Sad Girl
I felt like I was being led into hell by the devil himself as August led me up to the school Monday morning. I felt like I was stepping off a cliff into oblivion without a parachute. Like I was walking into the lair of a beast unarmed. Like I was entering the dragon's keep to get away from some angry villagers. I felt like I was going from a bad situation to an even worse one. My weekend had been horrible, but I was absolutely and one hundred percent sure that my week was going to be about ten times worse.
August and I were dead silent as we walked. I could care less. I had nothing to say to him that didn't involve a lot of screaming and about a thousand curses. And, apparently, August had no desire to speak to me unless he had some kind of bad news to bear. Or maybe he just didn't know how to make small talk. Either way, I didn't care. In fact, I hardly noticed. I was too caught up in everything going on around me.
All around us, people's thoughts were centered on August's possessive arm around me - wondering when we had become an item. They all knew that Will and I had broken up. Thanks to Facebook and Will's new relationship status as 'single.' However, none of these people seemed to know anything about the breakup; not where or when or why. They only knew that it had happened. That didn't surprise me. Will probably wasn't even in school yet, and his best friends were probably the only people he told the whole story too. Or should I say, most of the story. I wouldn't be surprised if he left out a few details, like how he'd told me he loved me.
"Don't you just love all this attention princess?" August asked me, his voice falsely sociable. Really, he just sounded smug.
"Not really," I mumbled.
"Really?" he asked, but I felt as if it wasn't really a question, "You don't love having everyone's eyes on you? Having them all think about you. Having them all obsess over you."
"The only one obsessed with me is you," I muttered dryly. Really, I wasn't in the mood for witty banter. But if the comeback was in my head, I might as well say it.
He drew me closer to him, pinning me against his side tightly. "It's called love princess," he said in a teasing but slightly irate voice.
"Sure it is," I grumbled under my breath.
"Eh?" he questioned and I knew that he'd heard me and wanted me to retract the statement. It was his equivalent of 'what did you just say?'
"Nothing," I muttered, "Just let it go."
"Very well then love," he said, loosening his grip just a bit. We were silent again, mostly because I would never institute conversation with him. I preferred to not have to talk to him and would avoid it if possible. And today of all days, I especially did not want to talk to him. And not just because he was positively prime evil, but because I was more focused on scoping the area for Will as we emerged onto the concrete courtyard in front of the school, bustling with students. I didn't spot Will though. I did however, locate our friends. And by that I mean my former friends and Will's current friends.
They were by their usual watering hole, the left stairs. They seemed agitated and disbanded - unorganized and edgy. They reminded me of a restless pride of lions. What with the way they were all stalking around the stairs - pacing and moving about - making it impossible for anybody else to pass. They were all very angry, with me actually. Will had told them what had happened and they were royally pissed. Will was their best friend after all. They loved him. He was their leader and their little brother at the same time. He was someone who looked after them but also needed to be looked after too. His pain was their pain. They really were like a pack of wolves or a pride of lions. To everyone else in the school, they were the ruthless predators, but they looked after their own.
They were all angry at me but worried about Will. He was late. Not that that had never happened before. But it still made them edgy. When they'd last talked to him yesterday he'd been really low and they were worried that he would do something stupid. They weren't the only one's.
But when they spotted me . . . God you'd think that I had killed their families. Kristy was the first to see me as I approached the building with August. Her face . . . I would never forget her face. I'd always thought of her as shallow, only liking Will for his good looks and popularity. But now . . . Now I saw it. She really did love Will - not like I did, but it was still love. And she was every bit as protective of him as I was. Which is why she wanted me dead.
She was standing up, face alert and full of hatred, reminding me of some kind of scout. She summoned the other's attention and they all looked over at me. All at once, their expressions morphed to intense hatred, their thoughts swirling with anger. Except for one person . . . Heather. She was sitting on a step with Mike laying down between her legs, his head resting against her abdomen. He looked absolutely murderous, but she didn't. She was just stroking his hair soothingly and absently as she stared at me with confusion.
I had to look away.
"Why don't we sit out here for a bit love?" August suggested, leading me over to a cluster of picnic benches, "Enjoy the nice weather?"
"Fine," I said and sat down next to him. He wrapped an arm over my shoulder and I swore I could hear Aaron grinding his teeth from all the away across the courtyard.
