BELLA AND JACOB

CHAPTER 36

BELLA P.O.V

BELLA IS 19 WEEKS PREGNANT

I got a call from Phil today saying that my mom was sick. That she had been in the hospital for a few days and that we should probably come down and see here so me and Jake packed up the family and we were headed down there right now.

"I hope she's okay." I said as Jake rubbed my back. It was hard when someone you loved became sick. It was so very hard but I knew I needed to be there for her and I needed to be strong for my kids. I was just about to be twenty weeks pregnant and I was praying that my mother would be there for the birth of most likely my last child.

"She will be fine." I wasn't so sure if she was though.

*FEW HOURS LATER*

Her health declined since a few hours ago, her lungs were giving out and her heart was bumping way too fast.

"We aren't exactly sure what's wrong. We are just trying to make her comfortable right now." The doctors had said. I had taken Savannah with me to come a visit her but I had Ryder at home with the twins. We were staying in my mom's house but I was sure that we would be needing to stay in a hotel room soon.

Me, Jake, Vannah, And Phil were all sitting in the hospital room just praying that everything would work out. We were in the hospital for hours not knowing when we would be leaving it.

Around two o'clock in the morning, me and Savannah watched as my mother and her grandmother, took her last breathe before leaving the world. It was hard watching my daughter sob over my mother and it was even harder trying not to cry myself. I had called Jake who came right over to the hospital and Savannah left the room to call Seth.

"It's okay. She's not in any pain anymore." Jake said to me as he was crying himself. My mother was the closest thing he ever had a mom because his mom died when he was very young.

"She was so young." I was even more upset that she wouldn't be able to meet her fifth grandchild. She didn't even know his name.

"I'm sorry." He whispered wiping his tears before wiping mine. The nurses let us say goodbye before they covered her in a sheet. This was it. This was what I had to look forward too in life because I was so busy worrying about myself growing up, I forgot that my parents were getting older too.

*SAVANNAH P.O.V*

I was sobbing before Seth even answered the phone.

"Savannah?" He asked and I just sobbed. He didn't say a word but I could hear him fumbling around.

"She's gone." I choked out.

"I'll be down there as quickly as I can." He said.

"Please hurry." I whispered into the phone. Once my parents were ready we headed back to the house to tell Ryder. I didn't want to be there when they told him so I climbed into bed with Peyton.

"Why are you crying?" She rolled over and asked me.

"Because I'm sad." I said and she came closer to me.

"Why are you sad?" She asked.

"You know how mommy's mommy was in the hospital? And that she was very sick?" I choked out. She nodded head as she looked at me and I saw tears fill her eyes and it broke my heart seeing her sad. "She passed away. She went to heaven a little while ago."

"What's heaven?" She asked.

"It's where good people go when they die." I answered and she wiped some tears away from my eyes.

"Where do the bad people go?" She asked.

"That doesn't matter. You're going to be an amazing person." I said. I wasn't even sure if anything I was saying to her was making sense. I wasn't sure when but I fell asleep. I felt the bed move early the next morning and I knew Peyton had left. When I woke up the next morning, Seth was standing in the kitchen with my dad and Phil. I ran to Seth and hugged him.

"It's okay." He whispered as he held my head to his chest. I felt my dad's hands on my back before he left the room with Phil.

"Have you slept?" I asked him and he shook his head. "Let's go upstairs then." I said leading him up the stairs and we went to lay where I was earlier.

"Vannah?" He asked when he closed the door.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry." He said I started to cry all over again.

"It's okay." I said as I laid down in bed.

"When's the funeral and wake?" He asked.

"A few days. We are flying back to Forks and having the funeral there." I answered. I didn't have any cousins so there wouldn't be many people at the wake and funeral. The only reason so many people would show up would be for my dad. "I'm glad you came." I said.

"You needed me. I was gonna be there." I smiled at him before kissing him.

"You can sleep."

"No. I'm not tired." He said yawning.

"You're a liar." I said just before he fell asleep. I left him there to go and find my mom.

"Hey, you doing okay?" She asked me and I nodded before I laid down in her bed with her. "We will be heading home tomorrow. The Cullen's offered to have the funeral at their house so we are more comfortable." She said and I nodded.

"it's weird like, I woke up this morning hoping we would be getting a huge breakfast and instead I woke up to Seth and Dad crying." I said. It was the hardest thing in the world watching people go through this and my two younger siblings have no idea what's going on and I wish I could explain it to them. I wish there wasn't pain.

*FUNERAL*

Yesterday was the wake and it went on for hours and hours and the worst thing about the wake wasn't having to say goodbye, it was people who I didn't even knew showed up and told me they were sorry. I couldn't tell what they were more sorry about, that they had no idea who I was, that they weren't there for my grandmother whether she was sick or wasn't or the fact that they didn't actually want to be here.

"You doing okay?" Edward asked and I shrugged. He played a beautiful song in her memory.

"It's just, I hate this."

"Yeah. I know." He said as he sat next to me. "I know what it's like." He said. His biological parents have been gone for nearly 150 years.

"Will it ever get easier?" I asked him.

"Of course it will. Of course some days will be harder than other's and sometimes you will want to scream to the world and just cry and know that it is perfectly okay to cry and scream. But there are also going to be those days where you are so content and you remember the good days. Savannah, you cannot hold your feelings in. You have to let them out." I began to cry as he rubbed my back and he pulled me closer to him and rested his chin on my head.

"I just don't want to watch my mom go through that pain." I would be okay, I knew I would be but my mother, my mother was having a hard time and I just wanted to help her.

*BELLA P.O.V*

Thank god for Esme because she was the second best thing to a mother and she made this whole thing so much easier on me and my kids.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked when she came into the kitchen where I was standing.

"I just, thank you for everything. For being there when I needed a mom. Helping me through these pregnancies and helping with my kids. I cannot thank you enough."

"Bella, I love you and those kids more than my life. I'm going to be there for as long as you need." She said hugging me and I hugged her back. "It's going to be hard but I'm here. We are all here." She said and I thanked her again. I had a very small family growing up and I was so thankful that my kids got to grow up around a lot of kids but also a lot of adults who can guide them. Everyone is going to lose people as you grow up if it's a break-up or a divorce or death but you have to accept it and let it fill you.

Don't hold the emotions back because when you explode, you explode. I did that to Jake so many times and then he would get confused when I would bring up old stuff that I told him I didn't care about. I watched my daughter do the exact same thing and when she would get cranky, every single thing that bothered her for the past month came boiling out and she would explode.

I know it's hard. I know that life is hard and sometimes you just want to make it end but you have to fight. It may not get better but someday, you're going to be thirty with three kids maybe more maybe less and you are going to be so proud of everything you have done and you are going to love your life. People are going to leave and it's going to rip your soul out of you and you're going to want to die. More people will come into your life, people who will stay.

People will die and it's going to feel like someone shot you in the chest but you cannot stop it and you cannot slow it down. It's not your fault no matter how that person dies.

Be there for people. If there is one thing I have learnt in all of my years it's that you need to be there for people. That is all a relationship is. Being there. They may have no idea what you're feeling but if someone is there for you and has seen you cry, hold onto them, they will be there for life. The people who are there for you are the ones that matter.