as i mentioned in the last chapters, this is actually a triple update. there are THREE chapters that i just recently uploaded. a triple update for the festive feel, am i right? angst to go with your Christmas biscuits!

Eat Your Words

Chapter Thirty-Six

Kurt's heart did a mini pause when he opened the door and he saw Sebastian's sister standing there. If she was not carrying a baby and holding a heaving chocolate cake, Kurt would probably have told her to go away.

"Mom made this for Sebastian," Lena said, as if Sebastian didn't have an eating disorder.

Kurt carried the chocolate cake to the counter, ignoring the ache in his right arm. Sebastian had been sticking his gay magazines into Kurt's room, with pretty pink glitter lubes. He was pissed but yesterday, he… got curious. The fact that he got off on something that Sebastian gave him quite thoroughly disgusted, confused and disturbed him.

"I didn't get cake," Kurt's heart skipped a few beats when he heard Dave's voice by the doorway. Dave was here?

Kurt looked back to see Dave in a black-and-red jacket that looked too big for him. His jeans looked rumpled and messy, and he generally looked like a normal high school guy that didn't suck dick. His cologne was a little strong, and he was holding a bunch of flowers. These were fat, puffy peonies wrapped around in a neat bubblegum-pink ribbon.

"Hey," Kurt said, picking up the flowers from Dave. Sebastian still received at least two or three bouquets a day. It had been two and a half weeks since he'd come from the hospital. "Taking a break from the yellow ones?"

"Thought I'd try something different," Dave explained, "The guy at the shop said it was popular."

"For guys that just got out of the ICU?" Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Or for girls that you wanted to put out?"

Dave smiled a little. "Probably for the chicks," he replied. "Do you think Smythe would throw these at me?"

"I think he's afraid to touch it," Kurt replied. "He might accidentally contract gay man cooties."

Dave laughed. "What if I give him a cock ring too?" Kurt bet that Sebastian would tear it off the stem (with protective gloves), and then use the ring on the spot whilst grinding his hips to the most lurid songs he could come up with.

No, Sebastian's voice said in Kurt's head. I'd ask him if he really thinks that my cock is small enough to withstand a ring.

Dalton started two weeks ago, and Kurt's first day of community college wasn't due for a week. He had a job at the Lima Bean, and bought Sebastian daily discounted lattes. Kurt also got him a daily pastry or two—croissants with lashes of butter or cheese, big muffins that were studded with chocolate-chips, and sandwiches that were stuffed with turkey and mayonnaise. Sebastian didn't eat most of this stuff. He did dissect mayonnaise out of the turkey sandwich, and then added three inches of kale and fat-free yoghurt to fill the gap of mayonnaise-bread-innards. So yeah.

Sebastian did not eat healthy. He was obsessed. He was scared of eating sugar in case he had a stroke tomorrow.

Apart from his appointments, Sebastian barely left the basement. But he was also probably the mysterious creature that managed to clean the living room and Kurt and Finn's rooms with his crutches. Sebastian also managed to not need help to get in or out of the bathroom or take a shower even though this house was not exactly crutch-friendly.

And today, Kurt was seriously disturbed when he realised the lawn was mowed, and Carole's flowers watered.

How did this guy do it when he was asleep until noon and needed at least three different painkillers to sleep anyway?

That kid is supposed to be recovering from managing not to die, Burt told Kurt. NOT sticking Finn's underwear back in his closet.

Kurt had some nightmares about the events that took place in the Smythe household. If he had nightmares and he'd only been there for about an hour, he could not even imagine what Sebastian was suppressing.

An animalistic need to stuff a guy with my non-constrainted cock? Sebastian would probably offer as a suggestion.

"Is he eating okay?" Lena broke Kurt out of his thoughts. Kurt was wondering if Sebastian and Lena had the same taste—they were both currently in only black and bought owned jeans with chains stuck to them. They looked like they were part of a gang and were about to head out and smoke weed. Which Kurt was sure that Sebastian did downstairs in the basement at least a few times a week… much to Burt's chagrin.

There were only so much that Kurt could do to convince his dad that it was probably medicinal.

Kurt stared at the cake. "If Sebastian eats cake today without palpitations, I'm personally going to sleep with him." Which he did not want to do, no matter how much weed he consumed or how many magazines Sebastian gave him.

Dave rubbed his neck. "He don't like cake?" he asked. No, he has a eating disorder, Kurt thought. Did you notice?

"With his deadly eating disorder and his aversion to eating anything that isn't going to give him superpowers the next morning?" Kurt didn't get this how he was okay with eating a whole meal, but he hyperventilated when the coffee shop gave him a microscopic biscuit to have with his coffee. "If he eats a slice of cake today, I'm pretty sure he's convinced that tomorrow, he's going to need a kidney transplant because of his diabetes."

