Thanks for the wonderful review...Yes, Jag is slumping in dispair but don't worry...he'll figure it out.
I love Valin...As for the IK...I don't know what you know of the Legacy Comics, but they are basically grey Jedi--not truly dark but not all light. However, I can ease your mind, that philosophy has nothing to do with Valin.
And L/M...well just keep reading...
Thank you so much for to compliment...(blush)
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Chapter 36
Solo Apartment, Senate District, Coruscant
Ben sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the holo of him and Jysella that the Toydorian Grada had taken on their wedding day which seemed so long ago. Tahiri Veila had brought it with her when she arrived back at the Jedi Temple two days ago. She and her partner had been ordered to head out to Praesitlyn to mediate the situation there. The planet had long been a hub for the Holonet and was inhabited by almost equal numbers of humans, mostly decedents from the original colonists who came from Eriadu, and Sluissi. The humans there were becoming more vocal in their wish for joining the Insurgents, particularly the Empire, while the Sluissi were loyal to the GA. It was just one more hot spot of many that Niathal didn't really want involved with, so she sent a team of Jedi, hoping that Tahiri and her lover, Doran Tainer, could resolve the problem before the military needed involved to hold the planet by force.
Ben took a deep breath and mentally traced his wife's beautiful face. They were both smiling and they had their arms around each others' waists. The holo had been taken right after they had taken their vows. He remembered every moment of that day and he only wished that the war would be over and that they could finally be together. He had foolishly hoped that once they were married they could be together. But the war once more interfered.
He sat the holocube down on the small bedside table. Then he opened the drawer below and pulled out the small box. He was hoping to give Jysella this on her upcoming birthday which was only a few weeks away. He opened the small velvet box and pulled the golden ring out. It wasn't much but it was something that represented their love. Such things weren't common place, but marriage jewelry was found in the galaxy. The custom of the wedding ring was found on the backwater planet of Seswenna and Ben liked the symbolism of what it meant—the ring was a perfect circle without beginning or end, just as true love should be.
He ran his thumb over the two small flush-set diamonds and sighed. He had just bought the ring yesterday, using funds that he had managed to put away and wishing that things were done. That the assassination that he and Jacen planned a week ago was done, that his promotion that Jacen informed him of was done, and that her mission would soon be done. That was when he made his decision. Standing, he pocketed the ring rather than putting it back into the box and hiding it way in his drawer. Then he went out into the main room of the apartment he shared with Jacen. He sat down at the comm station and engaged the hypercomm. He inputted his call's destination into the datapad and waited for the local time of the receiving planet. He smiled when he saw that it was in the early evening there.
Good, she won't be sleeping or in some boring meeting.
Ben proceeded to punch in her personally comlink code and waited for the real-time hypercomm to make the connection. Moments later her soft yet strong voice sounded over the speakers.
"Jysella Skywalker."
Ben smiled and replied, "I really like the sound of that."
"BEN!"
"Hi, Jys. How are you? I wish that I could see your face," he said as he leaned heavily onto the station desk.
"Oh, Ben! Sweet Force, how I've missed you!" Suddenly, her image appeared and he sat back so that he could get a better look at her. He was immediately concerned. Her cheeks were drawn and her green eyes seemed sunken and dull. She looked as if she had lost weight.
Before he could respond she went on and he could tell with each of her rapid fired questions she was becoming more and more angry by the way her brow beetled, "Where are you now? Is your mission over? Where were you? Why didn't you call me? I was so afraid that something happened to you when you cut yourself off from..."
"Whoa! Jys," he held out his hands. "I'm sorry for everything. I was on a mission to the Outer Rim and just got back not a week ago. I'm sorry that I couldn't call you. Jys, you know that I would have if I could have. But I was on strict comm restriction." He really hated lying to her, but it was necessary for now. She would never understand that his "mission" had been to continue his Sith training. However, he knew someday she would understand and forgive him when he and Jacen ended all war. He s miled, "I'm on Coruscant right now and will be for a while. But it seems that I keep missing you during Bespin's day which is the middle of the night here, by the way. I've been given more responsibility and this is the first down time I've had. In fact, I'm to be promoted."
"You are?" she was truly surprised. "But why have you not contacted me through the Force?"
"I have a few times but you've been sleeping." He honestly said. Since his return he hadn't had much time. In fact, even now he had a training session with Jacen in less than an hour, then after that he was heading for the GAG firing range. He had to learn to become a sniper. Then he said hoping to redirect the conversion, "Yeah, I will be taking over the GAG here on Coruscant. Lon is still on Kashyyyk and Jacen is concerned about a possible increase in illegals coming on planet." Ben was proud of his achievement, and the total trust Jacen had in him. He s miled shyly and shrugged, "Jacen trusts me and feels that I'm ready for more."
