A/N: Heeeeeeeeeeeey… here we are again… God, real life keeps me busy right now, but I hope, you're still enjoying our "little" story here! And we're – as always – really happy about your feedback. We really appreciate your opinions, and we just hope, you go on reviewing and letting us know whether you like what we're doing or not… things are getting more and more serious, but we promise, it's gonna get better again at some point! :-)
Enjoy Chapter 36!
Jackson Avery & Alex Karev POV:
When Owen had left Jackson felt his stomach turn into knots. This was exactly what Jackson worried about whenever Mark mentioned anything about going public.
There would be whispers and ramifications and things that Jackson was in no way close to knowing how to deal with. Turning around he looked at Mark and the man could see the worry in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Jackson" Mark said as he walked over to him and wrapped his arms around the man's waist "I should've been smarter and waited until we were alone. I'm going to make sure that any fallout is all on me, okay?"
"No" Jackson told him "it's we at all times. We're in this together" and placing his own hands around Mark's neck he placed his forehead on the man's shoulder "let's just not do anymore public displays anytime soon, huh?"
"Deal" Mark kissed the side of his head "We're still on for tonight?"
"Of course" Jackson said as he looked at Mark and smiled "I wouldn't miss it for the world"
For the first time in longer then he cared to remember Jackson felt like he and Mark had finally started to find the right path and things could be okay after all.
"I have to get back to the pit" Jackson said with a quick kiss to Mark "Alex has to be getting swamped"
"Okay, I'll see you tonight" and with that Jackson turned and left the office.
His mood was remarkably better than it was this morning and it showed in the way he smiled as he entered the pit and saw Alex talking to a patient.
Looking over Alex appeared annoyed "About time" he said "I was starting to think you forgot we both have to do this"
"Sorry" Jackson responded sheepishly as he headed for a petite woman with red hair and a nasty welt on her cheek.
The rest of the afternoon passed pretty uneventfully as he and Alex took in one patient after another, but luck was on their side since not a single one had anything severe enough to call for surgery.
Jackson would have continued that train of thought if not, twenty minutes before the end of their shift, a man came in with a broken arm and busted lip.
Not only did Jackson recognize him instantly, so did Alex.
"I got him" Jackson said urgently, abandoning the middle-aged woman complaining of a sore ankle.
"No" Alex responded looking at Jackson "deal with your patient" and the look Alex had given him had told Jackson that he was going to use this opportunity for all it was worth.
Jackson felt like he was going to be sick.
Approaching the man Alex gave him a friendly smile "Gary, isn't it?"
The man looked at Alex, confused "Yeah...do I know you?"
"We've met" Alex told him as he wrote his first name on the chart "I believe you know my friend over there" and pointing at Jackson he saw Gary's face light up.
"Jackson" Gary said brightly and tried to raise his hand to wave, but the pain made it impossible. Jackson gave a small, but worried smile and stepping in between the two Alex cut off their field of vision.
"So, Gary" Alex said "do you have a last name?"
"Stiles"
"How do you know our Jackson?"
Gary seemed affable enough not to catch onto Alex's obvious attempt at digging for information. "We met at that club downtown – The Rooftop"
Alex had heard about it and if his memory had recalled correctly he and Izzie had tried to get go there on one of their first dates, but were quickly turned away.
Well, she wasn't, but Alex was. He was not a fan of that place.
"What brings you here today?" Alex asked "that arm looks pretty painful"
"It is" Gary told him "I think it may be broken"
Grabbing the arm lightly Alex moved it gently and the sharp yelp of pain the man let out told Alex that this Gary was probably right.
If it wasn't broken it was most definitely fractured.
"How did it happen?" Alex asked.
"Is that important?" Gary retorted.
"If we know how it was injured it would be better for us just to focus on that area of the arm" Alex said "makes everything go quicker"
"You know, I think I'll just wait for Jackson" Gary told him and Alex could see the suspicion in the man's eyes
"See Gary, that's not going to work" Alex said "because once Jackson is finished with his patient he's going home and after I finish with you I'm going home, so how about you do us all a favour and just answer the question?"
