Chapter Thirty Six
This one is rated M too :)
Paine woke to Rikku nudging her bare shoulder softly. "Hm?" She managed.
Without a word Rikku leaned down and began kissing Paine's exposed jaw line, then her neck, her collar bone, then her cleavage area. Paine made a small noise and reached for Rikku's shoulder. "More?" She asked wondering if this was the blonde's way of asking for a round two.
Rikku pressed a little kiss on Paine's stomach, then another right under her breasts. "You rest."
Paine shook off the rest of sleep and watched Rikku for a little while. "Baby you don't have to—"
"I want to." Rikku cut her off as she straddled Paine under the covers. "Let me."
Paine held her gaze in the dark of the room and then nodded. "Okay."
Rikku ran her hands up and down Paine's pale body and took her time to get to know every little scar, every faint freckle, every curve, just as Paine had done for her a few hours before. It had made her feel beautiful Rikku wanted to make Paine feel the same, she was met with small resistance in the beginning but soon she got Paine to relax enough for her to appreciate her the way she deserved to be appreciated.
Rikku wasn't going to lie; she wasn't as equal with sharing her time with each of Paine's body parts. Her legs and her breasts got a lot more attention than her flat stomach did, that was for sure. Surprisingly to herself, she wasn't nervous at all. Every hitch in Paine's breathing, or small moan was like the best feeling in the world to Rikku. If anything it encouraged her.
Paine was surprised to feel Rikku begin to slowly kiss down her body. She had no idea what happened to the shy girl she was speaking on the phone with because right now Rikku was this sure and confidant woman, and she had to admit that it was really sexy on her. Paine could feel Rikku's small hands holding her hips down as she took a moment to reorient herself before she started kissing the inside of her thighs. "Mmm." Paine exhaled and tangled her hand in Rikku's hair as the blonde just went for it and began to eat her out.
She knew it was a ballsy move, but one that Rikku was glad she decided to take. She had a vagina, she knew what felt good generally, and with a little experimenting she knew she would find specifically what turned Paine on more. It was an easy choice to take this route instead of the more dominant one that Paine took. The taste wasn't as bad as the book made it out to be, Paine wasn't too salty or fishy. Her taste reminded Rikku more of butter than anything else. The more she licked and sucked the more she realized she liked it and the more Paine squirmed on the bed.
Paine reached her free hand to her chest and moaned a little when Rikku seemed to find a pattern that worked for the both of them. She let out a needy whimper when the blonde stopped all of sudden and popped her head up.
"… Does that feel good?" She asked quietly.
Paine looked down at her and just had to smile. Rikku's honey blonde hair was tussled and her bright emerald eyes held a mixture of mischief and curiosity. "That feels amazing, Rikks." Her voice was husky enough to make Rikku mentally shiver and decide that she was going to get Paine off if it were the last thing she did.
And she did just that.
Paine let go of the bedspread while panting heavily when Rikku began to press wet kisses up her body. She pressed her wet lips against Paine's and the two began to make out again. Rikku finally pulled away and giggled.
"You're really hot when you…y'know." She blushed in the dark.
Paine just stared at her in bewilderment. "Are you sure you've never been with another woman before because that…." Paine ran a hand through her hair and sighed again. It was the first time in a long time that she really wanted to smoke a cigarette. She wasn't sure what it was that made her cum so hard. Was it just the thought alone of Rikku between her legs? Or the fact that she hadn't had sex in ages, Rikku's surprisingly skilled tongue? Maybe it was all three, Paine didn't know, and frankly she really didn't care. She felt weak. "That was fucking amazing." She finished leaning up on her elbow to match Rikku's stance.
Rikku smiled genuinely at her. "Just you."
Paine smiled back and leaned over to place a series of small kisses on her lips, she cupped Rikku's jaw and they gazed at one another for a moment in silence. "I love you." Paine mouthed.
Rikku smiled wider. "I love you too, Pypo. So much."
Paine exhaled and stretched out like a cat would. "I don't think you needed that book at all." She concluded with a small yawn.
"You wouldn't believe how nervous that thing had me and the stuff I was doing?" Rikku said as she and Paine cuddled up in their usual manner with Paine on her back and an arm out for Rikku to coil up at her side. Rikku loved how their bare skin felt touching as they cuddled.
"Like what?" Paine asked and looked down to her side at Rikku; the tingling feeling of her orgasm still humming lightly within her.
"Well I almost kinda waxed off my vagin' waxing."
Paine chuckled a little. "Want me to check if everything looks alright?" She grinned and Rikku laughed.
"I'm a little sore."
Paine's smile fell. "I didn't hurt you or anything did I?"
"No no no, you were great, better than great… Good sore."
Paine nodded and used her left hand to push aside some of Rikku's hair out of the way that had just fallen into her face. "Tonight…um, I'm glad we waited, if that makes sense."
"You mean waited till we talked?"
Paine nodded. "I had no idea what was going through your head, and then the book thing, well I actually was worried something was wrong…"
Rikku smiled to herself at Paine's openness right now. "Nothing was wrong, but I'm glad that we waited too." She hugged Paine to her. "I was worried that you thought I was damaged goods or something…."
"I could never think that, Rikku."
"I know, it's just y'know how sometimes my mind gets."
The two fell quiet for a few moments until Paine spoke up. "You really want me to stick around that long? To be in your future house and stuff?"
Rikku looked back up at Paine. "I love you," was her simple reply. "I can't imagine it without you."
Paine's heart swelled, she was sure it would burst with all this emotion in one day. "I'll stay as long as you'll have me."
"Get comfortable."
Paine smiled to herself and sighed. She chuckled as Rikku smacked her lips. "What else did you do?" Rikku held Paine closer as she told the story of her walking out completely naked to Paine sleeping.
"Yeah I noticed you weren't wearing a bra that morning—"
"Pai!"
Paine chuckled. "What do you expect?" She ran her fingers of her right hand along Rikku's bare shoulders in thought.
Rikku watched her drift into her own thoughts and it made her tilt her head curiously. "What are you thinking?" She whispered.
Paine's fingers halted and she blinked a few times before finding Rikku's eyes. "I'm happy..." Paine realized "I'm just happy, Rikku."
Rikku hugged her closer. "I'm happy too, baby."
