A/N: So, after reading some of my reader's reviews, I changed my direction a little. I hope you like where I went with it. Thanks for all of the reviews.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Flashpoint...but I don't :(

Knowing Where You Need To Be

Chapter 36

Spike woke early the next morning and went down to put on a pot of coffee, but his mother had beaten him to it. On the table, sat a glass of water, two aspirin and a cup of coffee. She was at the stove making eggs.

"Buongiorno, Mamma," said Spike sitting down.

"Buongiorno, Michelangelo," greeted his mother. "Take those aspirin, your head must be killing you."

"It's not that bad," said Spike rubbing his head gently.

His mother placed a plate of eggs in front him and sat down with a cup of coffee looking at her son. Her eyes boring deep into his soul.

"What, Ma?" asked Spike.

"She loves you, you know."

"Who?"

"Anisa."

Hanging his head, he nodded, "Yeah, I know."

"It's not too late," persisted his mother. "Tell her how you feel."

"I did, last night, but I don't know if she believes me."

"I know you did, but tell her again," she said. Spike raised his eyebrows questioningly, wondering how she knew. She continued, "Tell her and show her again and again, until she believes you. Make her believe you!" Spike nodded his head, as he finished his eggs.

"How do you always know what I do? Do you have this house bugged?"

His mother smiled and replied, "It is my job to know what goes on in my house. Besides, these walls are thin. You would be surprised what I hear." She had a mischievous grin on her face as she walked out of the kitchen.

Spike thought about what she said and his eyebrows shot up at all of the things that she must have heard over the years. "Note to self: Never fool around in the house when Ma is home." He washed his dishes and went to have a shower.

Spike descended the stairs equipped with one basic plan...apologize profusely and beg for forgiveness. Repeat if necessary! He hoped that if he implemented this plan with no end time, he might eventually get through to her. If he had to, he would wear her down until she gave him another chance, just to shut him. It was the best he could come up with.

"Michelangelo?" his mother called. "Could you come here, please? I need your help with something"

Spike trotted to his Mother's room to see what she needed. "What's up, Ma?"

"Can you help get that down for me?" she asked, pointing to a lock box that was on a shelf in her closet.

"Sure," he said reaching for the box and taking it down for her. Setting it on the bed, Mrs. Scarlatti took out a key and opened it. Spike stood there not sure if she wanted him to stay or not. He watched as she reached in and withdrew a small box.

"Mikey, sit down. I want to show you something," she instructed. Spike took a seat on the bed next to her, as she opened the small box. She smiled, looking at what was revealed inside, then closed the box and looked into her son's eyes.

"You will go see Anisa today?" said Mrs. Scarlatti.

"Yes, I was on my way over there now."

She nodded her head then continued, "Good." She then took her son's hand in hers a looking into his eyes she said, "She loves you, you know." She paused before continuing, "Your father's last wish was for you two to marry. She is good for you."

Spike bowed his head feeling ashamed that he may have destroyed any chance of fulfilling his father's dying wish. "I know, Ma," he agreed somberly.

She handed him the small box she had been holding and said, "This was your Nonna's. If you think that Anisa will like it, I would be happy for you to give it to her."

Spike opened the tiny box revealing a beautiful diamond solitaire in an antique setting. The diamond wasn't huge, probably a little less than a carat set in platinum with filigree engraving. Its low profile would be ideal, since Anisa used her hands so much. Spike looked at his mother with a stunned expression.

"Ma, it's beautiful, she will love it. But you don't need to do this. It yours, it was your mother's."

"Your sister has your other Nonna's ring and I have no need for this one. I would like to see it on Anisette's hand...It doesn't belong on any other hand." She looked at him with gentle eyes.

"Ma, I ...I … what if she says no?"

"She won't."

He tilted his eyes questioningly, "What if she does?"

"Mikey, she loves. You just have to trust that."

"I can't do it now. I have to … clear things up with her first and then we'll have to see..." Spike said skeptically.

Mrs. Scarlatti nodded and then said, "Yes, it must be the right time. But don't wait too long."

The two sat quietly together for a moment before Mrs. Scarlatti said, "It is old fashioned... do you think she will even like it?"

Spike smiled warmly and said, "I think she will love it, especially because it is from you. It's all about family for her. Thanks Ma. I love you." He slipped the box into his jacket pocket, kissed her on the forehead and headed for the door.

"I love you, too. Good luck" she said to him as he walked out the door.

Knock, knock, knock.

Anisa was roused from her sleep by persistent knocking on her door. She looked at her clock and it said 8:00. She wasn't expecting anyone... she rolled out of bed and grabbed her gun and went to her door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me," said Spike tentatively.

She looked through the peephole then opened the door wide.

In her sleepy morning voice she said, "Mike...what are you doing here at the crack of dawn?"

"It's not the crack of dawn...it's 8:00," he said stepping into her apartment. Then his eyes notice the gun in her hands and his eyebrows shot up.

"Oh, sorry... I wasn't expecting anyone. Just habit," she explained putting the weapon down. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she said, "So why are you here?"

"I'm here because I am clear headed and I want to apologize for my behavior over the last few days...the things I did and the things I said," asserted Spike.

"OK, I think I need some coffee before we have this conversation," she mumbled leading the way to the kitchen.

Spike followed her, noticing for the first time that her apartment was in complete disarray. "Whoa, what the hell happened in here? Are you OK?" asked Spike wondering if someone had broken into her apartment.

