It'd be Funnier if He Wore a Tutu, Too.

The rest of the summer went by quickly; too quickly if you asked any of the teens. As scheduled, the Marauders gathered at Potter manor in August. All six friends were reunited once again where the truth about Sirius' exodus from the Black abode was revealed. The Potter parents refused to allow Sirius to be homeless and he was permanently welcomed into the Potter home. The mystery about how Sirius managed to get to the Potter home originally still wasn't solved, but a few of the teens had their theories.

Unfortunately the fun didn't last. Summer came to an end as it did every year in much the same fashion: starting with the arrival of the Hogwarts' letters, to shopping in Diagon Alley and ending with the annual train ride to Hogsmeade station.

The six friends slipped into the usual daily routine, only the year wasn't like last year. For one, the friends were in their sixth year. Second, Remus and Hermione were dating much more openly. Third, Peter had grown quieter and more reserved than he had ever been. Last they were no longer six friends, they grew to seven. Lily began sitting with the Marauders more often than not, which made James quite happy.

It was November before Harry was able to corner Peter alone. In Harry's timeline Peter was a Death Eater. Hermione and Harry had been watching very closely for signs, changes in Peter's behavior and this sudden bout of shyness, quietness and self induced reclusive behavior was worrisome.

The two friends sat at a side table in the kitchen with hot chocolate and chocolate cake. Harry took small bites as if indulging in a particularly decadent dessert. While Peter stabbed his piece of cake with a fork a number times before Harry finally asked, "What's wrong, Pete?"

Peter toyed with the cake a bit longer before he stopped, blushed and shook his head.

A knot tied itself within Harry's gut and the teen tried to reach out to his friend again, "We're mates, yeah?" Peter nodded, but couldn't seem to look Harry in the eyes and Harry's worries multiplied. Drawing on his occlumency, Harry remained passive and calm. "You can talk to me about anything, Peter."

"I can't." Peter dropped his fork, covered his face with his hands - chocolate cake forgotten - as the boy's shoulders slumped in defeat. "It's too embarrassing."

"Did someone do something to you?"

"Do something?" Peter stiffened.

"You know… hurt you… or something?"

"Kinda." Peter's words were somewhat muffled, but Harry was sitting forward straining to hear what was said and unsaid.

"Kinda… how?"

"Well, she likes someone else."

That wasn't the reply Harry expected. He sat in astounded silence. Peter had an unrequited crush. Harry was ashamed to admit it, but he was relieved and very happy to be wrong. Harry relied even heavier on his occlumency to hide his relief. Instead, Harry allowed his empathy to show. "That sucks. Maybe it isn't serious?"

"Nah," Peter picked up his fork again and pressed it against the cake, watching it ooze between the tines. "She won't ever like me."

"Then you're too good for her. If she can't see what a quality catch you are, you don't need her. You're a decent bloke, funny, smart and have best friends that are always here for you."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew who she was." Peter finally grinned a bit sadly at Harry. The boy leaned his head on a propped up hand, watching the house elves move busily around the kitchen. "Hell, I didn't even realize how much I liked her until I saw her with someone else. Kinda hurts the heart, but it's not her fault. It isn't like I said something to her."

"Well I'm here if you want to talk."

Now Peter laughed, "Nope."

"What? Why? You're one of my best friends, why wouldn't I be here for you?"

"Mine."

Harry blinked. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Peter finally pushed his plate of mutilated chocolate cake away from him and took a long sip of his hot chocolate. "How do I talk to you about your sister? That's just awkward. Especially as her boyfriend is our best friend."

"We just need to find you a worthy girlfriend." Harry said with conviction and Peter snorted in his cup. "Soon you and I are going to be the only ones not dating."

"Sirius isn't dating."

"He has his eye on some fifth year bird in Hufflepuff."

"That one he moaned about in bed the other night?"

"That's the one." Harry laughed and nodded, "We need to remind him of silencing charms if he's going to wank in bed."

"So Sirius and the Huff, Remus and Mine. James doesn't have Lily."

"Yet." Harry agreed, "but it is only a matter of time. We know he's got it bad for her and ever since that incident with Sev, she's been more receptive of Bambi."

Peter groaned, "We need girlfriends."

Sirius had disappeared again. The rest of the friends were in the common room: Hermione, Remus and Lily sat around a table doing their essays, Harry was sprawled over a chair, one leg hanging over an arm and Peter was lying on his back contemplating the fire as James came back in, plopped on the rug in front of the hearth and laid his head on Peter's stomach. Peter poked his forehead, "Well?"

"He's in the broom closet, fifth floor with a bird from Ravenclaw."

Lily's quill paused. She looked up from her essay, clearly confused, "How can you know that?"

