Author's Note: Oh, this chapter. Wow, we're already here. *looks to current chapter, looks back* Uh-oh. Anyway, so this was a fun one to write. Like I said this is like a new "part" to the story, there will be more character interactions and some characters that have been briefly mentioned will appear a lot more. I do know that time goes by fairly quickly in the next couple chapters too, so I hope you don't mind that. Anyway, here's this chapter... and this was written in tribute to one of my other friends. This was extremely difficult for her, and I feel that this sheds some light on some new issues. No trigger warning though, so no need to worry :).
Oh, also these next few chapters are going to start exploring my theory about Kenny's curse. Like I said it's just a theory, but before I started writing this story I probably researched this for about a year alone, so it's kind of my baby. I've only found one other person who has ever had similar thoughts, and it revolves around a certain character in the Cthulhu Mythos... not Cthulhu. I did know I would use this in my story once I got the idea for it... so there will be several hints throughout the chapters revolving around my theory. Once it's finally out though I'm going to make a really long tumblr post with my ideas about it as a general theory rather than for this story alone. The only thing I can say right now is all Kenny knows about his curse is that he is Death; this may or may not be true. And he doesn't know the full power behind his curse, if there are any other powers besides immortality.
Now, if you have any ideas on what I'm thinking- by all means, let me know. :) And also you should check out the-wrong-fucking-cowboy on tumblr because that person is a genius with Mysterion. Holy hell I haven't ever had that many feels from someone's RP before. But seriously, go to their tumblr and feel the feels.
Thank you all so much for reading. And oh! I thought I'd do a quick shout out as I just checked my stats :), hello to the readers from Australia and Ireland! Thanks so much for reading, you're awesome! Those are two countries I really want to go to, and my family is full-blood Irish, so... yeah! Kinda cool :). Anywho, thanks so much for reading, everyone. I like doing shout-outs though. We'll see who I shout out to next chapter :).
Oh, and in case he reads this, one of my online friends on here, Specimen 12, deserves tons of congratulations right now: DAVID! I am so happy for you! I couldn't be more proud and I hope you have a fabulously amazing time! :D You did this on your own, dear. I'm just glad I could help grant you the courage to not be afraid of who you are :).
And last but in no way least, happy birthday, Cal. It's been a great one.
Title from "Brick" by Ben Folds Five
Chapter Thirty-Five: She's a Brick and I'm Drowning Slowly
"So... it just happened like that?" Bebe asked, taking a drag from the cigarette and passed it to Kenny. He nodded and looked out over the icy pond as the carcinogens warmed his body. "You're like... an adult now then?"
"Yup. I just can't buy alcohol or cigarettes..."
"That fucking sucks, what's the point?" Kenny laughed softly and shrugged his shoulders as he flicked the ashes off the butt of the cigarette. He breathed in the smoke once more and sighed heavily as he exhaled.
"The point is, my dear, I'm emancipated, so I'm not a dependent of my father." Bebe grew silent and rested her head on his shoulders. Her long blonde tendrils tickled his face yet he said nothing as they stared into the night sky. "The only sucky thing is I'm moving out of Kyle's house."
"Why does that suck?" Kenny just gave her a look and shrugged his shoulders as she curled into him.
"'Cause, I dunno, they helped me a lot and shit. And Karen too."
"Wait, can she live with you?" Kenny nodded.
"Yeah, she can. I filed to become her legal guardian... we have another hearing in March."
"Are you gonna come to school looking like a penguin again?" Kenny sighed heavily and nodded. "Well, I guess you didn't look like a penguin... you looked like a sharp-dressed man."
"ZZ Top! My faith in you has been restored." Bebe scoffed and shoved him lightly as he chuckled. "What about you? How'd Clyde handle it?"
"Uh... he was surprised that I like tits too. But we're still together for the time being. He asked me if I touch mine..."
"Do you?" He teased with a grin. Bebe groaned and slapped Kenny's shoulder. He pulled away from her and held up his hands as she began her attack. Of course, he tripped and nearly hit his head on a rock. He was surprised to be breathing. Bebe just kicked him, rather than worried about him, and sat down on the rock he could have bashed his skull into.
"No!" She barked, offering a hand to help him up, but the disbelieving look on his face made her retreat, "fine. Yes. Do you ever miss tits and pussy?" Kenny shrugged.
"I dunno, yeah, I guess. Sometimes. But..."
"But... what?" Bebe pressed, her smile growing. Kenny shrugged his shoulders as he opened a text on his phone.
"But I would rather have Butters, I mean... he's soft and has curves too. And he's just... I dunno. He's perfect. It's not just about sex though," Bebe scoffed, "no, I'm serious. We've only had sex once. Well, anal, I mean."
"You're kidding." She blurted rather than asked.
"Not since... y'know, the rape and everything. It's still difficult to even be hugged sometimes, but... it's better."
"Not even Butters?" He shook his head.
"I mean, I would, but... I hated it. It all just felt wrong and I hated it." Bebe smiled sadly at him and took his hand in hers. "Can you believe that was already four months ago? I can't... sometimes I still have nightmares." he admitted. "But... Butters, he's like... my other half." He felt her hands squeeze his and she smiled softly. He rested her head on her chest and her fingers raked gently through his hair as they stared out at the pond.
"I didn't believe it when I first heard it. I mean, you... getting raped? I always thought it'd be other way around, actually."
"Hey!"
"But that's what made it so much... sadder. Like, you're Kenny. That shit doesn't happen to you. And then you were just... gone. No one really knows what happened, but they know something did. You were like..."
"Not Kenny, that's how everyone described it. For awhile I thought 'Not' was my first name." He joked, causing her to laugh sadly as she rubbed his arm soothingly.
"It was scary. But that was the past and now you're emancipated and you're happy, right?" Kenny nodded and smiled up at her.
"I can honestly say this is probably the happiest I've ever been." He mused, then pulled his head from her shoulder. "Hey, B? Have you ever touched another girl's titties?"
"You still say 'titties'?" Kenny nodded, grinning brightly. "Yes, I have."
"And you didn't record it?! Selfish."
"Then you'll be really upset that I didn't record me licking her pussy either." Kenny groaned woefully and fell down on the ground as he pretended to writhe in pain.
"You're killin' me!" He wailed, laughing as she toppled on top of him and started play punching him.
"You expect me to record my sexual endeavors when you won't even tell me a thing about Butters?!" She barked, slapping his cheek lightly. Kenny looked up at her with shining eyes and a happy grin and for a moment she backed away; he looked so innocent.
"What would you like to know?"
"EVERYTHING! How do you think this bitch gets off?!"
"By her boyfriend...?" Bebe scoffed and pulled herself off of Kenny.
"Trust me, just the thought of you and Butters has made me come harder than Clyde's ever done." Kenny grinned mischievously and all thoughts of him being innocent flooded her mind. Kenny looked at her with a smug expression as he sat up.
"Well... he chokes me. Like, he's a fucking monster... biggest dick ever and I've seen a lot of dicks. And he's a scratcher and a biter."
"Bull shit." Bebe said, then gaped as Kenny pulled off his shirt and turned around. His back was lined with scratches and abrasions in his flesh. He then faced her and pointed to his collar bone where the skin was red and inflamed. There were hickeys covering him from neck to the waistline of his jeans; Bebe nearly whimpered when she realized they probably didn't stop there. "Jesus fucking Christ..." she reached to touch the teeth puncture on his collarbone, causing him to wince.
"It still hurts!" he exclaimed, pulling himself away from her. "And I'm a little bit of a masochist so..." Kenny trailed off and smirked at her flushed cheeks, "Jesus, bitch you're in fucking heat."
"I'm desperate," Bebe moaned woefully.