Gary sneered at him "I tripped and in trying to catch myself I landed on my arm wrong"
It was a lie. Alex knew it and Gary knew it, but Alex had no way of calling him on it.
Fuck it. Honesty was never something Alex shied away from.
"Let's stop pretending I don't know what a broken arm and split lip looks like when it's the result of an ass-kicking" Alex whispered "I've had my fair share of them."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about knowing how… and why… you got that ass kicking" Alex told him "You think I couldn't tell you and Jackson were drugged out of your minds the other night?"
"I'm an attorney at one of the best law firms in the city and Jackson appears to be a pretty good doctor, so what you're suggesting is nothing short of slander"
"Call it what you want, but if I ever hear or see you around him again I'm going to make that broken arm feel like a love tap. Got it?" Alex said and his tone let Gary Stiles know he wasn't fucking around.
"Got it" Gary repeated...his voice shaking slightly "now would you mind fixing this?" he added as he held his arm up.
"With pleasure" Alex said and turning around Alex could see Jackson looking at him and Gary with a look of worry and curiosity on his face. Smiling at Jackson Alex played it off as if Gary and Alex weren't just threatening one another.
"Okay, I'm going to send you for an X-Ray and then we'll get you all bandaged up" Alex said as he motioned for Gary to stand and gave him a slip of paper to take to the nurse that was standing at the exit.
Once Gary was gone Jackson came rushing over "What was that?"
"What was what?" Alex asked innocently.
"Stop bullshitting me Alex, what did you two talk about?"
"He has a broken arm and I sent him for an X-Ray, that's all"
Of course Jackson wouldn't believe him, but without Gary to say otherwise he had no choice.
"It's been a long day so I'm heading out" Alex said "see you tomorrow, Jackson"
Jackson watched Alex leave and the fear he was left with was bone deep.
Mark Sloan POV:
Mark was really looking forward to his date with Jackson. To Jackson coming over and he hoped he would spend the night with him. They hadn't really had a chance to talk about their plans for the night, but Mark had prepared dinner for them - lasagna - and it was about to get ready, so he hoped, Jackson would arrive soon.
He had already set up the table and even lighted a candle in the middle of it and he hoped that everything would go well. That they would - for once - have a nice evening together without all the stress and fighting of the last couple of weeks. He couldn't take that anymore and he just wanted to enjoy his time with Jackson.
When he heard a buzzing sound he hurried to the oven and took out the lasagna with his oven gloves, placing it on the counter.
Almost the same minute he heard a knock at the door, feeling a smile cross his lips. God, he was so happy right now. The thoughts of Owen were locked away in the depth of his mind and he didn't want to change that. Not for tonight. It had been already bad enough and he was glad Jackson hadn't been mad at him.
It was entirely his fault and if they couldn't work things out... if they couldn't prove Owen that they could work together despite being a couple, he would take the blame completely. He would leave, if necessary. That was way more important to him than losing Jackson. Seattle Grace Mercy West was just a job. He could find another one. He was a surgeon with a name and a lot of other hospitals would take him in a heartbeat.
Jackson on the other hand was his life. He meant the world to him and he would do everything to keep this relationship.
Hearing another knock, he rushed to the door, literally tearing it open and looking at Jackson.
"Sorry... I'm sorry... I just..." he breathed out, pointing to the lasagna. "I just took out the lasagna I made... and I hope you're hungry..."
A smile appeared on Jackson's lips. "Yeah... I'm really hungry..." He stepped in, and Mark - gentlemen-like - took his jacket from him and hung it onto the hook in the hallway, before guiding Jackson into the living room.
"Wow..." he heard Jackson say, pointing at the set table. "You're quite a romantic..."
"You should already know that..." Mark grinned, hugging Jackson and pulling him very close. "I'm so glad you're here... I was really looking forward to seeing you."
"Me too," Jackson gave back, looping his arms around Mark's neck.
"I... I'm really sorry about all the trouble I caused with Hunt... and you can see the dinner as something to make up for it..." Mark said earnestly.
Jackson shook his head. "Oh come on... we've talked about this already and it's okay... really... we just have to prove Hunt that we can do it... that we are professional enough to separate private life and job..."
