A/N: This chapter takes place four years after the last one. I hope you enjoy it!

Thank you to my lovely readers; to everyone who took the time to write a review; and to the awesome Suilven, my beta.

Chapter 35 – Save the Date

You are cordially invited to celebrate the wedding of

Hendel Nagesh Mitra

Lieutenant, Systems Alliance Navy

and

Martin Hasan Ershad

Service Chief, Systems Alliance Navy

On Saturday, the 9th of November, 2182

8 pm

Kolkata Urban Resort

New Calcutta, West Bengal

Dinner and reception to follow

Kaidan wasn't at all surprised that things hadn't worked out between Mitra and his civilian ex-boyfriend, Marc; he, too, had tried without success to have relationships with civilians. First, it had been a college student named Lydia. They had met during his shore leave in 2174, in Vancouver. In 2175, after he and Shepard had spent a few days together on Mindoir, he had realized he was still in love with Shepard and had broken up with Lydia. But it wasn't like their relationship had been working before. Lydia had often felt lonely and had complained about how hard it was for them to meet and how he was never there when she needed him.

In 2179, there was Michelle. She was the manager at the karaoke bar on Arcturus. What was supposed to be their first date turned into a whole weekend together. However, the Agincourt only docked at Arcturus every three months or so, and Michelle ended up getting involved with someone else during Kaidan's months of absence. After that one, he had decided to take a break from relationships for a while. He did go on a few dates, and had a couple of one-night stands, but steered clear from labels and commitments.

Truth be told, for most of the time, since 2179 and after Michelle, he had been alone. Having meaningless encounters with random girls was not his style, and it had been more peer pressure that had pushed him into doing it than anything else.

Two other marines serving on the Agincourt had made passes at him over the years but, after he had become a Staff Lieutenant and head of the marine detail in 2180, it hadn't happened again. Fraternization was prohibited, and Kaidan had never, and would never, engaged in a behavior that went against the rules; he cherished his career too much to do something stupid and juvenile like that.

So, he had RSVP-ed for the wedding for himself only; no plus one. Despite not having met Ershad yet, Mitra had still asked Kaidan to be in the wedding party, as one of the officers in the sword detail, and he wasn't going to miss it.

For a while there, he let himself wonder about Shepard — if she would go; if she would be in the sword detail, too; if she would bring a date. Enough, he chided himself internally. He tried not to think too much about her these days. The last time he had seen her in person had been when she had broken up with him, in 2176. His parents hadn't heard from her in a year and were very upset. Kaidan hadn't heard from her in even longer; for the past two New Year's Eves, she hadn't called, or even sent a text.

She didn't care about him anymore and he… he wished he could say the same about her.

November 9th, 2182. Kolkata Urban Resort, New Calcutta.

Kaidan and the other seven officers who were in the sword detail for Hendel and Martin's wedding were sitting in the last two rows of chairs, waiting for the ceremony to start. Except for Lieutenant Katrina Makowski, who had been the last one to arrive, he didn't know any of the others. Kat had greeted him informally, which had been unexpected, and he had thought she would take the free seat by his side; instead she had stood at attention. The other marines did the same all of a sudden, and Kaidan followed. Whoever was in charge of the arch of swords must have arrived.

The sentinel had no idea of who it would be. If he were to haphazard a guess, he would go with Major Kyle. Mitra had been a good friend of Kyle's from back when the major had still been a lieutenant. But, then Kaidan had heard that the major had disappeared after the raid on Torfan and had been discharged from the Alliance.

"Lieutenant Shepard, Hero of the Blitz, it is an honor to meet you, ma'am. My parents were in that subway in Illyria. Our family will be forever grateful for what you did there," one of the marines said, his words cutting through Kaidan's thoughts.

Shepard was there. She really was there, looking beautiful and confident in her dress blues and attracting everyone's eyes. His breath got caught in his throat and, not knowing how to react to seeing her after all this time, he just continued standing at attention.

"It's Commander Shepard now, corporal," she replied, pointing to the insignia on her uniform.

The guy looked like he was going to be sick and she put a hand on his shoulder, "Easy, soldier. Take a deep breath. This is the first time I'm wearing this jacket. You don't want to spill your guts on it now, do you?"

