Chapter 36 - Go With It
Haruhi heads down the hall at a rapid pace, ignoring the voice she hears calling her name. Just need some space. Alone. I've always figured things out on my own and this is no different. Except, it is. The last ten months spent with the Host Club and getting to know the girls that visit her changed her. Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai, Kaoru and Hikaru - each are dear to me. Of course, there's Kyoya. And then… there's… Tamaki-senpai. "Hm." Maybe Dad is partially right. Maybe Tamaki-senpai does love Kyoya, but then, he loves everybody.
The King of the Host Club, the Princely Host, her faux "father" and overly-attentive friend comes to mind. Obnoxious at times, yes. Over the top, definitely yes. But- And she pauses, memories coming to mind: fishing for a wallet in a slimy pond with her, comforting her during a thunderstorm and who could forget his dressing up in a ballgown just to convince her to stay at Ouran? Nobody does that but a loving friend. I just don't think Tamaki-senpai is capable of hurting a friend. Not on purpose. Her thoughts then turn to the many times the Host King has irked and irritated her: blaming her for others' bad behavior, caressing a look-alike mannequin, showing up unannounced in Karuizawa, and more.
She groans. Without thinking twice, she heads outside of the building, appreciating the way the cold air feels, her woolen blazer still holding body warmth. She ignores the looks coming her way from other students who pass her by dressed in heavy coats and scarves as they make their way to the Library or other activities. Then she hears her name being called again.
"Haruhi, wait up!" It's Renge, coat on and grabbing at her sleeve, forcing them to stop. "What's going on with you today? Are you okay?" The Lady Manager of the Host Club throws her muffler around Haruhi's neck and wraps it around several times. "Come back inside or you'll get sick." Linking her arm with Haruhi's, she leads the brunette back into the building. "I know a place where we can talk in private."
Haruhi knows it's useless to argue when Renge is on a mission. They climb a flight of stairs, walk down a few hallways and finally reach a doorway marked "World Languages." Reaching into her pocket, Renge pulls out a key, much to Haruhi's surprise.
"Shhh," the blonde says. "I know this room is empty for at least another 40 minutes."
"But how come-"
"I have a key? I am the Vice-president of the French Club, after all."
"But you're only a 1st-year."
Renge unlocks the door and pulls them both inside. As soon as they're out of the hallway, she turns to face Haruhi, who drops her bookbag unceremoniously when the beginnings of small snake heads appear like a halo around Renge's head. "Are you suggesting I'm incompetent?" Renge barks.
"No," comes the mildly cowed reply.
"That a speaker of la langue française from childhood wouldn't be the most logical choice on the planet to head a club dedicated to helping its members speak said language more naturally and to celebrate the culture and history of France?" Bark, bark.
"Jeez, Renge. Calm down. Forget I mentioned it." And with lightning speed, the girl's attitude downshifts to cheery and the snakes disappear.
"C'mon, Haruhi. Let's you and I sit down and you can tell me all about it."
"All about what?"
"I can tell when something is bothering you and I'll find out anyway, so you might as well just tell me."
Renge removes her coat and situates herself on the tufted, black leather sofa at one side of the room and pats the place beside her. Haruhi joins her, but faces forward. On the wall opposite are posters from various countries, representing all the languages taught at Ouran: French, German, Spanish, Chinese and English. The U.S. poster catches her eye the most, displaying a multitude of tourist sights of all kinds, from the Statue of Liberty to the beachfront of Waikiki.
America looks interesting. That's where Harvard is.
"Earth to Haruhi," Renge calls, waving a hand in front of her face. "What are you staring at? Oh, the posters. I think traveling is a pain, don't you? You can never bring enough of your favorite things along. I had to leave most of my Miyabi collection back home. Isn't it funny how Kyoya-senpai looks like Miyabi? I'm glad he's not my crush anymore. That, Haruhi, would be you. You do know that, don't you?"
Haruhi turns her head and their eyes meet. Renge is looking at her with longing, and Haruhi realizes that this is the first time they've ever really been alone together, without a hovering chaperone or friends around.
"Umm, Renge? You know I can't have a girlfriend while I'm a host. It's one of our rules." The blonde pouts. "But I'm flattered," Haruhi adds with a bright smile.
Renge's mouth forms a tight line and her eyes squint. Preceded by a huff, she says with a tone of determination, "Look Haruhi, we've known each other for a while now and I've been very patient. We don't have to be a couple, but don't you think it's time we experimented a little?" Renge leans in and Haruhi leans to one side.
"What are you talking about?" the brunette asks, her eyes blinking several times in disbelief.