"All the things that we've been through? I'm glad I'm here with you." Paine wrapped her other arm around Rikku now fully enveloping her in her naked embrace. She looked up at the patterns Rikku's ceiling made by her blinds and the night sky. Rikku got more comfortable by slipping her leg in between Paine's and resting on top of her. Paine tightened her grip with a small sigh. "You just came out of nowhere… just in time…."
Rikku smiled against Paine's chest and it was then that she knew she wanted to be by Paine's side always. The word love didn't seem like enough to describe what she felt for her. Rikku placed a kiss on her chest and sighed. Or maybe those endorphins were really doing a number on them both.
An hour later of just lying that and talking quietly found the two in another passionate kiss. "I'll be gentle." Paine whispered as she placed another kiss lower than the first.
Rikku giggled and soon found herself moaning and coming undone all over again as Paine kept her word and softly licked and kissed her center under the blankets. Rikku moaned as she rolled her hips against Paine's face and dug her heels into the sheets beneath them.
The next morning she woke and chuckled when she realized Paine was actually snoring softly beside her with the cutest case of bed head ever. Rikku yawned and was about to close her eyes when she remembered that her father would be coming home in a few hours. She nudged Paine and chuckled even more when Paine pushed her arm away in her sleep. They had fooled around more once they caught there second wind and Rikku knew she'd be wearing a permanent grin for a few weeks. She blushed just thinking about it. The youngest Bayla ran a hand through her tangled hair and began to get out of bed to shower. Looking at herself in the mirror just made the blonde laugh more. She rubbed her face and tried to run a hand through her hair again. She hated when it got knotted up but she'd let it slide for this. "Sex hair." Rikku realized. She laughed again and really was beginning to wonder why she found everything so funny. Rikku was just in a good mood today; hearing Paine admit to being happy made her happier than words could define, maybe even more than their first time. She knew her girlfriend was struggling with a lot of things she couldn't help her with, just hearing that she was in a positive state made her day.
Rikku returned into her room about half an hour later after washing her hair and lathering her body up with lotion. Paine was still lying on her stomach with the blanket at her waist exposing her creamy back and her bullet scar.
"Paine c'mon, I don't think Pops will understand if he shows up and your sleeping completely nakie in my bed." Paine mumbled something but didn't budge. "Paine."
"What?" She groaned.
"Get up."
"You get up."
"I am up, and showered and dressed and everything,"
Paine picked her head up as if checking if this was so. She grumbled something and turned her back to Rikku and pulled the covers over her head. Rikku laughed. "Fine, you explain to Pops why you're naked in here."
"He doesn't have to know I'm here."
"Your car is parked outside…."
"My keys are in my jacket."
"I'm not putting on more clothes to move your car down the block and walk back in the cold just because you don't want to get your lazy butt out of bed and shower. What do I look like? Your girlfriend?"
"Yes…"
"….C'mon get up I have to change the sheets and everything." Rikku walked over to stand in front of Paine. "Wake up!" Rikku started her annoying childish yet somehow cute routine of trying to get Paine to wake up.
It took the blonde getting on the bed and jumping on it to finally get Paine up. She violently pushed the sheets off herself and stormed into the bathroom making sure to slam the door behind her. Rikku chuckled. And she was the dramatic one?
Paine was in the middle of showering when Rikku heard her yell out for her.
She popped her head into the steamy bathroom "Yeah…?"
Paine poked her head from behind the curtains. "I look like a fucking leper, Rikku." Rikku began to laugh. "It's not funny."
"They're love bites."
"They're everywhere."
"It's because I love you so much." She smiled sweetly.
Paine said nothing but just returned to her shower. Rikku smiled and exited the bathroom to return to straightening up her room and getting a mental list of things she needed to do for the day. She was just finishing making up her new bed sheets when Paine exited the bathroom in some jeans and a gray long sleeve shirt. Her hair was slicked back and she went to her drawer to find her gel to style it. Paine chuckled when she felt Rikku watching her do it.
"You just do it so fast." Rikku explained.
"That's the trick." Paine nodded as she quickly used her comb and applied more product before finishing just like that. "Gotta get it while it's still wet…." She smirked and laughed when she felt Rikku throw a pillow at her back. "No pun intended." She added.
"Oh of course." Rikku rolled her eyes as Paine picked up the pillow and walked over to her in order to bend down and press a sweet kiss on her lips.
"Good morning, Princess." Paine smiled.
"Morning, Pai." Rikku matched her smile. She wiped some gel from the tips of her bangs. "You're not mad at me right?"
Paine shook her head. "No, I liked it." She assured. Sure she looked like someone had tried to maul her under her clothes, but that was okay for now. Rikku had stayed away from her neck; too preoccupied with the rest of her body to leave any marks there. "Besides, I got you back." She straightened up and used her fingers to tilt Rikku's chin to see the reasonable sized hickey peaking out near the collar of her shirt. She and Rikku knew that wasn't the only one, and besides this one was barely noticeable under the darker tan and Rikku's red shirt today.
Rikku chuckled and nodded. "An eye for an eye."
Paine put the pillow on the bed beside Rikku and pulled her girlfriend up, who immediately wrapped her arms Paine's waist. Paine did the same and they gazed at one another before Paine just hugged her. Rikku chuckled into the embrace but hugged her back. Paine kissed the top of Rikku's head and just held her there. She never felt like this before. She never felt so connected to someone else before, it was making her soft and mushy and just a hot mess of emotions.
##
"Ah man what happened down here?" Paine asked once they detached and decided that they were in desperate need of food. "It looks like Santa had one too many jagar bombs and threw up Christmas all over this place."
Rikku rolled her eyes. "You said it looked nice last night." She said as she shooed Paine away from the fridge and handed her the carton of milk before searching for something she wanted to eat.
"It was really dark last night." Paine joked as she reached into the cereal cabinet.
"Y'know after such a night of passion I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me how you really feel." Rikku said as she still stood in front of the open fridge. Paine laughed. "I don't know what I want, we don't really have anything since we left. I need to go to the market with Yunie soon…." Rikku rubbed the back of her head as she pulled out the leftovers from the night before. "You think these egg rolls are still good?"
Paine shrugged. "We ordered food last night, should be fine… You're just going to eat that though?"
"No…" Rikku began munching on a cold eggroll as she closed the fridge and opened the freezer. She chuckled "Wow look what I found." She pulled out a few frozen meat patties in the back of the freezer hidden behind a box of her father's fat free ice-cream nuggets.