"I'm sure we can do this..." Mark replied, leaning down and capturing Jackson's lips in a gentle kiss, before letting go of him.
"Sit down... And I'll take care of the lasagna..."
"I can help you..." Jackson offered, causing Mark to shake his head.
"No... I wanna do this... This is my treat..." He smiled, feeling like all their problems of the past couple of days and weeks have vanished, even though he knew they hadn't... but for tonight he wanted to believe that they could overcome everything.
He watched Jackson sitting down and then took a knife to cut the lasagna in pieces and put a big slice of it on a plate and a smaller one on another. The smaller one was for him, because he wasn't thishungry, but he hoped, Jackson would like his food. It had been a while since he had cooked for him.
When he turned around he noticed Jackson looking away, seeming slightly distant. Like he was deep in his thoughts.
Taking the two plates he moved towards the table and Jackson didn't even look up when he stopped staring down at him.
"Jackson?" Mark asked, causing Jackson to twitch.
"Yeah?"
"You alright?" Mark wanted to know, placing the plate in front of him and the other one at the other side of the table.
"Yeah... sure..." Jackson replied, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "It's just... a lot has happened today... and I was just thinking about everything..."
"Okay..." Mark replied, being way too afraid to say anything more. He didn't want to destroy another evening between them. And he didn't want to push Jackson telling him anything he didn't want to tell. He sat down on his chair, smiling at Jackson.
"I hope, you'll like the lasagna... it's Callie's recipe and I hope, I did everything right..." He laughed nervously. "But I doubt it will be as good as Callie's..."
He watched Jackson cutting off a bite and putting it on his fork, too nervous to eat himself.
"Wow... it's... absolutely awful..." Jackson said with a serious look on his face, causing Mark to stare at him in shock.
"Really?" he asked, feeling really disappointed, but then Jackson let out a chuckle.
"No, you idiot!" Jackson shook his head. "It's absolutely delicious, okay?" He stood up and rounded the table, sitting down on Mark's lap. "I really love it... and I can't believe Callie could make it that much better..."
"That was mean..." Mark said, still letting out a relieved sigh. "But I'm really happy you like it..." He slapped Jackson on the ass once he shoved him off his lap. "And now get back to your chair and eat before it gets cold."
"I will..." Jackson said, leaning down and looking Mark deeply in the eye. "But not before I did that..." And with those words he crossed the distance and kissed Mark passionately.
"Thank you..." he said once they broke apart. "Thank you for the evening... thank you for the lasagna and everything..."
"No, thank you... I hope we can really enjoy this evening... just the two of us..." Mark replied.
"I'm sure we will..." Jackson assured him, before sitting down and grabbing his fork again.
When Mark grabbed his own and tasted his lasagna he had to admit that it really was good. Better than he expected, and he was really glad he managed to pull it off. He would have to thank Callie for the recipe later.
They enjoyed their meal in comfortable silence and afterwards, Mark put the plates and the cutlery into the dishwasher.
Jackson wanted to help him again, but again Mark wouldn't let him. Instead he told him to choose a movie to watch and when Mark joined him on the couch Jackson had already put in a DVD.
"What did you choose?" he asked curiously, placing a hand on the back rest of the couch and feeling Jackson cuddling close to him.
"Surprise..." Jackson smiled and turned on the TV, and then the movie started.
It was the movie "Last Samurai", a movie Mark hadn't seen in a while and that he really, really liked.
They were halfway into the movie when Mark noticed that Jackson was absent again. That he didn't pay any close attention to the movie at all.
"What's wrong, babe?" he asked into the silence, causing Jackson to straighten up and look at him.
"Nothing... really... I just feel somehow... I don't know..." Jackson sighed. "Agitated... Anxious... and I can't even say why..."
He was telling the truth, Mark could tell, and he wanted to help him, but he just didn't know how.
"Turn around..." Mark said, pausing the movie.
"Why?" Jackson asked, tilting his head.
"Trust me..." Mark replied gently, waiting for Jackson to turn his back on him before he grabbed the hem of his shirt.
"Mark?"
