A/N: Thank you for the reviews for C33. Thanks to a contrary laptop, updates have been slow but i hope (and have fingers crossed) it won't be too much of an issue for much longer. This chapter mainly concentrates on Kate trying to cope. The last paragraph may make you sit up a bit and wonder why, but really, if this were to happen, i think it would be feasible for him to do what he does. All errors are, as always my own. Apologies for any Britishisms or grammatical errors that may sneak in unannounced. Can't help bein' British ;)

Thirty-Four:

The ensuing silence was horrible. Kate remained where she was sitting and tried to breathe. Her throat felt closed up and her head began to ache again. She scrubbed at her eyes and got to her feet. Bobby had told her that the woman was dead. Nicole, Elizabeth or whatever the hell her name was. She couldn't hate a dead woman but she felt as though she wanted to rage at someone, anyone. Part of her had hoped that she would get her moment in court, that she would face her and tell her that she had failed in her mission, she hadn't killed her, or damaged her spirit but she really felt that the latter part wasn't true. She felt damaged, physically maybe but emotionally for sure.

Alex was surprised to see Bobby emerge from Kate's room so soon. She felt her stomach plunge to her boots when she saw the expression on his face, recognised the set of his shoulders. She watched him approach her, his pace slow and almost measured.

"Hey. How did it go?" Bobby paused in front of her and for a moment she thought that he wouldn't answer her.

"Not…not good. You know, I don't want to talk about it…right now" he replied quietly. Alex sighed quietly. Okay, so it hadn't gone well. A psychopath whose only interest was to get one over her partner had beaten the woman into unconsciousness. She still remembered the utter shock that had coursed through her system when she'd almost ran her over. She also remembered the amount of blood on her face and her hands and feet. Privately Alex had wondered when it would begin to affect her and it would seem that that time was now.

"See Kate" Nicky piped up and Bobby looked at him. He would want to see Kate and he doubted that she would be open to another visit. He sighed quietly.

"Kate's sleeping now Nicky" he explained and saw the dark frown that clouded his expression. He didn't believe him and why should he?

"She wasn't asleep was she?" Alex asked him in a low voice. Bobby glanced over his shoulder at Nicky who was staring out of the window. He looked back at his partner and quickly shook his head

"She…I guess she needs some…space…"

"I can understand that. Just don't let the space get too big or too…permanent" she told him. He looked at her.

"I'll give her all the time that she needs," he informed her and Alex quietly sighed and started up the SUV engine. She turned on the radio and kept the volume low. No one spoke as she pulled away.

Sleep evaded Kate again. Whatever slumber she had managed had been troubled, drenched with such horrific nightmares that had been blood soaked and terrifying. Tonight had been no exception.

She crawled out of bed, shivering after another nightmare had succeeded in shaking her out of a restless slumber. Her head pounded and panic still possessed her. She had dreamed of… pain and darkness and of unquestioning evil. She had dreamed of bullets, of pools of blood and Bobby staring at her through blind eyes, some of that gore pooling around him. It left her nauseous, trembling and scared out of her mind. She stumbled into the kitchen and went about the process of making some tea. The routine, as mundane as it was, helped to calm her and by the time the tea was made, she felt a little better.

She carried the fragile looking china teacup into the living room and went to sit on her sofa. She carefully shuffled back until she was comfortable and tucked her feet beneath her body. She looked down at her cup; it was old-fashioned looking thing, white with pale pink roses. It had been a gift from Bobby. He had seen her teabags in the cupboard where she kept her coffee and she'd confessed her liking for drinking tea. The following day when she'd arrived to take care of Nicky, he had gifted her the cup and saucer. It was a delicate china teacup with a matching saucer that she cherished and loved because he had surprised her with it. She felt a familiar burning at the back of her throat and she lifted the cup to her lips and took a sip of the hot liquid. She leaned against the back of her sofa and closed her eyes for a second. She'd been out of hospital for close to ten days now and the stitches in her head had been taken out. It felt good to be able to stick her head beneath the showerhead again and actually wash her hair. Her hands and feet were healing and she could wear shoes again though it was still so hot outside, the air was still thick and heavy. She wished for a thunderstorm, anything to clear the oppression. Maybe it would help clear her head too.