"What? Hamburgers?" Paine furrowed her brows when she saw what Rikku pulled out.
"We made these together, you don't remember? I think it was after Taboo, we were so hung over and Yunie and Tidus left…"
Paine smiled. "Shit you didn't eat those yet?"
"I forgot I had them. They're getting eaten now." Rikku opened the freezer package.
"Whoa Rikks you can't eat those, you'll get sick."
Rikku just stared at her like she was crazy. "They were in the freezer."
"For like a year, we went to Taboo before my birthday… like May, it's fucking December."
"So I can't eat them?"
"No."
"Why not, they're fine, Paine."
"Baby, I'm telling you'll be hating yourself."
Rikku began to defrost them. "I'm hungry."
"Have something else."
"But I want these, they were really yummy remember?"
"A freaking year ago."
"Oh c'mon that wasn't a year ago."
"Have some cereal."
"Cereal is boring."
"Fine."
"Fine?"
"I'm not taking care of you when you get sick."
"You're so ungrateful. You know how many times I've taken care of you—"
"Once?"
"Twice!"
"Twice? You got sick the second time."
"I know, you're welcome!"
Paine laughed and went back to eating her cereal. "Suit yourself."
Rikku watched Paine and then the defrosting hamburger meat. She looked back at Paine happily eating her breakfast and she groaned. "Fine!" Just then the house phone began to ring. Rikku wondered out into the hall and picked up. "Hya Pops….Oh…Delayed? How long for? Well I bet grandma would like that…I'll give her a call… okay, call me back, alright." Rikku hung up and went back into the kitchen. "I guess I'll starve…." She smiled when Paine rolled her eyes. "Pypo?"
Paine looked up at Rikku who had just come to stand directly beside her. "Yeah?"
"If I go to the store and get oranges…"
Paine smiled a little. "I'll cut 'em for you."
"Yay!" Rikku did a little dance and then ran out of the kitchen. Paine finished her bowl of cereal and was in the middle of washing it when Rikku came back downstairs wearing her white NLU hoody, light jeans, and bright pink and yellow socks. She was holding her wallet in one hand. "I figured I might as well go and do groceries…"
"I thought you were hungry now?"
Rikku shrugged a little. "I am but y'know I'll just have a smoothie from Jambi. You'll come with me right?" She wasn't ready to say goodbye to Paine yet and really hoped she had nothing to do today.
"Yeah, but don't you think it's a little too cold for one of those?" Paine asked reaching for a hand towel to dry her bowl.
Rikku shrugged again. "You know how hot Home was? I've been dying for one; c'mon put your shoes on."
##
"Yevon almighty…" Paine swore as Rikku careless turned into the drive through window at Jambi Juice. She could feel the car hydroplane because of a patch of black ice near the window. Rikku didn't seem to be bothered. It was bright outside, the cold wind from the winter sweeping in every now and then and making you wish you dressed warmer. The windows in the small white car were up though, and the seat warmers on. Paine had to remember to remind Gippal that seat warmers were a must. Maybe he knew a guy.
Rikku was rubbing her hands together and waiting for the person in front of them to hurry up and decide what they wanted. "You see? Even with the blistering winds, Jambi prevails!"
Paine shook her head. "You're such a dork."
Rikku laughed and shook her head. "They don't have these in Bikanel."
"No?" Paine asked a little surprised.
"Nope. I had to go without you, AND my Teddy Berry!"
"What's a girl to do?"
Rikku nodded. "I was going crazy! So that's why after some lady lovin' with you—"
"Lady lovin'?" Paine shook her head. Rikku was probably the most ridiculous person she knew.
"— I must now go hence forth and…and… and get a smoothie." She shrugged and turned to her girlfriend. "You want Hot Coco Moo? They have that here y'know? Hot versions of the original three Jambi drinks. Did you know Mr. Jambi himself opened one of these places in the dead of winter and still exceeded sales by like… a lot?"
'How do you even know all that?"
Rikku ignored her question. "Coco Moo?"
"Nah, I'm good."
Rikku nodded and watched Paine closely for a second. She reached her right hand out and rubbed Paine's arm. "You okay?"
"Yeah." Paine nodded quickly. She didn't know she was giving off a look that said she wasn't. She guessed she was just letting her thoughts run and affect her face or something. Rikku was very perceptive. "Why?"
"I don't know you're just quiet."
"I'm always quiet."
"Not last night."
Paine laughed. "You're one to talk!"
Rikku giggled and shrugged again before letting her smile disappear. "You alright though?"
"I'm just tired."
"Still?"
Paine nodded. "I had to stop taking the pills to go into surgery remember? I guess I'm now starting to feel what I felt before."
"Do you feel sick? I mean when do you start taking them again?" Rikku took her foot off the gas and moved up to the intercom and large colorful menu. She rolled down her window. "Hold on a second please?"
"No problem ma'am," the voice in the box replied.
Rikku rolled back up her window and turned to face Paine more. They were the only ones left in the line so the blonde didn't really care. "Pai?"
Paine chuckled. "I'm fine."
Rikku nodded slowly and then brought a smile to Paine's face when she leaned over and placed a big kiss on her cheek. "There we go, much better." Rikku noted when she saw her girlfriend's smile. "Pypo, Dno hud du muug cu tufh."
Paine shook her head, smile still in place. "Order your smoothie."
Rikku smiled back. "Okay." After ordering her drink, drinking it and getting a few things at the grocery store Rikku and Paine were on their way back to the Bayla house. Rikku was trying to get Paine to hold her hand when Rikku's phone went off. She laughed at something Paine said and then tapped a button on her steering wheel to turn the low music off and transfer over to the call. "I forgot to call grandma dangit, this is probably Pops." She pressed the button again to pick up. "Pops! I forgot to call cunno, does she knew you're coming back to the house for lunch?" Rikku turned to Paine. "His flight was held back an hour or so." She explained.
"Rikku?"
Rikku froze. "Buddy?"
"Oayr ed'c sa, E lymmat du caa ev oui syta ed eh ugyo. Oui yjuetat cusa bnaddo pyt cyht cdunsc rana."
"E syta ed eh veha. Dryhgc." Rikku glanced at Paine. She didn't think it were that big a deal that she ran into Buddy while Home. He was Al Bhed, she was Al Bhed…
"Yr, knayd, E mayja haqd faag. Fecr oui fuimt ryja paah ynuiht muhkan, fa ymm secc oui ujan rana."
