Ok, I thought I wouldn't be write this because I played through Virmire to figure out how the order changed things. ( I was right about what I thought happened, but it was worth it since Mass Effect is my favorite game of all time. Hurry Up ME3!)

Turns out: the real reason I couldn't write is because homework is a b***h. And so is the person that gave it. I've had to cram in writing here and there.

I don't own robot chicken, or they'd have had a segment with Mass Effect. Think about it: They'd actually be able to have Joker voice himself! (And break the fourth wall in the process)
Yeah, I'm running out of disclaimer jokes, so I thought I should mention that since it seems so obvious. I don't own Mass Effect or any of its characters.

Tali shifted nervously as Wrex sat staring at the door. He didn't move, but he was tensing by the minute. He looked ready to tear something apart, and Tali hoped with everything that it wasn't living. Or anything that would be difficult to repair.

"Where the hell is Bourne?" he finally rumbled.

"Maybe he got caught in the elevator." Garrus joked. Wrex looked at him and glared.

"So does anybody know what's keeping him?" Tali asked, trying to avoid the fight clearly about to break out in front of her. Wrex and Garrus didn't get along well because of their species' history.

"He must still be working on his report. I doubt he'd be able to go without cursing them out in just one draft. It'd take at least two tries." Ashley said with a small smirk.

Shepard stood up straight from where she'd be leaning against the wall. "I'm going to go see what's taking him."

She walked to the door, but stopped and turned to Wrex and Garrus. "And if you two end up killing each other, I'm tossing the survivor out of the airlock."

They turned to look at her, then started laughing. "You and what army?" they asked at once. Their expressions twisted as they realized they'd actually agreed on something.

"I'm going to get Bourne. I don't need an army." She said with a smirk as she walked out.

Tali just shook her head. I will never understand other species. Really, I'm lucky I can understand what Garrus says half of the time.

Wrex turned back to Garrus. "You think she's serious?"

Ashley laughed. "Probably. When the skipper says something, she means it." Tali noticed that Kaiden tensed at this.

"Well, we'd finally solve that argument about whether Wrex or Bourne would win in a fight." Tali said, trying to make a joke.

Pretty much everybody stared at her. But Wrex laughed at least, so I guess it sort of worked.

Ashley rubbed her neck uncomfortably.

"What makes you so sure Wrex would win against me?" Garrus muttered, but not loud enough for Wrex to hear. He could take anybody down but Shepard or Bourne. Though maybe Garrus could beat him.

Liara shook her head. "Somehow, despite how much time I spend with Raptor, I still don't understand other species at all."

Tali stared at her in confusion. "Who's Raptor?"

Liara's face turned purple in embarrassment.

"It's Shepard's first name. Though hardly anyone ever uses it." Kaiden said, glaring at Liara.

"Shepard's first name is Raptor? Isn't that an extinct lizard or something?" Wrex asked.

"Maybe we should start calling her Shepardsaurus." Garrus asked with a grin. Tali thought she understood that, but her lessons on Human history were fewer since they were newer to the Galaxy.

"You two aren't really in a position to talk." Ashley said with a small smirk.

"At least we don't look like overgrown Pyjaks." Wrex replied.

"Over grown…What?"

Tali put her head in her hands. I hope Bourne gets here soon.

"So what does she look like? A fish? "Kaiden said, still glaring at Liara. The asari turned to him in shock. Tali did the same. The Lt. was normally friendly, if not exactly open.

Even when Tali had gone with him and Shepard to rescue a political hostage while Bourne was recovering from the Cipher, he had never been as vicious in combat as the others. And Tali had never seen him lose his temper like this before.

"Is something wrong Lt. Alenko?" Liara asked nervously.

"Yes. But it can wait until it's less crowded in here."

"There's only 6 of us in here." Garrus said.

Kaiden turned to glare at him. "Not what I meant." He said, leaning forward in his chair.

The door slid open, and Tali fought back a sigh of relief as Bourne and Shepard walked back in.

Shepard opened the door to Bourne's room, forgetting to knock since it had been her room only a few days ago. She immediately regretted it as something came flying at her head. She ducked and it barely missed her.

"Geez Bourne, if you want privacy so bad, just lock the damn door."

He got off of the bed and walked over to the mirror. He looked at himself, also looking at her. "Sorry. I was meaning to hit the door. I just can't concentrate on the damn report."

Shepard looked behind her and saw that it was in fact a blank data pad.

He threw his arms up. "Screw it. If they complain about me not sending a report, I'll just say there was nothing to add to yours."

"Did you even read mine?" Shepard deadpanned.

He went on like he didn't hear her. "And if they complain then, they can take his complaints and shove it up his ass with that stick he keeps up it."

"You really don't like that Turian councilor, do you?"