"Lift your arms..." he requested and after a couple of seconds Jackson complied and Mark pulled off his shirt, placing his hands on both of Jackson's shoulders and starting to massage them.
"Just relax, baby... I'm gonna take good care of you..." Mark said, placing soft kisses at the back of Jackson's neck. "I'm gonna make you feel better... so much better..." he promised, hoping he could keep his promise. He didn't know what exactly it was that made Jackson so uneasy, didn't know what was on his mind, but no matter what it was, Mark just hoped, he could help him to isolate everything from him. At least for that moment.
Jackson Avery & Alex Karev POV:
Jackson was trying to will himself to calm down. Mark had worked so hard on this night and the last thing Jackson wanted to do was ruin it.
Still, the look that Alex had given him after talking to Gary had made him nervous. It was obvious that Alex had lied and now all Jackson could do was worry about exactly how much the man knew.
"You're so tense" Mark said as he rubbed a knot out of Jackson's shoulder "everything okay?"
"Yeah" Jackson told him as he looked up at Mark "a week of the pit is strenuous"
Mark shook his head and to Jackson it looked like he believed it. "Try and forget it" Mark said "tomorrow is your last day then it's back to plastics full time"
"Right" Jackson agreed with Mark. After tomorrow he could get back to his routine and he wouldn't have Alex trying to dig into his life anymore.
Closing his eyes Jackson leaned back and worked on controlling his breathing "This is nice" he whispered and felt Mark put more pressure on his back.
Something was still wrong, though. Jackson felt uneven and looking down he felt his hand start to shake slightly. He was looking at it when he felt his cell phone vibrate.
Jumping up Jackson reached into his pocket and pulled it out
Gary
"
I'll be right back" Jackson said as he walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
"Gary?" Jackson asked "I've been trying to call you, man"
"I know" Gary replied "it's just your friend seems pretty...intense"
Damn it. Jackson knew Alex had said something "Don't worry about him" he told Gary "the guy just has a lot of his own issues he's dealing with right now. Look, can I meet you somewhere?"
Gary seemed to pause for a moment "Sure. Just meet me at the club"
"Great, I'll be there in 20 minutes" and with that Jackson hung up and stuffed his phone back in his pocket. Standing in the bathroom he worried about what he would say to Mark. He felt like crap for bailing on this night after looking forward to it all day, but Jackson knew that if he didn't get something to put him back on an even keel the night would only get worse.
Walking back into the living room he saw Mark look at him "Everything okay?"
"Yeah" Jackson said in a rushed tone as he walked over to the couch and picked up his shirt "That was April" he lied "seems that she needs something from the apartment and she's feeling too nauseous to drive herself". Putting on his shirt he shook it loose and smoothed out the front.
'Why don't I go with you?" Mark offered as he went to grab his jacket.
"No" Jackson said quickly "I… I'm going to make it quick and I need to have something to come back to" he smiled as he walked over and kissed Mark.
"Okay" Mark told "just don't take too long"
"I won't" Jackson said "I love you"
"Love you too"
Opening the door Jackson left the apartment and headed down to his car before he let the guilt of lying to Mark stop him from going.
Alex stood across the street from the club that Gary had mentioned earlier. Lewis was parking the car as Alex scanned the crowd looking for Jackson.
Since Alex hadn't got a phone call from Jackson cursing him out the man knew he was going to at least try and see Gary in person.
It killed Alex to know what Jackson was doing and he was completely serious in his declaration to stop the man from destroying his life.
Alex caught sight of a man pushing his way through the crowd as he walked up to the bouncer. Alex recognized the shirt as the one Jackson had been wearing earlier in the day and seeing the bouncer smile at Jackson before stepping aside to let him in only made Alex feel a little jealous.
"Why are we here again?" Lewis asked Alex as he walked up to him.
"Remember I talked about us seeing that big world together? Well, this is it" Alex told him.
"But I hate these kinds of places. Loud noises and obnoxious music and having to dress like this" Lewis said as he pointed at his own outfit. Leather jacket, lime green shirt, black pants with matching black loafers.