"Is this because your mission was such a success?"
"Yeah," he simply said and didn't elaborate. "He just told me about the decision to make me captain last night. I'm hoping that you will be here to see me. Besides, it's your birthday soon," he ended with a s mile.
"I'm really proud of you, Ben. I hope that I will be able to come back before my birthday but I'm not sure that Dad and I will be done here. The negotiations aren't going well. Moff Tarkin Na'al has undermined a great deal of what we have said by bringing up the fact that Valin is so highly trusted by the Emperor."
Ben hated to hear this. He hated the Empire and he fought to control the emotion. However, it was hatred for what the war was doing to Jysella that was stronger. "Jys, you don't look well. What's wrong?"
Jysella looked away and she bit her bottom lip. He instantly had the feeling she was hiding something. "Please, Jys, I have to know," it was a plea.
She finally looked up and weakly s miled and shrugged, "It's nothing, Ben. Don't worry about me. I'm just a little tired that's all. That and Dad and I—"
Ben's expression darkened slightly. "Let me guess, he doesn't approve of our marriage."
She looked down again and Ben thought he saw tears in her eyes, "Ben, he wants us to have an annulment. He thinks we're too young."
Ben clenched his fists, "No, I'm sure it's only me he thinks too young." Her eyes told him all that he wanted to know. The past two and half months had been hell for her and something in Ben changed. Whatever doubts that he may have had about his decision to join Jacen melted away in molten hate. Hate for the war, hate for their parents for putting her through this, even hate for Jacen for sending him away and demanding he to break his bond with her to begin with.
"Ben…" she let her voice trail and then shook her head, "Ben, it will all be okay. I love you and I will never let what anyone says come between us. Have you contacted your parents?"
Ben shook his head and replied, "No. They are in the Corporate Sector and from the report Dad sent back two days ago, things aren't going well." Ben didn't tell her that they contacted Jacen to rant about Ben being back on Coruscant. They had wanted to talk to him and he considered doing so, but Jacen thought better of it. They suspected Jacen's fall to the Dark Side and they, particularly Mara, wanted noting more than to get Ben away from Jacen. Jacen assured him that they wouldn't be in CorpSec too much longer. Mara would make sure of it and they had decided that before the Skywalkers walked away from an important assignment, Jacen had to be in position to take over the office of Chief of State and the Jedi.
She took a deep breath and said, "Ben, they are only concerned about you, that's all."
"What have they been telling you, Jys?" he snapped.
Her eyes widened and then narrowed, "They haven't been telling me anything except that if you really was grown up, you wouldn't have left me the morning after our wedding night."
He swallowed hard; the bitterness was easy to hear in her voice. "Jys, I explained why I needed to do that."
"Yes, you did. Did you save Jacen from whatever you saw in your vision?" she asked sarcastically.
"Jys, you know the future is always changing. I think I was seeing what could have happened if your brother hadn't killed Alema Rar on Mon Cal. But we did take precautions."
She looked away and Ben saw a tear. "Then your mission came up." She looked at the cam straight on and Ben's breath caught at the sight of his strong, beautiful Jysella crying. "I hope to be back home soon, Ben. Call me. Don't hide from me, please. I—I'm afraid that something's happening to you."
He forced a small s mile, "Jys, I'm fine and when this war is finally over we all will be better. I'll be here when you get back, I promise. Jysella, I love you."
She was silent for a long moment then sighed, "I love you too, Ben. Please, be careful. I need you more now than ever."
"And I need you. I'm sorry but I have to go. Jacen is waiting for me," he couldn't keep the sorrow from his voice.
She opened her mouth as if wanting to speak but instead, simply nodded and bit her lower lip as she terminated the connection. He had the feeling that she wanted to tell him something but thought better of it.
Jys, I promise this war will soon be over. He reached into his pocket and pulled the ring out to look at it again then after several moments he tightened his palm around it and stood up. After he dropped it back into the pocket of his uniform pants and secured the flap tightly over it, he turned. He went to the door of his bedroom and reached out, not a second later the lightsaber from Marcia landed reassuringly into his right hand. He looked down at it and felt the Darkness that flowed from it. He reached around him and tucked the worn silver and black hilt into his belt and grabbed his carry all. He then headed out the door to go find his Master. The sooner he reached his full potential the sooner the galaxy would have peace and the sooner he and Jysella would be together.