August and I were both silent. It wasn't uncomfortable silence, but it wasn't comfortable either. It was just silence. He was playing with a strand of my hair but I felt as if his thoughts were elsewhere. I didn't care though. I just let him play with my hair and stared straight ahead at the loop of road up ahead where the buses had been parked, waiting for Will to show up. I was worried about him, but I was also trying to avoid looking over at Kristy and them. Hearing their thoughts was bad enough.
"Slut. I fucking hate her. I liked her better when she was with Will. At least then he was happy," thought Kristy, her lips curling back from her teeth angrily.
"That lame-ass cunt. I can't believe she cheated on Will. He liked her so much too . . .Fucking bitch. He's better off without her," thought Aaron, seething.
"That tramp! First she breaks Will's heart and then she steals my guy! Whore!" thought Juliet, angrier then I'd ever seen her.
"I'm gonna fucking kill that cheating whore. It would serve her right for what she did to Will," thought Mike. He meant it too. The only thing stopping him was Heather's soothing but reprimanding touch.
And then, there was Heather. The odd-man out as always. She wasn't thinking about how much she wanted to kill me. She was confused actually. She was going around in circles in her head as she ran her fingers through Mike's hair. She was so in tune with him that she knew he was contemplating hurting August or I. Which is why she had him practically lying in her lap. She knew she could keep him calmer if he was closer. She was stroking his hair absently though. She was actually deep inside her own thoughts.
"This doesn't make sense. Why would Nettie break up with Will?" she thought, "They were so happy. Everything was perfect but maybe there was something going on behind the scenes . . . No, no. I know that's not true. They were perfect. I could feel it . . . No, no . . . This doesn't make any sense. Something's wrong. Something's very wrong."
I had to hand it to Heather. She was perceptive.
I forgot all about Heather though when the sound of a roaring motor reached my ears. I looked up, along with most of the other students, to see a shiny black motorcycle flying down the road. I stared in silence, along with everyone else, when the motorcycle stopped in front of the school. I was honestly shocked to see Will sitting on the back of the motorcycle, his arms around some masked woman's waist. I was not surprised though that he wasn't wearing a helmet.
Everybody, myself included, stared as Will dismounted the motorcycle. He looked hot. He was dressed in dark jeans, threatening black motorcycle boots, and a black sleeveless shirt that revealed his impressive arms. Around each of his wrists was a leather black band and dog tags hung from around his neck. His hair was ruffled as always but he'd dyed it again. The once colorful tips were now all black. He looked hot as hell right then.
"Thanks for the ride Xaxa," he purred.
"No problem Jailbait," said the woman as she removed her helmet. She was the older girl from Nightmare that Will had been making out with. The psychic vampire with the purple and white hair who looked like she was in her early twenties. Xana was her name.
"Maybe next time I can drive?" he suggested.
She laughed. "We'll see."
"What? You don't think I can handle it?" he teased.
She rolled her eyes. "Maybe you can drive on the way to Little Lyn's tonight. 'Til then try and behave yourself," she said, moving as if to put her helmet back on.
"What? No goodbye present?" he said with mock innocence.
She grinned. "How about a kiss?" she offered.
He shook his head and wrinkled his nose like a bunny.
She sighed in exasperation, but she was smiling as she extracted a very small plastic bag of white powder from the inside of her jacket. She handed it to him discreetly. "Here you go you little brat."
"Thank you Xaxa!" he said in a mock childish voice as he slipped the bag into his pocket.
She rolled her eyes. "I'll swing by your house tonight around ten. Try and stay out of trouble 'til then," she suggested.
"No promises," he grinned devilishly.
"I didn't expect any. I'll see you tonight," she said, grinning back.
"See ya tonight," he said and turned to walk away.
"Go get 'em tiger," she said, smacking his ass playfully.
"That's sexual harassment!" he shouted at her, spinning around and smiling.
"Go to class," she told him.
"Stay away from me you creepy old pedo," he said, pretending to be outraged.
"Catch ya later Jailbait," she said, grinning and putting her helmet back on before speeding away.
"Fucking rapist," he muttered sarcastically to himself. He looked around for a moment, surveying his audience. His eyes slid over me and paused. He stared me dead in the eye. His were full of anger and pain, but he wore a huge smile on his face, even as he stared me down for that second. And then, he looked away. Like he hadn't even noticed me.