Paine raised an eyebrow at her girlfriend who sunk down in her seat a little more. Who was she kidding here? Paine absolutely hated the air he breathed.
"Rikku?"
"Yeah yeah, I'm almost at the house and all that so we'll talk later."
"Can't wait."
"Bye." Rikku hung up the phone and glanced at Paine again.
"What the fuck?"
Rikku sighed. "Pai."
"You didn't think to tell me that you and Buddy ol' Pal were hanging out in Bikanel?"
"No…We didn't hang out, he wanted to but… We didn't okay? I didn't say anything because I knew you would be upset." Rikku stopped at a red light and looked at her girlfriend. "You're upset." She read. Paine didn't say anything which only proved her right. Rikku sighed in frustration. "I don't see why—"
"Really? You don't?"
"I don't know what you think I'm doing; I don't know why you don't trust me, Paine. I love you and you only. It's stupid when you get like this."
"It's not you I don't trust, Rikku—"
"Right it's him."
"Yeah, he doesn't respect me or our relationship. So while I'm over here getting cut open you're off with Buddy having a good time. It just shows me that you don't—"
"Are you kidding me right now? We ran into him in the city, He's Al Bhed, he visits Home regularly too, Paine."
"Whatever, I don't want to get into this with you right now."
"I think we should talk about it at least so you're not brooding all day like that." Rikku pulled onto her block.
"I'm not fucking brooding." Paine crossed her arms.
"You're acting like a baby then."
"Well you're acting like it's nothing at all. Tell me, if I just ran into Dona and—"
"That's different and you know it." Rikku was getting a little upset now. "You slept with her, multiple times. I haven't even thought Buddy in a sexual way."
"But you've thought of him."
"Oh Shiva." Rikku pulled into her parking space. "Maybe you should just go take a nap."
"Maybe I should just leave."
The car was quiet for a second before Rikku took her keys out of the ignition. "You'll do whatever you want." she said before getting out of her car and gathering her cloth bags from the grocer. Paine helped her bring the heavier bags in the house, cut Rikku's orange and then disappeared. Rikku watched her leave for the den and was going to say something but decided that she just wanted space to calm down and realize how crazy she was acting.
##
Lulu paced back and forth until the door knocked. She quickly checked the empty living room that she had cleaned over and over again in attempts to calm herself.
"Lulu." The woman at the door smiled but then looked surprised at Lulu's stomach. "You're pregnant, Wow congratulations."
"Thank you, please come in."
She pulled her winter cap off revealing her long smoky hair. Keira took in the modest apartment much like her own. She was standing in the living room and a part of the dining room. Nothing at all like the Moore mansion. Though small it was decorated fashionably with Besiadian accents here and there. "Do you live here alone?" she wondered aloud.
Lulu finished hanging Keira's winter clothes and finally caught up with her. "No, I uh, I live with my boyfriend, Wakka."
Keira nodded. "Ah, how long have you two been together?" She wasn't the kind of person who enjoyed making small talk, but the older woman had to admit that she was both grateful and nervous. No one else would hear her out; why not agree to come over? Paul had met with her just last night, well almost. He came in they stared at one another and he left. He always left.
"For some time now, we've known each other since High school…Um, please sit down." Lulu offered her a seat on their small sofa.
"Right, thank you." Keira watched as Lulu struggled to sit comfortably with her huge belly. She smiled softly at the girl's familiar features. "You know I remember you when you were just this little thing…Well anyway, I suppose that's not what's important right now… I know it's not why you've invited me over here."
Lulu nodded and just examined the woman sitting across from her for a minute. She was having a hard time seeing it before in her mind's eye, but now looking at this perfect stranger Lulu couldn't deny that she and Paine looked so much alike. Even their mannerism seemed to mimic one another; there were some obvious differences though. Where Paine was more aloof, Keira, even in this situation felt warm and inviting. It really made Lulu wonder more about her half sister. Wakka had told her only a little of what he knew about Paine's past, this knowledge was what was pushing her to act.
As annoying as her mother was to her Lulu did love and appreciate everything the older Moore had done for her. She wasn't as bad as everyone thought, she just took some getting used to, and Lulu had twenty three years to do just that. Under all that talk was this beautiful soul that Lulu remembered wanting to be just like. Learning that her father had been unfaithful was hard too, but he was her father, he had her back when it came to her mother and Lulu realized that people made shitty mistakes all the time. It didn't mean she forgave either of them, but she understood, and they were her parents.
Paine didn't have that.
Not even one, and in her hormone craze Lulu found herself extremely sad over the matter. Sure she thought Paine's hair was annoying, or she swore too much, and she dressed like lesbian hoodlum with rare spurts of fashion sense, and was somehow blessed with a model's body that anyone could be envious over, but all that didn't mean she hated her. Paine and Wakka were actually closer than Lulu thought. She didn't know why she was so surprised though, they were roommates for a little while, worked out together every other day when Wakka didn't have his new jobs. He mentioned her when they started having the talk about Godparents for Franco…
"She took a bullet for Big Mac just like dat ya? I'd trust her wit lil' Blitzer any day." Lulu remembered him saying.
Well Lulu supposed that was a moot point now that she knew what she knew.
Being half sister certainly made the choosing process a lot easier. She couldn't be a Godmother and an Aunt at the same time.
Thinking about it Lulu had to admit she actually liked Paine…. For Rikku at least. Her friend couldn't be happier and she didn't know how Paine did it, but she was glad for it. They both deserved to be happy but above everything Paine deserved to know the truth.
"Why are you here?" Lulu asked coldly. "After all these years… Why now?"
If this woman was going to get in the way of that happiness for selfish reasons then Lulu wouldn't allow that. As fucked up as this thing was Lulu was going to make sure it didn't get any more fucked.
##
"You done being mad at me for nothing?" Rikku whispered into Paine's ear as she settled herself over her on the couch.
"No." Paine pouted but then wrapped her arms lowly around Rikku's waist.
"No?" Rikku pretended to be surprised. She leaned down and placed a small kiss on Paine's lips. Paine kissed her back just as gently.
"But I forgive you."
Rikku burst out laughing. "Oh well where would I be if you weren't so understanding?"
Paine shrugged. "I ask myself this every day."
Rikku smiled down at Paine. "I can't believe I love you."
Paine laughed a little. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"
"Of course, my dear."
