Fire is catching

Chapter 36

Authors Note: Yap, I'm still alive! I know I've been away for too long, but I was busy and I went through a very long writer's block. I just had absolutely no motivation to write and I didn't know what to do with this story, but I found new inspiration and I promise that I will definitely end this fanfiction!

So here you go, an extra-long chapter just for you guys, enjoy!

As the sun starts going down, painting the sky in beautiful gold, red and pink colors, I get more and more nervous. I don't want it to get dark because this means that I'll have to go, that I'll have no more excuse to stay.

As the evening passes, Natsu tells me random stories of his time in district 12 and normally, I'd really enjoy them and then it would be my turn to share an anecdote and we would go on talking like this for hours without anyone of us noticing how fast the time went by, but not today. Today is different. It's the last time we'll be sitting around a fire like this, even if he doesn't know that yet. I should treasure this moment, enjoy it to the fullest and yet, I don't. I just can't focus on his storytelling and no matter how hard I try to listen, I simply keep drifting off into the world of my worried mind. Is it really necessary for me to leave? Isn't it in fact much safer to stay here, in the hidden valley? No, I went through this already, I need to leave before I become too much of a burden. But then again…

This inner conflict keeps repeating itself over and over again as I go over the different arguments. In the end I always draw the same conclusion: I need to go. And still, I just don't want to accept that, so I start arguing with myself again.

"I'm really tired, I think I'll go to sleep…" says Natsu while yawning. This is the moment I dreaded. But I guess it can't be avoided anymore.

"Yeah, sure" I respond, my voice cracking but I try to hide it with a fake smile.

"Lucy, are you okay? You've been acting weird all evening…"

Oh shit, so it was that obvious? I really tried to hide my discomfort but I guess I'm not good at concealing my emotions after all.

"Well, uh…" I stutter without making any sense

"You're still thinking about Wendy, right? And that disgusting carreer…"

I bite my lip as I realize that I haven't actually thought about Wendy for quite a while now. I was so focused on my own problems, absorbed in self-pity that I didn't think about the young girl that died in order for me to live, just how selfish can a person be? The guilt starts nagging at me as I remember how I promised to never forget her, I'm truly a horrible person.

This confirms it. Wendy was my ally, my friend, and now she's dead and it's my fault. I can't allow this to happen ever again, so I have to leave before I ruin everything once again. Even though I'm still scared and unhappy about my decision to leave, I've never been more determined.

"Hey, it's okay. You can't change the past, so it's no use to feel guilty. I assure you that as long as I'm around, I won't allow anyone to hurt you or anyone you care about, okay?"

I nod slightly as I try to fight back the upcoming tears. Why is he making this so difficult? Why does it have to be this hard?

"Let's just sleep for now, we don't know what awaits us tomorrow, I have a feeling that something big is about to happen. It's been too quiet for too long…"

Again, not helping Natsu. But I stay quiet and slip under the blanket.

It doesn't take long for him to fall asleep.

As I hear his breath getting slow and steady I remain where I am for a couple of minutes telling myself that it's still too risky to get up but I know all too well that I just don't want to leave.

But I guess procrastinating won't help either so after some awfully long minutes that stretch like the pastel pink capitol bubblegum, I crawl out of my sleeping bag, get up and start looking for the small care package I prepared and hid between the mountain rocks earlier.

I won't take a lot of stuff with me since it's not mine, I lost my backpack. Still I think it would be stupid, if not suicidal, to leave without anything at all. That's why I took a small bag I found and put some food, a rope, a blanket, a small knife and an empty bottle of water to refill in it. I feel really guilty about taking, no, it's actually stealing, those items but I hope that Natsu will forgive me.

I swing the bag over my shoulder, already feeling the rough material cutting into my flesh. It is the middle of the night which means that it is freezing cold in the arena. Besides the incredible material Gerard created for my outfit, I am shivering all over, I can't imagine how it would be if I was wearing normal clothes. I tip toe over to where Natsu lies on the ground completely motionless. It is a quiet night, no screams, no animals crawling through the undergrowth, not even the sound of the wind caressing the grass. Only Natsu's steady breath and quiet snoring that makes me chuckle. His face is completely relaxed and a few pink strands of hair have fallen over his forehead. He just looks so peaceful, like a completely normal young boy, not someone desperately trying to fight for their survival.

