Tender Hooks
By: Bucket/Replacement for the Stars/filthyfreedom
Chapter Thirty-Six:
Minds
'Stick around; I'm full of surprises.'
-CSI: Miami, "Hell Night", Lt. H. Caine
(O.o)
Year: 1970
Date: September Twentieth
Nessie darted down the stairs, through the bookcase, and outside, grinning happily at Severus's roar of anger when the other boy found out that he would have to get down the stairs by himself. Last night, while Severus had been sleeping, Nessie had examined the healing wound in Severus's right hip and declared—loudly and to himself—that he figured Severus was fit to walk unassisted up and down the stairs. Now, he floated over the cracked front walk, hearing Severus's dark explanation of fury reverberate from the top of the stairs. He knew that Severus wasn't really mad at him; however, a deep, unattainable fear that resonated deep within his instincts still balked, told him to run, run as far away as he could, before Severus could tie him down in the basement and do horrible, inexplicable things to him, like his Uncle and Aunt had done. Although Nessie trusted Severus, and hoped that the thing inside of him that didn't even want Severus to touch him at all would just up and vanish, he knew that if Severus ever tried anything that was even close to what his Uncle had put him through, there would be no choice but to leave, no matter how much it hurt.
Nessie couldn't put himself through that again, he just couldn't. Nessie stared down at the heavy cracks in the front walk as his entire conscious tore itself to pieces. He would do anything for Severus—he had already mentally and emotionally established that, and it wasn't just because of the oath he had sworn to the spirits to keep Severus Snape happy—but Nessie knew there had to be boundaries. He had watched Severus watching him, a calculating look in the black eyes as they idled over certain parts of his body—neck, wrists, ankles, lips—and Nessie desperately hoped that whatever Severus was thinking about wouldn't hurt. He didn't want any more pain; that was reasonable, right? It was okay to not want to hurt anymore, right? Just because he wanted to keep Severus happy and healthy and still in love with him didn't mean he had to hurt anymore, right? If Severus was going to hurt him, then why had the spirits put him here? To betray the only one he cared for? Nessie didn't understand, and some part of him hoped that he'd never have to.
When Severus finally made it outside, panting heavily and clutching one long hand to the pain in his hip—which was thankfully not bleeding—Nessie was floating innocuously next to the old cement sidewalk, his thoughts transferred to dogs and puppies and Severus buying him one. Severus probably wouldn't want him to have one, Nessie reflected sadly as he darted over to Severus and danced happily around him, verbally expressing his joy at the other boy having made it down the stairs all by himself, because Severus just wanted him all for himself.
But there was something conflicting in the back of Nessie's mind, and while he wasn't quite sure what it was—this need, this want, this desire to do exactly as Severus wanted, to be seen on his knees before Severus with his head on the other boy's lap and something that he couldn't quite describe connecting them—Nessie knew that whatever it was, unless Severus desired it so—and how could he? What person would want the complete and total submission of another?—it would have to go. And Nessie had no idea of how to do that.
There will be no review responses this chapter; I just don't have the time. I'll try to put them in next chapter. Thank you, all!
Happy readings,
Replacement