"I can't believe I love you either."
They smiled.
"I thought we agreed that we're never ever gonna fight?" Rikku whispered.
"I'm sorry baby," Paine leaned up a little to connect her lips with Rikku's. "Let me make it up to you."
Rikku giggled. "Pops is gonna be home any minute."
Paine lowered her hands to Rikku's ass and the blonde giggled more and squirmed around on top of Paine, which she didn't mind at all. "So."
"So? He'll kill both of us!"
Paine moved her hands back to a safe place on Rikku's back. "Fiiinnneee."
"Whoa whoa I didn't say he'd be back this second…"
Paine grinned and cupped Rikku's ass in her hands again. "You're so sexy." She commented, suddenly feeling inspired.
Rikku laughed but blushed at the same time. "Stay over tonight…"
"Yeah?" Paine asked with the biggest grin on her face.
Rikku nodded. "You know how I'm afraid of the dark, Pypo."
"I'll protect you." Paine murmured before their lips met again.
"Mmm." Rikku moaned into the kiss when Paine's hands squeezed her. They broke apart breathless. "Paine." She whined.
Paine chuckled. "What, Princess?"
"Why are you so mean?"
Paine shrugged and Rikku laughed and lay her had on Paine's left shoulder. Paine adjusted her hands to actually hug Rikku affectionately. They both sighed at once which made Paine smile to herself. She loved the new door they had opened in their relationship and the perks it came with, but she loved the closeness it provided more than anything. She felt so at peace with Rikku just lying on her. "Were you just lying in here thinking?" Rikku asked quietly looking around the den at the holiday decorations.
"Yeah."
"I don't like Buddy, Pypo."
Paine sighed. "I know, Rikks. To be honest I've known that, it's just with you, I get…"
"Jealous?"
Paine nodded. "I found you and any threat of losing you just makes me all…"
"Crazy?"
"Protective."
Rikku took a second to collect her thoughts. "I'd never hurt you… I love you, I do. I wanna spend all my time with you, even when you're being grumpy. I wanna show you off and stuff and well…"
Paine chuckled as Rikku grew frustrated. "I love you because you ramble."
Rikku playfully tried to kick Paine. "That's the only reason? You big jerky jerkface."
Paine chuckled and just held her closer. "Among many others Princess."
##
""I brought you back something Paine." Cid announced as he snatched his wallet from Rikku's hands. She always took his Bikanel Gil when he came home from there. Yevon knew what she did with it, but it's been that way ever since they moved to New Luca.
"Me?" Paine shocked. "You didn't have to do that."
"Well too bad, I did." He kicked over his large suitcase right there in the middle of the hallway and then unzipped it to reach for the edges and pulled out a long tube just a tad bigger than the suitcase itself. It wasn't easy getting that thing in there.
"Pops Christmas is like next week, really?" Rikku put her hands to her hips and Cid waved her off. Rikku examined the tube and rolled her eyes once she realized what he got her. "You got her a sword?"
"You got me a sword!" Paine asked in the exact opposite tone.
That's just what Paine needed, more weapons. Rikku had found the gun Gippal gave her to hold about a week before she left for Bikanel. A pair of brass knuckles a month before that. A sling shot a week before that, and it was no secret that Paine had a baseball bat right under her bed. Rikku had made it very clear that she didn't like Paine having these things. It had been one of the more serious arguments between the two lasting up until now. Paine refused to get rid of them, and Rikku refused to indulge in the hobby. Paine argued that it wasn't a hobby, and Rikku argued that it wasn't safe. Paine argued that she was a professional, and Rikku argued that getting shot doesn't make you a professional, and so on and so forth….
She knew her girlfriend was into all that stuff. I mean her name was Paine for Yevon's sake. She was a black belt, a instructor, a work out nut, a Physical Science major. This is the only real reason she let the argument die time after time. If it made her happy then fine, Rikku just felt uneasy about the whole thing. Why on Spira did she need a gun, brass knuckles, a baseball bat, a sling shot, AND a sword for? Rikku's forehead creased in worry as Paine took the tube from Cid.
Cid glared at his daughter. "You love to ruin surprises don't you? Well if I wanted to give it to her at Christmas you ruined it."
"Boohoo Pops." Rikku chuckled. She could tell he went out of his way to get something Paine liked he wasn't really upset.
Cid turned to Paine ignoring his daughter's antics. "I know you're into fighting, maybe you can train with this thing… Maybe you can mount it." Cid shrugged and watched as a wide eyed Paine opened the tube rested it to the side, and then unsheathed a thin blade with an embezzled grip and a red sash. "It's an Al Bhed Desert Katana. A little shorter than the normal one, not really sure why, maybe you could look that up. Merry Christmas kid."
"Paine, don't." Rikku gave her gleeful girlfriend a serious look when the other woman started swinging it around.
"Rikks." Paine gave her a look right back that said relax. She turned to Cid. "This is pretty badass, thank you."
"You're welcome. Let me know if you are looking to learn how to wield it, I know a man from Santos, It's a really small city in the desert. He could teach you."
"He's in the city?" Paine asked.
"Yeah, he trains for a living now, used to sit around and make those things."
"That would be something."
"I'll set it up…."
Rikku shook her head and wondered off to go call Yuna about doing a proper grocery run for Christmas dinner.
##
"Are you done being weird?" Paine asked as she entered the attic where Rikku was drawing, Her Christmas gift tucked under her arm in its protective tube.
Rikku glanced at Paine and then looked back to using her thumb to smudge a dark area her oil pencil had just made. "What?"
"You just disappeared." Paine made sure to lean her gift near the crimson colored loveseat carefully before walking over to Rikku.
Rikku laughed a mischievous little laugh before she brushed her thumb lightly on Paine's nose before going back to what she was doing while Paine wiped her nose in her shirt. "It's been at least an hour and a half and you now notice I was gone?"
"Has it really been that long?" Paine asked still fighting to get the oily lead off her nose. "Was that really necessary by the way?"
"You have a cute nose."
"Does that stuff stain?"
"Not on skin."
Paine sighed and went back to sit on the small couch. "I didn't realize your dad knew so much about weapons."
Rikku smiled to herself. "Were you two bonding?" She teased.
"We were just talking."
"For more than three minutes?"
Paine laughed "Is that bonding?"
Rikku made her smile known. "Aw Pypo."
"Shut up."