Galactica Tower, Imperial City, Bastion
Jaina made her way down to the hangar as she had been chillingly instructed to by Cera, Jag's secretary. Jaina still wasn't quite sure what she thought of her. She really didn't want to see her as a rival but it was hard not to when Cera's feelings for Jag was so easy to read. Surely, Jag wasn't that blind that he didn't know his secretary wanted to be so much more? Of course, Jaina had no evidence that she wasn't. Just how does a civilian secretary to the Navy find herself as the secretary of the Emperor, despite her former service to him?
Out of curiosity—Jaina refused to think of it as jealousy—she had done some research concerning Cera De'Loake and took to reading the data the computer had pulled during her meanderings to the hanger. Jania discovered that the tall beautiful blond had worked since she was a teen for the Imperial government and had entered the Imperial University to study politics, but she never graduated and ended up working for her father as a secretary. Her father had been a low level administrator and her mother a teacher. Both of her grandfathers had served under Palpatine. One as a Stormtrooper the other had been a technician on the first Death Star, his life cut short by one well placed torpedo by Jaina's uncle.
Well, she surmised, that would make me suspicious of me too, I suppose. But then it's a two way street, her grandfather helped blow up my mother's home world.
Suddenly, she was at her destination and the lift doors opened. She had no idea why she had been asked to the hanger as she moved around a few of the larger ships parked in the massive space. She reached out into the Force and felt his presence and she felt a mix of happiness and bewilderment at the thought of seeing him again. She hoped that the mood from their last time together before he left was still there. She really didn't want to fight with him again.
She and Jag had only seen each other once since their dinner date a week ago. That meeting, which happened two days after the tense dinner where she realized later she admitted way more than she had wished to, went better. Jag had invited her to walk with him through Pelleaon Gardens. Despite the chatter that had been all over the Imperial tabloids about them being an item, this had been their first official public outing. They walked though the garden and Jaina asked Jag exactly what he expected to achieve. They were virtually alone; a security team that Valin insisted that they take along kept the reporters and the curious at bay. Although, she had to admit she was impressed with his plans for the Empire; he completely took her by surprise when he asked her what she would like to see happen with the government.
However, the pleasant afternoon had been shortened by an urgent call from Jag's Planetary Revitalization Minister, his brother Cem. Apparently, something wasn't going as planned on Orinda, where Jag was trying to work his reconstruction magic that had worked on other Vong devastated planets. Then suddenly he left the capitol leaving only a recorded message for her stating that he would return within a week. She assumed that he had gone to Orinda, but she never asked to make certain. Then again she really didn't want to know, he had taken Cera with him.
She rounded another ship and took a deep breath. There he was standing with the blond who was facing him and s miling at something he said. Then she looked at Jaina and instantly she felt the woman's disdain. Jag turned and gave her a half s mile that made her heart ache and she tucked the small datareader into a pants pocket on her thigh.
"Jaina, I was beginning to wonder if you had gotten lost," he stepped before her, his s mile and his relaxed demeanor taking her aback.
She looked past him to Cera and Jag, taking the hint, turned to look at the other woman, "That will be all, Cera. Thank you."
She bowed her head and said, "Yes, Sir."
They watched her weave her way through the hanger and Jaina turned to met Jag's eyes at the same time. Finally, Jaina snapped, "So, did you have a nice trip, Your Excellency?"
"Yes," he began cautiously, "I was able to accomplish the business I set out to."
She crossed her arms over her chest and the words escaped before Jaina could rein them in. "Really? So, is that what we call love affairs these days?"
Jag's eyes darkened as he glared at her and quietly inquired, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You and your secretary!" she hated the fact that her jealousy was getting the best of her, but she had to know. She had to know if there was anything between them. "Why don't you just marry her? Oh, wait!" she struck her forehead with the heel of her hand in mock enlightenment, "She doesn't have an acceptable pedigree."
"Jaina," despite the anger flashing in his light green eyes, Jag remained calm, "she is nothing more than my secretary. I know she wishes she was but she isn't. I am not having an affair with Cera."
"Well, between the vicious glares and the feelings I sense from her and seeing you actually talk to her, laugh…UGH!" Jaina hated what she was doing. She was acting like a jealous school girl and jealousy, despite all of the emotion she herself may have garnered in others, was a new feeling for her.
She turned away and started toward the lift when Jag's quiet voice stopped her, "You're jealous."