Turning around Alex looked at the outfit he all but forced Lewis in. He was hardly a fashion expert, but seeing as how the outfit made Alex want to fuck the man the minute he saw Lewis in it was a good sign.
"You look amazing" Alex said as he pulled Lewis to him and gave him a long kiss "now let me go show you off"
That got a laugh out of Lewis and grabbing his hand he lead the man across the street. Walking up to the door he and Lewis squeezed through a crowd that seemed to be embarrassingly determined to get in.
"Dude!" Alex shouted and getting the bouncers attention he looked at Alex and Alex could tell he was about to say no until he pulled Lewis close.
The bouncer gave a small smile and pulling them up to the door he let Lewis in and then stopping Alex as the man was about to enter the bouncer gave him a wink "Good Job"
Alex tried to ignore the sense of pride that welled up in his chest.
The moment they entered Lewis said he was going to need a drink if he was being forced to spend the night in that place. Making their way to the bar Lewis raised his hand for the bartender the exact moment Alex caught sight of Jackson walking to a back room with Gary.
"Hey, I'm going to hit the head" Alex said to Lewis "order me something". After seeing Lewis nod his understanding he took the path he had just seen Jackson take.
After managing to get through the crowd Alex finally made it into the back room and was surprised to see how decent it looked. A couch, television and a stock of liquor that sat off to the side. It almost looked like it's own miniature bar.
"What the hell?" Jackson said angrily.
Alex returned his focus to the two other people in the room "Gary" he smiled "I thought we talked about this earlier"
With his arm in a sling Gary gave Alex an angry stare.
"Go away, Alex" Jackson said as he walked up to him "go back home to Lewis"
"No" Alex told him "I'm worried about you and I'm not going to let this jag off help you destroy yourself"
"Are you serious, Alex?" Jackson laughed "I wasn't aware you took the White Knight course, but I don't need one so kindly fuck off"
"Really" Alex said and reaching into Jackson's pocket he pulled out a small baggie filled with white pills. The urgency on Jackson's face spoke volumes.
Gary walked up to Jackson and Alex "What is your damage, guy?" he asked Alex "do you want to fuck Jackson or something?"
"No" Jackson said as he snatched the pills out of Alex's hands "he's just trying to make himself feel better after abandoning his pregnant girlfriend"
That had hurt Alex, but the man did his best not to let it get to him. He knew Jackson was just scared and angry.
"What's going on here?" Lewis asked "I can hear you two arguing through the door"
Turning towards the man Jackson quickly stuffed the bag in his pocket before Lewis could see it.
"What are you doing here, Jackson?" but his brother only turned his gaze away from him.
"Alex?" Lewis asked "somebody needs to tell me something"
Lewis Avery POV:
Lewis wasn't stupid. When Alex had told him he had to go to the bathroom, he could tell that Alex was tense. And that he was lying. Sometimes he really hated the fact that he could read people like that, but of course he couldn't let it go with that.
For this reason he followed Alex with his eyes and saw him vanishing through a backdoor. There had to be some kind of backroom or something like that there.
Lewis decided to wait for a little while, hoping Alex would be back any minute, but after he didn't reappear he slid from the bar stool and made his way towards the room, already hearing loud voiced shouting at each other. Voices he recognized immediately as Alex' and Jackson's. What the fuck was Jackson doing here?
It took him a moment to be able to react, because the shock on his face must have been obvious. Of all people in the world he hadn't expected to meet Jackson here. Or was this all a set-up? Did Alex bring him here to meet Jackson? Was Alex still trying to make them talk?
A sigh left Lewis' lips. Only one way to find out.
He entered the room only to see Alex standing in front of Jackson and looking all but happy.
"What's going on here?" Lewis demanded to know "I can hear you two arguing through the door"
He turned his head towards his little brother just in time to see him putting something in his pocket, even though he couldn't see what it was.
"What are you doing here, Jackson?" he asked but never got an answer. Instead, Jackson just turned away from him, grabbing his jacket that was placed on the couch behind him.
"Alex?" Lewis turned his attention back to his boyfriend - or whatever he wanted to call Alex. "Somebody needs to tell me something. What's going on here?"