"If I wasn't in a relationship I would totally help you with that..."
"Ugh, don't even say that." She moaned, slumping herself against him, "you don't know how bad I miss you." Kenny smirked and rested his head on hers. Suddenly, he perked up.
"Let's find you a slut." He murmured, she peered at him curiously.
"Or you can keep telling me about you and Butters." Kenny scoffed.
"Fuck that, I'm offering to get you fucking laid. I'm not letting you rub the nub to fantasies of me and my boyfriend."
"Would you be down to a threesome?" She asked, Kenny groaned in annoyance and laughed as he stood up.
"So who are the lesbians in our school?" Bebe shrugged her shoulders and lowered her head. Kenny gazed at her curiously and stopped. "Bis?"
"Only guys, that I know of," she mumbled, looking away. Kenny gripped her shoulder and turned her chin to him. Tears burned her eyes and his smile faded.
"Hey... Bebe, what...?" She shook her head and wrapped her arms around him as she sobbed into his chest. He grimaced and hugged her tightly as he tried to calm her down.
"I... I don't want some random whore..." Bebe whimpered against him, "I... I want Wendy."
Kenny's eyes widened and he looked down at the short girl in utter shock. She cried harder, yet silently, as she saw his expression and shook her head.
"Y-you... you like Wendy?" He whispered, feeling his own heart ache as he said the words. She nodded feebly and he held her tightly.
Everyone knew the raven-haired girl was a strong supporter and LGBT activist. Except that's all she was; an ally. She went to the meetings Bebe held, of course the blonde claimed ally as well, and had even done some campaigning throughout the school. She just wan't ready to come out as bisexual yet, even though she was the one to lead the LGBT club at school. And now Bebe liked Wendy.
But Wendy liked Cartman, as disgusting as that was. And that was the kicker.
"Why... why can't I be a fucking fat jerk?" She sobbed, Kenny laughed and held her close as he rubbed circles on her back.
"Because you'd still be a fat chick jerk." He tried to be funny but she seemed to fall apart. "Hey, I'm sorry... y'know, for being such an activist she is really fucking ignorant. I mean, look at you B, you're absolutely beautiful. I don't get how any guy or girl could look at you and not want you."
"Not even you do," she whimpered, Kenny sighed heavily. He always had a soft spot for Bebe; she still had the biggest boobs in class, after all. And they were so comfortable. At that, he rested his head on her chest and smiled happily as she ran her hands through his hair.
"Hey now, I'm in a very happy relationship. But that doesn't mean you can't be either. So what if it's not Wendy... or me for that matter. You have Clyde; he really cares about you. You and Clyde have been together since like 4th grade."
"I don't know if I love him, Kenny. He says it to me and I just... I can't. Why are the people I love unavailable?" Kenny froze on the spot and slowly looked down at her. "You know what I mean, you love me too." He nodded as she rested her head on his lap. He braided her hair absentmindedly as they just sat there in silence.
"You deserve to be happy," Kenny mumbled finally, after her quiet sobs had stopped. She sniffled and looked up at him. "I mean, everyone does. If Clyde isn't the one then don't waste your time... and don't waste your time on Wendy, either. She's a bitch if she can't realize she's pretty much leading you on."
"Do you really think I'm beautiful?" Bebe finally asked, quietly. Kenny nodded.
"Yeah, course I do." he replied, "I mean... look at you. Also, you have the most rockin' titties I've ever seen." She laughed and shook her head at Kenny, who smiled affectionately down at her.
"Did you know you're the first person to call me beautiful?" Bebe murmured. Kenny shook his head and she nodded. "It's always hot or sexy or slutty." Kenny scoffed.
"You're beautiful, Bebe. Don't think otherwise." She hugged Kenny and rested her head on his shoulder as they stared up at the night sky. He draped his arm around her and took her hand. "And I'm gonna help you be happy, okay?" She nodded and Kenny smiled softly as he began to hum.
Bebe ended up falling asleep on him. He didn't really mind, she was light and her house wasn't too far from here. He carried her to his bike and sat her on the back. She woke up slightly, enough to allow him to tell her how to hold on to him. Kenny felt her head on the back of his shoulder and her hands wrapped around him tightly, so he turned on his bike and, carefully, drove through the streets. Due to the falling snow it took longer for him to get to her house and she was shivering from the wind, so he picked her up and hurriedly carried her to the front porch.
"Bebe, B, time to wake up..." he murmured, tapping her face gently. She moaned quietly and looked up at him with tired eyes. She smiled softly and he beamed down at her. "You're gonna be cold for a while, I'd go take a shower and get some warm clothes on."
"Kenny, you're too good to me," she murmured, hugging him tightly as she put her feet on the ground and wobbled slightly. He shrugged his shoulders and patted her butt lightly to usher her inside. She rolled her eyes and he grinned as she unlocked the door. "I'll see you tomorrow?" He nodded and coughed lightly into his sleeve.
"Yeah, and remember what I said, okay?" She nodded and smiled affectionately at him before closing the door.
Kenny pulled out his phone as he walked to his bike. He slipped on ice and nearly fell but regained his step and looked around quickly to make sure no one saw. Seeing it was all clear, he continued his nonchalant walk and finally read the message from Kyle.
From: Kyle
Received: 12:38AM
Are you on the way? It's snowing really bad. Be careful.
Kenny smiled and pocketed his phone as he started up the engine once more and, for show, peeled out from the curb and sped down the street. He knew it was stupid, but it would make Bebe laugh.
He drove three blocks and turned into the driveway. Kenny had passed by Butters' house and saw his light was off so he had decided to just head to Kyle's. He hurried up to the garage door and typed in the security code, then once the door was open, he pulled his bike into the garage and stood in the warmth... which really wasn't warm at all, but he was chilled to the bone from the wind and snow.
The door opened and Kyle tutted angrily, much like his mother, when seeing Kenny shivering and rather blue, and practically dragged him inside the house. He appeared as if he had just woken up as he sat Kenny onto one of he chairs and handed him a cup of tea.
"What the fuck are you doing just getting home now?" Kyle barked quietly as he heated Kenny's now cold dinner. He shrugged his shoulders and stood up from the table to help, yet Kyle pushed him back down. "Are you high?" Kyle asked, able to smell the distinct scent of pot on Kenny's clothes. Kenny shrugged his shoulders.
"Little bit. I got a text from Bebe-"
"Bebe?! What the hell?" Kenny sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders. No one knew they met at least twice a week, like they used to, just to talk. Well, Butters knew now and he didn't mind, but other than that their meetings were a secret. Mostly because she didn't want Clyde finding out.
"We just talked, she's going through some stuff and..." Kenny stiffened as he felt Kyle hug him tightly and he furrowed his eyebrows. He was confused.
"Jesus, I thought something happened to you."
Oh.
Kenny shook his head and grimaced as he shoveled down the heated lasagna. He wasn't tired, although he should be, and he had homework to finish, so he didn't have much time to listen to Kyle's worrying.
"Chill, I'm fine." Kyle sighed heavily and pulled up a chair next to him.
"I can't help it, you texted over an hour ago saying you got off early and were coming home. Considering you work in Fairplay..." Kenny waved him off and nodded.
"Well, me an' my pretty butt are fine and untouched." Kyle smiled softly and stole a bite of his lasagna. Kenny shivered lightly as he put his hands around the hot cup to warm his fingers; they were never warm. "I'm just worried about Bebe..."
"You worry about everyone except yourself," Kyle commented, causing Kenny to shrug and look down at the table. That was true, but he was the one who couldn't die. He was the one who could deal with crap because if he couldn't he could just shoot himself in the head and come back that same night. "But why?"