I lean down and place a small kiss as light as a butterflies' touch onto his cheek before I take off. I don't know why I did it because he didn't even notice it anyway, but it just felt like the right thing to do. A kiss meaning both "Thank you" and "Goodbye."

At first I walk towards the mountain chain in a slow trot but after a short time I start accelerating until I'm running at full speed. Again there's no need to do so, but something is pushing me forward, wanting me to go faster and faster. Probably because that something knows too well that I'll change my mind and decide to stay if I don't get out of here quickly.

By the time I reach the crack between the wall I'm out of breath and I can hear my heartbeat pounding in my head. My hands slide over the cold stone wall as I slowly squeeze myself into the narrow passage way. The netx five minutes turn out to be very stressful and scary.

Due to the complete darkness I can't even see my own hands which means that I have to feel my way while being surrounded by endlessly high stone walls. If I fell and got injured right now I would be totally screwed, but let's just not think about that.

After some totally uncomfortable minutes that felt like hours I step out of the wall and gasp for fresh, cold night air. I rest my arms on my legs for a while, catching my breath and trying to clear my head.

I'm alone again, left on my own. The comfortable days in safety are over, I'll have to be careful and fight for my own survival only relying on myself again.

But what am I going to do? I don't even know how many of the other tributes are still alive, but it can't be that many of them right?

I consider the option of looking for a personal head quarter, something like the cage I shared with Wendy or the valley Natsu introduced me to but I figure that I'll be moving around all the time anyway, now that I'm alone so having a central camp wouldn't make sense. Besides, even if I had one, I wouldn't have anything to store in there anyway so why bother. I won't have to worry about finding a place to sleep for now since I'm definitely not going to be able to get any sleep tonight so that's another problem less.

I guess I'll just wander through the forest for a while, letting my legs carry me. I keep moving because that'll keep me from thinking too much, it'll stop me from admitting how utterly scared and insecure I am. I feel like those few days with Natsu made me forget what this game is actually about, killing others in order to survive and even though I am very grateful for the peaceful break it's important that I get back into reality even though it's horrifying.

By the time the sun rises I find myself deep in the woods of the arena, without any sense of orientation. My feet hurt from walking around for hours and even though the adrenaline that is pumping though my veins is making me awake and alert I can feel the tiredness of my body. I sit down, leaning on the trunk of a gigantic tree and take a moment to breathe. I feel strangely disconnected from my body, as if I'm not me, but a spectator watching from above. A young blonde girl running around in a forest trying to stay alive. The whole games seem so ridiculous and surreal if you look at them from a distant perspective, but for me, for Lucy Heartfilia, they're a bitter reality. If only I could escape this nightmare…

My head snaps up as I open my eyes. Where am I? What happened? It takes a few seconds before all the thoughts that are racing through my head are sorted out and start making sense. I took off in the middle of the night and left the valley behind, I ran through the woods and sat down under a tree, I must've fallen asleep.

Fallen asleep?! In broad daylight? On the ground in the middle of the forest where literally everyone can see me?! Hot rage flares up inside of me, anger that is directed to myself. How could I be that stupid? Is that how I value the life Wendy gave me? I thought that I would at least know the basics of survival by now but apparently I'm just as stupid as I was before.

My fingers slip into the pocket of my skirt, feeling the cold metal of my keys against my skin, an automatic process I make whenever I look for comfort.

Okay, I made a mistake, I can't allow it to happen ever again but I can't undo it so I might as well push forward. But just what am I going to do now? I already stocked up on water fruit in the night and it's not like there's anything specific going on.

Oh great Lucy, you can't even spend a single day on your own, you're completely depending on others, right?