"Oh c'mon. You can't tell me you've never thought about kissing me."
Haruhi shakes her head. "Actually…no."
"Want to?" comes the sassy reply.
This is bad déjà-vu. Haruhi attempts to move back and away, but Renge leans in and Haruhi slips onto an elbow. "I thought you wanted to talk."
Renge is hovering over her, bracing herself above Haruhi's form. "Talk, schmalk. I have a better idea."
"Renge, really, don't do this."
"Kiss me or I'll just tell everyone you did," she announces.
"But that's blackmail!"
"No one will find out unless you or I say something," the blonde confidently counters as she leans closer, forcing Haruhi onto her back.
"But-" Renge leans in closer and closes her eyes. "But-" Closer. "I'm a girl!" Haruhi blurts out. Damn! Did I just say that? From the way Renge pulls back entirely and stands up, mouth agape, she clearly just did. A flood of relief fills Haruhi's body.
"What - did - you - just - say?" comes the Billion Yen Question.
Haruhi does a face palm. Well, that's that. "It's true," Haruhi says from behind her hands in a calm, albeit resigned, voice. "I'm a girl; always have been." Her hand drops and she sits up and back, straightening her tie before turning to face Renge. So, let's just deal with it.
Renge regards her long and hard for a solid minute in silence though her eyes reveal a number of passing thoughts and emotions - surprise, of course, but also anger, curiosity, a little sadness and finally, acceptance. She sits down further away from Haruhi than before and crosses her hands in her lap.
"I suspected all along," she says with a smug smile. "And you were the one out with Kyoya last night, weren't you?"
Guess I'm all in now. "That would be me."
"What about Carcinoma? He's going to be disappointed."
"I don't think so. He already knows."
"Well." Renge's shoulders drop and she turns her face, deep in thought. "This certainly puts a different spin on things."
"It doesn't have to."
Renge turns back. "Are you kidding? You're a popular boy in the most popular club at Ouran and you've been entertaining high school girls for the last year as a fake. Don't you get it?
"I guess I don't and I don't care. I think it's time to come clean, about everything. That's what Kyoya and I said we'd do."
"Then let me be your guide into how the "girly mind" works. But first, I need backstory. Why don't you just start at the beginning and gimme the gist. We'll take it from there."
"About what, exactly?"
"All of it. As Manager of the Host Club, I need to know everything." Renge's exasperation is clear. "I just can't believe I didn't realize sooner."
Haruhi looks at the elegant wall clock. Only twenty minutes have passed and escape is unlikely. There's no point in pussy-footing around the truth, anyway. And so, taking a deep breath and exhaling, she makes as quick work as she can outlining the highlights of her membership in the Ouran Host Club from shattered vase to the present minus the personal detail about Kyoya and herself.
Renge listens attentively, her eyes growing wider and starrier by the minute. Haruhi finally concludes her narration with, "…so that's why Kasanoda and I have tea every week. We're pretty good friends now."
Looking back at Renge, she notices that the girl is visibly trembling. "This is… This is… Fantastic!" the blonde cries. Renge grabs both of Haruhi's hands in hers, her moe energy radiating as heat through her palms. "It's just like a shojo manga! I can't believe you've kept this a secret for so long - the gender thing, I mean." Renge is giddy with excitement. "We'll deal with the two hosts dating fallout later."
"And if there is no later?"
"It doesn't matter." A hiccup of a giggle escapes. "Oh, I could eat three bowls of rice! It's sooo romantic! I can't believe the Shadow King is in love." Renge is practically swooning, the back of her hand pressed to her forehead.
"I didn't say that," Haruhi corrects.
"Are you?" Renge prods.
"In love? Ummm, I like him... a lot. But I've never been in love before, so I'm not sure. And we've only been on one date."
"So tell me something," Renge begins then pauses, eyes narrowing and leaning in, just a little. "Have you dated any of the other hosts?"
Haruhi demurs by saying, "The twins are like my brothers. Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai are cute, but they're too old. I'm only fifteen, Renge."
"Almost sixteen from what I've heard."
"Fine. And Kyoya and I just sort of happened. Neither of us planned it." So why am I feeling defensive?
"If that's how you want to play it," comes the sing-song response.
"It's true," the brunette insists. "And the guys are guys, sure, but they've been friends and gentlemen. I wouldn't have stayed, otherwise."
"So what about Tamaki-senpai, huh? Every girl sees the way he dotes on you."
"Tell me about it. I keep reminding him that I don't need another dad, but he keeps insisting that we're family."
Renge shrugs, not understanding. "Whatever. I think you and Kyoya-senpai make a cute couple."
