Some notes about this chapter.

1. I am not a lawyer - I like to write. I don't want to research the justice system - so this is my take on it - I'm sure I messed some things up - but I really wanted to get it written.

2. I am sorry for those who want Emily and Richard to reconcile with Lorelai right away - its gonna take some time/if it happens :)

3. Thanks so much for the reviews - and just to the guest who commented so sweetly on chapter 34 - thanks for you kind words - these words here in this story are very near and dear to my heart - because recovery doesn't come easy. So why do our stories somehow make it seem like it does.

4. Please review - this one was different to write - writing a scene where people are angry and emotions are so up in the air - this was tough - please let me know how i did :)

She couldn't get out of the truck.

"I'm right here, Lorelai." Luke assured her.

They were in the driveway of the lawyer's office.

But she could see her father's car. She knew he was going to be here.

And she couldn't see him. She just couldn't.

"Lorelai, just look at me."

This was their new thing. Their new way of coping together. It helped bring her out of her mind – her mind that seemed to control everything about her.

She met his eyes. His eyes that held such confidence and strength – all of the things that she was lacking. She took a deep breath.

"I'm going in there with you. We just have to get the information about the trial." He reassured her; his voice was calm. "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to right now."

She just nodded, truning away from him to open the door. She stepped out, and let him lead her into the office – he talked to the receptionist, and the lawyer wanted to see them right away.

They walked into the room, the completely legal office – furniture everywhere, all in some tone of brown – a fake plant in the corner – just the typical type of office you would suspect from a professional lawyer's office.

She took a deep breath. She could see her father sitting there. He turned around.

And she looked down. She couldn't bear to see the disappointment and hatred she had seen before from him. She just looked at Luke, who led her to a chair opposite of her father, right in front of the lawyer, who offered his hand to shake. And she just smiled at him, but didn't shake his hand. No extra physical touch. He motioned for her to sit.

"Thanks so much Mrs. Hayden…"

She inhaled deeply, then immediately said, "Gilmore."

The lawyer looked confused.

"I kept my maiden name."

Nodding his head, he apologized and pulled out a file that looked to be rather large. And he started talking.

"I am here to answer any questions you have about the trial." He said. She reached for Luke's hand, wrapping her thin fingers through his muscular fingers. She felt secure there.

"The date for the pretrial is scheduled for two weeks from now. That will determine what he is going to plead – whether he will plead guilty or not guilty."

She heard her father's voice – and jumped a bit. Luke just squeezed her hand trying to comfort her. "What do you think he will do? I mean, we all know we have evidence…"

The evidence was her. She just kept thinking about how Luke was holding her hand.

"Well." The lawyer answered, "Well, if he pleads guilty, he is spared the trial and then we go to plea agreements. If he pleads not guilty, the case will go to trial, where he will be tried in front of a jury."

Luke's voice echoed around the room. "So the only way that she will have to testify is if he pleads not guilty?"

She couldn't think about that yet – she couldn't think of getting up in front of people – in front of – him – and putting her memories into words.

The lawyer spoke. "That would be the only time she would have to get up and publically give her testimony. With a plea bargain, she and I would meet with him and his lawyer and a judge and she would have to give her testimony in that context."

None of those options sounded like something she wanted to do. She spoke. "So no matter what, I will have to…" She could barely get it out. "I will have to talk about it with him there?"

The lawyer nodded. "Unfortunately, because the nature of the accusation – that it wasn't just a one time occurrence – he is being charged on multiple levels – rape…" She looked down at her hands, pulled her hand away from Luke, and started fiddling with her fingers. "… coersive captivation, and assault." He paused, and she knew that she looked like a completely lunatic. She now crossed her arms in front of her, looked down at her lap, and just tried to keep from crying and letting the memories overtake her. "Because of this, we can't use the protection of the victim to keep you secluded from everything in the trial."

I have to see him again. Her mind started screaming. She felt Luke's hand on her back. But she wasn't comforted.

And her father's voice again echoed, "What is he looking like if we win the trial?"

She wanted to laugh. Win? What part of this was considered winning? There was nothing about this that felt like a game – a gamble – this just felt like hell was surrounding her.

"Maximum penalty, he will get life in prison." He said. Then he looked at Lorelai, who was waiting for this – what would happen? "Minimum, he would get 5 years in prison with a chance of parole for good behavior."

Five years? Lorelai thought. No. Only five years? After everything?