"No, ma'am," the guy said, his voice barely coming out.

"Good."

The others introduced themselves to her while Kaidan just watched, unable to move. He probably wasn't even breathing. There were so many questions he wanted to ask her — what she had been doing; why she had disappeared; how recent her promotion was; all those medals pinned to her dress uniform, what she had received them for; and, most importantly, would she like to sit by his side.

"Kaidan." Despite her usage of his first name as she approached him, she looked so damned cold and professional that it set him off.

"It's Lieutenant Alenko, ma'am." It sounded harsh and… had he just chided a superior officer? It was like his brain had shut down for a second and he hadn't been able to help it.

She raised one eyebrow at him, looking a bit taken aback and maybe confused for a second, and then took the seat one of the other marines had offered her. It was only three chairs away from the sentinel, but it might as well be a million.

"Wow. Very smooth, Alenko," Kat said wryly, taking the vacant seat beside his. "You know, I still can't figure out if you're an asshole or if you just don't know anything about women."

Kaidan let out a heavy sigh. This was going to be one long wedding.

"Last time I saw Shepard, she was the one mad at you. But, that was ages ago, so what do I know."

"Kat, look, I don't want to talk a–"

"Correction: last time I saw Shepard, she was on ANN, receiving the Star of Terra for holding off the attack on Elysium. I thought I'd be seeing a lot more of her after that, that she would become the Alliance's poster girl and her face would be everywhere. Instead, she disappeared. It was the right call if you think about it. She was high as fuck on that footage from the Blitz. If the Alliance had tried to capitalize on her image and made the buzz around her last, the press might have found out about the less heroic sides of her."

"She is a hero, Makowski, and she's right there," Kaidan whispered impatiently, between gritted teeth.

"I know and, when she arrived, I saluted her like one and treated her with the respect she deserves. Can you say the same for yourself, Alenko?"

No, I can't. And he couldn't tell what Katrina's point was; if there was an angle to it, or if she was just trying to piss him off as some sort of revenge for that misunderstanding between them a few years back.

"Dell said you needed someone to set you straight."

"What? Why would he say that?"

"He's worried about you. We're all settling down now," she said, showing him the engagement ring on her finger. "And, you… well, he thinks you're still hung up on Shepard and that you're not even trying to have a life outside of work anymore."

"That's… that's not… that's none of your business, Kat."

"Exactly what I told Dell. But, he reminded me were friends once. Good friends, who looked out for each other and stood together through thick and thin. And he's right, Kaidan. Dell, Marc, Toni, Rahna, Yuri — I don't think we would be here today if it weren't for them. The seven of us, we faced everything together and we took care of each other. We may have drifted apart afterwards, but it was our friendship that got us through that Brain Camp hell. So — and you'll want to pay attention now because this is probably the last non-sarcastic thing I'll say for the rest of the evening — you go get your happy ending. If you're still in love with Shepard, go win her back. If you think Rahna is the love of your life — she's not — but, if you think she is, then go after her. If they're not what you want, then get some closure and move on with your life. They're both here tonight, so this is the perfect opportunity for you to sort things out."

"Rahna is here?" It came out a little bit higher and louder than he'd expected, which caused Shepard to spare a glance in his direction.

Kat made a show of rolling her eyes at him. "Jesus Fuck, Kaidan. You make me feel like we're teenagers back in Brain Camp again."

"I just want to know how she's been doing; that's all." I want to make sure that I didn't ruin her life. I want to see for myself that she's okay.

"You'll have a chance to do that during the reception. Right now, we have to assume our positions." Katrina pointed to Shepard, who was signaling them to move to the center of the aisle.

Kaidan hadn't had time to come to this realization before but, if Shepard had been promoted to Lieutenant Commander and she was sitting there with them in her uniform, that meant she was in charge of the arch of swords; she was the ranking officer in the wedding party.

"Officers, draw swords," Shepard ordered. "Center face."

The marines pivoted so they were in two lines, facing each other. The guests got up and Kaidan figured either Mitra or Ershad must have walked in.

"Arch swords," Shepard commanded. The ceremony was about to start.

Since the grooms were from different religions, they had decided to have a military ceremony officiated by an Alliance Navy chaplain.