Rikku just giggled to herself and went back to drawing. "You know Pops is a junior? Cidney Euan Bayla Jr."
Paine let out a laugh "Cidney?"
"Ssh, don't tell him I told you."
Paine shook her head. "So he's a junior?"
"Yup, his Pop was this big airship aficionado, used to fly 'em all over, kinda like a pirate of the sky."
"Sounds pretty cool."
"Well the way he paid for the money to fly all over is by moving machina weapons around. Used to ship them to everyone, even the Yevonites"
"Believable."
"So if you want to know about machina, Pops is your guy. That's really how Brother got so into it. Doubt he knows much about swords though." Rikku shrugged.
Paine laughed again to herself. "Cidney…"
##
Rikku sighed even louder this time.
Still nothing
Paine sat at Rikku's desk on her laptop while Rikku lay on her bed watching a blank TV.
"Did you know they use actual sand crystal for the embezzle?" Paine turned around and asked cutely
Rikku gave her a blank look. "I'm Al Bhed."
"I know baby, but did you know that?"
"We use sand crystal for a lot of things; I'm saying I'm not surprised."
Paine turned around quickly and began typing away and then reading very intently. "….and the average height of a dune warrior was around five feet four inches, hence the couple inches off the katana length…" Paine scratched the back of her head. "That makes sense…"
Rikku just shook her head. She was so damn cute it was hard to get mad at her when she got like this; all nerdy and what not.
Still, it was about midnight.
She had turned off her TV an hour ago and her girlfriend hadn't noticed. She had also taken off her pants leaving her in pale pink panties and bra and her oversized shirt under the blankets.
"Paine?"
"Yeah, Ri?" Paine asked still reading.
"It's time for bed."
Paine nodded to herself. "Let me just read this last paragraph."
"How long? I'm sleepy."
"Well baby lay down I'll be right there…Ten minutes, I promise."
Rikku yawned. She knew once her head hit the pillow she would be out like a light. She wanted to snuggle up with Paine and maybe even get a little late night lovin' in but she doubted Paine even remembered that conversation. She didn't know if it was possible to be having this issue the day after they had had sex for the first time. Weren't they supposed to not be able to keep their hands to themselves? Rikku turned the lights off which didn't seem to bother Paine one bit. The blonde got back into bed and covered up with her back to the light of the computer screen. She briefly wondered if Paine would like her Christmas gift this much. She couldn't be shown up by her own father…
Paine noted the time and closed out of the informational websites. She let a soft smile come onto her face when she saw Rikku's background image on her desktop. She hadn't seen it before because Rikku had some shopping site open when she went to use her laptop. It was a picture taken by Yuna. It had to be some time after Halloween but way before Harvest. Rikku's nails were still Gypsy Green. It looked like they were in a parking lot somewhere. It took Paine a second to remember that that was the night they all had an ice cream craving and went to the market late to buy a tub of vanilla ice cream and an obscene amount of toppings. That's when the winter chill started picking up. Paine in the image was wearing Shuyin's maroon beanie, her leather jacket and her purple scarf Rikku got her. She had her left arm around Rikku's waist as the blonde wrapped her right arm around Paine's and rested her head against her shoulder. She wore a content little smile and was holding a bag in her left hand. It was a nice picture of them Paine concluded as she closed the laptop and blinked a few times. When did Rikku turn off the lights?
"Hey." Rikku whispered sleepily when she felt Paine get into bed and spoon her.
"I like your background." Paine whispered before she leaned down and placed a little kiss on Rikku's cheek. "Do I get a goodnight kiss?" She asked. Her girlfriend nodded and they shared a soft kiss on the lips. Paine smiled a little as she watched Rikku close her eyes again. "You forgot…"
"No." Rikku rubbed her eyes open now. "You were taking too long, I told you I was getting sleepy."
Paine nodded and then kissed Rikku again on her cheek. "Let me make it up to you, Baby."
Rikku rolled onto her back and crossed her arms as she looked at Paine. "You said that already today."
Paine chuckled and leaned forward to place a few kisses on her neck. "I know, that's because I was really excited about that part of my apology."
"Well you know what I'm really excited about?"
"Hm?"
"Sleep… Go hug up on your sword." Paine laughed onto Rikku's neck and the blonde smiled. "But I just want to let you know that I don't think it will put up with your nonsense like I do."
Paine wrapped her left arm around Rikku's stomach under the blankets. "That's why you're a keeper, Princess." Paine found Rikku's lips again in a tender kiss. "I've been really thinking about you all day." Paine mentioned after the kiss.
She really had been, the sword was a welcome distraction to how badly she wanted to touch Rikku again.
"About what?" Rikku whispered noticing the tone in her own voice when she spoke. Paine's left hand was rubbing her lower stomach gently enough for Rikku to know that she was wide awake now.
Paine grinned and placed a few more kisses on Rikku's neck. "Let me show you." She whispered on her tan skin.
Rikku laughed and wrapped her arms around Paine's neck. "Fine fine fine, I guess I'll let you redeem yourself."
##
"You asleep?" Wakka asked as he finally got home from work at midnight. Lulu was tucked in bed as she always was when he saw her now a days.
"I was waiting up." Lulu managed in her sleep soaked state. She even had her eyes still closed.
Wakka smiled to himself and got into bed with his future fiancé. Christmas was only a week away and he could hardly wait to ask her. Sure he was nervous as hell, but Wakka really knew there was no other girl for him. He wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her belly. "How's da big lady and the little man ya?"
"Why do I have to be big?"
Wakka chuckled. "Cause you look like you swallowed a Shoopuf egg, Lu."
Lulu huffed and they both fell quiet for a little while. "Work was—"
"I invited her over."
Wakka picked himself up to look at her face. "You shouldn't have."
"Well I did."
Wakka sighed. "How did it go?" He asked as he brought himself back down on the bed. There was nothing he could do now.
"She…. It went okay I suppose. I honestly think Paine ought to meet her, she didn't have many options and well...I need your help."
"Lu."
"I know."
"And yuh still making me do it? Paine will never wanna look at either of us ever."
"People change, Wakka. They change all of the time and for what? For what?"
Wakka sighed. "The people they love."
"So…"
"So you really think diss'll work? You need to be sure."
"Trust me I understand the delicateness of this all. I'm in this too you know."
Wakka held her closer. "I know."
Lulu sighed. "Father keeps calling…"
"You not answering him?"
