Chapter 34

The group had to split up. Lori was already in tears and groaning loudly when Merle, Andrea, and a dazed Sophia reached the side of the road next to Rick's vehicle. The woman had sagged back against the side of the car, letting it hold her weight, as her body wrenched with pain. Merle shuddered just looking at her.

She couldn't control her voice when the pain hit her. No woman could. And Merle knew immediately that they'd have to split up. Lori was a beacon for walkers right now. There was no avoiding it. They couldn't put everyone at risk for the sake of a few. He opened his mouth to say as much but T-Dog beat him to it.

"We can't all stay here, Rick, man, might as well put a target on our backs," T-Dog muttered emphatically.

Rick was frazzled, his hair mussed from being run through by his hands more times than Merle could count in just over a minute. His eyes were wide as he searched the eyes of the whole group, a decision had to be made and Rick was in no state to make it.

"Glenn," Merle barked, "you take Maggie and Michonne in my truck… T-Dog, grab 'Phia an' take 'er and Andrea in yer car. Let 'Phia lie down in the back. Girl's dead on 'er feet, can't be up an' at 'em right now."

"Where are you going?," Andrea blurted, confusion clear on her face.

Merle nodded at Rick, now with his hand on Lori's back, shushing her softly as she moaned piteously, and Carl, at his mother's side, fear and panic in his eyes. "Wit' them… we ain't got no doctor…" he paused, meeting Maggie's still-distraught, wet eyes, "an' I 'elped birth a litter once. Ain't no fuckin' midwife or shit, but I'm all we got righ' now."

"You're gonna help get the baby out?," Carl asked incredulously, his tone largely skeptical.

"Fuck, kid," Merle snapped, "ya got a better idea?"

"We don't have time to argue," Lori breathed out in between moans, her tone strained, "I need to lie down now… and Carl… Carl, I want you to go with T-Dog. I don't want you here for this."

"Mom…," Carl started to whine.

"Carl!," Rick said abruptly, "listen to your mother."

Merle crouched down in front of Sophia who was leaning against the front bumper of the car, her face pale, the blood on her forehead and the side of her face dried, her hair matted from it, her lids half-closed. He wondered if she was concussed or something, but he didn't know. She looked at him, her lips turned down.

"I want… want to stay with you," Sophia said softly.

He shook his head slightly. "Ya can't, girly. But don't worry, yer gonn' be jus' fine. Ya go wit' the others, go fer a ride, git somewhere's safe to sleep. And ol' Merle'll be back wit' ya by the time ya git up in the mornin'."

"My mom's dead…," she said quietly, her eyes downcast now.

"An' Daryl too," he confirmed, the words were hard to choke out, they felt strange and false on his tongue.

Sophia looked up again at him, her eyes shiny. "You're all I have now, Merle."

Unwittingly, the corner of his mouth turned up into a sad half-smile as he said, "yer all I need, 'Phia. Now go, be safe, an' I'll find ya."

He glanced over at Rick who was holding Lori up now at the base of the woods beside the road, waiting for him. He gave Sophia one last glance and nodded at her as T-Dog came to lift her up and carry her to the car.

"Merle…," Andrea said as Merle started towards Rick. He hesitated, glanced back to see her standing not far behind him. She took a step forward, her hands in her pockets, and the side of her mouth twitched slightly. "Be safe," she said, and leaned forward placing a gentle kiss on the side of his mouth, pulling back just slightly before he pursued and crushed his lips onto hers, letting desire pool in the pit of both of their stomachs as his heart sped up beneath his chest for a moment and he remembered just how long it had been since he'd felt the touch of a woman. It was over as quickly as it had begun, and she gave him a small, almost hopeful smile and a nod as she backed away a few steps before turning and running to the car where T-Dog, Sophia, and Carl waited.

As Merle helped Rick support Lori's weight and they moved into the woods, Rick said, "you sure you can do this?"

Sure ain't worth shit 'ere, Sheriff, Merle thought. But all he said was, "Yep. Let's go."