It was very brief, but it gave Kaidan enough time to think, and he regretted the way he had talked to Shepard when she had arrived. It might have upset him that she had cut him out of her life, but perhaps she could explain why she had done it. He didn't want to fight; he just wanted to understand.

As the newlyweds were coming down the aisle, Commander Shepard already had the sword detail positioned for the second arch at the exit. The whole ritual was executed to perfection. When it was over and she had dismissed them, Kaidan noticed her eyes remained on him.

He rubbed the headjack on the back of his neck, giving himself a moment to figure out the best way to start this conversation. As he looked up again, with a small smile on his lips to break the ice, she wasn't there anymore. Some guy in dress uniform was leading her away with his hand on the small of her back.

They seemed close, but not boyfriend-and-girlfriend close. Kaidan kept watching them until they found their seats, which were side by side. Okay, not a good sign, but it didn't necessarily mean they were a couple either.

There were two other empty chairs at the table and Kaidan wondered if Dell would've put him at the same table as Shepard. Before he could decide if that would be good or bad, considering that she might've brought a date, two other marines from the sword detail occupied the chairs.

"C'mon, Alenko. You're with us," Kat said, pointing to the table with their old friends from BAaT.

Except for Marc, they were all there. Kaidan almost didn't recognize Rahna. Her hair was styled differently and dyed a darker color. She looked older, of course, and a lot skinnier. Her arms were crossed protectively over her chest and she seemed uncomfortable, as if she didn't want to touch anything or anyone.

She greeted him politely and then excused herself from the table.

"I don't think she wants to sit with us. She's been trying to live a normal life," Toni explained. "Like a normal person."

Kat just shrugged, but Kaidan felt like he should go after Rahna and try to talk to her. He pretended he didn't see the others shaking their heads at him as he left. Were they thinking he was still hung up on her after fourteen years?

She was talking to someone about switching places when he caught up with her. At least she cared about Dell enough to not leave his wedding early.

Kaidan put his hand on her shoulder to get her attention, but she didn't turn to see who it was.

"Danny," she said, recognizing him from his touch only. The buzz of his biotics were probably a dead giveaway. "Is there something you want?"

Her dark energy was so repressed and under control, he barely felt anything before she flinched from his touch.

"I was wondering if we could talk…"

"Sure," she replied, finally turning to face him. Her voice was as soft as usual, but her smile was tight enough for him to know she was uncomfortable.

"How have you been?" He instantly kicked himself in his mind for opening with that question. Had he caught this from Shepard? The ability of sounding infuriatingly casual in all situations?

"Fine, thank you." Her answer was as shallow as his question.

"You still call me 'Danny'."

"Old habits, I guess."

"Look, Rahna, after BAaT, after we were sent home, I tried to reach you. I really tried. For months. I was worried and I wanted to make su–"

"I know, and I'm sorry I didn't end things properly between us, but I'm not sorry for leaving that life behind. Brain Camp was the worst thing to ever happen to me and I needed to put it behind me."

"You didn't have to ignore us like that, going away without a word."

She looked down, biting her bottom lip. "I didn't. I kept in touch with Dell and Marc. And Toni for a while."

"But, not with me," Kaidan uttered, his tone betraying a hint of bitterness.

"That place needed to be shut down and you made it happen — that was what Dell kept saying. But, the way you did it, what you became… I couldn't live with it. I still can't."

"Rahna, I'm not sorry Vyrnnus is dead. I just regret that I was the one to kill him." It was probably not to the best thing to say in a conversation with Rahna. She was a genuinely good person. There wasn't one mean bone in her body. But, this was how he truly felt about Vyrnnus' death, so he said it anyway.

"Yes, and that's why I did not return your calls."

"He broke your arm."

"He did even worse to others there and he should've answered for it properly. It was not your place to act as his judge, jury, and executioner. And yet, somehow you never answered for it. I couldn't sleep for days thinking that a man died because of me. You killed him because he broke my arm. Who does that?"

"I believe Vyrnnus had a combat knife to his face and Kaidan killed him in self-defense. That was also why he didn't have to answer for it. Isn't that right, Lieutenant?" Shepard chimed in, appearing as if out of nowhere.