"I don't know what to say to him if I did."
"Yuh Mum?"
Lulu chuckled. "Is mother's day too far away?"
"You meetin' up with everyone else's mum but your own." Wakka joked.
"Maybe…. Do you think that I'm doing the right thing in not talking to her first? I must seem so immature."
"She's not exactly getting the mother of the year award."
"She's been—"
"I know it's me."
"Wakka—"
"It's alright ya? I'm already used to it."
"If she can't accept you and our family, then she can't accept me, it's only fair."
"But to who? Little Blitzer needs grandparents to spoil him ya? I've been thinkin' about it, and I don't have parents so…"
Lulu cut him off and grabbed his hand. "Franco will be raised by plenty of people who love him, that's all that's important."
##
Paine held the door open for Rikku as they left Dr. Vice's office a few days later. She dipped her hand in her pocket for her car keys and pulled them out when they got over to the car.
"—I mean I think that he had a lot of positive things to say." Rikku nodded as she slipped her hand from around Paine's arm when they got to the dark blue two door. "You need to wash this thing." Rikku pointed to the car that now looked an ashy blue near the tires.
"It's from all this fucking snow and melting salt. It's supposed to snow again tonight, there's no point."
Rikku just shook her head. "Anyway like I was saying, I think he had a lot of good to say."
Paine got the doors open to her car and sighed heavily once she sat down and kicked off some snow on her boots before putting them in the car. "I don't know." She closed the car door and buckled her seatbelt. "It's helping but…."
"But what?" Rikku asked looking through her purse for a tissue for herself.
Paine began to reverse. "But I hate feeling like some kind of zombie… He said he didn't see any real results in neurotransmitters amounts…"
"But that's because it helps everything stay level, Babe."
"I know I know." Paine turned onto the main road. "Whatever."
"No not whatever, explain to me what you're feeling." Rikku blew her nose lightly. She woke up with the smallest cold that had went away in a few hours and left her nose runny.
"I just can't afford to continue with it Rikks." Paine shrugged in defeat. "I can't and I don't feel like it's helping anymore. I mean no withdrawal symptoms yeah, but nothing else has changed. It's not curbing me wanting to use—"
"You still want to?" Rikku asked a little surprised.
Paine shrugged again. "Sometimes."
"Why?"
Paine furrowed her brows. "Why?"
"Yeah, why do you want to?"
Paine shrugged. "Sometimes when I'm stressed out… nothing really matters when you're high… I miss that."
"You miss not having to worry." Rikku nodded. They had never really gone too deep into detail about Paine doing drugs. The blonde could tell it was something Paine felt ashamed about and would like to forget completely.
Paine nodded. "Reality… It kinda sucks."
"Well not all of it, think of all the things you're able to feel now…"
Paine focused on the road as she thought for a moment. Life had been a lot more exciting in the one year and eleven months that she had been clean. Paine always wondered if this was the kind of person she was underneath the addiction; a responsible young adult going to school, keeping a job, having a steady monogamous relationship. "Feeling… is like the only upside."
Rikku frowned. "What about being healthy? What about you being financially responsible?"
"I guess what I mean is that, it's just something I've never had, even before I started taking drugs. I always struggled with my feelings about myself, about others, just regular kid emotions were hard. Being able to learn that from scratch hasn't been easy, but look, I'm doing it, I feel… normal?" Paine glanced at Rikku who nodded in understanding. "And I was so low before that normal feels like… like I'm at the top of Mt Gagazet or something."
Rikku just smiled at her. This was not the Paine she knew several months ago. She was so proud of her. "I love you."
Paine chuckled. "I love you too, baby."
"Things with Martha are going well. You haven't gone straight home and taken a nap after a session in weeks!"
Paine nodded as she turned a corner. "That's exactly what I'm going to do now though. I'm fucking tired."
"Yeah this was a little early considering…"
Paine smirked. "Someone keeping me up."
Rikku laughed. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Sure, Bayla, sure."
Paine finally pulled up to Rikku's house. "Alright, call me and such." Rikku reminded as she gathered her things and leaned over to give Paine a goodbye kiss.
"I will, thanks for coming today…and last night."
Rikku blushed and playfully hit Paine. "You're worse than a guy, oh my gosh."
Paine grinned and leaned in to steal one more kiss. "Love you." She called as Rikku hopped of the passenger's seat.
"Love you too, Pypo."
"Tell Cidney I said hi."
Rikku laughed and gave her a thumbs up as she left for her porch, keys in hand.
##
Paine froze once she entered her apartment thirty minutes later to find all of her roommates, including Wakka sitting in the living room. "What the fuck?" She asked as she kicked out of her boots and shrugged out of her coat. "Who died?"
Gippal stood and looked as his best friend carefully. In all his years of knowing her he didn't know how she was going to react to all this. "Sit down, Dr. P."
##
"Hold on Yunie it's the door."
"At this hour?"
Rikku shrugged. "Could be Pops, you know he lost his key in the snow the other day? He's out with Leblanc right now too" Rikku trotted down the stairs and remembered to check the peep hole. "Paine?" Something seemed so wrong right now it made Rikku's stomach flip. "I'll call you tomorrow Yunie."
Rikku whipped the front door open and examined her girlfriend's appearance. Paine was only wearing her leather jacket and a black V neck shirt in the dead of winter. Her hair was slightly damp and it looked like she was sweating. Her shoes and the knees of her jeans were completely covered in mud too. "What in the Machina happened to you?" She asked stepping aside. She grew even more concerned when Paine didn't move. "Paine!" Paine shook her head lightly and stepped into the house. It was when she passed by that Rikku knew she had been drinking too. "Are you drunk too? Paine, Baby, what's wrong?" Rikku watched as Paine fought to take off her shoes but fell on her ass. The younger of the two put a hand to her forehead. Her girlfriend was never a sloppy drunk. "Paine Amelia Kerrigan."
"I fucked up…" Paine managed from her spot on the ground. "Fuck fuck fuck." She hit the base of her palm to her cheek with each curse and that's when Rikku realized her hands were covered in dirt and her fingernails had a line of black dirt caked into them.
"What are you saying? What did you do?" It was around one in the morning and this was so unlike Paine that she really feared something horrible had happened. Rikku had thought nothing of the fact that Paine never called her to say that she was home or going to sleep, she hadn't thought anything of it until now of course. She leaned down to help Paine stand. "You're—wait, Paine."
