a big deal out of this, but this is Caroline we're talking about. She doesn't need a reason.

"It kinda just happened," I say, knowing it's a lousy explanation, but it's the first thing that comes to my mind.

She squints her eyes at me, like she can't believe what I'm saying. "What, you just slipped and your clothes fell off so you took the best out of the situation?"

Bonnie's eyes go wide. She's clearly uncomfortable by this, while none of us are fazed. Living with Caroline, you get used to these things.

"How about we take it slow?" Stefan interferes.

Caroline looks at him and calms down significantly. "I'm listening."

"I'll take her out, to dinner, for starters."

I smile at him. I smile at the thought of us on a date.

I wonder how would we act. Would it count as our first date?

I guess I'll find out soon enough.

"That seems reasonable," Caroline nods, "What do you think Elena?"

I look at Caroline, thinking about how she seems this is completely appropriate behavior. She really is one of a kind.

"Yes, we'll go on a date. Now would you please get out so we can put some clothes on?" I start getting slightly annoyed, not with her, but with the situation we're in.

"Wait, are you really completely naked under there?" she asks in surprise.

I take a pillow and throw it in her direction. It falls just before her, touching her toes. "Get out!"

She takes the message and closes the door behind her. I can still hear her in the hallway, telling Bonnie, "They're like, naked in there. Ew."

Bonnie just sighs.

When they're gone, Stefan laughs out loud. I look at him, annoyed and irritated, but when I see that beautiful, wide smile on his face, I laugh as well. I fall on his chest, placing my head on the crook of his neck, and his hand instantly flies over to me and starts caressing me, from the shoulder down.

"Since when did we agree on letting Caroline into our relationship?" I ask.

He laughs some more, but answers with the only truth there is, "Since always."