She slowly turned and sniffed back the sudden hot tears of embarrassment. "No, I'm not. It's just that I won't tolerate you making me into a fool, Jag. Despite everything I will never cheat on you but I expect the same from you. We have to be able to trust each other…even if we can't find our love again," she added in a raspy whisper. "We're to be partners—whatever that entails."
Jag's expression was incredulous as he moved forward. Suddenly, he was before her. Jaina's breath caught as he reached up and tenderly touched her cheek with is fingers. The sensation was exhilarating and a small sound escaped her lips. How she longed for his touch. "Jaina, I could never cheat on you—in spite of everything."
"You're not having an affair with her?" She looked up into his eyes.
"No," he firmly but quietly said, "She is a friend and I trust her impeccably. No, she doesn't approve of you. Partly because she does have feelings for me that could be deemed as nonprofessional, but mostly she doesn't approve of you because she sees you as the embodiment of the New Republic. Her father is a staunch Imperialist and wishes to see the GA crushed. I'm afraid Administrator De'Loake has rubbed off on his daughter more than I'd like. "
She looked away ashamed, but he reached under her chin and turned her face up to his again. He s miled and Jaina's heart skipped a beat. "Jaina, she goes with me often because she is good at what she does. She helps me keep the administrative end of what I do straight. I may be a good tactician, I may be able to fly my way out of a dogfight, but I hate the datacard shuffle."
"I'm sorry, Jag," she didn't know what else to say.
He s miled again and announced, thankfully changing the subject, "I brought you back something."
"You—you brought me something?"
Then he let his hand fall away from her chin and Jaina's skin tingled where his warm fingers had been. He turned and said as he gestured toward the ship that was to the left of them, "Yes. I think that you will like it." Somehow Jaina had completely missed it in her fit of jealousy.
It was beautiful. Sleek and curved in design, chrome colored polished exterior, swept back wings that lifted like a Lambda but the ship didn't have the balkiness of the long in service shuttle in body. Dual sublight engines and the hyperdrive made up the tail. Powerful and modern weapon systems were discretely placed in fold out encasements from the fuselage under the wings. There were also weapon encasements along the dorsal side more aft. The nose came to a blunt point and above it was the cockpit. It was clearly a yacht slightly larger in size than her aunt's, yet it was much more graceful.
Jaina moved in awe around the ship, running her hand long the bottom of the fuselage. Jag was watching her and said as she came around the nose toward him, "She has a point six hyperdrive rating and a backup drive, the maximum shielding available, hypercomm, and the best weapons array out there." He grinned broadly and finished, "But the best part? She handles like a dream."
Jaina gasped, "Jag?"
"She's yours. This is the first of the class, in fact. Not the prototype but the first one off the line, though I had them up-grade it some. I got the call not long after Cem contacted me that she was ready. She was built at the shipyards on Yaga Minor. I had requested the first one that was built since it was the first ship fully designed and built under my supervision as Head of State. I came up with the idea to boost production of non- military craft. The economy of the planet needs some lifting. I know it might seem crass to find excitement in something as luxurious, but a lot of beings out there would buy these despite the war…"
"Jag," She turned her eyes back to his, "you're giving me this ship?"
Jag stepped before her and Jaina was shocked to see the emotion in his eyes. "Jaina, I've made a lot of mistakes. I'm offering this as a peace offering. And as an engagement gift. I'd like to see where things go with us. What you said the other night…did you mean it?"
She held her breath, "Jag, I—I don't know what to say."
He sighed and she realized she hadn't answered his question. He began to turn and Jaina made a decision. She opened to the Force and let herself sense what he was feeling. She gasped when the truth came rushing to her senses. He turned and gazed at her, his expression one of jumbled emotions. She reached up and laid her hand on his cheek, then she slowly laid the other one on his other cheek, cupping his handsome face.
Suddenly, breathing hard she quietly asked, "What's her name?"
His breath seemed to escape him all at once, "Heart of a Goddess."
"What?" she all but squeaked.
"You can change the name but…she's your ship."
"I—I…" she was speechless as she stared into Jag's amazing eyes.
"Jaina," his hand touched her face again and she leaned into the touch. She let her hands slide around his neck and she held her breath as they gazed into each other's eyes. He murmured again but before Jaina could register what he said his lips brushed hers. She instantly responded; her heart full of the love she felt for him. She pulled him closer and he wrapped his arm around her waist while the hand on her cheek slid into her long hair, tilting her head to meet his hungry lips.
