A/N at the bottom, babes.

AKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

"Kara?" Alex's voice bounced off the walls and she internally scoffed at the timidness she heard reflecting back to her. "Are you in here?"

A soft creaking sound accompanied her footsteps as she ventured further into the building. A breeze flushed past and her slightly out-grown pixie cut tickled the nape of her neck. If she wasn't so guarded, Alex would have scratched it.

She would never admit it, but the only thing she could hear was the thunderous pound of her heartbeat. She could only think the worst because every time she thought better of a situation, it turned out to be just that; worse.

She pushed her bedroom door open and found Kara, legs crossed and sitting on the floor. She had a book in her lap that Alex recognized immediately.

Kara normally would have slammed the pages shut and act as if she wasn't being nosy, but she was far too wrapped up in the words of the pages in front of her.

"I think there is a certain level of sadness that inherently follows me. Like how when I was a little girl and I used to get strep throat constantly, so much so that I had to have a tonsillectomy. But, like unlike my tonsils, there is not way for a surgeon to cut the sadness out. There's no way for it to metastasize, but it always does. It's like the moments right before you drown; your instinct to keep your mouth shut being so strong that no matter how much it feels like your head is going to explode, you don't actually inhale until you're unconscious

I know they have pills that help to dial the sadness back, but like the penicillin i took as a child for strep, it's only a temporary and the seemingly terminal illness just comes back. I tried to cut the sadness out myself once with the metal contents of a broken pencil sharpener, but this only proved to be about as effective as the pills, only i found this to be far more addicting.

They say that you can't see mental illness like you can a physical illness, such as a broken arm, but if you only looked a little closer you'd see that one out of every six kids are walking around with candy cane stripes head to toe. Depression, the so called "silent killer", screams out at you, begging for attention if only you listened. If you only payed attention, you'd notice the summer's long sleeves and the winter's purple eye bags. You'd see the nervous leg bouncing anf frequant bathroom trips.

Depression can't be fixed with the contents of the nearest first-aid kit, and though it isn't always bleeding out to you, it's not invivsible."

The next page carried a similar story and Kara's only thought was "Maggie... it's about Maggie."

"Stop. Give me a minute.

I don't know what we're doing anymore.

You're filling me with feelings of uncertainty.

You're here and you're bubbly and i am intoxicated.

and then you are gone, it's quiet, and my head is at caterwaul.

You make it hard for me to want to still be here.

But you make it even harder for me to leave.

I am infatuated with you

Though you make me feel like i don't matter and i'm not worth the time.

Is there something wrong with me?

Is the stench of loneliness one that trails after me?

I don't expect you to love me like you used to.

You fell in love with warm sunshine

And i'm not that anymore.

Now i am the kind of cold that bites your skin.

I want to melt that away and greet you instead with incandescence.

But I can't find a way to explain myself to you.

I can't seem to keep anyone or anything.

So i understand if you change your mind.

I know that this must be hard for you.

But you can presume it true when i disclose that it is atrocious for me.

All i want is for you to be here and i know you say that you're trying

But you aren't.

I try to make everyone happy, especially you. But what about me?

Am i asking too much of you?

Because i don't think that i am.

You hurt me before and i am not going to let my walls fall in front of you.

I would rather feel lonely than be torn apart. "

"Give me that!" Alex's voice rang back at her as she snatched the book and startled her younger sister.

"Alex!" Kara grasped for the leather bound book only for a her fingertips to graze its binding, but not grip it.

"Stop going trough my shit, Kara! We aren't little girls anymore. It's an invasion of privacy." Alex seethed, though she was more upset with herself for not hiding it better than she was at Kara for reading the books secrets.

"I couldn't help it! I had to read it. It was calling out to me!" The bubbly blonde argued, standing up in a huff.

"Sure. The book 'told' you to touch it, open it, read it, and then personify it."

"I'm glad we could agree. Huh, now the book is telling me that I should contribute to read it. I think I should listen to the book!" Kara leaned forward only to have Alex hold the book up over her head and behind her back.

"Yeah, well now the book wanted me to tell you to leave it the fuck alone!" Alex challenged and took a careful step backwards. She recognized that gleam and smirk combination. With a slight laugh Kara began chasing after Alex.

Alex bound over her own feet and raced to the living room. At least there she knew she could marry-go-round around the counter and keep distance between her nosy sister and herself.

"Give me the book!"

"It's my book!"

"I don't care! I was reading that!"

"That's exactly the problem!"

"I don't see a problem with it!"

"And I don't see an answer either!"

Kara floated over the kitchen counter, but was met with a boot-covered foot to the face.

"It my book. It has my thoughts in it. It's mine. Not yours. Stop being so involved!"

"Stop being oppressive!"

"How am I being oppressive!? It's MY book!"

"Okay, and I'M interested in how you're feeling. How am I supposed to be there for you if all you do is shut me out!?"

"I'm not shutting you out, you're right here!"

"I didn't know that you were dealing with so much on your own! Just let me help you!"

"Stop trying to save everyone, Kara! I don't need you to save me. I'm fine!"

"Obviously you aren't fine. But if you want to hide like a coward then I guess you can do that." Kara knew what she was doing. She knew exactly what she was doing. She knew she was enticing Alex into talking with that sediment.

And within thirty seconds, the shouting stopped. The angered expression fell from Alex's face and was replaced by the exhaustion she's been so careful to avoid.

She flopped onto the couch, a quiet breathe blowing past her lips.

"I'm sorry I read your book. But I just want to know what's going on with you. Why won't you just talk to me?" Kara fell back into the couch next to Alex

"I'm supposed to look out for you. It is my job to look after you. Dad said I needed to look out for you. I don't need you to save me. You save the world."

"And you are more than the world. Alex, if there's one thing that you know it's that i will always, no matter how hard you try to stop me, I will always try to save you."

"I just miss her. I miss her so much." A quiet sob escaped Alex's lips. It was hard to admit out loud she still wanted Maggie. That she still needed Maggie.

"I know you do. I know. But it will be okay. It's gonna be alright."

"Is it though? Is anything ever alright?"

"Alex." Kara breathed. "Happiness is something you spend so much time looking for that you miss out on it all together. Happiness isn't as rare thing that happens once in a lifetime. It's a bunch of small good moments put together. It's the way the sky looks right before the sun sets. It's your favorite hoodie. It's your favorite song. It's dinner with J'onn. It's karaoke night. It's laughing so hard you feel a six pack coming in. It's all you can eat buffets. You have to learn to enjoy happiness when you are in it. Happiness will never be something you find. But it will be something that you create. It's something you become. It's something you will be. You can't control everything. Someone's you are going to make mistakes. You are going to get hurt. You are going to know defeat, as much as you hate it. You are going to face loss. You are going to fall down. You can't spend your life trying to prevent things from happening, but you can focus on the purpose of them and how strong you are for standing up again Falling doesn't make you weak because standing makes you strong. And you have always stood. You will always stand back up. I know that. You taught me how to do that."

"Thank you Kara." Alex smiled for the first time in weeks and meant it.

"Always."

"Ice cream?"

"Race ya!"

AKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

A/N: hey buds. How ya doin? I know, it's been a while since I posted. I'm sorry about that :/ I wish I wrote more often. I've been really big into poetry lately so I've been focusing on that.

I hope you guys are doing good and I hope this was a good little read. I know I never update and I know this is short, but at least it's something.

Psss... hey... you should, ya know, leave a request so I know what to write. Thank you!

Thank you guys for reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting.

Have a great day!

Xoxo, Bella.