Chap. 36:

Nine hours later, Lexi is in the mess again, having coffee with Keller.

"Lexi?"

Focusing on Keller, seeing the concern plastered across her face, "ah, sorry, must have drifted there for a sec."

Taking a sip of her coffee and eyeing her carefully, "you okay?"

Shaking her head, "yeah. I'm good, just..."

Smiling, "worried about John and the team."

"Yeah. It's the same every time they go out and it's not just John and his team. Although, more so with them, then with the others."

Nodding, "understandable. It's the same for me, especially now."

"Oh, yeah. How's that going?"

Smirking and shifting uncomfortably, "as well as can be expected. You were right when you said to spend time with them it's definitely helped and I think I might have come to a decision. But I want to give it a little more time."

"Well that's good to hear." and changing the subject, "so, is Dr. Newman going to take the shift tonight?"

Smirk turning into a smile, "yes. He said that he would and that he would stop by when the shift was up."

Smiling wide, "good I'm glad. So what are you gonna wear?"

Laughing, "you know I haven't really given it much thought, yet." and realizing that she hasn't gotten a gift for John, "we weren't supposed to get gifts, right?"

"That's right. No gifts. I don't need him upset that people got him gifts."

Nodding, "I wouldn't be worried about him being angry. I think he'll except this for what it is."

Getting up, "I hope so. Anyway, I'm gonna head back to my quarters and start getting ready."

Getting up as well, but taking a look at her watch, "Lexi, we have an hour and a half. Is it really gonna take you that long?"

"Yes. I take a while, when I don't know what I'm going to wear." she says, half telling the truth as they walk out of the mess.

Chuckling, "okay. I'll see you later, then."

Getting into the transporter, "yeah, see you." she says, as the doors close and as she hits the section on the screen for the crew quarters, a shiver runs up her spine, as the knot in her stomach tightens and she knows that it won't go away until she sees John.

xxxx

Reaching her quarters, she swipes her way in and stops short as John is out cold, fully clothed in his off world BDUs, on the bed, arm draped over his eyes. Sighing, as the knot finally eases, she walks over to the bed and climbing up onto it, she scans him over.

Reaching for his arm, "John?"

After a couple of seconds, she tries again, this time leaning down and kissing him on his lips. This has the desired effect and she smiles as he wraps his arms around her and pulls her down on top of him, kissing her.

Pulling away from him, looking him in the eyes and running her fingers through his hair, "hey you. How was the mission?"

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "not so good. Kennedy had a run in with a tree and a rock. She's fine now, but it was a bit of a challenge getting her back."

Still running her fingers through his hair and frowning at how tired he looks, "when did you get back?"

Yawning and taking a look at his watch, "three hours ago, wow!"

Shaking her head, "you feel okay?"

Rolling his eyes, "Lexi, Dr. Cole checked me over. It was just a rough go of it out there and you know I didn't sleep well last night."

Shocked that he's actually admitting to not sleeping well, "all right." and climbing out of the bed, raising her eyebrows at him, "shower?"

Tracking her as she walks towards the bathroom and seeing the raised eyebrows, he jumps out of the bed, "yeah."

Smiling as he pulls her close to him and kisses her, she starts to pull off his clothes and he does the same with hers as they stumble towards the shower. Forty minutes later, they're standing in the fogged up bathroom, towels wrapped around them.

Standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist, while she brushes her teeth, "you know what?" he asks, through kissing her neck.

Wiping the mirror with her hand, so she can see his reflection, "what?" she asks, after washing her mouth out with water.

Turning her around to face him and running his hands over her back, "I think you're the best present I could ask for."

Completely surprised and at a total loss for words, she simply clasps her arms around his neck and kisses him passionately. They stand there kissing for a couple of minutes and as she pulls away, he moans, "no, don't stop. Dinner can wait."

Smiling and pulling out of his arms, she heads for the dresser, "no it can't. I'm starving." and seeing the look he's fixing her with, from his position of leaning against the bathroom doorframe, she laughs, "besides, the faster we have dinner the faster we can come back here."

Realizing what she's getting at, he bolts over to the dresser and in record time he's dressed and waiting for her to finish getting ready. He's sitting on the couch when she walks out of the bathroom, "wow!" is all he can say, as he looks her up and down.

Blushing, "John, I'm not wearing anything that incredible."

He's standing in front of her in the blink of an eye, staring down at her, a huge grin plastered across his face, "yes, you are." he says and pulling her into him, "let's go, cause I can't wait to get you out of it."

She looks up at him and seeing the passion flash in his eyes, she kisses him. Pulling away, "okay. Let's go."

They head out of her quarters and as they get into the transporter, he reaches for the screen to hit the section for the southwest balcony. Noticing this, she places her hand on his, "no John, we need to stop off at the mess first."

"I thought that everything was already there?"

Smiling and hitting the screen for the mess, "no, I need to get one thing."

xxxx

They exit the transporter and as they reach the doors to the mess, "Lexi, why are the lights off?"