Alex' shoulders sank down when he looked at Lewis. "Nothing... he replied. I just..." he gestured with his hands and Lewis could tell that he was about to fabricate some kind of excuse that would get him out of this situation.
"Don't lie to me, Alex... you know how much I hate lies..." Lewis shook his head. "What's going on between you two? Did you only bring me here because you knew Jackson was here?"
"I... I... Lewis it's not what it looks like!" Alex tried to convince him, but Lewis didn't really believe him.
"Oh really? To me it looks like another of your tries to make me and Jackson talking, but it won't work that way, okay?" Lewis replied angrily.
"Then it's exactly what it looks like, and I'm sorry..." Alex said, looking at Jackson who was just getting into his jacket. "I really can't be in the middle of this fight..."
Lewis took a step back when Alex tried to touch him.
"No one forces you to..." he said immediately. "If you don't wanna be with me anymore, just say it..."
"That's not what I meant, Lewis..." Alex voice sounded almost desperate, and he seemed really upset.
"I think you two should talk this over without me... I'm gonna leave..." Jackson said and tried to make his way past Lewis, but Lewis grabbed his arm before he could leave.
"Not so fast, little brother..."
"Now I'm your little brother again?" Jackson laughed sarcastically. "Let go of me... I need to get back to Mark..."
"Don't think I don't know what you're capable of..." He looked around in the room. "I know you, Jackie, and I think we should talk... in private... unless you want someone else to find out some certain things I'm sure you don't want them to find out..."
Jackson twitched. "Stop blackmailing me..."
"I'm not blackmailing you; it's just a well meant advice." Lewis let go of Jackson's arm and looked him directly in the eye. "Come to my office tomorrow, I really think we need to discuss some things..." Lewis said in a warning tone, and watched Jackson leave without even giving him an answer, but he was sure his little brother didn't want anyone to find out about his drug career back then.
Lewis wasn't stupid and he knew something here was totally off. Especially by looking at the other guy in the room, who looked like a typical drug dealer. He just hoped he was wrong. He hoped, Jackson wasn't using again. But he could connect the dots and this club was exactly where Jackson would have gone back in the days.
"And now let's get back to you, Alex..." he said, turning his attention back towards Alex who was still standing in the middle of the room, looking even more upset than before. "But first let's get out of here. I don't like an audience overhearing my private conversations." he pointed towards Gary, before taking Alex' hand and pulling him out of the room and finally out of the club.
Fresh air. That felt good and was exactly what Lewis needed right now.
"What was that all about, Alex? Why did you even bring me here? You knew Jackson would be there, right?" he asked, feeling anger bubbling up within him again, because he felt so betrayed in this moment.
"Lewis... I'm... I'm sorry, I just..." Alex started, but Lewis cut him off.
"You just what? Thought you can fix things between us? I already told you, you can't..." Lewis replied harshly. "You have no idea what you're dealing with here, Alex... and you have no idea what you're getting into... so stay out of it... it's none of your business."
"When it comes to you and Jackson it ismy fucking business..." Alex replied without hesitation. "Don't you get it? I'm already in the middle of whatever it is going on between the two of you. It's too late for me to turn around... and in all earnesty: I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself... and I won't look away if the people I love are in pain... or hurting..."
Lewis let out a desperate sigh. "Okay... I get it... but this is... this is too much for you..."
"Why? Why do you think you have to protect me? And from what do you think you have to protect me?" Alex asked back, putting Lewis into a tight spot with those questions.
He knew so much more about Jackson's past than Alex could probably handle and he definitely wouldn't tell Alex anything until he was sure. Until he had proof that he was right. Maybe he was wrong after all. That was a hope Lewis was clinging to right now. Jackson was cleverer than that. Jackson was stronger than that. He just wasn't using again. It couldn't be. Lewis wasn't able to protect him from anything the first time, but he would never forgive himself if it happened again and he just stood by watching. He hated himself for letting anything bad happen to his baby brother, just because of his jealousy. He should have protected him as his older brother. He should have been there for him, but the hate and the jealousy had consumed him completely. He should have seen it coming.