"No shit Sherlock." Shepard had almost gotten used to some of his sayings. She'd ended up watching a vid on old media, and Bourne had ripped off almost every famous thing they had back then.

Shepard shook her head, and walked over to him. "What's really bugging you? You didn't even want to come fight Biotic extremists for god's sake. You pass up fights like a junky passes up a hit." And the more I think about it, the more sense that makes.

"Hah hah, I laughed so hard I forgot how to laugh." He said sarcastically.

"Was it the Cipher?"

He glanced at her. After a moment's consideration, he nodded. "I suppose that's part of it. It's just that…" he trailed off.

"What?"

"When I melded with her, I was keeping her out of my past with every last bit of will power I had. But some of hers slipped in." he laughed bitterly. "I have no memories of a family. I've never really thought about it, but my eyes were opened recently. A brief taste, then nothing." He sat down on his bed.

"Bourne, you aren't convincing me." He looked up in resignment, though he seemed tense, like a secret of his was discovered.

"What do you mean?" his voice was too even and controlled to be convincing.

"Well, for one thing, despite how much you joke about me and Liara, we have melded minds enough times for me too… Not like that you perv!" he had grinned when she mentioned melding. "It's completely different."

"So you've been doing it without the Embracing Eternity?" he teased.

"My point was, I know that you wouldn't have gotten that memory without wanting to. She didn't give you anything but the Cipher. Are you lying about the lack of family too?"

He glanced up at her. "Shepard…." He shook his head. "What did you come in here for?"

"I'm not going to just drop this. But since I don't think it's a good idea to keep Wrex waiting we should probably head up there."

Bourne got up and walked past her to the elevator. "Fine by me."

Bourne

Shepard followed me into the elevator, and I could see a determined look on her face. What the hell was I thinking? Even that small hint at my past was dangerous.

It took me a moment to realize that I was actually waiting for Iron to reply. He had been noticeably absent since I acquired the Cipher. My mind had started to accept it after a few days, but there was still a dull pain in the back of my mind. I didn't dare meld with Liara to sort it out though; despite Iron's claims about not wanting to be discovered, I trusted him as far as Tali could Biotically throw him.

And yet he saved my life. I forced back the thought. He had done it for his own selfish reasons, to make sure I could die by his hand. I had worried at first that he might have transferred himself to Shi'alla's mind somehow. But I had seen his eyes in the mirror.

I very much doubted I could rid myself of him that easily.

"Bourne, did you hear any of that?"

I realized with a start that Shepard had been talking to me this whole time. "Sorry, I was thinking."

"I said, I'm worried about you. You haven't been acting like yourself since the Cipher. I think we should have Liara take a look at you, maybe have her try to sort it out. She'd understand it better than anyone else I know."

I felt that alarm go off in my head again, and moved quickly to block it off. "She's your Girlfriend, not mine. You want to meld with her, go ahead. But you'd need to get me pretty drunk for me-"

"Can you be serious for five fucking minutes? You locked yourself in your cabin for two days; even Ashley hardly saw you. And your eyes are red as beats."

A cold hand gripped my gut at her last statement, then realized that she meant the whites, not the irises.

"If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were crying."

I laughed bitterly. "Shepard, when you think about it, how much do we really know each other?"

She stared at me a moment, puzzled, thinking it over. I knew that because that's how I had planned her. I knew a lot about her past, but I knew nothing about it.

"I guess you have a point. We've never really talked, apart from when we argued after what happened to Talitha." I tensed at that, knowing that she'd never forgive me. Hell, I'll never forgive me. "You really only know me from news reports, and I only know about your past from that fake report you wrote."

I gaped at her before I realized it. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" I hurriedly put my Poker face back in place, hoping against hope.

"If you don't want to talk about your past, I understand. Don't worry, I haven't told anyone else."

I could see that I hadn't convinced her. Still… "But how did you know?"

She smiled triumphantly. "I didn't know. You just told me." How in the hell did I actually fall for that?

My mind raced. The obvious question was too find out how much she suspected.

I was saved by the doors opening, and rushed out. I was gambling that she wouldn't say anything around the others. It was a risk though; if she said it anyway…. I'll be up a certain creek without a paddle. And I'll be in shit Ocean without a boat if she finds out the truth.

But fast as I went, Shepard was faster. She went up the other set of stairs and managed to loop around in front of me. Despite the situation, I was impressed. She was barely even breathing hard.

"Shepard, I'd tell you to get out of the way, but knowing you you'd ignore it."

"So you think you know me well after all?" she said, crossing her arms.

Maybe it was Iron, but I'd never really felt fear here: Rage, but not fear. But I had to focus to keep my Biotics under wraps, and my knees from shaking. I'd known it would be bad if I was discovered, but I'd never really thought about the consequences. Even if the universe let me, changing anything major could spell doom, and there was no doubt that if I was discovered things would change. They'd get my knowledge one way or another. And if the wrong people got their hands on it….