He went over to where his friends were congregated silently on the stairs. He hopped over the railing agilely and stuck the landing. "Hola los amigos," he said grandly to them. They all seemed to snap out of their haze then. They'd all be watching him interact with Xana in shock - surprised that he'd bounced back so quickly.
What they didn't realized was that it was all an act. Will was hurting but he was covering it up. Very well, I might add. I wasn't surprised that he was good at hiding his true feelings. After all, he'd been able to hide the fact that he was abused for the last seventeen years. Pretending not to be heartbroken was probably a piece of cake for him. And once he had his drugs in him he'd be set for the rest of the day.
"Hey Will," Aaron said casually, trying to shake away his anger, "Who was that chick you were just with?"
"Oh that's Xana," Will said, grinning smugly as he extracted the bag of white powder from his pocket along with a dollar. He wasn't even afraid of being caught with drugs on school grounds.
"How old is she?" Mike wondered. He was still angry but he didn't want to bum Will out, so he suppressed it. All the others had figured the same thing and were putting on happy faces.
"Twenty one," announced Will smugly as he poured a little of the white powder into his hand.
"That makes her a pedophile," Juliet chirped.
"Now, who said the two of us were involved?" Will asked innocently, rolling up the dollar, "We're just friends."
"Friends who molest each other," Aaron teased.
"That's the best kind of friendship," Will said with a huge grin before he began to snort some of the white powder using the rolled up dollar. I watched in shock. I'd never actually seen Will do drugs with my own eyes. It was torturous watching him fill himself with poison. I was filled with the intense urge to rush over there and take the drugs from him like one would take something sharp away from a small child.
"Hey - you gonna share any of that?" Kristy piped up, putting a hand on her hip demandingly.
"Hmmm . . . Let me think about it," he said, snorting a little bit more.
"Sharing is caring," Juliet recited.
"Well in that case," he said, holding the bag closer to him, "This is all mine."
"Oh fuck you," Aaron said as Kristy flipped him off.
"Kidding!" he said, pouring a little more into his hand before tossing the bag to Kristy, who grinned. I couldn't believe they were doing drugs right out in broad daylight. God, you really could do anything in Hollow Creek.
"That a boy," Kristy said approvingly, pouring some of the powder into her hand before tossing it to Aaron.
"So where ya going tonight with that older chick?" Aaron asked as he poured some into his hand as well before tossing it to Mike, who declined, and threw it to Juliet.
"Oh this party a friend of our's is having," he said vaguely, sniffling like he had a cold. His eyes were already becoming bloodshot.
"And you didn't invite us?" Kristy asked petulantly, snorting the powder through a dollar she'd extracted from her pocket.
"That's not very nice ya know," Juliet chimed in, snorting some as well before throwing the half empty bag back to Will. He put his finger into his mouth and sucked on it for a second before dipping it into the bag. The fine little crystals clung to his wet finger as he extracted it back out of the bag. He ran his finger over his lips, coating it in the crystals, before putting the finger back into his mouth and sucking off the remains. He licked the rest off of his lips when he was done. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. And neither could Juliet or Kristy for that matter.
"You don't know them," he said, shifting his weight back and forth, "It would be weird for you."
"You're weird," Kristy accused giggling.
"Well you're weirder," Will returned, laughing. Juliet and Aaron joined in. Mike rolled his eyes and grinned while Heather just sighed, still lost in thought.
"I think you're both weird," Aaron said.
"You're mom is weird," Will said, his eyes bright red now with pink shadows underneath them, "In bed."
"I know right?" Aaron said and they all burst out laughing, minus Heather and Mike.
I looked away. I couldn't watch this anymore.
"August," I said in my smallest voice, "Can you take me home? I don't feel well."
He looked at me in such a way that told me that he knew I was faking - that he knew exactly why I wanted to leave, but still he said, "Okay love."
"Thank you," I murmured, leaning against his side as if I found comfort in his closeness. I didn't. I just wanted to get out of here. All I wanted was to be away from here. Away from Will and his friends. Away from his denial and their hateful thoughts. I wanted to get away from this school - from this town. Somewhere where the pain couldn't touch me. Where August couldn't touch me. Where Will couldn't hate me. I wanted to get away. Far, far away.
Unfortunately, that was not going to happen.