"Oh, yeah, um, Radek said they were having some issues with them."

Hand reaching for the door control panel, "that's strange. I wonder if McKay knows."

Barely able to keep the smile from her voice, "he does."

The next second the doors open and he stops dead in his tracks, "surprise!"

Spinning quickly to face her, "I told you I..."

The rest of his words get drowned out, as thirty people, wishing him "happy birthday," engulf him, McKay, Keller, Ronon, Beckett, Teyla and Lorne front and center.

She follows the group, with John in the middle, further into the mess and smiles as Woolsey comes over to her, "well Dr. Carter, I believe that this has turned out quite well. The mess looks wonderful and I have to say so does the food."

Smiling and watching John carefully, as he's got a smile on his face, but it's not reaching his eyes, "yes, the staff did a wonderful job. Please enjoy yourself tonight." and watching him make his way over to John and catching Radek's eye, the music starts.

As she heads over to the buffet table, Beckett shows up at her elbow, "Lexi, love, well done."

Turning to face him, plate in hand, "yeah."

Frowning at the look on her face and as others are now starting to line up for the buffet, he gently guides her out of ear shot, "what is it?" he asks.

Eyes quickly locating John, who's engrossed in an animated conversation with Teyla, Ronon and Lorne, but looks as if he's ready to bolt, "he's not happy."

Following her gaze and looking back at her, "he seems just fine to me and you said that you'd be fine with it, if he got angry at you for this."

Smiling, "I know Carson, but there's something else going on."

Patting her on the arm and returning her smile, "don't fret too much about it. We all needed this and he'll be just fine. I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat."

Sitting down at the table and not taking her eyes off John, "all right, I'll be right here."

A few hours later, after having eaten a little and chatting with everyone, she's trying to find John, having lost track of him. She sees McKay and Beckett at a table, beers in hand and a few empty bottles sitting on the table. Smiling at them, as she takes a seat next to McKay, "gentlemen please tell me that you're not driving anywhere tonight?"

Looking at her with a loopy smile, "no, I left my keys in my quarters." McKay woozily responds and thumping Beckett on the shoulder, causing the doctor to spill some of the beer he was drinking onto himself, "besides, Carson and I have already gotten Major Lorne to promise to drive us back."

Rolling his eyes, "Lexi, don't believe a word this git says." and taking a look around the mess, "I've a feeling that Jennifer's gonna be dealing with quite a few hangovers tomorrow mornin." he slurs out, his accent even more pronounced.

Eyeing the group of people in the mess, chuckling at what she sees, "yeah, I can't say that I'm sorry about that."

Ronon is in the middle of a game of Satedan/Earth beer pong with Lorne and his team, while a bunch of people are watching and cheering. Teyla and Keller are watching as well, not nearly as inebriated as the group playing the game. But all in all, everyone seems to have consumed copious amount of alcohol and are enjoying themselves immensely.

Feeling a little tipsy herself, but worry starting to nag at her again, she turns to face the two men again who've become engrossed in watching Ronon from afar, "have either of you seen John?"

"Aye love. I saw him head out onto the balcony a while ago."

Getting up and smirking at the activity going on around the room, "all right. Be good boys."

As she heads for the doors to the balcony, she looks back over her shoulder to see McKay, raising his beer up to her, "we'll be as good as we can."

Smiling at this, as she has a feeling that he will be attempting to put her suggestion about how to gain Keller's affection, into effect tonight, she turns her head and reaches the doors. Walking out onto the balcony, the door closing behind her, muting the sound coming from inside a little she scans the balcony for John.

She finds him sitting at the table where they spent the night talking, the night she arrived on Atlantis, his head resting on his arms, seemingly asleep.

Quietly walking up to him, frowning as she takes in the six empty bottles of beer sitting on the table, she kneels down and rubbing his back, "John?"

He blearily opens his eyes and she can tell that he's having a hard time focusing, so she tries again, "John, are you okay?"

Lifting his head up and staring at her, eyes still a little unfocused, "mm…fine" he slurs out, rubbing his eyes with his hands.

Standing up, "you think you can make it back to my quarters?" she asks and as he stands up, she quickly grabs his arm as he sways, "whoa, easy there fly boy." and draping his arm around her shoulder, wrapping her left arm around his waist, she guides him in the other direction off of the balcony.

It's slow going, as he is drunk enough that getting him to walk in a straight line is not even a possibility. After what seems like an eternity, they reach her quarters and swiping them into them, she guides him over to the bed, laughing at the fact that the second his head hits the pillow, he's out cold.

Reaching down to untie his shoes, "so much for the in control Colonel." she says with a smirk, as she easily finishes getting him out of his clothes and under the blankets.