"Ugh..." Kenny grumbled, running a hand through his hair. "I don't even know where to start..."
He didn't want to tell Kyle; he didn't think he had the right. But at the same time Kyle wouldn't exactly go around telling people. Kenny shook his head and looked up at his friend who looked genuinely concerned.
"There's some stuff going on between her and Clyde and it's really stressing her out," that wasn't exactly lying; he was just avoiding the full truth. "But you can't tell anyone."
"Stan's not included?"
"You and him are the same person to me, so..." Kyle laughed at this and Kenny smirked as he pushed his food away. "You can have the rest," the redhead looked at him curiously, which Kenny tried to ignore as he washed his cup and took off his parka.
Kyle didn't argue as he put away the half-eaten lasagna. He heard Kenny cough harshly in his sleeve and grimaced; he had had it since Christmas. Kyle briefly wondered if it was due to his smoking.
"You can go to bed," Kenny mumbled as he sat on the couch in the living room. "I've got homework to do, and then I'm gonna shower."
"How much?" Kyle asked, Kenny laughed a little.
"I haven't even fucking started, it's fine," he quickly added at Kyle's worried gaze. "I'm not tired, anyways, so..."
As Kenny was left alone and began to work on his homework, he realized that was a vicious lie. Halfway through his anatomy assignment, he found himself dozing off, yet slapped his face and shook his head. He couldn't put off the assignment any longer; the court had barely accepted his petition for emancipation because his attendance and grades at school were so iffy. However, he had been trying harder and was now a B average rather than his near D at the beginning of the year.
Working, school, and trying to maintain a social life was kicking his ass. Unfortunately, he knew his social life would be the first of those three things to go. He had already started to feel a distance from his friends, and even Butters, who could barely talk to him anyway considering his parents were so crazy. It sucked, but Kenny knew it would be worth it in the end.
Finally after forty-five minutes his anatomy homework was finished and he moved on to math. He honestly didn't care about if the answers were right. Kenny barely looked at the problems and figured he had come up with reasonable answers, and that was good enough for him. English was easier; he simply had to finish a rough draft of the current essay they had to write. He had chosen to write a persuasive essay and his topic was "why marijuana should be legal in all 50 states". That was easy for him.
After sketching three drawings for his art journal, he tossed his homework into his frayed book bag; he had used the same bag since third grade and it had been Kevin's before that, and set it by the stairs. He checked the time, grimaced when seeing it was 2:15 in the morning and chose to shower in the basement rather than upstairs; he didn't want to wake anyone.
His mind was rather numb as he stood in the warm cascading water. Kenny didn't feel up to jerking off and the water seemed to cool off fast. He stepped out of the shower when he couldn't stand the cold any longer and checked the time on his phone. Kenny groaned in annoyance and flopped onto the couch in the basement. He was wide awake and didn't want to bother Kyle; he'd probably stay up all night.
He began scrolling through his Facebook but found all of the people on there annoyed the crap out of him. Kenny, out of boredom, opened Butters' page; he hardly ever did that. His profile picture was one of them together, which made him smile, but there wasn't a lot of information on there. Kenny didn't mind that his profile didn't say he was in a relationship; in fact his gender, interested in, and relationship status didn't even appear on his page.
Kenny smiled at his latest status, it had been posted five hours ago.
Butters Stotch- Updated 5 Hours Ago:
I'll hear your song if you want me to. I'll sing along. And it's a chance I'll have to take, and it's a chance I'll have to break. I'm in love with you. So in love...
He recognized the lyrics from a Smashing Pumpkins song he had played for Butters one of the last times they had hung out. Kenny sighed heavily and 'liked' it even though his dad would probably freak out on him; Kenny didn't care enough. Yet as he looked through his friends, Kenny realized he didn't have any family members on his Facebook.
His phone vibrated and it caused him to jump in shock. Kenny saw it was a text from Butters and he shook his head.
From: Lee!
Received: 2:48AM
I can't sleep. What are you doing up?
Kenny smiled as he texted back.
To: Lee!
Sent: 2:48AM
i just took a shower and creeped on your fb. =] i cant sleep either. why dont you have the rents as friends?
Kenny yawned and laid back on the couch as he saw the ellipses which told him Butters was typing. This would be a moment he wouldn't mind smoking a joint or a bowl... or playing guitar in his odd way that Stan hated.
From: Lee!:
Received: 2:50AM
I see that! Are we becoming Style? Do you get up and pee in the middle of the night? I don't. And I have two separate accounts and my entire family is blocked from the one my friends have. I created a completely random email address for it. Whyyy?
To: Lee!
Sent: 2:51AM
hahaha uh dont think so maybe you just woke up cuz your phone went off? but i sometimes get up not to pee just to walk around. or think. shit thats awesome and cuz i was wonderin if youd get in trouble if i liked stuff on your page or...
Kenny quickly scrolled onto his Facebook and changed his relationship status. He sent a request to Butters and opened their chat as he waited for him to respond. Kenny turned on his side and rested his his arm as he stared at his phone.
His phone buzzed and he saw he had a new notification on Facebook. He grinned. Moments later, his phone vibrated again and he opened the conversation with Butters.
From: Lee!
Received: 2:53AM
I love you :) I'm going to sleep now. I'll see you bright and early, facebook official boyfriend.
To: Lee!
Sent: 2:53AM
kk sleep well leopold. i love you too!
Kenny shut off his screen and silently tip-toed up the stairs. He wasn't quite ready to go up to Kyle's room; he knew he'd just toss and turn, and Kyle always thought he was having nightmares. So Kenny sat at the table and turned on the lamp. He began to sketch what came to his head and let his mind wander. Usually he had a goal in mind but tonight he didn't want to set his mind on something. In fact, he didn't think about anything. He just made lines and followed them over and over again to create smooth shadows.
He hadn't known when he fell asleep but he was jolted awake by someone shaking his shoulder. Kenny startled and pulled away from the force, to find Kyle looking at him worriedly. Kenny yawned and lifted his head from its bent position; his neck was sore, and he looked around.
"Don't tell me it's 6:30," Kenny croaked as he rubbed his eyes. Kyle shook his head.
"6:50, Kenny... are you sure you wanna go to school? You're exhausted." Kenny waved his hand and stood up on wobbly legs. He glanced down at the sketchbook on the table and shook his head. All it had become was shapes and shadow. It was nothing.
"'m fine, I got enough sleep. I don't work tonight, anyway." Kyle shook his head as he walked into the kitchen. He could hear Karen and Ike talking as they started to come down the stairs.
"What time did you even pass out? And Jesus, finally. When's the last time you had a night off?" Kyle asked as he poured himself some juice and popped a piece of bread in the toaster. Kenny sighed and tossed his book bag on he couch.
"I dunno, probably like 3:30... maybe 4:00, I dunno, good question." Kenny mumbled; he needed the hours and the money. Kyle didn't understand that. The more money he had now the less he had to work when he and Karen lived on their own.
He quickly ran upstairs, passing by his sister and Ike, and hurried into a pair of old jeans and a Pearl Jam t-shirt before stuffing himself into his parka. He brushed his teeth and combed his hair at the same time; his hair was always messy, anyway so it didn't really matter. As Kenny ran down the stairs, he slipped his feet into a pair of socks and nearly tripped on the fourth stair.
"Kenny, you look like death," Karen teased, causing him to roll his eyes as he stole Kyle's juice.
"That's ironic," he mumbled to himself. He then took a gulp of juice, then handed it back to him. That wouldn't be strong enough. He needed coffee.
They arrived at school five minutes before the final bell ran. Kenny was nursing his coffee cup all the way to his locker; it took all of his will power to tear himself from it. He quickly stuffed his bag in his locker and pulled out his books. He looked around for Butters, grimaced when he didn't see him, and walked to his first class; math.