"Y-Yeah," Kaidan agreed, looking grateful for her intervention. Shepard was right; Rahna might have been the reason Kaidan had stood up to Vyrnnus at first, but he had killed him to protect himself, not her.

"Hi. I'm Commander Jane Shepard. And you are… Rahna, I believe?"

"How do you know?"

"Kaidan and I are good friends and he showed me some pictures of his Brain Camp pals. You're even more beautiful in person," Shepard said, smiling at the taller woman.

"Thank you. It's nice to meet you, Commander Shepard."

"The pleasure is mine, Rahna. Oh, look, my date is missing me already. I'll leave you two to catch up." She winked at Kaidan and walked away, leaving him completely dumbfounded.

"That's the Jane Shepard? The Hero of the Blitz?"

"Yeah, that's her."

Rahna sighed in relief. "So glad I didn't shake hands with her when she introduced herself. Did you see that footage of the attack on Elysium? Her biotics are not normal. Touching her could've set me off. I don't think it's safe for someone like her to use an amp."

Kaidan would've started an argument with Rahna for saying that if he weren't still dazed by the amount of information Shepard dropped in his lap with just those few sentences. So, they were good friends now? And she was on a date? What did that wink mean?

She had come to him twice already tonight and, unlike him, she had been friendly enough. Now, it was his turn to make a move and let her know he wanted to repair things between them.

"Rahna, I have to go. It was nice talking to you," he said, reaching out to shake her hand and then retreating as he remembered she was avoiding touching other biotics.

"Bye, Danny. Er, Kaidan. I'll see if they found me another table."

It was only after the toast and dinner that Kaidan had a chance to properly talk to Shepard. Slow songs were playing and she was dancing with Mitra after having danced with her date.

As Kaidan approached them, he heard Mitra say, "Hot single guy at eleven o'clock, Shepard. Maybe you'd like to have the next dance with him?"

She playfully dipped Mitra and they were laughing when she pulled him up. As they parted, she turned, smiling to find out Kaidan was the one waiting for her.

He took her in his arms and they both felt so comfortable in each other's embrace that their lack of rhythm and inability to keep up with the music didn't matter.

"Hey, Shepard."

"Hey, Kaidan."

"Sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have talked to you like that."

"You're mad at me. I get it."

"I'm not. I just want to know why. Why did you disappear, Lisa? I missed you."

"I missed you, too," she said, pulling him closer and tucking her head in the hollow of his neck.

A faint blue glow surrounded them, making his skin tingle. It felt like heaven and he inhaled deeply, breathing her in. His question remained unanswered but, right now, he only wanted one thing and it was for this perfect moment with her to last.

"So, 'good friends'? That's what we are?" he asked softly. It was more than he could hope for after two years without a word from her.

"I don't know. It's up to you, I guess."

"Good friends… yeah, I think I can live with that." His smile widened when he felt her own against his neck.

"'Danny', huh?"

"Don't start. I never liked it, but I never had the heart to tell Rahna that."

"How is she?" Shepard asked.

"She's… changed."

"Haven't we all?"

"Yeah. She's made choices I don't agree with, but she's standing behind them. I think she's going to be fine."

"What about you?"

"I…" He buried his nose in her hair and it was like there was no one else there but them. "I couldn't be better," he whispered and felt her shudder in his arms.

In the back of his mind, he knew he shouldn't try to kiss her tonight, but right now he couldn't remember why.

The song ended and she gave him a peck on the cheek. "Thank you for the dance."

This was it. She was walking away and he had to stop her, to tell her that being good friends wasn't enough, that he wanted to try again.

"Shepard!" A man called, coming over to meet her.

Yeah, right. That was the reason why he shouldn't try to kiss her tonight; she was on a damn date with some other man.

Benjamin Becker was an Alliance Navy Lieutenant Commander and an N7. He and Shepard had met during training at the vila militar in 2176. He was also her date for Mitra's wedding. After the reception, they went back to their room and he did not look happy.

"So that's why."

"Why what?"

"Why you're keeping me at arm's length. It's because you're in love with that guy you were dancing with."

"How am I keeping you at arm's length, Benjy? We had sex this morning."

"So, you don't deny you're in love with him?"

"Kaidan is a good friend who I hadn't seen in years." Using his first name probably wouldn't help her make her case with Becker though.

