Chapter thirty-four:

After Effects

When I walked out of the bathroom at Soda's house the morning after Buck's party, I nearly ran into Tim. "You know I would have kicked the crap out of him last night but I couldn't." Tim said.

"Why not?" I asked confused. As far as I knew Tim had never failed in a fight.

We moved into the living room and Tim motioned to the couch. "He wouldn't let me." Tim said.

I glanced at the couch and saw Dally laying there still asleep. "Dally? No, not him. He doesn't care anymore. Except maybe to protect his reputation."

"He cares." Tim said. "It's just hard for him to say so, Baby."

"Oh." I said slowly moving to the couch and sitting down next to it on the floor. I picked up Dally's hand that was hanging off the side of the couch and started rubbing the back of it in little circles with my thumb. It had been a while since I had seen him truly mad but this had always calmed him down when he was.

Slowly Dally woke up and first he groaned before looking at me. "Morning Lizzie Beth."

"Morning Dally," I answered. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the door open and Steve stepped inside.

"You ok, kid?"

"No, but ... thanks." I said glancing down quickly.

"Hey, he messed with you, he deals with me." I wanted to say something else but I didn't want to anger him. Instead I smiled and moved to hug him but he put his hands on my shoulders. "Not now Lizzie." I tried not to look too disappointed but I guess he caught it because he shifted a bit and gently hugged me.

"He's a bit sore. We ran into a couple of Socs last night after the party." Tim said. That on top of the fight with Barnes and his fight in New York it was no wander why it had been Tim that had comforted me last night. Dally let me go and I rested my chin on my arms on the edge of the couch looking out the window behind the couch. Then I felt his hand on my head stroking the top of my head.

"You staying for breakfast, Shepard?" I heard Soda ask.

"No, but I'll be back later."

"Tonight?"

"Maybe." Tim walked to me. "Take care, Baby. Heal up quick man, we've got stuff to take care of." He dropped a kiss on top of my head before walking out the door.

"How you feelin', Tore?" Soda asked.

"Physically fine, emotionally not so great." I answered not looking at him.

"We're all here for you."

"Thanks."

I slipped into my thoughts as Soda rustled around in the kitchen. Several trains of thought later a hand touched my shoulder and I jumped about a foot in the air. "Easy Baby Filly, it's just me." The voice was familiar, but the nickname was new. I slowly lifted my head to look at him and the only emotion I saw in Steve's eyes was concern. "I won't hurt ya."

"I know." I answered softly.

"Come on breakfast is ready." Soda said.

"I'm not hungry." I answered.

"You got to eat something, Lizzie Beth." Dally said.

"I'm not hungry." I answered again.

"Come on please, just a bit of toast and orange juice?" Soda asked. I shivered being surrounded by guys and Soda sat down on the edge of the coffee table. "Please Tore, just a little bit?" He prodded.

"Fine, just a little." I answered. Soda grinned and Pony brought me a plate and a glass. I looked at it and saw that it was plain and I couldn't move to eat it.

"What's wrong Filly? It's not gonna bite." Steve said.

When I didn't say anything Dally spoke up, "You said you'd eat." I bit my lip and looked from it to Dally who was holding my orange juice. He rolled his eyes and smirked. "Still?" He asked. I shrugged. "She needs grape jelly."

"On toast?" Steve asked.

"Be glad it's not ketchup on eggs." Dally said. "You still do that, don't you?"

"Only when I wake up pissed." I answered.

"Ok," Soda shrugged before leaving then coming back with the jar and a knife. I flinched as I heard him approach but relaxed when he handed me the jelly.

"Anything else you need Filly?" Steve asked. I shook my head and after spreading the jelly on my toast I started to eat.

"What's the deal with the new nickname?" Dally asked.

"Tim calls her 'Baby' and I didn't want to infringe on his territory. Problem?" Steve asked.

"Nope, glad you know your spot." Dally answered.

Suddenly out of nowhere I heard Darry call, "Someone let that damn dog in." I flinched and screwed my eyes shut as Mitch flashed across my mind introducing himself over and over again. "They call me Showdog ... Call me Showdog ... Showdog..." My breathing and heart rate quickened and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't keep feeling like this. It made me vulnerable and I didn't like it.

"Easy Baby Filly, come on relax, he's just talking about Terror. Please relax, come on calm down." Steve urged. Dally grabbed my chin and jerked my head up.

"Look at me, Tore." He said firmly. I opened my eyes and stared at him fearfully. "Listen to me carefully, I promise you he won't be coming near ya again, understand?" I nodded but could still hear him in my head.

"He's still there." I whispered.

"And it will fade overtime but you can't let him control you. Come on I know that strong girl I raised is in there somewhere. Find her and depend on her." Dally answered stroking my cheek.

"I don't want to be strong."