This was the only class he had without his friends and he hated it. Of course, they were all better at him in math; they were in pre-calc while he was in advanced algebra 2. He didn't quite understand what they were learning now but he got a C on his homework so he couldn't complain. Though when they checked it in class he did change some of the answers.
French, history, anatomy, and government were his next classes. The only reason he was in French was because he had already taken two years of Spanish and wanted to learn a different language. Other than art, languages were probably his favorite subjects. Except this teacher liked to talk about her relationships rather than actually teaching them something. Thankfully Butters was in this class... except he wasn't there today. Texting was prohibited in school yet his teacher was in the middle of a slideshow of her ex-boyfriend who really was an ex-girlfriend.
To: Lee!
Sent: 9:37AM
are you at school? :( je nai pas mon amour avec moi!
He received no reply which worried him. Kenny constantly checked his phone during the rest of French and through history, which he also had with Butters, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman. About halfway through the class, Kenny tapped Stan's arm.
The black haired boy turned around and looked at him curiously.
"Have you seen Butters?" He asked, the name felt so foreign to his tongue. Stan shook his head and Kenny frowned as he glanced at his phone once more.
"Maybe he's sick?" Stan suggested.
"Nah, his parents make him come to school if he's sick."
"Weak," Stan murmured with a grimace, then turned around and tapped Kyle on the shoulder. He whispered something to him and Kyle glanced to Kenny, then shook his head and whispered back. Stan turned now to the blonde, who had been watching to make sure their teacher wouldn't catch them. "Ky says he wasn't in pre-calc or chemistry."
Kenny sighed, then raised his hand. Their teacher, Mr. Jacobs, looked up at him and sent him an exasperated glare.
"Yes, Kenny?"
"Can I go to the bathroom?"
"Can you...?" Kenny groaned in annoyance and stood up as Kyle and Stan snickered.
"May I please use the restroom?" He enunciated every word, much to the annoyance of Mr. Jacobs.
"No, you're bored. Answer five questions and then you can." Stan cackled now and Kyle hushed him before turning back to his assignment. Kenny made a whining noise.
"But..." Kenny whined, "I ate a breakfast burrito and if you want me to stink up the room like it's-" Kyle lost it now and their teacher waved his hands before he could finish.
"Fine, fine, go!" Kenny grinned and ran out of class, leaving his books behind.
He hurried down the hallway and didn't even stop to grab his coat. Kenny was out of the door in mere seconds and bolted down the stairs. His phone vibrated, he knew it was Kyle, and he shivered as he high tailed it down the mile to Butters' house.
Kenny regretted not grabbing his coat, but if he died he should be back in a couple of hours.
Five minutes had passed and he found himself slowing as he approached Butters' block. He peered at the house as he jogged and deemed it safe for him to be there. Butters' car was parked in the driveway, with frost and snow covering it. Kenny grimaced as he passed by it and hoisted himself effortlessly up onto the roof. He swung himself from the gutters and carefully planted his feet on the snow-covered tiles, then launched himself at Butters' window. He couldn't risk caution; he'd fall. As he clung to the window sill, he knocked twice on the glass and waited a few moments. He knocked again and almost cried in relief when Butters pulled back the curtain.
He instantly opened the window and Kenny helped him pull out the screen. Butters offered him a clammy hand; Kenny pulled himself through and shook the snow off of his body and hair.
"What are you doing?" Butters whispered hoarsely with a stuffy nose as he laid back down in his bed. Kenny looked around and saw all of the lights were off and he was ashen-faced.
"I came to check on you. You weren't at school and... I was worried," Kenny replied softly as he shut the window and drew the curtains once more. Butters moaned and turned on his back. "You're sick..." Butters nodded and Kenny smiled softly at Butters.
"My mom let me stay home 'cause..." he trailed off as he tried to catch his breath, "'cause I'm ahead in most of my classes and I have a fever." Kenny sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his hands together before touching his forehead; he felt as if he were on fire but Kenny's hands were always cold so he couldn't tell.
"Were you sick last night?" Butters shrugged his shoulders and hugged his pillow. Kenny pulled off his shoes and took off his clothes, except his boxers and laid in the bed next to Butters, who gave him an odd look. "My clothes are wet."
"You're freezing..." Butters murmured as he wrapped an arm around him and snuggled into his chest. Kenny caressed his back and pressed a kiss to his head as he held him. He felt Butters wince and he furrowed his eyebrows. He ran his hand over the spot again and Butters squirmed a little.
Kenny pressed a kiss to the back of his shoulder as he began to slowly lift the fabric of his shirt. Butters made a quiet noise as he tried to turn to Kenny.
"I'm really not up for that..." Butters whined quietly, but hushed at the gentle kissed Kenny placed on his back. His eyes found what he was looking for. Several red welts criss-crossed on his back, followed by a few bruises. Closing his eyes, Kenny felt anger surge through his body yet he knew he couldn't do anything right now. He'd bring it up later. He kissed the skin once more then pulled down his shirt.
"Are you up to cuddling? Or being spoon-fed? Or sponge bathed?" Butters laughed quietly and moaned in pain as he burrowed his head in Kenny's chest. "You're sick, you deserve pampering."
"Just... hold me for awhile." Kenny hummed happily and wrapped his arms comfortably around Butters, whose body radiated heat and his breathing was erratic. "Wait, are you skipping class?"
"Uh..." Kenny laughed and shrugged his shoulders, "technically it's lunch next hour so..." Butters rolled his eyes and wrapped his legs around Kenny's.
Butters soon fell asleep and Kenny dozed off as well. He couldn't help it; the bed was warm, Butters made him comfortable, and he was exhausted. Two hours had passed by the time he woke up yet Butters snuffled quietly as he nestled into his the crook of his arm. He had two texts from Kyle, one asking how Butters was and the other saying he covered for him in government.
"Lee...?" he whispered, shaking him slightly.
"No, stay..." Butters whined, digging his nails in his chest. Kenny smiled and ran his hand through his hair. Sweat dampened his hand and he grimaced.
"D'you need to take any medicine?" Kenny asked gently, sitting up. Butters groaned and tried to pull him down.
"Doesn't help..." the blonde nodded and massaged his boyfriend's shoulders, "you should get back to school..." Kenny grimaced and hugged him as he pressed a kiss to his flushed cheek. They stared at each other, foreheads pressed together, and Butters smiled as his eyes focused and unfocused.
"I thought you wanted me to stay."
"I do. God I do..." Butters whined, clinging to Kenny. "But I don't want you getting in trouble. But you make me feel better."
"Well... how about I go to class and come back with some soup or something at 4:00? I'm gonna work out with Stan." Butters grimaced as he ran a hand up his stomach.
"You couldn't stay long 'cause my parents..." Kenny nodded and cupped his cheeks in his hands.
"I know baby, and I'm sorry I got you sick. But I'll still come over, I'll walk from Kyle's and knock on your window twice... like I always do. If you don't answer I'll leave." Butters nodded and clumsily kissed his cheek. Kenny raked his fingers through his hair and pressed his lips on his flushed skin before pulling away.
"I love you," Butters murmured, closing his eyes as he cuddled a large pillow once more. Kenny smiled and quietly opened the window.
"I love you too," he whispered as he gracefully leaped from the window.
"18..." Stan counted above Kenny, who strained as he lifted the dumbbell. "C'mon dude, two more."
"I fucking know..." Kenny grunted, lowering his arms shakily, then lifted them again. Stan wiped sweat from his own brow and rotated his shoulders as he spotted for Kenny.