Stepping over a book on the floor, Anisa chuckled a reply, "Haha, yeah, I'm fine. When I left you and Gina alone at your place yesterday... let's just say that Sparky showed up. And we both know that she has a bit of an anger management problem." She was referring to her volatile alter ego. Anisa entered the kitchen and began to prepare the coffee pot when she turned and saw Spike's expression. His face was riddled with guilt over the mention of him and Gina. She continued, "Good thing the rational me can still control Sparky...it's all fine." She hoped that would set his mind at ease a little.

Spike walked over to the refrigerator and placed the bag he had been carrying into the freezer. Anisa was slowly waking up.

"What's that?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

"Ice cream. A wise woman once said that 'ice cream makes everything better'."

Again, Anisa chuckled, as Spike quoted her mother's favorite line. "Wise indeed. But it's only 8:00 in the morning."

"And?" smirked Spike.

"Haha, good point," laughed Anisa pouring two cups of coffee and handing one to Spike who took one sip and put the cup down.

"Anisa, you are the most incredible woman I have ever known. I let my fear of losing you consume me. I did and said some hurtful things to you because of that fear and I am sorry," he began. "I said that you couldn't understand what I was feeling with the loss of my dad," Spike said leveling his eyes with hers, "but you, of all people, know exactly how I feel. I'm sorry."

"Mike..." she started, before Spike put his hand up to stop her.

"Please, I'm not finished. Then there is the Gina thing...In the back of my mind, I think I knew that you still had some insecurities about her, but I gave that no thought. Instead, I let her actions and attention confuse me, which I should never have done. I should have been stronger...more like you." He hung his head, "I know I have caused you so much pain and I am so sorry. If I could erase the last two days, I would, or even just start them over, so I could make different choices, I would."

Again, Anisa tried to interject, but was stopped, "Mike, honey..."

"Wait, OK? I'm almost finished and I have to get all of this out. I realized last night that I love you more than life and I don't want to live with out you," said Spike resolutely. "I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I am asking for it...begging for another chance. I will do anything you ask me to do to win your love back."

Anisa put down her cup and looked into his eyes and waited a moment to be sure he was finished. "Mike, you have had my heart since that first awkward kiss outside the goose," she said taking a step closer to him and touching his face. "Thank you for your apologies and, as a good friend recently told me, 'forgiveness is a gift for both sides'." Anisa raised herself up on her toes and touched her lips to his. Pulling his head a little closer, she deepened the kiss. Breathing into the kiss, Spike felt his heart beat through his lips. Her lips were a perfect fit for his. He placed his hands lightly on her waist, not wanting to assume too much.

After a beautiful kiss, Anisa said, "Can I ask you a question?"

Holding her loosely in his arms, he answered, "Anything."

"Will you tell me the truth?" she asked.

Spike immediately released her and stepped back a step, leaning against counter. He looked at her square in the eyes and said solemnly, "Yes, I promise to tell you the truth... not matter what you ask."

"You kissed her, right?"

Spike nodded, dropping his eyes from hers, as he said, "Yes."

Anisa leaned against the counter facing him and picked up her coffee. After taking a sip, she said, "Did anything else happen?"

Spike could feel his hands begin to shake, so he shoved them into his jacket pocket to still them. He was trying to formulate an honest answer that would not hurt her more than he already had. He decided to simply give her the plain truth.

He inhaled deeply before beginning, "Yes, I guess. This is what happened, when we were at her place, I went to the bathroom and when I came out of the bathroom, she was in her room. She was in her bra and underwear." He looked down, finding it hard to look her in the eyes. "She came over and kissed me and … I kissed her back." He paused a moment, trying to get the nerve to tell her the rest. "Um...then she put my hands on her breasts," he mumbled, and he pulled his hands from his pockets and rubbed his face, as tears threatened his eyes.

When she said nothing, he took his hands away from his face and looked at her. Her arms were wrapped around her waist and she had sucked her upper lip into her mouth and was gnawing on it, in an effort to stifle her emotions. She was looking directly at him. He knew he needed to say more, but was afraid that the truth would not sound genuine.

Looking her in the eyes, he said, "But it was wrong...it felt wrong. I stopped and stepped away. I told her I didn't love her. I told her I loved you and I left." Spike put his hands back into his pockets. He turned the ring box over in his hand, as he waited for her reaction. He felt his throat contractin,g as the seconds ticked by in anticipation of her response.

Anisa felt as though she had been kicked in the stomach at the revelation that Spike had not only kissed Gina, but she had been nearly naked at the time. Anisa unconsciously crossed her hands over her chest noting that, like the rest of her, her breasts were petite. Then the image of Gina's ample bosom, which she flashed in front of Spike at the church, ran through her mind. Anisa pinched her eyes closed at the image of Spike with his hands on them. Her mind was reeling.

Spike watched her close her eyes and his heart ached for her and for them. He knew she was visualizing him with Gina and there was nothing he could do get that image out her mind. He would have to wait for her to make the next move. Internally, he pleaded for her to say something...anything.

She opened her eyes, staring at the floor and then out the window. Looking anywhere but at Spike. "But he is here, with me. He didn't stay with Gina," she repeated in her mind. That gave her the strength to look at him. Gazing into his eyes, she saw regret, but she also saw love, true and pure. She squeezed her arms around he chest tighter and chewed her lip even more.

Spike couldn't take it any more, so he pleaded gently, "Say something, please. Scream at me. Tell me you hate me. Ask me to leave. Punch me ….hit me... Please...What are you thinking?"

She stood up straight and said, "I'm thinking... I need a walk." She walked purposefully out of the kitchen, stepped into a pair of shoes sitting by her door and then closed the door behind her.

A/N: I know it was mean of me to leave this chapter like this, but, oh well. Let me know what you think.