"It's a guy thing. Some things are best not asked." Hermione waved it off and went back to her own essay.

Remus tried hard not to laugh, but Harry snorted catching Lily's attention. Harry waved her off as well, "Male secrets, can't tell… it's in the code."

"Code?" Lily was even more intrigued now. Hermione shot Harry an irritated look, knowing the other girl wouldn't let up on the questions now, "What code?"

"The man code, of course," Harry gave her a look of incredulous. "And don't bother asking because you're not male so you can't know and no even my sister doesn't know because none of us here are willing to give up the man card."

"What card? Card or code?" Flailing, Lily was about to ask another question.

"The man card has the man code on it." Harry looked at Lily as if she were daft. Lily in turn looked even more confused.

Hermione held up her hand to still her, "Boys. There is no understanding them, why would you even try?" Hermione held up three fingers to count off, "They're great for three things: snuggling, snogging and opening particularly difficult jars or bottles."

"Noooooooooo!" Harry groaned covering his ears. "I don't want to hear those things from my sister! Remus! You're no longer allowed to date her."

"Too late, Bolt. I'm all hers." Remus grinned sheepishly when Hermione smiled at him.

"Okay, that's it. I think I'm going to be sick." Harry made gagging noises as Hermione leaned across the table to give Remus a kiss.

Peter pushed James off his stomach and hopped off the floor. "Come on, Bolt. Let's get you some air." Harry stumbled off the chair and the two boys scurried out of the portrait hole.

Ignoring the approaching curfew, the two teens walked around the halls on the seventh floor. They walked in a companionable silence until Peter finally spoke in a small voice, as if afraid to break the peace, "Thanks."

"That's what friends are for, Peter." Harry nudged him playfully with his elbow and stopped to look down a corridor that was unfamiliar. "Have we ever gone down this hall before?"

The two looked both ways along the hallway and Peter shrugged, "we've been through so much of the castle lately that it's all looking the same."

Harry motioned his friend over and pointed to the tapestry before him. "Sure, but I think I'd remember something like that."

"That's funny." Peter giggled at the wizard trying desperately to teach a group of trolls to dance. Each of the trolls wore pink ballerina gear while the wizard did his best not to get stomped on. The whole scene was a poignant disaster in motion. "It'd be funnier if he wore a tutu, too."

"Meow."

The two teens stopped and stared at the cat. Harry was sorely tempted to kick the blasted feline, but he knew if he tried it would result in worse detention. "We have to hide."

"Why don't we have the map?"

Harry began pacing frantically. Why didn't they go somewhere they were familiar with? A hidden room would be ideal right now. Some place to hide and not be found. "Think, Peter. Are there any secret rooms, alcoves, tunnels… anything here?"

"What's in that room?"

"What room?"

"That one," Peter grabbed the door and pulled it open to find a large cavernous room filled with books, broken chairs and other items farther back than they could see.

"What have you found?" Filch's gravelly voice grew louder, "Students out after curfew?"

Harry grabbed Peter's arm and pulled him in the room, allowing the door to close behind them. They ran down one of the paths and took a left only to run a bit further before taking the path to the right. Harry slowed when he realized they were probably good and lost, but, more importantly, they weren't followed.

Cocking his head to the side, Harry frowned in concentration. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Peter looked around confused and Harry moved slowly as an odd hum called to him.

Grimacing, Harry rubbed his forehead and looked around frantically. His mind reeled and he found he was standing before a round, wooden table filled with items. The pain throbbed in his head, an old familiar ache that he hadn't missed in the least since coming to this new timeline. With a shaking hand, Harry moved things on the table. His hand twitched as he held it over a tiara that had been hidden under a torn green curtain.

The gold piece of jewelry wasn't animated, it simply sat there with its intricate patterns and nestled jems. Yet as Harry stared at the tiara, he felt as if the tiara was somehow staring back at him. He could feel the dark magic surrounding it and winced. With a calming breath he pressed down on his emotions and compartmentalized quickly.

Using the torn curtain, Harry wrapped the tiara and sighed. The pain was blinding and his eyes stung, but he grinned at Peter and motioned for him to lead the way. He tried to keep his voice light, but Harry wasn't sure if Peter was buying it. Harry was frantic to get this to Dumbledore, but it was after curfew and they didn't take the map. "Something Dumbledore was looking for. Who knew we'd stumble on it here. You can head back to the common room or walk me to his office if you like."

"And see Fawkes?"

"If he's not asleep or out flying, I'm sure you could visit him."

The two teens walked back the way they came in, or at least the way they believed they ran in. They only got turned around a few times before they found the door.

Peter opened the door and poked his head out. He looked both ways before he looked at Harry expectantly. "It can't wait until tomorrow?"