"19..." Kenny rolled his eyes and breathed heavily from his mouth as he locked his arms, held his position, then lowered the bar once more. He lifted once more, strained to hold it, and was too eager to set the bar down as he lay with his arms limp and panting.
"Aaaaand 20. Congratulations, you are now up to me." Kenny rolled his eyes as he laid on the station and stared up at Stan. The raven-haired boy offered a hand and he quickly took it as he stood up. Kenny swiped at the sweat dripping down his face and coughed lightly into his arm as they walked to the old gym. They would do what they normally do; race each other as long as they could, Kenny usually won, and then add whatever laps they had up to twenty. Then they would time each others' suicides, and if Stan didn't puke, or Kenny didn't fall over, they'd walk a mile.
They usually never walked.
"So... I heard you hung out with Bebe last night," Kenny rolled his eyes and nodded as he pushed open the doors to the old gym. They could faintly hear the basketball boys practicing; Kenny grimaced as he realized he'd have to wait for the twenty minute Style makeout session in the locker room to end before he could go to Butters'. He'd probably just walk again.
"Uh, yeah... we hang out a lot." Kenny mumbled, stretching his legs by the bleachers. He had to baby his right leg; he could hear it click all the time. The fact he hadn't gotten surgery and it had stopped bothering him was a miracle. "She's having some... problems, and I'm trying to help." Stan nodded as he tied his shoes and jumped a couple of times. Kenny furrowed his eyebrows at his method of 'stretching' but said nothing as he righted himself.
"D'you just wanna jog it today?" Stan asked, Kenny shrugged and began to follow the pace Stan set. To most their 'jogging' would be a run. "So... d'you still like her?" Kenny rolled his eyes once more and looked at Stan.
"I'm always gonna care about her, I lost my virginity with her."
"Really?" Kenny nodded.
"And we've always been close... but she's... I dunno. I love her, I just... don't love her, y'know?" Stan nodded.
"Like me and Wendy." Kenny gave a nod and grinned; he understood exactly what he meant.
"But anyway, so she told me something and she's having a lot of problems with it... and... it sucks. So I'm just trying to help her." Stan peered at him as they finished their first lap.
"What... is she having problems with, if I can know?" Kenny sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders as Stan picked up the pace. He thought for awhile about what to say... he didn't really know. He wasn't sure if he should tell him... so he decided to go with the lesser of two evils.
"She's not in love with Clyde," the blonde murmured as he looked at the ground. Stan whistled lowly and shook his head.
"They've been together forever... wait, did you two do it when she was dating him?" Kenny gave him a look, and the older boy laughed in disbelief. "He would have killed you!"
"Yeah, right," Kenny scoffed.
They fell into a comfortable silence as they continued their jog. Kenny found the burn in his muscles almost therapeutic as he pushed himself harder. When he was alone he'd end up duking it out with the punching bag in the weight room; that was better than running. But Stan wasn't one for boxing and he was always trying to improve his speed.
"So... what is she gonna do?" Kenny shrugged his shoulders. "I can't imagine that... I mean, I broke up with Wendy for that reason."
"I thought she broke up with you 'cause you kept pukin' on her," Kenny countered with a smirk. His run faltered as Stan shoved him.
"No!" Stan barked, though he laughed a little. "That really sucks though, I mean... Clyde really cares about her..."
"People change. I mean... who woulda thought I'd end up with Butters?" Stan chortled and nodded. "I mean, I love him... he's been my best friend for years. But... it was probably a shock."
"I think that's why it was so hard for me to get used to the idea. All I remember of you is... "look at those titties..."" Stan teased, as he made grabbing motions with his hands. Kenny rolled his eyes. "Sometimes I miss boobs... they're so soft."
"Butters is soft." Kenny mused, smiling a little. "But yeah, I miss boobs too. Sometimes."
"I don't... get you and Butters." Stan finally announced, causing Kenny to stop. Stan slowed and turned back to him. "Just... I mean, you guys barely hung out... until Hawaii, right? How did you guys even start...?" Kenny chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.
"I dunno, remember in fourth grade when I went through some stuff and you guys kinda ditched me and hung out with Butters and Tweek instead?" Stan slowly nodded and blushed a little. Kenny knew this was when he had died the longest death he ever had but he kept that to himself; only Butters and his family believed him, anyway. Everyone else thought he went through a loner phase. "Well, I kinda hated Butters for it... and Tweek. It was like... they're both blonde and kinda weird and they easily replaced me. But then I talked to them both and I realized why they replaced me... because they're both... I dunno, quirky?" Stan laughed out loud at that. "But then Butters and I started hanging out more, like through us all hanging out and I thought he was really nice and I hated always being with Cartman so he was a good break, plus he hated how Cartman treated him. So... I was kinda always protective of him after that. And then we went to Hawaii and we kinda became best friends-"
"What happened on that trip anyway?"
"Dude, I don't even fuckin' know. They ran out of their chi chis... which is pretty much a pina colada except it had vodka instead of rum. And I had to prove myself because I was an outsider, or what they called a Haole or something. So now I have Hawaii rewards points." Stan gave him a look and laughed quietly. "It's true... it was so weird."
"The letters you wrote to us were fucking weird."
"Well, that's my conscience."
"Humbly yours? I still remember that." Kenny grinned and shrugged his shoulders.
"Anyway, so after Hawaii I realized Butters was my best friend. I mean, you and Kyle were always super best friends and like I said Cartman fucking pisses me off... but Butters just wanted someone and I wanted someone so we kinda had each other. And he's everything I'm not. I liked him ever since we were twelve. His innocence and optimism is admirable, I mean, there's a lot you don't know about him. He's been through some really bad stuff, and the fact that he can stand with that smile of his today is just..." Kenny trailed off, shaking his head. "He's the strongest person I know."
"I always thought you were the strongest person I knew..." Stan mumbled, giving Kenny a look of admiration he didn't deserve. The blonde shrugged, shook his head, and smiled sadly.
"Obviously, I'm not. I'm messed up... Ms. C thinks I have OCD or something, I wash my hands all the time... well not so much anymore, I'm on medicine for it and it works. But it's not just from... you know..." Kenny trailed off, "I didn't grow up in the cleanest environment. One day I just cracked and my room was spotless and I never took off my shoes in my house and everything was in an order I could handle. It was the one thing I had control about. And I've always felt dirty... no matter how many times I wash my hands or shower, I still feel gross."
"That's pretty much OCD, dude." Kenny nodded, "have you ever... wanted to shoot up after that night?" Kenny shrugged.
"Yeah and no. I mean, it was the best high I've ever had. But the worst... I've seen what it does to people and I don't wanna be that. So, it's weird."
"That night, you were just... it was awful. It was like you had gone insane or something. I felt like I had your blood on me for weeks. I know you don't like talking about it but... it was awful to see you like that. I guess I always just thought you were invincible or something." Kenny snorted at that and smiled sadly, "I mean, Mysterion was so badass. And I dunno, I've never really seen you other than happy 'cept a couple of times." The blonde shrugged his shoulders and started running again, "or dismissive." He rolled his eyes at Stan's addition.
"I'm sorry that you had to see that," Kenny finally mumbled, "I dunno if I ever thanked you and Ky for helping... wanna race?" Stan grinned and bolted ahead of Kenny; he hoped for a head start.
Kenny won. After eight laps Stan gave up and shook his head as Kenny continued passed him. He continued running until he hit his 20th lap and waited for Kenny to finish his sudden burst of energy. The blonde slowed to a halt and panted heavily as he lifted his arms over his head. Stan offered his inhaler, which he had used, yet Kenny shook his head.
"How are things at home?" Kenny asked Stan, who shrugged his shoulders yet smiled appreciatively at Kenny.