She heard her father's voice again. "Well we just have to make sure we have enough to send him away for life."

Her mind was swimming with the thought that in five years he could be out on the streets. He could be out there hurting people.

And she didn't think before she said. "Well there's a change of heart, Dad." The room suddenly quieted down. She felt Luke tense next to her, and the lawyer cleared his throat. But she continued, still refusing to look at him, but she finished, "The man who didn't even want him to spend a few hours in jail now wants him away for life." Her words were icy and cold. No anger. Just. Chilling.

"Lorelai…"

She couldn't sit here with him anymore. She looked at Luke, and said, "Im going to wait in the truck." She grabbed her purse from the floor and stood up, turning her back to the man she used to think of as her father.

She heard him stand up to follow her out. She just told Luke, "Don't let him near me." And she walked out.

She walked to the truck, pulling her coat closer to her body to keep her warm. She wasn't sure if she was cold because of the temperature outside, or because of how absolutely uncomfortable she was. She climbed into the cab of the truck, closed the door, and locked both doors.

And she curled up on the seat of the cab.

He called me horrible names. She thought. How can he just act like nothing happened? She didn't cry. She didn't start to shake. She didn't start to meltdown at all. She just comforted herself.

She didn't know how long it was until Luke came out and unlocked the driver's side door, and she sat up. She could see concern on his face, but he also showed surprise that she wasn't completely going insane after being in the same room with her father.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked her.

She just shrugged as he pulled out onto the highway on the way back to Stars Hollow. "I just couldn't be in there with him."

Luke nodded.

"What was he doing there anyway? What part of this involves him? This is my fight against Chris, right?" She shuddered as his name rolled off of her tongue.

"He hired the lawyer."

She rolled her eyes. "What?"

Luke was focused on driving. So she didn't have to worry about making eye contact with him. "He wants to…" he paused, like he wanted to find the right word, "… fix this."

Now she was angry. Angry was something she hadn't been in a long time. She had felt helpless more than she ever wanted to feel again. She had felt alone so many times. She had experienced terror like nothing else in her life.

But now it was her turn to be angry.

"Fix it? Fix what?" She wasn't yelling at Luke. "He broke it. He made the mess."

"Your father went to bail Christopher out of jail." She remembered her mother's words from the hospital.

"Luke, take me to my parent's house." She said, anger flooding her veins.

He shook his head, "Lorelai, you don't need to fight any battles right now. You just…"

"Luke. Take me now or I'll just get in my jeep and go when we get home." Stubbornness coming to her aid. When he continued on the highway, she just looked at him and said, "I mean it, Luke. And I'll go without you if I go when we get home. You don't want me going there alone do you?"

He pulled the truck over to the side of the road. "Lorelai" He looked at her. And not just looked at her. But she could feel him studying her face – his eyes searching for something – searching for uncertainty.

But there was none there.

"Luke, I have to do this. I can't just let him buy me a lawyer to try and make up for what he put me through…" She was angry and it didn't scare her thinking about it – it just incensed her even more. "He can't buy me off. He can't clear his conscience with money. They did that my whole life."

And with that, Luke put the car into drive, did a u-turn, and they were flying back to Hartford to her parent's house.

She just let her thoughts meld and solidify with anger and resentment toward her parents. When they pulled into the driveway, she went to get out of the truck, but Luke said, "are you sure you want to do this now?"

"I'm sure."

And with that she found herself at the door. And she put her finger on the doorbell – and held it down. She could hear incessant buzzing and ringing in the house. She held it there.

She knew Luke wanted her to stop – but this was for her.

Anger built up as she remembered the last night she had been here at this house.

The maid opened the door – a frantic look on her face. "Can I…"

Lorelai just marched right in, and started shouting, "I know you're here. Get the hell out here."

She heard Luke apologizing to the maid behind her. But she just walked into the living room. It was empty. But she kept yelling. "I get crazier the longer you leave me…"

Emily came down the stairs faster than Lorelai had ever seen her. She was dressed like she was supposed to go to some function. Her eyes were wide, and she opened her mouth to say something, but Lorelai wasn't done yet. "Where is he?"

"Who?" Emily asked, yelling right back, but yelling out of confusion.

"Dad, who else?" She angry marched through the foyer, past poor, uncomfortable Luke, who attempted to say something to her but she flew past. "Are you too scared to face an angry daughter, dad?"

He came flustered out of his office, his tie loose. "Lorelai?"