"I know Lizzie, I know." Soon there was a mass of fur and bones butting against my side. I looked at it and saw Terror sitting there. As I smiled he licked my face and gave me a puppy dog grin.

"It's alright buddy, I'll be fine." I told my puppy. He must not have been too convinced because he lay his head down in my lap. Maybe he was just trying to get the crumbs off my plate I didn't know but I was going with he was trying to comfort me.

"You've got your grape jelly and your puppy now finish up." Dally said. I finished about half the toast and orange juice before I couldn't eat any more.

"Dally, I'm not hungry anymore."

"Lizzie."

"I can't."

"Alright." The normal chaos was subdued this morning but my thoughts were running all over the place especially when Johnny and Two-Bit didn't show up. Pony kept to his room mainly after that first glance at him during breakfast.

They're disgusted with me. That's why they're not coming around. They're disgusted and don't want to see your tainted, trashy body. You should have just let him go all the way it couldn't have made it any worse for you. Part of me wanted to get rid of those thoughts especially since I still didn't know Johnny that well but a tiny part of me believed those thoughts were right. A hand brought me out of my thoughts and I flinched. I looked up to see Darry standing there.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Do you need me to stay here and take the day off?" He asked. I looked away from him and back at the floor and my puppy. Even though I wished he would I knew he couldn't so I shook my head and he walked away.

"Filly, do you need me to take the day off? You know I would in a heartbeat if you asked." Steve said pausing in the doorway. Once again I shook my head thinking I shouldn't have to ask. He too walked away and soon when I looked up the room was still and Dally had fallen asleep again. I stood up and took a long hot shower trying to rid myself of the disgusting feeling but only managed to make my skin a light pink color so after I dried off and got dressed I walked back to my room and laid down on the floor.

I woke up briefly to see Terror curl up next to me before falling into an even deeper sleep. It was plagued by nightmares but none of them were bad enough to wake me up. I only woke later on when I was lifted off the floor and into a set of arms. "What's going on?" I asked.

"I didn't mean to wake you, Lizzie." Dally said sitting down with me on his lap.

"Let me go, Dally, I don't deserve a bed."

"You deserve a lot of things Lizzie, definitely more than I could ever give you. Stop squirming and let me give you what I can." Dally answered tightening his grip.

"No, put me back on the floor. I'm dirty, tainted, and trashy. I don't deserve anything you try to give me, just let me go."

"Stop it right now, Victoria. I'm sick and tired of hearing people put themselves down especially girls. You deserve a shit load more than I could ever give you so stop trying to push me away when I can give you something. Stop trying to decide you are something you're not. You'll never convince me of that."

"Then why didn't Two-Bit—"

"Two-Bit had to baby-sit Jackie this morning and Johnny is in there talking to Pony."

"I just ..." I floundered for something to say but couldn't come up with anything so I went back to protesting. "Just put me back down and stop trying to act like you care. I know you don't. Go and leave me alone."

"Victoria Elizabeth, would you stop degrading yourself? You are not trash nor are you tainted." Dally stood up and laid me down on the bed. Before I could get up he walked around the bed and lay down next to me.

"Dally."

"Hush up so I can sleep, savvy?"

"Fine." There was no point in arguing with him. I'd never win so I lay still for a while until I saw Dally's breathing even out. Then I rolled over to get up but he threw an arm around my waist pulling me back to his side.

"I told you before Liz, you're staying right here." He whispered in my ear. As good as I was at pretending I was bawling that's how good he was at playing possum. I guess I had forgotten about it otherwise I wouldn't have tried it. My father could never beat a sleeping kid so Dally had taught himself how to convincingly feign sleep. I growled softly and moved back to lying against Dally.

"Dally ... do you really think I'm not tainted or trashy?" I asked quietly.

"No." He answered harshly. A tear slipped out as he rested his chin on my arm. "I know you're not. Sylvia, Kathy, and Evie are trashy. You're sweet and innocent."

"Yeah right."

"I'm serious T; you are one of the sweetest broads I know. And where did you get the idea that you're tainted? Did he put that idea in your head? Liz, don't give anything he said any thought. You're young, beautiful, sweet, caring, and tough. You're amazing just the way you are, now go to sleep." Dally said laying his head back down. I flipped over and rested my head near his chest letting his heartbeat lull me to sleep.

When I woke up it was about three o'clock and the bed next to me was empty. I sat up and stretched before walking out the living room. I noticed then that Two-Bit was sitting on the floor and Johnny and Pony were on the couch. "Hi." I said softly looking at my feet.

"Tore, come sit down." Two-Bit said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course." I nodded and sat down next to him looking at my lap. "What's wrong? You look like a hippo that ate some potato chips."

"How would you know what that looks like?" Pony asked.

"I went to the zoo." Two-Bit said proudly.

"You went to the zoo and fed a hippo potato chips?" I asked.