Satisfied that he's down for the count, she heads into the bathroom and gets ready for bed. A few minutes later, she startles as he runs into the bathroom, hand over mouth, all the color gone from his face. Entering doctor mode immediately, she grabs a washcloth and wets it with cool water. After ringing it out, she kneels next to him rubbing circles on his back, as he continues to vomit. She sits there until the spell passes and as he leans back against the wall, closing his eyes and moaning, she flushes the toilet.

After flushing it, she slides herself behind him, so that he is sitting between her legs, leaning against her chest. She wraps her arms around his chest and gently places the cool washcloth over his forehead, a soft moan escaping his lips at the relief it offers.

"How much did you have to drink?" she asks him, as the shaking subsides and his breathing eases.

"Too...much." he grits out, eyes still closed.

Not missing the anger in his voice, "are you mad at me for throwing the party?"

Shaking his head, stopping mid shake as the movement causes another wave of nausea to ripple through him, he lunges forward, dry heaving into the toilet. Finally getting his stomach under control, he slumps back against her, sighing and wiping his mouth with the wet cloth that she hands him again, "no, I'm not angry about the party."

"Then why did you look so miserable and why did I find you out on the balcony?"

He doesn't answer and a few seconds later, feeling the tremors running through him and a few drops of water hitting her arms, "John, what is it?"

He slides out of her arms and turning to face her, she sees the tears that are streaking down his cheeks. Realizing that he won't be the one to initiate the contact, she slides next to him, on his right side and pulls him into a hug, holding him tight.

They sit there for a while and just when she can't stand the silence anymore and is about to say something, "it reminded...me...of my mom."

"I'm sorry?"

Talking into her shoulder, "the party reminded me of my mom."

Pushing him away to arms length and looking him in the eyes, she sees the pain in them, "what do you mean, the party reminded you of your mom?"

Taking a deep breath and running his hands through his hair, "the last time someone threw a surprise party for me, my mom ended up in the hospital."

"Oh, John. I'm so sorry." and seeing that he's starting to shake again, she pulls him into another hug. Rubbing his back, she feels the tremors running through him again, "when did this happen?"

He doesn't answer right away, but when he does, his voice is shaky and full of raw emotion, "I was eleven. My mom convinced my dad to throw a surprise party for my birthday and of course, he could never say no to her..." he trails off, taking in a couple of breaths to calm himself.

Pulling away, she looks him over, concern twisting her stomach into knots, "John, this can wait, we should..."

Meeting her gaze, "no, I've...already started. Just...give...me a sec. Okay?"

Nodding and taking his hand in hers, "okay."

Getting his feelings in check, "the night of my surprise party, she got really sick. It turned out that she had cancer, but they didn't catch it in time. She died three days later, in my arms." and wrapping his arms around himself, as the shakes are getting worse, "did it just get cold in here?"

Standing up, "let's get you back in bed." and taking his hands, she pulls him to his feet, stepping backwards, as he nearly topples over into her, "whoa, I've got you."

He's still shaking, but stops at the sink, "I need to."

Realizing what he wants to do, "yeah. But, if I let go, will you be okay?"

Nodding his head a little, "just don't go far."

"How bout I stay right here?" she asks, letting go, but not moving from his side.

Smiling a little, "that works."

Five minutes later, he is lying in her arms, his head resting on her chest and she's running her fingers through his hair.

Looking down at him, "John, when your mom died, how did your dad take it?'

Frowning and looking up at her, "he buried himself in his work and Dave and I were sent away to boarding school. His plan was for us to join the family business after college and grad school. I got as far as grad school."

Chuckling, "let me guess, you left for the academy right after graduation?"

"Yeah. I was home on winter break during my last year and when I told him, we had a huge fight. He told me that if I joined the Air Force, he would never forgive me. I went home after graduation to get my things and he and Dave tried to convince me not to go. Obviously I didn't listen."

Wrapping her arms tighter around him, "did you ever talk with him again?"

Sighing, "yeah. It was right after I proposed to Nancy. I brought her home to meet him, but that day ended in another fight and if it wasn't for the fact that he loved Nancy, he wouldn't have shown up at the wedding."

"How did he take it when you got divorced?"

Scrubbing his face, tiredly, "he never spoke to me again."

Kissing his forehead, "I'm sorry."

Snuggling closer to her, "for what?"

"If I'd known all of this, I wouldn't have thrown the party."

Sitting up and frowning at her, "Lexi, it's my fault. I should have told you. But." rubbing the back of his head with his hand and shrugging, "I'm not good at...well you know."

Pulling him down into her arms again, "yeah, I know. You suck at the touchy feely stuff. Now shut up and go to sleep. You look like you were hit by a truck."

Looking up at her and smiling, "thanks for caring." he says, sarcasm dripping from every word.

Rolling her eyes, "just be thankful that I'm not grounding you." she says, and as she looks down at him, she smiles, as his eyes are already closed.

Thinking that he's already asleep, she mentally shuts off the lights and as she shuts her eyes, she startles a little as he whispers, "Lexi, you...remind me of her."

Not knowing what to say to this, as she's so flattered, she simply kisses him and they fall asleep.