It was the first time she had faced him since that night.

She stood there in the doorway of his study. Facing him.

"Do you remember what you did?"

Emily came up behind her, "What is going on? What are we yelling about?"

Lorelai ignored her. And she asked again. Well, she yelled again. "Do you remember?"

He hesitated. Then said, "I do."

A sarcastic look came to her face, and she said, "Oh, really? Do you?"

Confusion. "I thought I did…"

She pointed into the study behind him. "You stood there and yelled at me."

"When?" Emily asked, well, accusingly yelled.

She turned to her mother, and said, "Shut up."

Her father interrupted her, "Lorelai, that is your mother…"

Emily gasped. Lorelai had goaded her mother into an angry frenzy too. "How dare you tell me to…"

"Can't you just stop and listen for ONCE!" Lorelai interrupted. Her hands were shaking. Not because she was afraid. But because she was so angry.

"Lorelai." Her father barked, and she turned her fury back to him.

"Don't tell me to stop, Dad! I was forced to listen to you that night." His face was still defensive, but she could tell he was thinking back to that night.

"I guess you do remember." She said.

And he just nodded.

She pushed past him, and she pointed. "You stood right there. I was right here."

He looked at the floor. "Are you fucking embarrassed?" He looked up, surprised at her language. But she didn't stop. "Are you embarrassed that you stood there and called me all kinds of names?"

"Your father wouldn't do that." Emily yelled.

She quieted her voice. And glared at her father.

"Prostitute."

"Hooker."

"Cheating wife."

His face was red. He couldn't look at her.

Her voice escalated again. "You called me these names. You said horrible things about the way I was dressed. You accused me of using my body to get what I wanted."

"What are you talking about?"

Lorelai turned to her mother. "The night of the party. Dad pulled me into his office and said all of these things."

Emily just looked at her. And then she said, "Well, you were all of those things."

"Of course that's what you thought." Lorelai wasn't even surprised. She knew her parents would never try and see it from her point of view. Even after everything that had been found out later that night that Chris was doing to her. "You couldn't think the best of your daughter just once."

"You looked like you had just gotten off of the street corner." Emily yelled back at her. "I was so embarrassed to have to tell people that you were my daughter."

And her father now raised his voice louder than it had been. "Emily. That is enough."

"Richard!" Her mother said, unable to believe that she would be talked to like that by her husband.

"No, Emily." He said. "You don't know even the half of it."

Lorelai just stood there. Still angry. Still so hurt. But also confused.

Her mother's eyes were aflame – angry at her father. "What don't I know?"

"You haven't even told Mom?" Lorelai exclaimed.

He looked at her. Right in the eyes, and he asked, "How do you even put it into words? How do you tell your wife that you were the cause of …"

Lorelai just said. In her icy voice. Without yelling. "Say it."

They both looked at her.

"Say it." Lorelai repeated. "It makes it real. It brings your life to a halt. Saying what really happened brings the horror into your life."

This was hurting him.

And she didn't feel bad.

He opened his mouth and said, "Emily. We bailed Chris out."

"Of course we did. We didn't know the whole…"

"No, Emily. Listen."

The room was silent as he tried to form the words that had been Lorelai's reality. Her unescapable reality.

"Christopher was…" his voice cracked. "He was abusing Lorelai."

"Is that what you think, dad?" She whispered.

Her father's eyes flew to hers. Fear gripped his face. "What do you mean?"

Anger nipped at the words she could barely say. But she said it. Because she knew they needed to know how they had been instrumental in her demise. "He raped me."

Her mother gasped and sank into the office chair.

But that wasn't enough. She held her father's gaze. "He made me wear that dress. He made me flirt with those men…" She couldn't voice everything. But she did address everything they had blamed her for that night. "If I didn't do what he wanted me to do, like that night at the party, he would…" she paused, and chose her words carefully, unwilling to expose her raw feelings to her parents. "he would beat me."

Her father's face was as white as a ghost.

Her mother had her head in her hands.

And no one said anything.

She looked over to the doorway of the study. Luke was standing there. And he knew this was nothing compared to what she really had suffered. And hse knew this was the end. She was done being angry. She was done.

"Don't blame me for that night." She said. They still couldn't look at her. And then she said what she wanted to say when she stormed in that door earlier. "Dad, I will pay for my own lawyer. Stay out of my life. Don't use your money to buy a clear conscience."

And with that she was done. She walked out of the study. Out of the house. Out of their lives.