"Alex... you don't know Jackson the way I do... I can't stand to see you getting hurt..." Lewis replied, without giving away anything.
"But Jackson is one of my best friends... I can't just stand there and watch him drown in his pain..." Alex said.
Lewis moved closer to him and pulled him into his arms. "I know... but you can't help him if he doesn't want any help..." he commented, knowing that it was a fact. If Jackson didn't wanna be helped there was no way Alex or anyone else was able to do so. He had been through this and he was afraid Jackson would repeat all the mistakes he had made the first time, and he - again - would just stand on the sideline doing nothing. God, he hoped he was wrong. That Jackson would come to his office tomorrow and tell him that he was okay, and for him to actually believing it.
Jackson Avery POV:
It had taken longer than expected for Jackson to get back to Mark's apartment. The argument with Alex and Lewis was still playing in his head as he held the bottle of wine he had picked up to show his apology.
He had no idea what he was going to do. Alex had found the pills and was probably telling Lewis everything right now, which meant his brother had won.
He would go to Hunt tomorrow and tell the man everything and whether Jackson admitted to it or not Hunt would demand a drug test and Jackson had no way of flushing it out of his system by then.
They were only stupid pills that made Jackson capable of getting rid of the stress that was caused by Lewis and now his brother was going to use that to get Jackson fired.
Jackson had long since given up the idea of fairness a long time ago, but didn't he deserve at a least a little something that he could call his?
Opening the door Jackson walked in "Hey Mark" he said expecting to see the man sitting on the couch watching television.
Instead, what he got was everything put away, the television off, and Mark nowhere to be seen.
Fuck, Jackson had ruined the evening.
Walking over to Mark's wine cabinet Jackson opened it up and put the bottle inside. Once done he made his way to the man's bedroom and opened up the door.
He didn't know what to expect. The man was probably angry and in all honesty he had every right to be.
Preparing for the worst Jackson was surprised to see Mark had fallen asleep. Still fully clothed and even wearing his shoes. Jackson approached him and went about taking off the man's shoes and then seeing how deep Mark was sleeping Jackson was able to remove his pants. Leaving him in just a shirt and boxers.
Once Jackson was finished with Mark he toed out of his own shoes and undid his pants to let them fall to the ground before stepping out of them. Easing his way onto the bed Jackson saddled up behind Mark to spoon him. Wrapping his arms around the man's waist Jackson gave a small kiss to his neck. Mark moved back subconsciously toward Jackson trying to find more of the man's heat.
"I'm so sorry" Jackson whispered in his ear, knowing the man couldn't hear what he said, but needing to talk anyway.
"You put up with so much from me and I don't deserve it. I want to tell you everything, but I know that if I did, if you actually knew the kind of man you were with, you would leave and never look back" Jackson pulled Mark closer "and I guess I'm just too selfish to lose you. I need you too much" he could still hear Mark's breathing remain slow and steady. Although Mark couldn't hear the things Jackson said it still made him feel better for saying it.
Jackson had a restless sleep and he had awoken just as the sun had come up. Deciding to try and make it up to Mark he thought that cooking breakfast was something that he could do.
Mark loved omelettes, so cooking two cheddar cheese ones Jackson made bacon and link sausage to go along with it. Then thinking that maybe the man would appreciate waffles Jackson set about making some using the blueberries in Mark's fridge as a topping.
Jackson had just got done plating the food when Mark walked out into the living room rubbing his eyes.
"What smells so good?" he asked groggily.
Turning around Jackson had set a plate down on the kitchen table and motioned Mark to sit down. Smiling Mark walked over and gave Jackson a kiss on the cheek.
"What happened to you last night?" Mark asked and Jackson felt himself tense up.
"I didn't account for traffic" Jackson said as he made it a point not to look Mark in the eye "but I'm so sorry for messing up everything you did last night"
"It's okay" Mark told him "I'm hoping that was only the one of many nights you spend here" and sitting down Mark took a fork for the omelette and took a bite "damn, this is delicious"
Taking two glasses of orange juice to the table Jackson sat one down in front of Mark and took a drink out of the other one as he sat opposite the man.