"We're not an official couple. Not yet. We still have some things to work out."
"Things? What things?" The curious cat is back.
"Just getting to know one another better, developing trust and all that."
"That's why people date, Haruhi. It's a process, not an event." When Haruhi remains quiet, she asks, "So what's the matter?"
"Well... Kaoru says the Ootori family is full of secrets."
"Everybody has secrets. Look at you. You've been keeping a secret for nearly a year!"
I have, haven't I? "But nobody got hurt by it."
Still immersed in otaku mode, Renge is off in her own little world, giving a moving narration to no one in particular. "Raised without a mom, a hard-working honor student, you've braved many troubles in your lifetime, but you have a plan and you will succeed." Narration over, she points at Haruhi, "You're a role model for young women everywhere!"
"Huh? I'm just an average girl. It doesn't matter who raised me. I am who I am."
"Does anyone else outside of the club or Casanova know your secret?"
"My dad, of course. And I'm pretty sure Chairman Suoh has been briefed by Tamaki-senpai."
"Okay then. This is going to take some shrewd management if the Host Club is going to weather your coming out, so to speak."
"Really, Renge. You don't have to do anything. Maybe it's best if we just see how it goes and let people feel what they feel."
Renge holds up her hands, palms turned up and out. "Nonsense. A coming out is a delicate matter. After all, you don't want your regular customers to feel cheated, do you?"
Haruhi thinks about Momoka and Kimiko and the others. "You think they would mind?"
"You ninny. They've been crushing on you for months and now you're going to dash their girlish dreams into the dirt."
"That seems like an over-reaction."
"Of course it is, but that's why it has to be done just so. Some girls might find it adorable, but what do you think the rest of Ouran is going to say after they find out you've been spending time with a group of handsome boys, day in and day out?"
"I don't care what anyone else thinks," Haruhi avers. "Besides, I'm a girl and I wouldn't mind."
"I see. So if Kyoya-senpai suddenly revealed that he was female, you wouldn't care?"
Haruhi crosses her arms and puts a finger to her lips and looks up. Kyoya as a girl would be kinda cute, but I don't think I'd want to date her…him. What am I doing? She shakes herself out of the brief imagery of Kyoya in his black gown and fan. "What does that have to do with anything?!"
"And let's not forget the customers who visit Kyoya-senpai, few as he allows. Jealousy makes people do things they normally wouldn't do, Haruhi, especially when it comes to love."
All at once, Tamaki's words at the restaurant spring to mind... ...I think I understand more than you're willing to admit, Kyoya... "I- I just figure I got myself into this mess, so I have to get myself out."
Renge's visage softens at that and a kind look appears. "Just because I know you're a girl, doesn't mean I still don't have a crush on you, y'know? Not in that way, of course, but as a friend. You do have friends so we'll figure it out." She places a hand over Haruhi's and gives it a squeeze.
"Tamaki-senpai said something similar to me, once," she responds, somewhat distracted by her thoughts.
"And I'm sure the rest of the Host Club agrees," Renge confirms. "Things might get a little wonky at club, but just breathe. This is going to work out just fine."
"You think?" And for the first time, Haruhi sees Renge as the true girl friend she needs in her time of need.
"Absolutely. As Manager of the Ouran Host Club, I'm going to make sure of it."
The clocktower chimes the three-quarter mark and Haruhi starts. "I have to get to the salon!" she cries and rushes to the door.
"We'll chat again, soon," Renge encourages. "Just remember why you're a host."
Haruhi turns at the open doorway and looks back. "To pay off my debt?"
"Really? Think about it." A mysterious smile graces the blonde's face.
Picking up her bookbag from where it fell against the wall, Haruhi doesn't have time to figure out what Renge means as she bolts out of the office.
End - Chapter 36 - Go With It
Go With It - TokiMonsta [Renge-centric]
VERSE 1
Follow my lead
'Cause I've been here before.
We're close as family
And I won't steer you wrong.
You blame it on yourself
And I know how you wallow.
And when it doesn't go your way
you got to follow, follow.
VERSE 2
Follow me, me, me - me
'Cause I've been here before.
We're just like family
And I won't steer you wrong,
Steer you wrong.
No. I will never, never, never, never, never…
No. I will never, never…
CHORUS (2x)
Ay-oh, let it go.
See the big picture
Explode like a light bulb.
Let it unfold.
Just go, go with it.
Just go with it. (2x)
Just let it go.
VERSE 1
VERSE 2
VERSE 1
CHORUS (2x)
Ay-oh, let it go
See the big picture
Explode like a light bulb.
Let it unfold.
Just go, go with it. (3x)