"No, I need to get this to him tonight. I'll be okay if you wanna head back. Just watch for Mrs. Norris. You don't want to get eaten!"

Rolling his eyes, Petter scoffed and changed immediately. Harry watched the rat scurry away.

Harry braced himself. This thing he held was beating on his senses and it took a lot out of him just to hold it. The teen took hold of his wand and disillusioned himself. Making his way down to the Headmaster's office after curfew was always a risky adventure, but this time it was worth any detention he may get. Harry wisely refused to wear the tiara and disillusioned the curtain wrapped around the jeweled piece.

"Ice Mice," Harry didn't bother pausing. As soon as the gargoyle hopped aside, Harry scrambled in and made his way up the moving staircase. He quickly knocked on the door and was utterly relieved when the familiar voice within called out to him.

"Enter." Dumbledore looked surprised when Harry quickly moved inside and closed the door behind him. The headmaster even stood when a disillusioned Harry cast muffliato at the man's office door. "Is there a problem?"

Harry dropped the disillusionment and thrust out the tiara with one hand, pulling the torn green curtain with the other. "I found something."

Dumbledore was motionless for a moment, took his wand and levitated the offered item to set it on his desk. "Do you know what you found?"

"A tiara and it feels all wrong." Harry dropped into a chair with a relieved sigh. "I'm not sure what is wrong with that thing but it feels… dark… evil."

"This is Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem." Dumbledore sat behind his desk, not touching or going near the diadem. "Until now, it was considered the Lost Diadem of Ravenclaw."

"There is a room on the seventh floor that I had never seen before. Peter and I were out walking and saw a tapestry of dancing trolls and a wizard-"

"That would be Barnabas the Barmy."

Harry grinned, "Suitable name. The room was enormous and full of things, mostly broken or torn." He raised the torn curtain piece still in his hand as evidence. "We were erm, well hiding from Filch and I heard something… a low hum. It lead me to the diadem."

The headmaster was quiet for a while, both men lost in thought, staring at the newly found treasure. Dumbledore appeared to be nonchalant but the usual twinkle in his blue eyes was missing when he suddenly asked, "Have I ever mentioned a Horcrux to you before?"

Harry noted the difference in the headmaster's usual demeanor, sat up, gripped the arms of the chair and shook his head slowly, "No, sir. And if your grave attitude towards the subject is anything to go by, I'm sure I won't like them."

The teen's response caught the man a tad off guard and he chuckled softly. "Quite right, Harry. A Horcrux is a nasty bit of dark magic. This isn't your usual dark magic, this is the darkest imaginable." Dumbledore steepled his fingers before him as his mind drifted. "I believe Tom's diary is one such item.

"You see, a Horcrux is a vessel, a container of sorts in which a person has concealed part of their soul." Dumbledore watched as Harry hung onto every word. "One would perform a spell, tear their soul and place that torn piece within the object."

"Tear their soul?"

"Hmm, to tear one's soul one must do an act against nature. By an act of evil - the supreme act of evil - committing murder. Killing, you see, rips the soul apart. A wizard that was intent upon creating a Horcrux would use the damage that the murder creates and encase the torn portion within an object, thereby creating a way to remain immortal."

"I think I'd rather die." Harry shuddered, "So the Tom I met was part of his soul. The diary was a Horcrux, the death was Moaning Myrtle." The teen suddenly grew quite grave, "When I stabbed the diary with the basilisk fang, it... Tom died. Does that mean I've… I killed him?"

"Oh no Harry, you had only released the trapped portion of the soul." Dumbledore was quick to reassure Harry. Harry visibly relaxed. "That is how he survived after your first encounter with him as a toddler; that is how he survived your second encounter your first year here…"

"So if we can get our hands on that diary and destroy it again, Voldemort could be killed?"

"Yes, I believe so. Without his Horcrux, Voldemort will be a mortal man with a maimed and diminished soul. Never forget, though, that while his soul may be damaged beyond repair, his brain and his magical power remain intact. It will take uncommon skill and power to kill a wizard like Voldemort, even without his Horcrux."

"You almost sound convinced."

"My concern now lies within Voldemort's fear of death. How many did he make? He was enraptured in the world of magic. Would one be enough?" Dumbledore sat back, lost in thought.

"One is frightening enough. I can't imagine more, but if he did have more and we didn't know about it. He'd still survive. How can we find out how many he had?"

"That is a good question and one I need to find an answer for."

Harry peered at Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem and shuddered, "You believe the diadem is a Horcrux."

Dumbledore gave him a small, almost non-existent nod, "Indeed, I do."

A/N Elipsa: As an answer to a guest OOO, the very first chapter was the one-shot that AJ wrote. That was when I was like: 'Can we keep going' and that's where the rest of the story came to life.