"Not on purpose." Two-Bit answered.

"I'm sure." I said softly.

"At least I got a smile out of you." I grinned again, glancing at Two-Bit. "There we go a beautiful smile for a beautiful girl."

"Two-Bit." I said.

"What? It's true. I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier, I had to keep an eye on Jackie."

"Where is she now?"

"Out with a couple of friends."

"You're not worried, are you?"

"Me? Never." I grinned and leaned against him. When he wrapped his arm around me I tried not to flinch, but I guess he felt it because he dropped his arm. "I'm sorry." Two-Bit said.

"Yeah, me too." I stood to leave but felt myself falling back into his lap.

"Toria, look, you're still the same girl I knew two days ago, the guy was a jerk and he shouldn't have done it. He didn't change you in any way." I leaned back against him trying to control the shivers and tremors running down my back. "I won't hurt you, Tore. You know that. You're Steve's girl and you're not my type." He told me. I nodded. I leaned back against him for a few minutes then slid out of his lap laying down on the floor resting my head on his leg. Two-Bit laid a hand on my arm and trailed his fingers up and down slowly putting me back to sleep.

Later that day Dally came in but blew straight past the living room as if I wasn't important. I bit my lip and looked away. "Get up." Two-Bit said rubbing my back. I looked down at my feet as I stood. "He had to pee, kid." Two-Bit said as Dally came back.

"Oh, well ... why'd I have to get up?"

"My leg's asleep." Two-Bit answered standing and stretching.

"Dally, did you ever—" Johnny started.

"No, but I'm still looking." Dally answered from behind me.

"At what?" I asked.

"Nothing Lizzie." Dally said. He dropped down into the chair by the door and I bent myself over backwards to stretch out my back. Suddenly Kelsey came in the door just then and looked at me.

"Shawn heard what happened from Ann and he talked to Robby. They want to make you a deal that is going to be hard for you to resist. I'm pretty neutral on the idea but it may be better that you do take it." She said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Hey Babe, we ... that is Robby and I, heard what happened last night and thought you might—" Shaw said stumbling in the door and sitting on the edge of the couch.

"Who are these guys?" Dally snapped cutting Shawn off.

"Right, I forgot you never met them. Kelsey and Shawn Ridder, my big brother Dallas Winston and his friends: Johnny Cade, Ponyboy Curtis, and Two-Bit Mathews. Shawn and Two-Bit, I think you guys have met. Guys, this is my 14 year old friend Kelsey Ridder and her 16 year old brother Shawn. Kels and I were really good friends before she moved here to the city." I answered standing back up. For that split second that I had introduced them I had forgotten I wasn't supposed to know that they had already met.

"What exactly do you want?" Dally asked.

"Our friend Robby Anderson lives on the edge of town." Shawn said hesitantly.

"You're not going to try to convince my sister to leave the city are you?" Dally asked.

"No, not really." Shawn answered. "It's just that Robby's got this new Thoroughbred last weekend at the horse auction that he wants you to come out and help train."

"You're kidding."

"I don't kid about Thoroughbreds, maybe about a Paint or a Palomino but never about a Thoroughbred."

"I don't know Shawn, it's an awful far distance to travel every day."

Shawn looked around the room and then in Spanish he told me that Robby and his parents were okay with me staying at their place as long as it was okay with my guardian. They thought I was staying with an old family friend which was sorta true.

When I responded that none of the boys in the living room understood Spanish, Shawn nodded and asked me what I thought.

"What did you two just say?" Two-Bit asked.

"He told me not to worry about it. Robby and Shawn are both willing to make the trip. Coming from him I'm more reassured in Spanish than in English." I said, quickly.

"And what did you tell him?" Two-Bit asked.

"That I really couldn't force them but if he lets me think about it I'll be more inclined."

"He says if you turn him down he'll ask Tommy to do it." Shawn put in.

"24 hours?" I asked.

Shawn nodded. "Good but do think about it."

I nodded and followed Shawn and Kelsey out the front door.

"What did you really tell her in Spanish? I know it didn't have anything to do with you making the trip."

"Just that Robby wants her to stay with him. I don't think her brother's happy about that. She replied that they didn't speak Spanish." Shawn said.

"If there's a way we can work it that can get Dally used to the idea that I'm staying with Robby, then it'll be better and I'd love to hear it. You heard what he said before Shawn even introduced the idea." I added.

"Yeah, I guess." Kelsey said.

"So are you gonna do it?" Shawn asked.

"I don't know. Let me talk to Soda first, alright? Then I'll give Robby a call."

"Take care Babe." Shawn and Kelsey left and I sat on the swing on the porch. There was no way for me to convince Dally that I needed to do this. After everything that had happened the night before he wasn't going to let me just go without a fight. Unless I put up the fight in front of his friends. That would make him let me go.

I really do hope this is all believable.