They found a spot deep in the woods, a clearing between the trees. Large enough for Lori to be comfortable – given the circumstances – but small enough that they could keep an eye on the whole area and make sure it was secure in case a walker heard the dinner bell they couldn't stop from ringing out of Lori's cries of pain. Originally, Merle had thought Rick should be the one between his wife's legs, and Merle could coach from her head. But it had quickly become obvious that under that arrangement, Rick would just end up passing out before anything substantial even occurred. Even now, as Merle settled himself down on the ground in front of Lori, Rick wobbled slightly, a bit dizzy on his knees at Lori's head, their hands gripped together tightly as Lori grunted and groaned.

"Hol' on now," Merle muttered, trying to get a better look in the moonlight, "lemme git my bearings."

Merle told her to push just as the snap of the underbrush in the woods told them they weren't alone. Rick left Lori's side as the first walker broke through some brush into the clearing. Merle was too busy with the task at hand to watch Rick dispatch the first one… then the second… but then there was a third, and a fourth, and suddenly walkers were spilling into the small clearing from all sides, all angles, and it was quickly becoming a situation out of control.

"Merle!," Rick hollered, and Merle snapped his head up and around just as a walker towered unsteadily over him and Lori. He roared up, grabbing for his knife and jamming it into the walker's skull before whipping around to the next. He turned his head to meet Rick's eyes for a moment before one of the walkers surrounding Rick sunk his teeth into Rick's arm. Rick screamed and tried to turn, but then a second walker was at his neck, ripping at the flesh. "Get… get her… out of here!," Rick yelled as he was dragged down to the ground by the groping and grappling mass of walkers surrounding him. Merle stabbed through the head of an approaching walker, leaving the hilt of his knife sticking out of its flesh as it fell, and grabbed Lori, hoisting her up as best he could with her in the midst of a grueling labor and him only having one hand.

"Rick…," she choked out, tears streaming down her face… tears of pain, tears of grief…

Fuck, I ain't got time for tears, Merle thought angrily, angry at the situation, angry at life, angry at the godforsaken fucked up world they were supposed to call their own. He was more dragging Lori than she was running, and her groans were reduced to whimpers as they moved awkwardly.

"The… the… the ba-by," Lori stammered weakly as her legs gave out and he couldn't hold her weight any longer. They both stumbled to the ground in the middle of the woods, and she was panting from the effort of trying to run, close to choking on the pain of needing to push but holding back. She was still bare from the waist down, the length of her shirt just long enough to fall barely past her butt cheeks; he hadn't even remembered or noticed when he'd pulled her up and out of the nest of walkers that had descended on them in the clearing, he'd been too intent on getting her out of there. He moved between her legs and the baby was coming out. Lori grunted, silenced her own scream by biting down on her lower lip savagely, and the baby was sliding out gooey and slippery into the palm of Merle's hand as he maneuvered it to balance the tiny thing into the crook of his other arm.

It was tiny… covered in slimy guck... but beneath the guck was gray-tinged skin. He leaned down and tried to suck the goo out of the baby's nose, tried to clear the airway as best he could with one hand and a useless, still-laboring Lori as she delivered a mass of tissue and bloody crap onto the ground between her legs. Cradling the tiny baby in the palm of his hand, he put his ear to its chest.

He heard nothing. No thump, thump beneath the tiny chest. It was a girl… the tiny baby that couldn't weigh more than two pounds in his palm. She wasn't breathing. Her heart wasn't beating.

He hardly registered Lori's sobs as she struggled to sit up, reaching for her too-still daughter. The sound of shuffling feet, dragging footsteps in the woods behind them snatched his attention, and then he was jumping up again, grabbing Lori and pulling her to her feet even as she clutched her lifeless baby to her chest. He gripped her arm tightly, pulling her along with him until her body moved on its own instinctually, running alongside him, fleeing the imminent danger in the way that had suddenly become second nature, adrenaline coursing through her, keeping her upright and with him as they fled.

A/N – Is anyone regretting that I'm back and writing again yet? The hard part about this story is that it's a different POV each chapter (and yes, there's currently still 5 POVs – in order Carol, Daryl, Andrea, Merle, and Sophia) so you only get to know what's happening to one person at a time when they're separated. This rides not over… but next chapter we'll find out what's going on with Sophia. Oh… and I feel bad about the baby, but for some reason I seem to enjoy killing Rick in my stories. I'm working on the next chapter but depending on how my day goes today it might not be posted until Monday. I'm going away this weekend and won't have computer access after tomorrow morning. Thanks for reading!