"Uh... mom and dad calmed down and decided to go to marriage counseling again. So they're gone a lot, which I'm not complaining." Kenny nodded as he tossed his shirt onto the bench by his bag and kicked off his shoes. Stan inhaled a puff from his inhaler and held the medicine as long as he could as Kenny shucked off his pants and boxers in one go, then walked to the showers.
"Hey, Kenny?" Stan asked from the shower next to him. Kenny spit out water as he ran the cold water over his head to rinse the shampoo from his hair.
"Yeah...?" he asked, then grabbed the bar of cheap soap he had bought and rubbed it over his chest and arms.
"Stupid question, but... you don't wear your hood so much anymore. What... stopped that?" Kenny shrugged, although Stan couldn't see, and set the bar on the small rack as he rinsed his body.
"Uh... well, I was cold all the time when I was little. But I also did 'cause I'd sometimes have black eyes. And I hate my voice."
"Is this your game where you say three things and they could all be right or wrong?"
"No. Those are the three reasons I wore my hood," Stan laughed a little at his bluntness. Kenny shut off the water and shook his head violently, spraying cold water everywhere; not that it mattered.
"Why did you hate your voice?"
"I still do," Kenny answered truthfully, "when I was younger it was too high and half the time people thought I was a girl, which I mean... is fine, because I'm me you know but... for awhile before I knew me it bothered me. Plus it was seen as an insult," He paused, knowing Stan sent him a neutral facial expression. "And I dunno, I just hate my voice now."
"You don't have a bad voice," Stan consoled. Kyle entered the room, sweaty and in his basketball gear, and pressed a finger to his lips. Kenny nodded as he zipped his jeans and buckled his belt. "I mean, it's a little soft but it's like... calming. I've never really thought about it."
"Maybe it's just me, I dunno," Kenny mumbled. Stan chuckled. "What does my voice sound like to you?"
"I dunno," Kenny rolled his eyes as Kyle silently slipped out of his clothes. He sat on the bench and pulled on his shirt. "It's... you. Kinda higher but not... bad, like it's just... I dunno. Quiet though, but a calm quiet not a Butters quiet, but yeah, his is a little lower than yours, now that I think about it." Kenny smiled a little. "Not harsh like Cartman's-"
"That's 'cause he had a fucking double chin for half his life."
"Yeah, true. But it's not like Kyle's because his is... assertive. Astute."
"Astute?" Kenny couldn't help but laugh as Kyle made a face, then tip-toed to the shower.
"Yeah! But... I got it! Yours is like you're high. But not all slow and duuuuude. Just really chill and mellow, calm. It makes me feel calm and okay," Kenny smiled at that, then waited for the scream as Kyle disappeared from his vision, "JESUS CHRIST!" Stan shouted, then giggled as Kyle snickered about something. Kenny slapped his forehead and grimaced as he heard them kiss sloppily.
"Yours is very piercing," Kenny grumbled, causing Stan to laugh. The blonde stood up and hoisted his bag onto one shoulder. "I'm not staying for your locker room shower sex, I'm gonna check on Butters."
"K-kay..." Stan moaned, causing Kenny to scowl and quickly leave the locker room. He set his bag in front of the driver's side door to Kyle's car; he wasn't going to lug it with him.
He arrived at Butters' house after about ten minutes of deep thinking and pondering. Kenny was careful to avoid jumping near the front windows in case his parents were home. Quietly, he tapped on the window twice and shivered as he waited for Butters to answer.
After a couple of minutes the window opened and Butters looked at him with bleary eyes.
"Did I wake you?" Kenny asked as he stepped into his room and closed the window. Butters shook his head and rested his head on Kenny's chest. He whimpered quietly and held onto him for comfort.
"No, I just got back from the bathroom... my parents aren't here." Butters mumbled against him. Kenny led him to the bed and brushed his bangs from his forehead as he helped lay him down. Butters grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him down with him. Kenny smiled and put his hand on the small of his back to bring him closer.
They lay like that, just cuddling in silence, for quite awhile. Butters shivered violently and coughed against Kenny's chest. All he could do was pat his back and murmur sweet nothings. It was comfortable and warm, a little too warm for Kenny, but as of late his time with Butters had been dwindled to school and only a few hours on Saturdays when he got off work. So it was nice.
Except when Butters gagged and barely had time to turn over before throwing up in a strategically placed bowl. Kenny rubbed his back gently and tried to soothe the violent wracking of his shoulders as he heaved. He hated seeing Butters sick, it was something he had never seen before, and he decided he never wanted to see it again. His fingers drummed rhythmically on his skin as he heard Butters gasp and retch.
"Breathe through your nose," Kenny murmured as he wrapped his arms around his stomach and caressed him through his shirt. Butters shook against him and whimpered as he inhaled shakily. "Slow..."
"I hurt..." Butters gasped, voice raspy and quiet as he spit into the bowl. Kenny kissed his clammy forehead and brushed his hair away from his face.
"I know, you're gonna feel better tomorrow." Kenny reassured him as he pulled him to his chest. Butters hid his face and clung to him.
"Ken, will you...will you sing to me?" he asked, voice muffled. The dark blonde nodded and laced his fingers with Butters'.
"What song?" Kenny questioned in a whisper. Butters' looked up at him weakly and shrugged his shoulders. "I could sing 'Soft Kitty'," Butters breathed a laugh and shook his head.
"Just sing..." he murmured as he relaxed into the soothing circles Kenny rubbed on his stomach. Kenny pressed a kiss to his temple and thought for a moment. He smiled as he thought of a song he had heard Butters play once when they drove around aimlessly; one that he had heard Butters play on the piano and thought was absolutely beautiful.
"Whether near or far
I am always yours
Any change in time
We are young again
Lay us down
We're in love
Lay us down
We're in love..."
Kenny sang quietly against his head as he held him close. Butters was awake, his breathing was quicker than when he slept, yet his eyes were closed and he was beginning to relax. A small smile was on his face as he listened to Kenny, and his hand rested on his chest as he felt Kenny's heart beat.
"In these coming years
Many things will change
But the way I feel
Will remain the same
Lay us down
We're in love
Lay us down
We're in love..."
Butters was mostly asleep when Kenny finished the song. He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and pressed his lips to the skin that he had exposed. Butters' breath was deep and slow, it was Kenny's own lullaby to fall asleep to, and he smiled at the flushed-cheeked boy who he cradled close to him.
As he looked down at the small teen he couldn't help but smile. Butters was incredible. The way he felt in his arms, smelled, tasted, loved, and cared... it was all too much for Kenny. He didn't know if he quite deserved him, but he wasn't one to question, so he smiled wider as he pressed a kiss to his skin.
Butters was perfect. In every single way, although he himself didn't see it, but Kenny was willing to show him his perfection. He knew he was one lucky son of a bitch, and he would fight until the very end to be with Butters. Unless he stopped wanting to be with him. But he never wanted him to leave his life; he'd much rather have him as his best friend than nothing at all.
Because he was still his best friend. It wasn't as if they had abandoned those ridiculous late night talks and messing around they always did. They were still connected in that inseparable way, only more so because... honestly, Kenny felt he had some sort of separation anxiety from being away from him too long. He was always so used to him being there, without him, he wasn't all there.
They weren't like Stan and Kyle, Kenny knew that; those two were the definition of separation anxiety, but at first he had wanted to be like Stan and Kyle. He wanted that kind of relationship. Then he realized, as he and Butters just looked at each other, as if they knew what they other was thinking, and could read each other better than themselves, he knew they had something of their own. They would never be like Style. Because they were... them. And he was so happy with what they had.