"No!" I yell at the voice inside my head. I can do this, I don't need anyone else beside me. I am the one that needs to survive and I can do this best when I work alone. If I team up with anyone, I'll only get lazy and let down my guard and I'll…, I'll only get my partner killed because of my own stupidity. It's for the best if I'm only responsible for my own life, because that means that I can only mess this one up, not anybody else's.

Maybe I should start by setting a few traps in order to get myself something to eat. So I head out and start tying branches together in order to reconstruct the traps that Levy taught me such a long time ago.

As I squat on the ground fiddling with a branch I hear a distant voice. Even though it's just a short whisper, four words said somewhere far way they're enough to send a shiver down my spine and ice water through my veins.

Gajeel.

My head starts spinning and a few black dots appear in front of my eyes, that's the power this name has over me. My breath is at a pace that's way too fast and I can feel the panic crawling down my neck, spreading inside of my stomach.

"I caught her scent" is what he said and something tells me that "her" is me. He's going to hunt me down, continue where he was interrupted and torture me to death.

He is coming for me.

Judging by the footsteps I hear he's moving alone and at an extremely fast pace, he'll be here in no time. And if what he says is true running won't help because he'll find me using my smell anyway. So what can I do? I can't fight him, he's so much stronger than me. Shall I just sit here and wait for death?

It feels as if my head is going to explode any minute as I run through all the possibilities. There's only one way I have a slight chance of surviving this, I'll have to use the momentum of surprise. He thinks he's the hunter and I'm the prey, but what if I turn this around? I'll have one shot, if I miss it's over but it's the best solution I can think of.

I stumble into the undergrowth of the surrounding trees and squat on the ground. The leaves will protect me from being seen whereas my own vision is perfectly clear. I can see the opposite side of the clearing, the side where I expect Gajeel to burst out of the bushes any moment now. My hands wrap around the small knife as I try to calm down, I need to control my breathing and focus. Once I see him coming out of the forest I only have a few seconds to strike. I need to throw the knife and hit him, that's my only chance. I've never been good at knife throwing, not even with a target that is standing completely still, that's made out of paper and does not want to kill me, but I don't have a chance now. I have to hit the target, there's just no other way.

I can feel my hand shaking and bite my lip in frustration as I try to pull myself together. Come on Lucy, you can do this!

And there it is, the sound of someone walking through the thick net of leaves, roots and branches, a flickering shadow on the opposite side of the clearing and it's moving fast, running, I don't have time to think, I have to aim, hold still, breathe and throw the knife at the right moment.

3…

2…

1…

Now.

I send the small knife flying before I can even see him properly, aiming it at where I'm anticipating him to be once he's stepped out of the bushes.

I see a body crumpling to the floor and for one small moment I am filled with triumph, I did it!

Bolting out of my hidden place I run towards where the body is lying and start screaming. Instead of Gajeel I find someone really unexpected on the floor.

Levy.

Her blue hair is a tangled mess and her clothes are partly ripped, it looks as if she's had her fair share of trouble. Dirt and scratches are covering her pale skin and hot tears are running down her cheek as she clenches her teeth in pain. That's when I notice the knife that is stuck in her leg. The wound is so deep that you can only see the handle of the knife and the area around it is soaked in thick red blood.

No,no,no this can't be true. This is the knife I threw, I did this to her. I threw a knife at Levy.

But I didn't mean to! This wasn't meant for her! I would've never ever done this to her!

"Lucy?" she asks through gritted teeth, her voice not more than a soft hiss.

"Levy…I…oh my god..I am so sorry, I didn't mean to…I didn't want to…the knife…I thought you were…Gajeel…I was so scared…oh my god…what am I going to do…I threw a knife at you…oh my god, oh my god…" I mumble while I start hyperventilating.

I fall to the ground beside her and put her head on my lap while monotonously caressing her hair.

"Levy..you gotta believe me. I was 100% sure that you were Gajeel, the boy from district 2 you know? I thought I heard his voice and I panicked. He's the one that killed Wendy and he tried to kill me too, I was so scared, I didn't look properly, I mistook you for him. Oh god, what have I done?" I whine as the tears start to dwell up.

"The bleeding…" she murmured "You have to stop the bleeding. Do you have bandages or a piece of cloth?" I am amazed by how steady and neutral her voice is.