The kiss was passionate and left them both breathless at the end. He pulled away and shakily murmured, "Jaina, I don't want to rush this. We have a lot of healing to do between us. But I want you to know that regardless of how much I wanted to hate you at one time, I was never able to. You have always been the goddess that tortured my dreams and my heart. Jaina, I never stopped loving you."
"Oh, Jagged," she fell onto his chest and Jag wrapped his arms around her. Her words were muffled by his tunic and she felt the first hot tear slide down her cheek, "I love you. I never stopped."
He rubbed her back and gently asked, "What about Zekk?"
She shook her head and met his eyes again, "I loved him but you were always there. I could never let you go. I hope that someday he can forgive me. Jag, I hope someday you can forgive me." She said as she buried her head into his spice scented chest and cried.
He held her and whispered into her hair, "You're forgiven, love." She let the tears fall for a long time—tears for all the years she wasted, for all the pain she caused the men who had loved her so much and tears of utter joy. Then she finally let the last silent sob out for her failed relationship with Zekk and with it she tried to release her guilt and her grief. "Come on, let me show the Goddess off."
She lifted her head and hoarsely said as she brought her hands to her face to wipe her eyes, "I'm sorry. I got your shirt all wet."
He also wiped at her wet cheeks with his thumbs. Smiling he commented, "Not for the first time. But I don't mind."
Jaina s miled up at him and asked, "You said she's the first of a new class?"
"Yes, the Lightsaber class. I held off until the last moment when coming up with the designation. It wasn't until I seen this beauty that it came to me." They walked over to the yacht hand in hand and when they arrived at the ramp he went on. "I named it in honor of you."
Jaina blushed; she knew he wasn't just talking about the yacht's class designation. However she addressed the less personal name, "I'm honored. But why? Lightsabers aren't that well appreciated by Imperialists."
Grinning he countered as they made their way up the ramp, "Ahhh…but I plan to change that perception. The Imperial Knights will one day be to the Empire what the Jedi have been to the Republic. Besides, the future Empress is a Jedi."
She stopped in her tracks. She had never once thought of that. "Empress?" She turned and stared at him, "You want me to take that title?"
He chuckled and shrugged, "That's usually what an emperor's wife is known by, especially if she is his partner on the throne. Though, I refuse to ever sit on a throne or wear a crown. I'm not a king. I'm the over seeing governor of an imperial system of government. The title comes with the job, just as empress does."
"Jag, I don't want the title. I know I will be treated as royalty, I know once we're married I will have to put up with an assortment of titles that are given out of either respect or because of people insist on labeling someone they perceive as being in power, but I will not officially take one. I'll be your wife. I'll be your partner. I'll give you an heir. But I will not be an Empress."
He continued s miling and said, "If that is what you wish. We will come up with something," he then led her through the hatch. "Because, 'Emperor and Mrs. Fel' is...well...just—lame."
She laughed and truly felt giddy, suddenly. This was her Jagged. This was the man she had loved since she was eighteen. This was the man she knew she would always love. She turned and sniggered, "Yeah, I suppose it does. Well, Emperor Fel, you'll just have to think of something. Now, won't you?"
They moved into the main passenger area of the ship and Jag smirked, "I suppose I will, Lady Solo."
She glared at him but then she caught sight of the interior. It was elegant but not like the palace. It was more in keeping with her personal style—simple lines, uncluttered, functional furniture and warm earthy colors.
She grinned and the giddy feeling was back. She looked around and suddenly turned and headed for the cockpit.
Jag laughed and followed her up the stairs to the four person flight deck. He stood back and watched as she landed in the pilot's chair. She looked over the controls and then turned to look over her shoulder at him. Her heart melted when she saw the delighted expression on his features.
"I want to take her out."
Jag came forward and slid into the co-pilot's seat. "I never doubted that."
She looked surprised, "You're coming with?"
"You don't want me to?" his voice was light but she could sense his stab of hurt feelings.
"No! I mean yes," she quickly assured. "What I meant was that I figured you would be busy doing the things an Emperor does." She then let a lighthearted grin slide onto her lips, the one she inherited from her father, "You know, plotting which planet you want to take over next. Which industrial center needs a shake up. Which Moff needs his or her fingers slapped for dipping too much into the sweets jar. You know those things."
He shook his head and laughed, "I'm sure that I could be doing some of those things, yes. There are a few Moffs I'd like to take down a peg or two." Then he sobered and met her gaze and held it, "But I'd much rather spend the rest of the afternoon among the stars with the goddess that stole my heart."
She stared at him. Her mind raced as did her heart and she s miled, but she couldn't think of a single thing to say except, "Then strap in."
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