Lena even snorted like Sebastian. Maybe those two had more in common than he thought. She placed a hand protectively over her baby bump and said, "Maybe because he did have diabetes?" she asked.

Dave looked surprised. "That's cool," he said. "But isn't that kind of diabetes like… not related to food?"

Lena rolled her eyes. "No, I'm talking about the kind that you usually get when you're old cause you're too big."

Trying to imagine a kid that was so fat that he had diabetes as a kid was impossible. Especially if they were talking about Skinny Skeletal Sebastian that was currently having nightmares about anything with more than 1% fat.

"Sebastian's SIXTEEN!" Kurt didn't believe that. "When did he have the time to contract that kind of diabetes?"

Lena just shrugged. "He was on the pills from before. And the injections," she explained. "He got it after he hit the three-hundred-mark." Kurt still could not believe that Sebastian used to be three-hundred-pounds. That meant that he shed at least two-quarters of his body weight. How could someone lose most of their body weight without dying?

Kurt tried to imagine Dave look like Sebastian, and it made him sick. And Sebastian used to be WAY bigger than Dave.

"Can I go talk to him?" Lena finally asked. "I'm pretty sure he hasn't left the house since he got here."

Kurt slowly nodded his head, but he didn't know why she needed his permission to talk to her own flesh and blood. He did, however, hope that Lena would somehow magically turn Sebastian into a functioning human being.

"Trent didn't tell me that he was out of the hospital," Dave said. "I… I don't know why he didn't."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Probably because Sebastian likes you?"

Dave shook his head. "Yeah, I know that he does," he replied. "But he was in the fucking ICU, man! He was hooked to needles and wires and machines and crap. Why the fuck should Trent care about the fact that he likes me?"

Kurt opened his mouth to defend Trent, but it a pretty bad move on Trent's part. "I don't know."

"HE COULD'VE DIED!" Dave yelled. "Not once or twice but like… I'm pretty sure it's a fucking miracle that his dad didn't manage to kill him. It's amazing that his fucking OBVIOUS eating disorder didn't make him croak."

Kurt shuddered, thinking about it. "Do you really think that—?"

"YEAH, I DO!" Dave cut him off. "Yeah, I really think that it could've happened. I think you know that it could've happened. But people don't wanna talk about it, you know? It's just fucking easier to send him flowers for a month and a half. Because everyone that got half a fucking brain could figure out that he could've just died."

Or he could've shot himself if he hadn't lost so much blood, Kurt thought bitterly. "I can't believe that it turned out like this."

"I know," Dave agreed. "No wonder he's so fucking pissed all the time. If I was him, I'd be fucking wondering when people are going to start saying something about it. The fact that he got that thin without anyone doing anything is a fucking travesty. How the fuck could you let anyone get that thin anyway?"

All Kurt could think about was Sebastian picking up those pair of pants from the ladies' section. "I know."

"We owe him big time," Dave replied. "Did you know that I saw him throw up behind the dumpsters before? We had a fight in this café and—shit. I went to his house. It looks like a fucking health hazard by the way—and…"

"I know!" Kurt said in disgust. "He's been asking me every day to take him there to pick up his things!"

"Really?" Dave seemed surprised. "What kind of stuff does he have back there?"

"No clue," Kurt admitted. He doubted Sebastian would answer him. "But he did nearly die for it."

"And he still doesn't have his stuff?" Dave asked. "Seriously! Uh… how about we go get him his stuff?"

Kurt took a deep breath. What was he going to say? That being near that house made him anxious? How terribly stupid, considering the guy that was tortured there the whole summer wanted to get his things back. He nearly died because he wanted his things back. And he still wanted his things back.

He half-wondered if Sebastian had the cure for cancer in that house since he was so eager to return there.

"We probably should," Kurt finally said. He was terrified. "But I… I'm not particularly excited about it." Who cares?

Dave nodded his head. "When his sister's done talking to him, we should go."

Kurt nodded his head. He hated himself for having nightmares about that place. He hated it because he was the reason Sebastian even ended up in that broken-down shack of dismay. The whole world's population of arthropods lived there, and Kurt hated bugs. But what was he going to say? That he wanted to sit this one out because he had delicate sensibilities? He'd just be content with the fact that he was letting Sebastian walk in the house that nearly killed him without having his support? Because he didn't want to face up to the idea that anyone actually used to live there?

"Trent and I broke up," Dave broke Kurt out of his thoughts. "I mean…we weren't really officially going out but…"

"That's too bad," Kurt tried to refrain from asking how this was going to change Sebastian's relationships with them.