"Yeah..uhm…wait a second" I stutter, completely helpless. I tear off a piece of my top. "Here"

"Now you have to tie it around my leg as tightly as you can okay?" I do as I am told while Levy lies down and small suppressed whimpers escape her mouth.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I say repeatedly, more like a mantra than an apology.

"Lucy" she whispers and then after clearing her throat a little louder: "Lucy, you have to listen to me."

"What?" I say, caught up in my thoughts, probably looking a little lost and overstrained with my messy hair and my hands that are soaked in her blood.

"Gajeel, he's here, he was coming after me." Levy starts coughing and to my horror I notice that small clumps of blood are coming out of her mouth. "I've been stealing the careers supplies for several days now. I was always very careful and took just enough to get by, so that they wouldn't notice and it went so well until today. He must've noticed. I saw him leave together with Erza and Mirajane so I went in but he returned after a very short time, alone, which I really wouldn't have expected. He startled me, I managed to run away, but he can't be far away. He has an unusually good nose, I think that he caught my smell so it won't take him long to find me." As she continues talking the coughing gets worse and worse until she can't continue.

"Shhht, shht Levy" I say soothingly "Don't worry, I'll get you out of here. I don't know how, but your leg will be okay. Wendy showed me a few healing plants, I don't exactly know where they grow, but I will find them. I'll heal you and then you can leave and you'll never have to see me again. I understand that you hate me now, I mean I literally threw a knife at you, but please let me help you and fix your leg and then you can me hate me, stab me, kill me all you want but please just let me help me."

Her jaw tightens: "You just don't get it, do you?"

"What? But I just want to help…"

"You can't help me! Didn't you listen to me? Gajeel is chasing me and he'll be here very soon. You have to get out of here!"

"But…"

"No but! Even if it's me he's looking for, he will kill you if you're here with me. Especially if he already tried to kill you. Leave, now."

"But I can't leave you behind!" I say tears running down my cheek.

"You have to. Look at me Lucy, I have a knife inside of my leg, I can't walk on my own. And carrying me will slow you down, he'll find us and kill us both. And even if you manage to temporarily hide me, he caught my scent, he will hunt me down, but you, you still have the opportunity to get away. Just look at this wound Lucy, that's nothing you can heal with a few plants, that's a serious wound. With the medical treatment I can get in here, it won't heal properly. I'm not going to be able to walk, which means death in the hunger games. I can't be saved, but you still can. Leave me and run."

"Don't say that Levy. He'll kill you if he finds you. And it's my fault that you can't run, I threw that freaking knife at you! How can you tell me to leave you behind if it's my fault?!" I say, my words almost getting swallowed by sobs-

Levy grabs my shoulders and shakes me, forcing me to look at her. Her face has a very serious and determined expression on it. "Lucy, look at me. Do I look angry to you? I don't blame you for what happened. You were trying to defend yourself, it was bad luck. I hate to admit it, but luck is a factor that you always have to include into your calculations, sometimes bad things just happen. Heck, I would've done the exact same as you, so don't blame yourself for anything that happened. It happened, but now you have to move forward. You still have a chance, a future and I don't. It's hard to accept, but those are the facts. I already went through all the possibilities Lucy and this is the only one where at least one of us survives, so please just don't waste any more time and go."

By now my body is being shaken by the violent sobs but I don't really care how pathetic I look right now, I just let it out. If there's one thing that I mastered to perfection it's crying my eyes out.

"But Levy…I don't want you to die…."

She cups my cheek with her soft hand and wipes away my tears: "I knew right from the start that I would die in those games sooner or later, I'm not the victor type, so it's okay Lucy. If I can accept it, you should too."

"How can you be so brave?" I sob, startled by the fact that she is the one reassuring me even though she is also the one dying.

"Oh, I'm just convinced that this is not the only life I'm going to live, the next one is already waiting for me."

"What do you mean?"

"I strongly believe in some kind of afterlife. I don't think that everything's over after we die, something happens after that, we somehow live on. I don't know what that kind of life it is, if we're reborn onto this planet or if something completely different happens to us, but I know that the end of this life is just the beginning of a new one, that makes it less scary for me."