"'Kaidan'?" He shook his head, noticing her slip. "You're still not denying it."

"I'm not in love with him," Shepard said, and her lack of conviction surprised even herself.

"For someone who's often working undercover, I'd think you'd be a better liar."

"I am not in love with Kai- Lieutenant Alenko," she insisted, trying not think of how her heart had fluttered in her chest the instant she had laid her eyes on him earlier today. Or, how right it had felt to be in his arms again. Or, how his voice in her ear as they had danced had sent shivers down her spine.

"Everyone stopped to watch you two on the dance floor. I couldn't even get a waiter to bring me a drink. It looked like you and he had melded together in this lumpy blue ghost-like creature. Very bizarre. Children were scared."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "You and I are not in a relationship, Becker. I thought we'd agreed on that."

They had started this affair in their downtime between missions at the vila militar, almost four years ago. The first time they had slept together, it had happened because they had both been drunk, lonely, horny, and available. It had continued because it was easy and uncomplicated — neither wanted a commitment, the sex was good, and they had no problem keeping it separated from their work.

"We did. Yet you asked me to be your date to this wedding at a fancy resort in India."

"We only get three, maybe four weekends together a year; I didn't want to bail on you."

"You just wanted to make sure you were getting laid this weekend after three months of wiping vorcha off of that moon. Admit it, Shepard, you only brought me here for some stress relief. I'm your fuck buddy."

"This was never an issue for you before," she said, and immediately wished she could take it back. If he was this upset about her dancing with another man, things had changed in the way he felt about her.

He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. "You know what? You're right. That's why we have to end this; I shouldn't care about who you're in love with. Who you dance with shouldn't bother me. But, now it's starting to, and that's not what we wanted. It's not what we agreed on. So, let's just call it. I'm done. We're done."

She did not argue. As much as she enjoyed his company, keeping this up would be leading him on and she wouldn't do that to anyone, least of all to a friend.

December 20th, 2182. Arcturus Space Station.

"Well, what about Jarell Turner? Earthborn, but no record of his family, I believe," Ambassador Donnel Udina suggested.

"He doesn't have one. Grew up in an orphanage in Vancouver," Captain David Anderson said.

"He saw his whole unit die on Akuze. He could have some serious emotional scars," Admiral Steven Hackett said.

"Every soldier has scars. Turner's a survivor," Anderson replied. "However, I think Shepard will be a better choice for this mission."

Anderson had been given command of the SSV Normandy — the most advanced frigate in both human and turian fleets. Her development had been a joint effort between the Systems Alliance and the Turian Hierarchy; all paid by the Citadel Council. This would be her first tour and there was no room for failure. The Council was finally trusting humanity with an important mission, and succeeding would give the Alliance enough leverage to push a name forward to join the Council Special Tactics and Reconnaissance group — the Spectres. And, maybe, in the long run, this could get humanity a seat on the Council, too.

That was why Anderson wanted an N7 operative as his Executive Officer. A famous one, preferably. Someone the Council would have no reason to refuse when Anderson recommended him or her to join the Spectres. So, he made an extensive research on the probable candidates, despite knowing from the start who would end up picking.

"Shepard?" Udina asked. "Mindoir's sole survivor?"

"Yes. She knows how tough life can be out there," Anderson said.

Hackett nodded in agreement. "And, she proved herself during the Blitz. Held off the enemy forces on the ground until reinforcements arrived."

"She's the only reason Elysium is still standing," Anderson added. His choice had been made, but he had to indulge Udina and let him think he was part of the decision-making process. He and Hackett needed the ambassador to work on the political aspects of Shepard's nomination for the Spectres.

Udina didn't look convinced. "We can't question her courage, but is she the kind of person we want protecting the galaxy?"

"That's the only kind of person that can protect the galaxy. Humanity needs its heroes. Shepard's the best we've got."

"Hm. I'm afraid I must insist on Turner, Captain," Udina said.

Anderson spared a glance at the time on his tool and decided he had had enough of indulging the ambassador for today. "Discussing this matter with you was just a courtesy, Ambassador. I answer to Admiral Hackett and he gave me full autonomy to choose my team."

Hackett exchanged a look with Anderson, pleased to see the captain putting the ambassador in his place. "Very well. Shepard it is, then. I'll let her know," he said.