"Yeah, I didn't want to. It's the first guy I ever dated so I thought that maybe we'd last a while—even if it didn't work out, you know?" Dave nodded his head. "But it's just-Sebastian could've died without me getting to talk to him and Trent didn't let me know just because Sebastian has a little thing for me? Come fucking on, Trent. I don't buy that! And I just… don't wanna play games with someone else's life, you know?" Kurt agreed with that whole-heartedly.

"Because this is like Blaine not telling you about me trying to hang myself, because I'm into you. Seriously."

Kurt couldn't even fathom Blaine not telling him about Dave's suicide. It sounded so cruel. "I'm sorry, Dave."

Dave smiled a little. "It's not your fault, Kurt. You know that!"

Kurt was sorry that he couldn't tell Dave that Sebastian tried to kill himself too. Dave might be able to say something, you know? But Kurt was already angry at himself for accidentally telling Trent in the first place. Kurt couldn't just tell people about the most vulnerable he'd ever seen someone be. How wrong was that anyway?

Kurt was happy pretty much every day, thinking that Dave was alive. Every day that Dave was okay was a chance for him to prove that he was sorry that he didn't notice how much he was struggling.

"But it's just fucking crazy how this happened to go past everyone's heads," Dave said. "Even his school. Even me."

He was sure that this was because everyone just thought Sebastian was a lying dick. Which was not a great excuse.

Kurt nodded his head. "I know," he said. "And it wasn't like Sebastian wasn't verbal about it. And even if he wasn't, the scary weight loss combined with the fact that he dresses like he's homeless should've been enough."

Dave snorted. "I still have his clothes in my car," he admitted. "One of his jeans have thirty-five holes in them."

"You counted the holes in his jeans?" Kurt should not be laughing. He should be appalled. "That's disgusting!"

Dave shook his head. "I tried to wear one of his shirts and ended up ripping it in two halves because of my huge, bulging biceps," he added on. Trying to imagine Dave putting on Sebastian's extra-extra small top was hilarious.

"I'm sure," Kurt was in a better mood. He could barely even remember the days where Dave was awful to him.

He heard the door open and looked up to see Nate Barnes walk inside the kitchen. He came to visit Sebastian pretty much every day after school. But he was two hours late on both Mondays and Wednesdays because of his after-school lacrosse practice. He was currently sweating—pardon Kurt, glistening. His honey-coloured hair gleamed beautifully in the light. Nate had his backpack on him, and a rose-coloured fluffy teddy bear into his hands.

Nate's eyes were so blue that light just shone right through them. In Sebastian-speak, he'd probably mention something that they were bluer than his balls right now, stuck in the basement all day long with no entertainment.

Dave was speechless, which was pretty much anyone that met Nate for the first time.

"Hey," Nate said to Dave, and then stuck his hand out for a handshake. "My name is Nathan Barnes."

"Dave Karofsky," he tentatively accepted the handshake. Kurt felt like there was way too much testosterone in one room right now. "I'm a fri—…uh… I know Sebastian. And… I got him flowers since he almost died a month back."

"That's generally a good reason to give someone flowers," Nate commented, smiling weakly. "How is he?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Moody because I told him that he can't live in the basement forever," he was worried about Sebastian staying there all the time. He was sure Sebastian was seriously depressed, but how could he bring this up? He absolutely refused Kurt driving him to his appointments. "And he's probably horny."

"He's always horny," Nate probably wanted to help Sebastian with that. "So, you want him to come out?"

Kurt glared at Nate for his bad joke. "Ha ha ha," he mumbled in irritation. "I find that hilarious. Why don't you go tell Sebastian that you want to have his surrogate babies and then maybe he'd go out on a date with you?"

"Stop it, Kurt," Nate went red. No, Sebastian didn't say anything, but it was kind of hilarious that Sebastian was pining after Blaine first, who was unavailable (and continued to be). Now, Dave, that was available then unavailable and then became available again. Meanwhile, the most gorgeous guy that ever existed was pining after him. However, Conceited Face Everyone-Thinks-I'm-Hot Sebastian Smythe didn't even know that Nate liked him.

Dave looked like he got it too. "You like Sebastian?" he asked Nate, who just went redder. "Wow."

Nate ran his hand through his locks of pure gold. "Come on, Kurt," he groaned. "Stop."

"It's just…" Kurt admitted. "Sebastian doesn't look like he knows that you really like him… possibly even lo—"

Nate sighed deeply. "Because it doesn't matter, okay?" he said. "Sebastian has an eating disorder and his dad was beating him up for his whole summer—I'm pretty sure he doesn't need to know I'm into him."

Sebastian was too busy crushing on Dave to notice Nate's interest. This was particularly evident with his daily flower deliveries. Since Sebastian separated his flowers downstairs into piles called From Dave and Not From Dave. Dave's pile obviously hadn't grown since he was discharged from the ICU.

