A/N: A lot has happened in the last two months for me and I'm having trouble finding time to work on this story, so instead of going so long before updates, I will give you smaller chapters so I can update more regularly.

Chapter 35 - Relapse

When Meryl came to the living room to tell Leonard and Penny that food was ready she was stopped by the sight before her eyes. Her daughter was in her fiancé's lap, her arms around his head and her hands running through his hair, while her body was pressed very intimately against his. The way Penny was kissing Leonard, made Meryl for once understand what the term 'Sucking Face' really meant and her body seemed to rubbing against his while she sucked face. The first thoughts through Meryl's mind was that it made her feel good inside seeing her daughter so intensely making out with her fiancé after all the grief and sadness she went through the last four weeks. However a second thought quickly overtook that first thought, watching her daughter making out was gross and not something a mother wanted to do.

"Umm, excuse me but could the two of you come up for air." Meryl said a little loudly.

Penny jumped at her mothers voice, years of conditioning to not get caught by her parents when making out with her boyfriends took over as she jumped back from Leonard, fixing her clothes, while trying to get off his lap in a hurry. She was acting that way because she had basically been single minded, her mind fixated and consumed with only one thought, loving Leonard, and so when her mother interrupted, she acted on instinct. Therefore, now as she slipped off the lap of a surprised Leonard, she looked up at her mother with eyes that were so dilated they looked black. "Oh, Hi Mom." greeting her mother, again still operating on instinct.

Meryl couldn't help but chuckle, it was like watching a teenage version of her daughter, the very same flustered and guilty look she had seen before when as a teenager she was caught doing something she wasn't suppose to be doing. "I just wanted to tell you dinner was ready." Meryl said with a smile then turned to leave, but stopped. "Sweetie, I don't mind you making out with Leonard on the couch." then as an after thought, "as long as all the more serious stuff is done in your bedroom." Meryl then gave her daughter a even bigger smile as she continued to leave.

Penny quickly came back to her senses, now realizing what actually happened, it made her groan while her face blushed deep red. "MOM!" Then turning to look at Leonard who now had a big smile on his face. "Stop that, it is your fault."

"How is it my fault." Leonard said in surprise. He was actually enjoying this whole situation, Penny was acting in a way like her old self, it was a very obvious sign that she was getting better.

"Because…..because you were acting like you and you know I can't resist you when you act that way." she said like it explained everything.

"Huh? How can not I act like myself." Leonard now asked confused.

Penny stared at him for a moment biting her lip, he was right of course, he was always himself and she loved him that way, she would never change him. She got back in his lap, put her arms back around his neck and stared into his eyes. "That's the problem, you are always yourself and I have this thing for that guy."

"Oh." Leonard barely got out under her intense stare.

Penny kissed him on the lips, then hugged him hard, putting her head on his shoulder. "I love you Leonard."

Leonard squeezed her back, "I love you too."

"I missed this Leonard, I missed how much I enjoy loving you." Penny told him, her head still on his shoulder.

Leonard realized how serious this had suddenly all become, Penny was talking to him about her feelings and like the therapists told him this meant she was getting better. "You know I feel the same way, but there is no hurry Penny, we have plenty of time."

"I know, but I don't want to waste it, I feel like I have been in limbo forever and I don't want to be that person anymore." Penny told him, sighing after it came out.

"It hasn't really been forever, just a few weeks, but I am glad you feel better." Leonard responded.

"The doctor told me it was okay to grieve, that I had even had the right to grieve all I wanted, it was actually normal, but she also said that I still needed to live, because if I didn't that wasn't normal. Leonard, I actually thought people were going to tell me to stop feeling sorry for what happened and I was ready to hate everyone for trying to make me stop, but nobody has said that to me, everybody has been really supportive, especially you." Penny put her lips against Leonard's neck and gave him a kiss.

"I can't say I know how you feel or even how Sheldon feels, but I do feel the loss, I meant what I said about having a family." Leonard's voice cracked a little on the last part.

Penny sighed again, her eyes becoming moist, as she listened to Leonard, his voice full of emotion, she knew if he broke down she was going to start sobbing. She didn't know what to say and she was so happy when he spoke again and broke the silence. "Penny, I love you and I think together we can get through this, I will always be here for you."

Penny smiled even with her moist eyes. "I know that so well now, that is why I want to go on with my life, I want to go on with it with you. I love you so much too, Leonard."

They held each other for several minutes until they heard Penny's mother shout. "I REALLY MEANT IT, DINNER IS READY." It made Penny giggle and Leonard chuckle, it also made Penny push herself off Leonard's shoulder, to finally look at him and when she did she got a lump in her throat. She could see the dried tears on Leonard's cheeks and embarrassed small smile he gave her, it made her want to just grab him and cry on his shoulder, while she cuddled him.

"I need to wash up." he just told her and she just nodded, then suddenly thought about herself as she pursed her lips to say something. "You look fine, I guess I'm the crybaby of the relationship." he answered to her unasked question.

He had no idea she was about to cry, but to stop herself she just leaned in and kissed him, letting the emotion in her be transferred into her kiss. It was a short kiss but it calmed her and kept the tears from coming, Leonard had that way with her, making her feel secure in his love. They looked at each other for another couple moments then got up, Leonard going to the bathroom, while Penny headed to the kitchen.

Penny walked into the kitchen to find her mom putting the food on the table and her father already sitting there going through the mail. They would always eat in the kitchen when it was only the four of them, since Leonard and her had been there and Penny enjoyed the feeling of home and family it gave her when they ate there, instead of the formal dining room. She took the same chair she had sat in ever since being back home and waited for Leonard to arrive, a small smile on her face as she thought about him.

"Oh Penny, we got a couple pieces of mail for Leonard." Wyatt said before passing the mail to Penny to give to Leonard.

Penny glanced at the two envelopes, one from the university on the return address and the other from a reality company. It was the reality company that made Penny stop and stare at the envelope, the name being one she had remembered from some place before and she racked her brain to remember, so she opened the letter. The letter was a bill for the next months rent, and suddenly it all came back to her, the apartment, the babies room, the start of their new life and of their family, they had signed the lease and Penny remembered that they should have moved in by now.

Penny put the envelope down on the table, walked out of the kitchen then up the stairs to her bed room, leaving her mother and father just looking at each other. Meryl was about to go after her, but then Leonard walked into the kitchen, looking around, a frown on his face at not seeing Penny. "Did Penny go some place?" he asked Penny's parents.

Wyatt nodded, "I gave her your mail and she opened one of the letters then she went upstairs."

Leonard looked at the table and at the open letter, picking in up, glancing at it, then sighing. "I need to go to her, excuse me." he then turned and walked out of the kitchen to find his fiancée, leaving Penny's parents to just sit there in concern.

The bedroom door was closed when he reached it and Leonard stopped for a second to build his courage, things had been going so well and now this, he damned himself for having his mail forwarded to there, he should have had Sheldon take care of things for him. He was expecting the worse, Penny balled up in the fetal position, whimpering by herself in a dark room and he felt his stomach start to get upset that he would be the cause of her pain. His insecurities started to surface the more he thought about the situation he was now in and again he wondered if he was the right man for Penny or if now she even wanted him anymore. Those thoughts made him not to want to even go in the room, however he loved her too much to ever leave her alone and he knew if she needed him he would hate himself for not being there for her, so he opened the door and walked in.