Udina was a humanity enthusiast and Anderson was sure he would campaign day-in and day-out to get the Council on board with the idea of a human Spectre, even if Shepard wasn't the ambassador's top pick for the position.

December 31st, 2182. Ambleside Beach, Vancouver.

"I didn't expect you to be here."

"I didn't think you were still coming."

"I… I've never stopped coming, Shepard," Kaidan replied and turned to face the ocean until he could get a handle on his emotions. Meeting her on this beach again after all these years was a dream come true, but it didn't change the fact that he was still disappointed with her for having disappeared, and then for dodging his questions at Mitra's wedding.

They might have taken a step in the right direction that day, but he still thought he deserved an explanation.

"Beer?" she offered after a long silence, raising the six-pack she had brought closer to his eye level.

"I'm good." He grabbed a bottle of whisky that had been half-buried next to him in the sand.

"Something stronger isn't a bad idea. Can I have some?"

Without a word, he passed her the bottle and she drank a large gulp. "When did you switch to whisky?" she asked, handing him the bottle back. Their made up New Year's Eve tradition had been to have a beer together on the beach.

"When you stopped calling."

Another silence, heavy and tense, stretched out for minutes before Shepard spoke. "They were sending me on longer missions. Riskier ones. I didn't want you to worry about me. I didn't want you to miss me if… things went wrong."

He swallowed hard. Just thinking that she had been worried about dying alone out there and that she hadn't wanted anyone to suffer for her, it hurt too much. She didn't understand, did she? That she could be gone for a hundred years and he would still miss her every single day.

With a sigh, she continued, "And, I needed to get over you and move on with my life."

Of course. He didn't know what exactly he had been expecting from her after she had come up to him at the wedding and said they were friends. He shouldn't have been expecting anything but friendship. However, he never could give up on her completely. By showing up here today, she had given him hope that she might still care about him in the same way he cared about her. Now, she had just crushed that hope all over again. "That's why you're back here. Because you're over me. You've moved on," he said, eyes still fixed on the ocean, wondering if she had brought her boyfriend along tonight, too.

"I… haven't. That's why I'm back here."

Her reply caught him by surprise and he didn't know what to say. "Shepard…"

People all around them started the countdown to the New Year while Lisa and Kaidan just stared at each other. The beach exploded in cheers, and fireworks painted the sky, and they were still staring. Kaidan was afraid to speak, to move, even to smile, because he didn't want to break this moment.

"There's one more thing I have to do. One more tour. And I can't have any distractions; I need to be on top of my game. I owe it to Anderson to give all I can to this mission."

Kaidan broke eye contact, looking down. A shadow crossed his features as he got ready to be shot down again.

"But, if you're willing to wait for me… One more tour. That's all I'm asking. And then we'll be together, if you still want me. We'll make it work. I promise I won't give up on us again. They have housing facilities at The Villa for all N7s. I have my own place there. It's small, but probably bigger than your apartment at the officers' quarters on Arcturus. We could..."

"Wait, do you want to...?"

"Or, we could stay at your apartment. If I'm still stationed on a ship after this tour, living on Arcturus would be more convenient than on Earth."

A small smile crept up on his face, shy but content. He could barely believe this was really happening. "You want to move in together."

"I, I… Yes. There's no one I'd rather be with, Kaidan. You're the only one for me. You've always been, from the moment you first touched me, the way I felt, the way you still make me feel..."

Closing his eyes as a shiver racked his body, he took a deep breath and then exhaled with a sigh of relief. "Lisa… I'll wait as long as it takes if you get to come home to me in the end. I never gave up on us." He put his hand in his pocket and took out her name necklace. She reached for it, but he pulled back, fist clenched around it. "I… Can I hold on to it?"

She nodded. "All this time, did you have it on you?"

"Every day," he said, blushing a little. Putting the necklace back in his pocket, he rubbed his headjack.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she looked away, trying to keep them from falling. "Thank you," she said, "for keeping it safe."

He wanted to kiss her, to tell her that he loved her, that throughout all these years he had never stopped loving her. But, he couldn't do it; he had to respect her wishes. One more tour. No distractions. They would have the rest of their lives to be together afterwards.