Chapter 35
The blue lightsaber hummed as it slashed through the air. Over the past week since returning from Brolsam, Leia often found herself in Luke's training room with the lightsaber she had kept from Nar Shaddaa. Luke's own lightsaber sat on the floor. He had left it behind when they went undercover on the Brolsam base in case they had to go through any weapon scans. Now it lay untouched on the floor.
There had been no news on Luke. The Alliance had called in on their spies abroad the Devastator. Darth Vader had returned to the ship from Brolsam, but there was no log of a prisoner arriving at the same time. One spy even went down to the detention center of the ship to get a visual confirmation. None of the prisoners kept there were Luke.
Several members of the Alliance High Command thought Vader had most likely killed Luke off already. They spoke of Vader's history of instantly killing off Jedi and any force sensitives. Yet Leia knew. She told them as much. She would have felt it if Luke were killed. Even now she reached out along their connection and was met with a solid wall. The type of wall she was familiar with when Luke wanted to keep her out and away.
Surely I would know if Luke was gone. Surely it would be different. She told herself. I know he's still alive.
Others wondered if perhaps Luke had been transferred elsewhere. Perhaps to the Dathomir Imperial Prison or to Imperial Center. Yet the Alliance's intelligence network had yet to find any trace of Luke. There weren't any on traces Brolsam, which sent up some red flags. Someone had clearly erased any record of Luke's capture. Leia had no doubt it was Vader.
Though she had voiced her concerns, the Alliance hadn't really believed her. When asked why she was so certain Luke was alive, a few scoffed and frowned at her when she tried to explain it was a feeling she had. It had frustrated her to no end. They seemed so willing to trust Luke and his "feelings" because he was the Jedi. But they couldn't believe her?
Leia's mother had also been quite vocal about finding Luke. She also believed Vader was personally behind this, and that they needed to focus on the sith to find Luke. Yet, High Command said they already had Vader under as much surveillance as they could. It was hard to get spies close to him, and all his personal files were under heavy security. The Alliance had yet to get anyone or anything close to Vader. Plus it wasn't as if Leia's mother could fully explain why she thought Vader would be so personally involve. As such Alliance members saw her as an over-worried mother.
Finally annoyed with the mother and daughter, the Alliance gave the two new duties. Padmé was shuffled into the bureaucratic mess of supply requests of the Ordnance and Supply and the Ministry of Supply. She made her way through request forms and inventory lists as she made sure all information was up to date across all parts of the Alliance. With the Alliance constantly on the move and separated into many different parts, it was easy for the paperwork to simply get casted aside to be filed later.
Leia worked in intelligence going over various news reports from various different systems that weren't broadcasted in Basic. While at least it was a job using her background, it was still tedious and boring. Many of the news broadcasts were filled with mundane reports on the weather, local politics and news.
Her anxiety from Luke missing to her boring job gave her lots of pent up energy. Often after her work shift, she came here to tire herself out with the lightsaber. She desperately wished she knew what she was doing. She had no idea if anything she was doing was correct. Did she have the correct grip? Was she swinging it correctly? At least she hadn't accidentally sliced off her own leg yet.
She had yet to try practicing with any of the seeker droids. Luke kept a nice little collection of them. The memory of Luke using the lightsaber for the first time on the Millennium Falcon was still fresh in Leia's mind. He stood there with a helmet on with its blaster shield down. A seeker droid zipped around him.
She remembered the conflict of emotions. On one hand she wanted to tell Luke to stop as their mother had always been vocal about the two learning to use the Force. On the other hand, she had been intrigued. There was some sort of spell on her as she watched. She had experienced it the few other times she had watched Luke train as well.
She remembered Luke's proud smile the first time he deflected a seeker's bolt, and Ben turning to Leia. "Perhaps you would like to try as well?" the old man had asked her.
Leia found herself at the cabinets in the back corner of the training room. The metal door was open and inside was a box of seeker droids. She picked one up. When Ben had asked if she wanted to try training with the lightsaber she had hesitated. She was afraid. And that's what it really boiled down to. She was afraid.
Blend in. Don't attract attention. Stay hidden.
Back on the Falcon those many months ago that was the excuse she had given herself. Her mother's mantra. Yet it was pointless to follow it now. Luke was gone. Taken by their father, the very person her mother had invented that mantra for.
"Kriff it," she said as walked back into the center of the room with a droid in hand. Everything had been dashed to hell already. Her mother's mantra abandoned. There was no point in following it now.
She set the seeker droid on the weakest setting and watched as the small sphere raised up into the air. Leia took a few steps back and brought her lightsaber and ignited it. The droid shot off a few lasers. Each time they hit, it sent a sharp but small pain into her.