"But it'll never be the same! I'll never be able to see you again!" I scream, desperate and incredulous at how calm she is.

"Who knows? Maybe we'll see us in one of our future lives? Maybe we've already met before?"

My eyes widen in surprise.

She takes hold of both my hands: "Yeah, don't you have that strange feeling sometimes? That you've met a certain person before, that you already know them? It's so weird but…" She sighs "I actually didn't want to tell anyone about this because it sounds so crazy but now I might as well just spill the beans, I've had this feeling with so many of this year's tributes. I don't know why but I just feel like I know almost all of them from somewhere. And don't you think it's odd that Wendy, Lisanna and especially you and me got along so well even though we've never met before and despite the fact that we would have to fight each other in next to no time? I mean we became something I would call friends in just a few days, that's not normal under the circumstances we were in. It made all of this so much harder, because I became emotionally attached to you guys. And Mirajane…, heck even Erza and Gajeel, I feel like I know them, another version of them and I think that under different conditions they could be genuinely good people. We are all connected Lucy! Maybe we've met in an earlier life, maybe it's just my imagination and I'm going crazy, who knows? But if it's really true, who can tell whether we'll meet in an upcoming life? Maybe one day we'll be best friends sitting around the table of our favorite bar chatting about books. Maybe we'll live in a world without the games, without the capitol, a free world. Everything's possible right?"

Her words make my head spin at a dangerous pace. The weird feeling of familiarity, she's had it too? The way Levy and I immediately bonded, my sisterly love for Wendy and the indescribable connection I share with Natsu, they're not just my imagination, a crazy prank my brain pulled on me? Could it really be…?

"But how could I leave my past or future best friend here to die?" I sob feeling confused, sad, terrified and angry at the same time.

"Because you're not. You're just letting me go ahead, I'll wait for you in my next life and then we'll see each other again, okay?"

"Okay" I mumble as I hug her tight.

"Hey Lucy? What's your favorite book?"

"Fairy Tales" I answer without thinking about it, my lips automatically form the words "What about yours?"

"You'll have to wait until we see each other next time Lucy" she says with a faint smile on her lips as she pulls something out of her pocket. As she opens her hand I spot a few small berries that look a lot like blueberries.

"What are those?"

"Nightlock, they're poisonous. A single one is enough to instantly kill you."

"Levy" I sob fear rushing through me.

"Do you really think that I'll let that asshole kill me? No way, I will die on my own terms. Now go Lucy, I've held you back for way too long."

I hug her one last time before I take off: "Goodbye Levy"

"Not goodbye. See you soon, Lu-chan" she says with a warm, genuine smile on her face. This is how I want to remember her: smiling, cheerful, optimistic, happy.

As soon as I enter the woods I hear the loud boom of her canon.

Author's Note: Oh well, that escalated quickly XD I hope that you liked this chapter, see you soon :)

*after shooting Levy's death scene*

Author: Okay guys, that's a wrap on Levy!

Lucy: Levy-chan, I never would've done this to you, I'm so sorry *cries*

Levy: Lucy…, it's okay, it's not real. We're just actors, okay?

Lucy: But I hate this part *cries* I can't see you die even if it's just an act *hugs Levy*

Levy: Awww, you're so cute. But...you're hugging me too tight….I can't breathe….*gasps for air*

Natsu: Oh come on Lucy, don't be such a crybaby.

Lucy: Shut your mouth you idiot! *Lucy kick*

Author: Guys please…not again. Ah Levy, thank you for the good work and I hope that we'll be able to work together again someday. Here's your paycheck.

Natsu: *peeks* WHAT?! That's the same amount of money I get, and she's not one of the main characters!"

Author: Yeah but I subtracted all the costs from the damage you make from your payment so you're not even going to get paid. In fact, you owe me 100 bucks.

Natsu: WHAT?! NO FAIR! *cries*

Lucy: Come on Natsu, don't be such a crybaby *muahahaha* *highfives Author*