Kenny tensed as he heard the garage door open, bringing him out of his reverie, and he cursed to himself. He carefully laid a pillow next to Butters in his place and crawled carefully away from Butters, who whimpered and cuddled the pillow; Kenny felt himself longing to be that pillow, yet shook his head and tip-toed to his bag.
"Butters!" Kenny cringed as he heard his Stephen Stotch yell. Butters startled awake and stared at Kenny with wide eyes.
"I heard the garage," he mouthed, "don't worry. Just sleep." Butters nodded and smiled tiredly at Kenny.
"I love you." Butters replied without a sound, Kenny nodded.
"I love you too," he whispered, then opened the window and tossed his bag onto the shingles. He signed "I love you" to Butters as he ducked out of the window and skillfully pulled it shut behind him as he slid down the roof and landed at the side of the house.
As he ran, he covered his tracks by kicking the snow, and he stopped running after turning the corner. He shook his head as he realized just how close he and Butters were to being caught, but he had to count his blessings that they hadn't been.
His phone vibrated multiple times and he furrowed his eyebrows when seeing Bebe was calling him. Curiously, he answered.
"'Sup, bitch?" he teased with a smile as he walked to Kyle's house. His smile faded when he heard her sob on the other end.
"C-can you pick me up...?" She gasped on the other end. He looked around.
"Uh, yeah, are you at home? I'm like a block away..."
"N-no, Stark's Pond... I need..." she trailed off as sobs consumed her once more. "I don't know what to do..." He tensed as he heard her broken cries and he ran down the block to Kyle's house.
"Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes. Were you hurt?"
"N-no, I'm... nothing like that. Just... get here soon." He hung up the phone and as he reached the garage he quickly punched in the passcode. The door opened and he hopped onto his bike, then hurried out of the driveway and shot through the streets, faster than even he was comfortable with, in hopes to make it to the pond before something bad could happen.
After nearly being chilled to the bone and narrowly avoiding a couple of accidents, Kenny arrived at Stark's Pond. Bebe came running to him through the snow, with a blotchy, tear-streaked face and smeared makeup. He hugged her tightly as she approached and she rested her head on his chest to stile her cries.
"What's wrong?" he asked, she shook her head and looked up at him with bloodshot eyes.
"Take me home," she whispered, climbing on the back of the bike. He sat down once more and handed her the helmet. She put it on, then hugged him and laid her head on the back his shoulder as he peeled out of the parking lot.
The two of them were completely silent as they drove the icy streets. Bebe held on to him tightly, he felt her hands practically digging into his waist, and he gritted his teeth as he fought against the cold wind. He pulled into Kyle's driveway after speeding too much for his own good, and Bebe took off the helmet with shaking hands.
"I didn't know what you meant by home... so..." he mumbled, taking her hand as they ran up the steps. Bebe huddled against him and he put an arm around her as he unlocked the door. "Let's go to the kitchen," she nodded and stuck by his side as they walked through the seemingly empty house and into the dark kitchen. He flicked the light and pointed to the table, where she sat with terrified eyes.
Kenny opened the cupboard and pulled out two packets of hot cocoa and poured milk into two coffee mugs. After stirring the cocoa, he put them in the microwave and punched the numbers. Then he pulled out a jar of Nutella and some graham crackers and handed them to Bebe, who smiled at him through her tears.
"It makes Karen feel better..." he mumbled, smiling a little, "but she doesn't like chocolate, so I don't fuckin' get it..." he trailed off, opened the microwave, and grimaced as the mug burned his hand. He handed her the blue one, and he set the white cup in front of him and sighed. "Talk to me."
"I need a fucking joint," she murmured, laughing at herself as she wiped her eyes.
"Kenny, are you home?" He heard Karen call. He held up a finger and Bebe nodded.
"Yeah! I just got back from Lee's, I think he has the flu," pounding feet sounded and he grimaced slightly. Bebe blushed a little and he shrugged his shoulders as his sister entered the room.
"I was just wondering if-" she stopped in mid-sentence, then looked between Kenny and Bebe. "What are you doing here?" She asked, not rudely, yet in a genuinely curious tone. Bebe laughed a little and looked to Kenny, who shrugged his shoulders.
"She needed to talk to me about something," Karen narrowed her eyes, "that was like... 8th grade Karen, besides, you are on the drama department with her and Lee." She nodded, then sighed as she stole her brother's cup. "Since when do you like chocolate?!" he asked exasperatedly, causing Bebe to laugh despite the tears. Karen looked at him then shrugged.
"Since Ike showed me good kinds of chocolate rather than the cheap-" Kenny gave her a look, and she blushed a little, "did I really just say that?" He nodded.
"You're becoming spoiled," he teased, causing her to stick out her tongue. "Are Style here?" he asked, Karen nodded, then pointed upstairs. Kenny gagged slightly and looked to Bebe. "Stan and Kyle are barebackin' it. Wanna see?" She rolled her eyes and gave Kenny a look, one that Karen was also giving him, and he raised his hands.
After stealing some more of his hot cocoa, Karen left, and Kenny looked to Bebe, who seemed a little happier.
"I mean, if you wanted to see some boy on boy action they're pretty hot."
"Fuck, Kenny, do you like watch in the closet or something?"
"No, but Ike and Karen thought we had a threesome once because I walked in while they were right in the middle of really raunchy sex. They didn't care and I had gotten out of the shower. Ike and Kar walked in on me changing..."
"You three are too close for your own good," Kenny shrugged and smiled at her. "Butters would be added there too but he wasn't involved in that."
"One time we all ended up making out while watching a movie, not together, but... y'know me and Lee and then Style. Only we were kinda close so I intentionally made us move closer to them and I grabbed Stan's ass. Stan appreciated it, but Kyle was like 'Stan, my hands are here...' and then they realized it was me and it was awesome. Lee thought it was hilarious."
"You are such a perv..." Bebe laughed as she shook her head.
"There's that smile!" Kenny chirruped, then smiled as she grabbed his hand, "so... what's going on? I mean..." Bebe sighed heavily and lowered her eyes.
"I'm pregnant," she whispered, Kenny's eyes widened and he pulled his hands away as he looked between her eyes and her stomach.
"Wha... did you... Clyde?" Bebe nodded.
"I... he's not..." she trailed off, eyes lowering even more. Kenny furrowed his eyebrows.
"He's not the dad?" She shook her head, tears cascading once more. He wiped them away and twirled a lock of her hair. "Who is?"
"I don't... I went to a party a-and... Clyde and I haven't had sex in like a month..."
"You went to the doctor?" She nodded, "how long did they say?"
"About three weeks, Kenny... I don't know what to do..." He nodded and grimaced slightly as he looked at her, "I can't have a baby, I'm the head cheerleader, I'm not... I'm not ready."
"Bebe?" The two at the table snapped around to find Kyle and Stan in the doorway, slightly disheveled and flushed, looking at them curiously. "What're you... doing here?"
"Talking to Kenny."
"I thought you were hanging out with Butters."
"I was, but he's sick and his dad got home so I ran."
"So... you met with Bebe..." Kyle said slowly, Kenny nodded.
"Because I'm pregnant." Kyle and Stan's eyes snapped to Kenny who looked back at them.
"I haven't had sex with her for like... two years!" He exclaimed, raising his hands. Bebe rolled her eyes and twirled her cup slightly as she watched them. Kyle sighed heavily, then looked to the blonde girl, who folded her arms over her stomach.
"You're seriously pregnant?" Kyle asked, eyes wide as he gazed at Bebe, who nodded and wiped her eyes.
"I told Clyde... and he broke up with me. Kenny, I don't know what to do."
"Well... you have options," Kenny mumbled, and as he touched her stomach she pushed his hand away. He glared, then put his hand over her flat belly again; he recoiled suddenly. "Whoa..."