"Shepard, unless you want to deal with an angry Krogan, shouldn't we get in there?" I asked with a false smirk. The best I could do now was to try to cut it off.

"Wrex is more levelheaded than that. But what I want to know is why you never mention anything specific about your past. The most I've gotten out of you is that you have a lot of outdated sayings and you never stop cracking jokes." She lowered her arms. "I noticed that you never mentioned the name of the merc leader in your report. What was his name again?"

I wanted to facepalm. I'd been worried about being discovered, when all she really knows is that I'm not a former merc like I said. Panic was dangerous.

"Nigun" It is a good thing that I have that perfect memory.

"Was it? I wonder what Ash or Kaiden would say if I asked them?"

"They'd say exactly what I just said." I shrugged. "Well you know, if they didn't forget or something. They've probably had more important things on their minds."

Shepard looked at me. "Bourne, I trust you. That's why I wanted you as my second. But I know that you're no mercenary. You don't fight like one, you don't act like one, the only thing about you to even suggest it is your armor. What are you trying to hide?"

"Shepard, how much were you paying attention after you got the cipher?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Did you hear what I said I'd do to Shiala if she went rooting around in my head? There's a reason I never talk about my past. Don't start prying into it." I managed to brush past her. "I have enough blood on my hands without having to add yours."

She grabbed my arm. "Is it really worth killing someone over?"

"I don't know. But I don't want to find out." I shrugged her arm off and headed through the door.

I entered the com room with Shepard on my heels. Because of Shepard, I was extremely aware of suspicious glances, so I noticed Kaiden's glare at Liara immediately.

It was pretty obvious why. Hell hath no fury and all that. Granted Kaiden wasn't a chick, but same principle.

Shepard walked past me to the other side of the room, leaning against the far wall. I once again was against the wall, ready to bolt if I had to.

Liara could obviously read Shepard like a datapad, since she turned to me, sensing that Shepard was worried about something that involved me.

"Are you alright Lt. Bourne? You seem pale." Not surprising considering that little scare. "Are you suffering any ill effects from the Cipher?"

I shook my head. "Not nearly as much as before. Worse thing now is a little headache at the back of the skull."

"You know that I am an expert on the protheans? I've already managed to interpret what Shepard saw, but it's incomplete. You may have the missing half."

" I doubt it. The thing was damaged; that's probably the only reason it was broken up." That'd have been nice to know before now! My main plan had been to have Shepard go first, then pull my little trick to make her seem too weak. Of all the times to not have a backup plan!

"Is that why you didn't mention it? Because there was nothing new?"

"Isn't it at least worth a search?"

A plan sprung to mind. Wait a minute… for all intents and purposes, I have the other half of the vision, the one from the game. If I could isolate that and show it to her… No Virmire!

"Are you that eager to meld with someone other than Shepard?" Kaiden asked. He was never this scornful in game. Then again, he never had me snap his heart like a twig in the game.

"Hah! You're one to talk. I can smell your hormones from here. " Wrex rumbled.

"What? That's not… You're making that up."

Wrex's reply sent my theory crashing down. Oh. Right. The army of Krogan. It has to be blown up. And Shepard has to find out above sovereign. I sighed.

"Melding is not the same thing as joining, as many non asari don't seem to know." Liara put in.

"So Shepard must know the difference then?" I said. Everybody else in the room sent their eyes at Shepard. Her face was red, though I couldn't tell if it was anger or embarrassment.

"Bourne, you do know that I have a gun with me?" Shepard said through gritted teeth.

I smirked even more though, despite the threat. "Then you'd better get lucky with the first shot, cause you'd never get a second."

"Relax you two. We don't need any fights in here." Kaiden said, stepping between us.

"Oh? Then why were you staring daggers at Liara?" Even if I was going to kill him, Hypocrisy was just not cool.

"That's something different."

I snorted. "My ass. You're just pissed because you aren't Shepard's type."

"What?" Shepard's glare turned to shock. I face palmed. Way to follow your own advice. Tell Kaiden not to tell her, then do it yourself. So much for being able to hate hypocrisy.

Liara paled. "This is exactly what I'd hoped to avoid." I was dimly aware that she'd noticed at all, but I was more focused on the fact she'd completely forgotten about the melding. So had everybody else in the room by the look of it. "I may not know much about human relationships, but I do understand the concept of jealousy."

Kaiden turned to her. "I'm not jealous; not anymore. I'm confused. I thought we might have had something. I didn't realize you were a-"

"Alenko, if you want to keep yourself in one piece, I sincerely suggest you think carefully about what you're about to say." It would just be cruel to stand by and let him stand in the way of Shepard's punches. Though that would be the fastest way to resolve this.