As she took another sip of her tea, she turned her head and saw her cell phone on the end table by her sofa, almost lost amidst a pile of discarded books. Her thoughts drifted to Bobby. She missed him so much. She had lost count of how many times she'd picked up her phone to call him or to send him a text, only to hang up again. It was after two in the morning, more than likely he'd be asleep. She reached across and picked it up and looked at it. Or would he be awake? Maybe he'd been called out. She stared at it and sighed. She went to put it back on the table, as she had done countless times before. Maybe he was asleep and wouldn't appreciate an out of the blue telephone call but fear was still frozen in the centre of her and she craved the sound of his voice. Before she could change her mind, she hit the speed dial and brought the phone to her ear.

It was answered almost straight away and her heart thumped hard in her chest when she heard his husky voice.

"Goren" He didn't sound sleepy, in fact he sounded quite alert. Her throat went dry and any words that she wanted to say refused to come out, they felt stuck in her chest.

"Kate?" his tone lightened slightly with curiosity and she sighed raggedly.

"Yeah…" her voice was crackly from lack of use and her hand tightened reflexively on her phone. Another pause.

"Are you okay?"

"Would you be surprised if I said that I wasn't?" she admitted in a quiet voice. She leaned her head against the back of her sofa.

"Do you need me?" Sudden tears crowded the backs of her eyes. Did she need him? How could she count the ways? She took a deep, deep breath.

"Just…talk to me Bobby… I need to hear your voice," she murmured in a husky, unsteady voice.

"I can be there in half an hour…" he began.

"No…no…it's late…Nicky will be sleeping…stay there, I'll be okay," she told him. She heard him sigh.

"Tell me how you're feeling…" he began.

"Right now or in general?"

"Whichever is easiest…I'll listen" he replied. She sighed again and scrubbed at her eyes.

"I…Bobby…maybe this isn't such a good idea…I should go, it's late…." Confusion slammed through her brain and she felt close to tears again.

"No…don't go, I wasn't sleeping…please" he interrupted urgently. There was a short period of silence. She could hear him breathing, ever so quietly across the telephone line.

"I miss…" she missed him. She shook her head.

"Everything is screwed up inside of my head. She wanted to kill you, she tried to kill me…what did she do to Nicky?"

"Nothing…she didn't hurt him. I wore a bulletproof vest and she didn't kill you. She hurt you…you have every right to feel…the way that you feel but she won't hurt you again," he reminded her.

"Then why can't I get her out of my head?" she admitted on a whisper, feeling the emotions threaten to overwhelm her.

"It'll take time Kate, you can't expect to come to…terms or get over this instantly" there was a pause.

"I hate feeling like this… I don't…like how she made me feel…I can't get past it," she confessed in a tight voice.

"She can't hurt you anymore" he told her in a low voice.

"She can and she does. Every time that I close my eyes" And with that, she hung up

He closed his phone and sighed quietly. He leaned back against the headboard of his bed and stared ahead. He had been wide-awake too. He was used to very little sleep and less so in the last couple of weeks. He had hoped that Kate would get back in touch. He had worried about her, had wanted to visit her to see how she was but he had made a promise to give her space, hoping that she would contact him in her own time and without any pressure and she had. She had sounded so scared, he had felt the fear vibrating through her and again he cursed Nicole Wallace.

Unbeknownst to anyone he had gone to see her at the morgue. He had needed to know that she was dead. Of course he'd seen her lying on the floor with two bullet holes in her chest but he had physically needed to see her on that table once and for all before he could truly believe that she was actually and finally dead. As she had opened fire on him, the two police officers behind him had returned fire and she'd been struck twice. According to the M.E's report, she'd died instantly.

He had been the only one at the crematorium. No one had claimed her body so he paid for her to be cremated. He hadn't told anyone that he'd done this, no one would see or understand his reasoning after the mayhem she'd created in his life. He didn't to an extent but it was something that he felt that he had to do. Alex had offered again to sit with his son while he went to the crematorium; he had cited personal business but didn't elaborate. For all he knew, his partner thought he'd gone to visit his mother and that was fine by him. He had walked away from the building and hoped that it would be a closed chapter of his life.