"What do you and Sebastian talk about?" Dave asked, sitting down on a chair. He'd been standing for a while.

Nate sat down too, placing a hand on his lap. "Ironically enough," he was eying the pink, fat peonies in Kurt's hands—the ones that he even forgot that he was holding. "Last time that we were talking, he told me that he thinks that the flowers must cost a real fortune. You know, since guys are sending him some daily."

David went red. "Yeah," he looked at the flowers. "He don't like them I guess?"

"He just said that it'll be nicer if he got to talk to some people," Nate explained. It didn't sound like anything Sebastian would say. "Not about like… what happened, but just having some people come over is nice… I think he's right, you know. Like anyone could send a bunch of flowers. But looking at the guy that you hurt is pretty bold."

Kurt didn't think about it like that. People were almost buying his forgiveness. That sounded wrong.

"Yeah," Kurt swallowed the lump in his throat. He'd read names on these bouquets that he never heard about before.

"He likes them though," Nate admitted. Kurt was finding that hard to believe—Sebastian liked flowers?

Kurt shook his head. "He does not," he was sure. "I think he wants to light them all on fire."

"Ha!" Nate found that hilarious. "I noticed that he's been looking up what the flowers that people get him mean on Wikipedia…well, he didn't actually tell me that. I noticed it on his tabs when we were streaming movies yesterday."

"He's been looking up what?" Dave's ears went red. "What the fuck do these mean?" he pointed to the peonies.

Nate laughed. "I'm pretty sure it means you're pissed at him," he said light-heartedly.

"I ain't pissed," Dave glared at the flowers, like they could change into something else. "Smythe thinks I'm pissed?"

"What am I pissed about?" Sebastian asked. Unless he put on sixty pounds, he shouldn't be allowed to wear black.

The kitchen felt crowded because Sebastian and Lena got into the kitchen—though technically there were three more people in the room. Though Sebastian was so thin he counted as maybe half a person.

Sebastian was on his crutches, and it looked like he would rather be lying down. All eyes were on him. "What?"

Kurt cleared his throat. "You left the basement?" he was surprised seeing Sebastian standing on crutches. Though he suspected he had to do that to shower and manage to trim Carole's gardens without her even noticing.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "No, I'm still in the basement, jacking off to guys that don't ask stupid questions like that."

Kurt refrained the urge from asking Sebastian if he wanted cake, considering Sebastian might actually die on the spot if he was offered anything with sugar, chemicals or hydrogenated palm oils.

"I got you those," Dave finally said. He pointed towards the big, fat peonies in Kurt's hand, and Kurt felt like a messenger for flowers. A very bad messenger for flowers. "So yeah… just don't look up what they mean."

If Dave was any other guy in the planet, Kurt was sure Sebastian would tell him to shove it up his ass because then maybe the shit that he spewed out of his mouth would smell better.

Sebastian cocked his head to one side. "Oh… kay," he said, inspecting them. "They're pretty," he said after.

They're pretty, Kurt reiterated into his head. He didn't even know that Sebastian knew what the word pretty was. He was under the impression that every time Sebastian tried to say it, petty came out instead.

Nate also noticed this, because he looked like he went into shock. "Pretty?" he reiterated.

"Yeah? You like 'em?" Dave asked. Sebastian nodded his head. "You like these more or the old ones?"

Sebastian paused to think about it. Kurt expected this was the time Sebastian was going to redeem himself. You thought I was serious? You thought I actually want flowers to stink up the basement that already smells like Lady Gay's vanilla farts?

"I like purple flowers," Sebastian said. Uh… maybe this was just Sebastian's way of flirting? Or maybe this was the ventilation-associated brain damage that his mom told them about.

"Yeah?" Dave asked, and Sebastian nodded his head again. "What kind are your favourites?"

Sebastian just shrugged. "I ain't sure of the names." Kurt was, however, sure Sebastian didn't eat enough kale today.

"Do you want cake?" Dave gestured towards the cake that Lena got. Kurt held his breath because Dave asked The Question. Everyone knew that you did not ask Sebastian if he wanted CAKE. "Uh… it's not my cake. It's—"

Sebastian cocked his head to the side. "You'll get me purple ones tomorrow?" he asked.

Dave took a moment to recover. "Yeah," he said.

Nate looked surprised, the teddy bear in his hand was pretty much long forgotten. "I can get you some—"

Dave cut him off. "Kurt and I are going to drive you to get your stuff," he said. "Is that okay?"

It is most definitely not okay, Kurt said to himself. There are bugs and fleas and probably Fred Weasley's ghost.

"Yeah," Sebastian said coolly, then he picked off one of the chocolate buttons that were on top of the cake and ate it without prompting. Kurt was sure that Sebastian just had a stroke. "I want my fucking stuff back."