"Well…" he hesitated, then said quietly, "You prefer other women."

Ashley was trying to hide a grin at the look on Shepard's face, but I could tell about the others. Kaiden had his back to me, and I wasn't great at reading alien expressions.

Tali was actually easiest to read; she was moving away from Shepard. And her eyes were wide as dinnerplates.

"I am not exactly a women Lt." it actually took me a sec to realize Liara wasn't talking to me. "My species only has one gender."

I laughed, and walked up behind them. I got them off my back, so maybe I should end this. By the time they even think about this again, I'll have a better plan. "I don't know why you two try to deny that so much. Like I told Shepard, you have lipstick, heels, and everything in betwee-oww!" I rubbed my arm where Shepard had slugged me. That's what I get for trying to be noble.

"Bourne, don't make me hurt you."

"Too late" I muttered.

Shepard turned back to Kaiden. "As annoying as he is," I chuckled at that, "He's right. I like you, but not in that way. Liara's the one I really care about."

"So you admit that you're dating a chick?" Shepard glared at me, and clenched her fists at her side.

"No response is a response; I'm thinking that's a 'yes'."

"It's a 'shut up before I punch you again'. I'm sorry you got hurt Kaiden, but we aren't meant to be."

"I understand commander. I hope things work out between you two. I've got some mission reports to file, that kind of thing? You know how it is."

Is that what that terminal is for? Huh, makes sense. "To be fair Kaiden, if you'd just listened to my advice, this wouldn't have happened." I regretted the words as soon as I said them.

He wheeled on me, his hidden emotions bubbling to the surface. Oh? And how would you know? You've never had anybody to care about."

"What's Ashley, chopped liver?" Everybody stared at me. I facepalmed again. "Of all the old expressions I could have said, why did I have to say that?" I groaned. "My point is, I care about Ashley."

"Way to announce it to everyone Jason." Ashley put in. She was still smiling though, so maybe she wasn't holding that comment about calling her meat against me.

"Yeah, love you too." I said with a grin.

" Love? How can you really know about love?" Kaiden said exasperatedly

" Unless you were getting lucky with asari in the merc gang?" Ashley said. it didn't take a genius to tell
she'd be pissed if that would have been the case.

I chuckled. "I don't think so. 'embrace eternity' doesn't do as much for me as it does for Shepard."

"You were trained from birth, and given the most advanced implants possible. I was exposed to eezo in the womb. I was taken from my house and shipped off to jump zero without even being asked what I thought about it. I was fitted with implants that killed others, and left me with Migranes that leave me out of commission for hours. I was beaten by the teacher until I killed him by accident. You don't have the right to judge me, Lt."

My merriment faded. "Don't have the right to judge you?" I asked quietly. My emotions were swirling like socks in the wash.

"No. You don't. Sir." He added the last part hastily. He was clearly aware he'd touched a nerve, even if he couldn't know why.

"So you think you have the right to judge me?" I continued in the same tone.

"No sir." He looked like he was about ready to run.

"Good. Because you don't either. I've had to fight tooth and claw for survival ever since I was created. A part of me always wants to kill, and I have to fight it back. I was made for only one purpose. I'm a weapon." I became aware of the other's stares as well.

Still, my tongue moved of its own accord. "I could snap you in half before you even blinked. I could do that to anybody in this room."

"Jason?" Ashley's tone held worry. I wanted to break my words off, end this, but I couldn't. My eyes were fixed on Kaiden.

"The only thing keeping me from killing you is my better half. And I don't mean Ashley." My fist raised in front of me, though I didn't move it.

My Biotics were activated. And they were red. I had no control over myself.

It wasn't me talking.

"I can still hurt you though" Iron said.

I screamed, but no sound came. I had no control. Iron would tear them apart.

I threw my mind against his. )If you think I'm giving up without a fight, you've got another thing coming.(

(Dear dear Bourne, you truly think you can attack yourself? That Cipher fused us together even further. And it left me in control.)

If I was still in charge of my face, it would be drained of blood. He had wanted me to get the cipher to further his plans. He had kept me from suspecting him by suggesting I not get it.

(This battle is already won. Fortunately, the battle against them isn't) "I'm going to enjoy this!"

And now you probably all hate me for ending it right then. Look on the bright side: The holidays are fast approaching, so I'll have plenty of free time to write more. Or I might spend it all finally playing skyrim.

I'm kidding. I want to see what happens next just as much as you do. Writing these parts not from the game is always more fun. I have most of it planned out, but I get to nail out the details as I go.

I hope you enjoyed this two day late chapter of "Stuck in a World of Fiction."

Sayonara.