"I'm glad you like it" Jackson said. He wondered how his life would be that night. If he lost his job and Mark found out what he had been doing, would the man be so willing to forgive Jackson?
Probably not, so he was going to enjoy every moment he had with the man until the bottom fell out.
Jackson had tried to stay as long as he could, but he knew he didn't have the luxury of calling out. Not when it was his last day in the pit and Jackson was still heading Plastics.
After he showered Mark gave him one of his shirts to wear and a pair of pants that Jackson had left over there on one of his previous visits.
"Call me later, okay?" Mark told him "I have Sofia later so if you want to come by after work I think she would like that"
"I'd like that too" Jackson said as he kissed Mark "I'll talk to you later" and with that Jackson left and tried to steel himself for the day ahead.
Jackson had done a pretty good job of avoiding Alex. Going from one patient to the next he brushed off the man as he asked Jackson to talk.
"This is our last day" Jackson said to Alex "I just want to get it done and over with"
"Come on, man" Alex pleaded "can't you just see I'm trying to help?"
"I didn't ask for your help" Jackson told him "in case you haven't realized, Karev, you've made things a lot more screwed up then they needed to be"
"So it's my fault?" Alex asked indignantly "you're blaming your problemon me?"
"I don't have a problem"
"Obviously" Alex said sarcastically.
"Fuck you Al-" Jackson tried to say before he heard his name being called. Turning around he saw Lewis standing behind him.
"Come on" Lewis said "we need to talk"
"I can't" Jackson responded "it's busy down here".
"I got it" Alex said aloud "don't worry about it." Looking at Alex Jackson gave the man an angry stare.
"Fine" Jackson said as he took off his plastic gloves and threw them in the nearest trash bin. Walking by Lewis he headed out of the pit.
Once the two made it to Lewis' office the man closed the door and went to stand behind his desk.
The two brothers stood on opposite ends of the room and to Jackson it felt like they were a world apart.
"So, are you going to tell me what last night was about?" Lewis asked.
"Alex doesn't know how to mind his business and he seems to have a really messed up hero complex" Jackson said "I think you should talk to him about that"
"This isn't about Alex" Lewis told him "do you honestly think I don't know how you act when you're strung out?"
Jackson didn't let Lewis see the fear he had at the mention of his previous drug use "Is that the new game plan now?" Jackson laughed "you couldn't get Mark to have sex with you so now you're going to say I'm a drug addict?" Jackson shook his head "I have to say I thought you were better then that"
"This has nothing to do with Mark" Lewis said "I'm worried about you"
"Right" Jackson chuckled "I'm sure my well being is right up there on your list. Tell me Lewis, is it before or after the part where you promised to take everything away from me?"
Lewis looked down and away from him and Jackson could almost imagine he saw guilt, but he knew that wasn't the case.
"Jackson...we may have our differences, but you can't honestly think I would want you to start doing that again…"
Folding his arms across his chest Jackson felt like he could almost believe the things Lewis was saying.
"I promise I'm not doing any of that stuff" Jackson said "I learned from my mistakes"
"Have you?"
Jackson balked at the accusatory told "To hell with you Lewis. You and Michael and Alex all tell me what I need to do and you know what? I'm getting tired of it. None of you can say anything to me without putting some sort of vague threat behind it"
"We don't threaten you" Lewis said
"How many times have you or Michael promised to tell Mark something if I didn't do exactly what you wanted?"
"So is that why you're using again?" Lewis asked "because you couldn't handle the pressure?"
"What in the hell do you think this is?" Jackson said angrily "you're not some fucking counsellor who's going to get me to admit to something I'm not doing. Newsflash, Lewis, I can't stand the sight of you and just because you want to suddenly play big brother doesn't mean I have to stand here and help you feel good about yourself"
"That's not what I'm doing" Lewis said as he stood "can't you just think that for a moment I give a damn about you?"
"No" Jackson responded "I stopped believing that a long time ago. Now, if you don't mind, I have a job to do" and he turned around to leave.
"Walk out that door and I go to Hunt" Lewis said and turning around Jackson saw his brother stare him down "Now sit, because I have some things to say"