Paine had managed to stand up and was now going for the front door again. "I left my… my fucking keys in my car…"
Rikku stilled her. "You drove here! What are you retarded? Huh?"
Paine pushed Rikku off of her. "I'm not retarded okay? Don't call me fucking retarded!"
Rikku's eyes widened. "Baby what the hell! Why are you so worked up? You know I didn't mean it like that, you could have gotten hurt."
"And I'm not fucking hurt either okay?" Paine ran a dirty hand through her hair. "I'm not hurt…."
"Alright alright, but you're scaring me right now."Rikku tried to catch her eyes.
Paine paused. "No, ah fuck baby… I … I didn't mean to. I'm not like this all the time it's just I'm so fucked right now and angry, I'm really fucking angry, but not at you, never at you, I love you okay? I love you with everything I have and everything I know. I just… I'm just….." Paine started breathing heavily and ran both hands through her hair. Rikku heard her take a shaky breath of air. "I'm just…"
"Pypo. It's okay, it's okay." Rikku walked back over to her and tried to lower her hands but Paine just kept them on her head so her arms were covering her face. "It's okay."
"It's not okay!" Paine cried out. "It's not fucking okay! Nothing right now, or ever will be okay again! Can you get that? Can you understand that, Princess?"
"Alright baby, alright." Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine tightly and felt her heart sink its lowest when Paine began to cry. Her body shook and she was literally fighting it with everything she had but it was no use. These tears were a long time coming.
Rikku didn't even know what to do. She was the emotional one, the crier, not Paine. Paine had always been the one dry her tears and reassure her. She was her warrior. The sound of strangled tears broke Rikku's heart into tiny pieces. It wasn't a normal sound; it was the kind of cry that came when you were at your lowest, when there was really nothing left. Rikku had to do something, anything. "Come, upstairs, just you and me, come." Rikku led Paine into her room and sat her on the edge of the bed before disappearing into her bathroom to bring a warm damp hand towel to clean her face with. When she returned to the room Paine was leaning over with her head in her hands. She was still shaking a little and Rikku could hear the tightness of her trying to stop crying. "Let me see your face." Paine didn't move. "It's okay." Rikku whispered as she walked over to her and tilted Paine's chin up to wipe her face clean of tears, sweat, or any dirt that got on it because of her hands. Paine didn't look at Rikku, she just took a shaky breath.
"It's okay to cry Pai—"
"Lulu's father is my biological father..."
Rikku yanked herself away to get a good look at Paine. "What!"
"He fucked an 18 year old girl 21 years ago, he didn't want anything to do with me because he was already married and shit, gave her money to take care of me… I wish she fucking did. Cunt."
"Paine!"
"What Rikku! What? I'm sorry for fucking cursing alright? But what in the fuck do you want me to do right now? Huh? You got some happy ass story about your life that you can tell me to make me feel better? No, no you don't, because I'm still fucking here. I'm still here and I wish I wasn't."
Rikku's frown deepened. "Don't talk like that."
"I dug that bitch's grave too."
"What? Who's?"
"Lulu, for when I put her pregnant ass in it," Paine shot up a new fire in her eyes that Rikku had only seen once before.
Rikku pushed her back down on the bed and Paine glared. "I don't even know if what you're saying is true because frankly you smell like you've been swimming in sake."
"Who the fuck does she think she is Rikku?"
"I can't believe you actually dug her grave, Are you crazy!
"Well we can check now can't we? Create a fucking family tree."
Rikku sighed. "Paine."
"I mean where the fuck did they think I went?" Her voice broke. "What kind a person lives that close knowing, fucking knowing that they have… another child? That they just turned their back on. He fucking looked me in the eye downstairs and did nothing! What kind of person just gives up a kid and doesn't look back until twenty one frickin' years later!"
Rikku sat beside Paine. There had to be some truth to this. Paine wasn't the type to waist her time and energy digging anyone's grave unless she was really convinced that they deserved it.
Or she was a drunken emotional wreck…
"…When I was getting bullied and called names and fucking beat to shit where the fuck were these two? Huh? When I was getting abused and when I started crushing oxy with my textbooks and snorting it, just so I had the fucking balls to go and fuck some girl who said she loved me, just to try and pretend to feel that because I wasn't getting it anywhere else, where the fuck were they?" Paine's face twisted in hurt and she began crying again. "Fuck Rikku." She was holding her head again in what resembled a sitting fetal position. "Where?"
Rikku reached hand out to sooth Paine and her girlfriend flinched away so quickly she almost fell off the bed.
"Please just…I…I can't." She stammered.
"Baby."
"Stop!" Paine moved her hands away and glared at Rikku. "Just stop it!"
"What am I doing?" Rikku asked in a mixture of hurt and confusion. Paine's face softened considerably and she put her head in her hands again. Rikku knew that that was her cue. She scooted closer to Paine and wrapped her right arm around her back.
"I can't do this Rikku…" Paine sniffled and leaned into the comforting embrace. "Why me? Why can't I just catch my breath before something gets thrown at me again? I'm not that strong… I'm not this strong…"
It broke Rikku's heart so bad to see her person in this type of anguish, because that's what it was. Paine didn't know how to feel and it was evident in how quickly she seesawed between deep sadness and intense anger.
"Whatever you can't do I will do for you, this is how this works baby. I'm right here. I'm never leaving; you just need to calm down okay? Take a breath for me Pypo. " Paine nodded and took another shaky breath. "That's good."
"They should have never told me… They should have just let me be happy not knowing…I was happy." Paine took another deep breath. "They should have never told me."
"Everyone deserves to know the truth, Paine."
Paine just shook her head no. "I came here cause… cause you know how to keep me out of trouble… you know how to handle—"
"I know how to love you." Rikku corrected. "You're not something that needs to be handled Paine. You're a person, my beautiful, strong, intelligent, funny, brave, caring person. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You hear me?" Rikku kissed Paine's temple and just held her closer as she tried to calm down. To see Paine so broken stirred something up in Rikku. Whoever had made her girlfriend cry was in for a huge surprise.
AN: I feel so bad that I haven't replied to reviews until the last minute. Life has been nuts! Lol I really hope you like this chapter. I love all the new reviewers too! Keep 'em coming and I'll keep writing! It's going to be an emotional next couple of chapters, buckle up kiddies.
KathleenDee