A Jedi can feel the Force flowing through them.
Leia took a sudden breath as the words float through her. They are not her own. They're not Luke's. It almost sounds like Ben. A laser hit in her upper arm. She had gotten distracted and lost track of the droid. She grunted in annoyance and brought her saber back up.
Let go of your conscious self and act on instinct.
This time she wasn't surprised by Ben's voice. Instead she kept her saber up, and followed the droid. Again the droid shot at Leia. She barely missed it before stung into her shoulder. Again a laser bolt stung into her. She was getting frustrated. Why did she think she could do this?
Stretch out with your feelings.
Leia stopped moving, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Stretch out my feelings? She wondered how to do that. Keeping her closed she imagined the training room. She saw the cabinet in the corner and Luke's lightsaber on the ground. Through each breath the picture became clearer and clearer.
Without even thinking she brought up her saber and felt the hilt in her hand jerk. She opened her eyes in time to see the red bolt bounce away from the blue beam. There is a sharp intake of air, but Leia realized it was not her own. She spun around to see Winter standing in the doorway. Embarrassment immediately flushed through Leia. She felt her cheeks starting to burn.
Winter was dressed in her normal princess attire of the white belted flowing dress. Her hair is carefully pinned into two buns on either side of her head. She glanced around the room, but eyes kept coming back to Leia, the lightsaber, and the seeker droid. Remembering the droid, Leia turned and snatched it out of the air. She quickly turned it off.
"Win-Winter," Leia said awkwardly. "Hello."
Winter appeared to collect herself and stood a bit straighter. "Hello," she replied and stepped into the room.
"Can I help you with something?" Leia asked.
"I was just coming to see how you were doing," Winter replied.
Leia had barely seen Winter since coming back from Brolsam. After a few attempts at trying to convince Winter to speak to High Command about Luke, Leia just avoided the princess.
"I'm fine," Leia said. She knew the words sounded false and hallow. "Have you heard anything about Luke? Any leads?" She couldn't help but ask.
"No," Winter said sadly. "Still no sign of him." She paused. "No trace of him. Nothing."
"And you don't think that odd?"
"Of course I do! Everyone does! Why not go public with Luke's capture? It would be huge hit to our morale. The High Command has been scrambling while they prepare for the backlash for when the Empire finally announces the execution of Pilot Who Shot Down the Death Star. Yet there is nothing," Winter said angrily. Leia can't blame her. She understood Winter's frustrations all too well.
"There is a rumor," Winter continued, "That they might be waiting to execute him in a more public manner. Possibly waiting for the next Empire Day or some other large scale event."
"Is there any large scale events coming up?"
"There is a navy exercise happening at Tureen VII coming up soon. We know Vader is scheduled to be there with his own fleet. Besides simply having spies already in the Imperial navy, the Alliance hadn't planned to do anything during the exercise. Far too risky with more than one fleet along with Vader in attendance."
"But now?" Leia couldn't hide the hope in her voice.
"At the moment, still nothing." Winter sighed. "Are you sure he's still alive?"
"Yes," she replied confidently. "I can still sense him. I know he's alive."
"Sadly some of the members of the High Command don't share your conviction."
"They don't believe me?" Leia asked. A sense of dread rose within her.
"No. They require a bit more solid proof than one girl's feelings."
"It's more than a feeling!" Leia shouted. "It's the Force!"
"No need to argue with me, Leia," Winter said. "I know the Force can work in wondrous ways. I know Luke is strong in the Force."
"But not me?" Leia asked.
"I don't know," Winter said staring intently at Leia as if she was studying her. Scrutinizing her. She glanced at the droid and lightsaber still in Leia's hands. "Are you?"
"Why is that you believe Luke to be strong in the Force, but not me?"
"Because I've see first hand what he's capable of. He's done amazing things. He has amazing luck. There is no way he is just a simple farm boy or a simple fighter pilot. He does things only a Jedi could do."
"And I haven't . . ." Leia said. A familiar anger started to grow in her. She doesn't coat her bitterness as she speaks. "I've never even been given the chance to do otherwise. Someone keeps putting me on standby on the ship each mission I go on."
"I apologize. Perhaps I was a being a bit unfair," Winter said. Her voice sounded sincere, but something feels off about it to Leia. "I hope to change that. Maybe give you a mission to show your worth?"
It was after Winter left, that Leia realized she had agreed to a mission without really thinking about it. She let Winter's words roll around in her. She felt uneasy about all of this, but she didn't know why.