#35)
Requested by: Kyubii-Sensei
Characters: Neji and Sasuke
Situation: Neji and Sasuke are both sitting in a bar, angsting about their lives, when they get into an argument over whose problems are worse.
Requirement: The bar must blow up.
Pairings: No Pairings.

Disclaimer: It's still two am. They're still not mine. K. Masashi can have 'em... for now... until I'm awake again.

Uchiha Sasuke sat calmly at the local bar of Konoha, a cup filled with sake in his hand as he sipped it slowly while staring at the wooden counter. He would sigh on occasion before taking another sip and shaking his head, muttering about something or other under his breath.

He'd been there for about four hours, and it was as it almost reached five that a very dirty, bloody, and angry Hyuuga Neji stormed into that very same bar, falling down on the stool beside Sasuke and ordering the strongest stuff they had. The bartender put a glass in front of Neji and poured him some shoshu(1). When he went to leave, Neji grabbed the bottle, telling him to leave it. The bartender shrugged before muttering something about it being Neji's funeral, and then turned to wander off and serve someone else.

"Rough day?" Sasuke asked as he poured more sake into his cup, surprisingly sober, despite everything he'd had to drink since he'd arrived.

"The worst." Neji replied before taking a large swallow of shoshu. The two sat in silence for a while before Sasuke turned to him again.

"What happened?"

"None of your business, Uchiha." was the smooth reply.

"I know, I'm just bored." Sasuke replied, sipping his sake. "Besides, it can't be half as bad as my problems."

"Oh, really?" Neji turned to glare at him. "I don't believe you. Mine are far worse than yours."

"Were you absent from Konoha for almost four years?" Sasuke smirked. "It took a long time for me to get this mission I just went on. The villagers still don't trust me."

"And whose fault is that?" Neji asked dryly before sipping his shoshu again. "At least you don't have a submissive seal."

"You're right, I have a curse seal instead." Sasuke stated dryly. Neji turned to glare at him.

"My father was killed by his own brother!"

"My whole family was killed by my brother!"

"I'm in love with someone who hates me!"

"So am I!"

"People often mistake me for a girl!"

"I get that all the time!"

Neji paused, trying to think of another. Sasuke beat him to it.

"I have a fangirl posse!"

"You should be thrilled." Neji insisted. "After all, doesn't every guy wish women would throw themselves at his feet?"

"You get a fanbase and let me know." Sasuke grumbled, downing some more sake. "Besides, I'm stuck with an idiot like Naruto."

"I've got Lee."

Sasuke paused, and sighed. "Fine, you've got me there."

Neji smirked before drinking some more, trying to find something else to shove in Sasuke's face. "I had to take the Jounin exam four times before I passed it."

"Seven." Sasuke replied. "And I'm stuck with Kakashi."

"I've got Gai."

"Kakashi's worse."

"Gai's an idiot! How is Kakashi worse?"

"He's a pervert! He always talks about sex!"

Neji jumped to his feet, his fists clenching. "You always think your life is worse than everyone else's because of your brother! The world doesn't revolve around you, Sasuke!"

"Oh, really?!" The Uchiha slammed his hands on the bar to help him stand, glaring at the Hyuuga. "Well just because you're some reject Hyuuga who thinks he's heir when he's not doesn't give you the right to mouth off at me!"

Neji's eyes widened in anger.

"Kaiten!"

"Chidori!"

Tsunade sighed as he put the complaint down and looked at the two Jounin in front of her. She rubbed her temples, closing her eyes.

"So let me get this straight." She paused, sighing again. "You both got into an argument, and thought it would be appropriate to have an all-out fight in the middle of a public bar?"

"We weren't thinking clearly." Neji replied honestly.

"I'm not going to let either of you blame it on the alcohol." Tsunade muttered as she looked back down at the complaint. "You injured seven people, destroyed over two hundred alcoholic beverages, and blew up the entire bar. What have you got to say for yourselves?"

Both were silent for a long while as they tried to think of the best possible answer. At almost the exact same time, they came up with the same idea. Both men pointed to the other before saying,

"He's got issues."

Tsunade hit the floor.

END.

(1) Apparently, it's a Japanese liquor similar to vodka.