"What?" She asked nervously, he blinked a couple of times, then said nothing as he repeated his actions for a third time, and caressed the skin. She squirmed a little at that.
"There's just... a baby in here." He murmured, feeling his throat tighten.
Kenny shook his head as he felt an overwhelming sense of happiness and goodness course through him. It made his head fuzzy and his heart almost hurt as he closed his eyes. His breathing was shallow as he knelt in front of her, then put his other hand on her stomach.
"What the hell are you doing...?" she asked. Kenny remained silent; he inhaled shakily as the feeling ran through his blood, to his soul. He felt innocent... happy... potential... so much potential it made his eyes burn.
"Kenny... what are you doing?" He jerked away and nearly fell as he hit his head on the table. He shook his head and smiled in slight embarrassment at Bebe, who locked eyes with him momentarily.
"You could always put your baby up for adoption..." Stan suggested. Kenny clutched his head and fumbled as he searched for something to lean against. Kyle kept worried eyes on him as he gasped quietly and bit down on his hand. He grabbed onto the marble counter and closed his eyes as he took in deep breaths. Inhale... exhale... he trembled.
"I can't carry a kid for nine months, we'll be seniors, instead of coming up with a way to get us to go to nationals in cheering and theatre I'd go to fucking lamaze classes."
"Then get an abortion," Kyle said simply, Stan gave him a look, and Kyle shrugged. Kenny rubbed his temples as he tried to get rid of the new feeling coursing through his body. It wasn't good. He felt sick. He felt...
"This isn't a sudden decision, I can't just..." Bebe sighed heavily as she raked a hand through her blonde curls. "Oh my God, I'm pregnant."
"I-I'll be back," Kenny choked as he ran out of the kitchen. He stumbled up the stairs, and put his fingers on his throbbing temples as he pounded on Ike's door.
"What?" The boy called gruffly.
"I need to talk to Karen. Now." Kenny said, hands shaking as he grabbed the wall for support. She opened the door and didn't have to look at him to know something was wrong. Instantly, her hand went to his forehead; when she felt the cool, clammy skin she dragged him into Ike's room and sat him on the corner of the bottom bunk.
"Are you having an anxiety attack?" Kenny shook his head and breathed slowly from his mouth.
"I... don't know what... you know that... condition I have?" Kenny chose his words carefully, Karen nodded. "Something happened downstairs, and... I think I... there's something else to it... but I don't know. At first I felt really good, happy and just like... like I was gonna do something awesome. And now I just feel real bad. Like impending doom and everything hurts and I'm scared... but I'm not. It just..." he trailed off in frightened gasps, trying to catch his breath as he pulled at his hair. Karen grabbed his hands away from his now tousled blonde locks and held his hands tightly. She knew in an instant he'd be scratching at his hands; they shook in hers and he toyed with his left lip piercing to distract himself.
"You know," Ike piped up, causing the brunette to glare at him to keep quiet as she hugged Kenny, "that sounds a lot like bipolar disorder." Karen sighed heavily and Kenny gave her a look. She shook her head and kissed the side of his face.
"He's not bipolar, Ike," Karen mumbled as she looked at her brother, who wasn't quite shaking. "Are you saying you have new... symptoms?" Kenny shrugged and bounced his knee as he looked out the window.
"I don't know... I think so? I uh... I'll let you know what I find out, I just..."
"Just remember what mama always used to say? Na bac, mo ghile lar," Karen said, causing Kenny to smile softly.
"You sound just like her, 'cept without the southern accent," he mused weakly, squeezing her hand, "I never even knew what that meant." Karen shrugged her shoulders.
"She always said the same thing except instead of lar she said beag. She was saying, don't worry... it was Gaelic or something." Karen murmured; Kenny nodded slowly and sighed heavily. "Ike, what does the last part mean? The ghile bits." The dark haired boy held up his index finger as he typed into his phone quickly.
"According to Google ghile beag means little darling. And ghile lar means middle darling, so it's just an endearment."
Kenny stood up and thanked Karen and Ike before he left their room. He walked into the bathroom and locked the door as he wrung his hands and stared in the mirror. Maybe he was overreacting... it could all just be in his head. Yet it felt so real and he didn't understand what it was he had felt. It couldn't have been her baby, that was ridiculous. He was Death, not some god or messiah, he couldn't feel life like that... especially since he touched Shelly's stomach and didn't experience that same feeling.
He could just be overtired and stressed. That would explain a lot.
Dark circles lined his eyes from lack of sleep; perhaps he was just delusional at that moment. Kenny found himself holding his hands under the running water as he looked away from his reflection. He pulled his hands away and wiped them on his jeans as he turned off the water. He wasn't dirty. He didn't need to... but he felt it. After that he was far from clean. He was filthy.
Kenny pocketed his hands and shook his head as he took a couple of deep breaths. He turned off the light and walked down the stairs, composed and calm. He would talk to Butters about this for sure; he hadn't gotten the notes about "The Necronomicon" yet. It hadn't been a big concern of his, as of late, considering he hadn't come near death and no further developments had occurred with the cult. May it was something he should start researching again.
He walked into the living room to find Bebe crying on Kyle's shoulder as Stan held her hand and murmured reassuring words that seemed to fall on deaf ears.
"How fucked up am I? To be pregnant at 16 and yet my biggest concern is why I can't get over some stupid bitch?" She sobbed, wiping her eyes as she held on tightly to Kyle, who glanced dismally at Stan as he rubbed her back.
"Well, Wendy isn't that great of a kisser. I mean, she's pretty good but I'm sure you've kissed way better kissers. And she's boring in the physical department, you pretty much stick to the standard stuff. Plus she can be a real bitch. She isn't that great, I mean she's a nice person, a good friend, but you wouldn't want to be with her," Stan offered as he smiled brightly. Bebe turned to him momentarily, considered this, and burst out laughing. Kyle grinned at his fiance, who shrugged his shoulders and leaned back proudly, as if he had just accomplished a masterpiece.
"I totally forgot you two dated."
"How could you forget?!" Kyle barked incredulously, "it was all I heard about for years."
"Well, middle school shit doesn't really count as dating, right, Kenny?"
The blonde shrugged his shoulders as his friends turned to him on the staircase.
"Well, what you and I did doesn't count as dating because you were with Clyde." Bebe huffed and gave him a look before resting her head on Kyle's shoulder. "But yeah, we were pretty much just practice for each other, right?"
"Right. Really good practice," she added, causing Kenny to smirk and Stan and Kyle to gag in disgust at the details they didn't want to know. "Where'd you go off to?"
"I had to talk to my sister," Kenny mumbled as he sat down next to Stan. He clasped Bebe's hand in his and smiled genuinely at her, "did you decide on what you're gonna do?" Her blue eyes flickered to Kyle, then Stan, as she nodded. Bebe's gaze settled on him as she grimaced and lowered her head slightly.
"I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow with the doctor to take an abortion pill." Kenny nodded slowly, feeling sick to his stomach as he glanced at her abdomen. He closed his eyes and breathed slowly. "I have to tell my parents, but they don't have to consent, Kyle says," the redhead nodded and his smile faded. "If... if I can do this tomorrow, Kenny, will you go with me?"
The sixteen year old nodded as he squeezed her hand. His throat was tight and dry as he tried to swallow down the knot as that horrible feeling of dread and hopelessness consumed him. He bowed his head and nodded.
"Of course," he managed as he hugged her tightly. Kenny felt tears burn his eyes as he willed his soul to reach to that embryo of a child, who must have a soul, to let him or her or it know this wasn't out of hate; just bad timing. He shivered as a cold chill ran over him. Shaking, he rested his head on her shoulder and held her tighter as the unwanted feeling froze him to the core.