Chapter 35 - Virus - Part 2

...

She had to have that answer... but... she wasn't sure she really wanted it...

...

"Hey"

Cuddy entered the living room holding Mia in her arms, smiling slightly and putting on the ground the shopping bag in her other hand. Grace ran toward her clinging to her leg and she ruffled her hair, then leaning over to kiss Rachel, too focused on the cartoon she was watching to get up from the couch. She kissed House on the cheek then putting Mia in his arms.

"I'm going to change" she said, stroking his neck and looking at the images on the screen before adding "This movie again?"

Hotel Transylvania. Rachel's new favorite cartoon movie at least for a week.

"She reminds me of someone!" House said laughing and ruffling Rachel's hair, sitting on the couch next to her, glancing at Cuddy "But she watched it only a dozen times!" He added, shaking his head "Very far from your record!"

Cuddy smiled and looked at the screen again.

Count Dracula with baby Mavis, his daughter, as he changed her diaper... kissed her tummy... told her bedtime stories... playing guitar for her... For everyone the terrible Count Dracula... for his daughter a sweet Daddy...

"Even that Dracula reminds me of someone" she said, smiling, stroking his stubble and kissing him on the lips, looking into his eyes, before leaving the room to go change in something more comfortable.

...

House looked at Cuddy as she tried to convince Grace to eat something. She had practically eaten just a few spoonfuls of her soup and then she had closed her mouth turning her head away.

"She won't die from hunger, Lisa" he said, looking at his daughter as she reached for her pink plastic cup with spout and brought it to her mouth "She'll eat when she's fine"

Cuddy nodded. Actually after her stomach flu the most important thing was to keep her hydrated, she thought looking at her as she drink from her pink cup, then looking at her own plate. She had eaten reluctantly too. Not that she was ill. But her stomach was closed. And she didn't need a psychologist to figure out why.

Does she have to talk to him? Honestly she didn't know if actually there was something to say... Probably everything would have burst into a bubble...

That question had spun in her mind all night... She looked at herself in the mirror as she undressed to take a shower. House was with Rachel and Grace. After a week spent with him in mom-and-dad big bed it hadn't been easy to convince them that they should go back to sleep in their own bed. In the end they had bargained over it and they had achieved a double bedtime story. Rachel was certainly already asleep, collapsed after at most four lines. Grace not. Not even two years old... and yet she never let him to skip any part of the bedtime story. It wasn't easy to dupe her. Certainly something she took after his father.

She looked at the little box in her hand, turning it in her fingers. She could have just run a blood test in the hospital, but she hadn't wanted to draw attention to herself and had opted for a simple pregnancy test from the supermarket. She continued to look at it. She certainly didn't need to read the instructions. She had made at least a dozen of those in the past, waiting for a completely different outcome from the one she wanted right now, an outcome that had never come. She had never had the pleasure to see that second line to appear, and certainly she didn't want to have it now.

Really? Was it really that the answer she wanted?

She didn't want a pregnancy. Of that she was sure. The last thing she needed now was destabilization. Three daughters. One just six months old. Certainly now she didn't have the desire of having another child.

She opened the box and pull out that white and pink piece of plastic. She would have had to wait until the next morning as recommended on the box. But she knew she wouldn't be able to wait. She needed that answer. And she was going to talk to House only if there was something to talk about...

She put the box in the bathroom cabinet and close it while she took a shower, delaying of a few minutes that thought and trying to relax under the hot water. She let the water flowed on her face and body, relaxing her muscles, tensed after that week of sleeping on the couch, but she couldn't completely dispel the thought that lingered in her mind.

She put on her bathrobe watching that pregnancy test again. Five minutes... five minutes and she would have had her answer. But as always, five endless minutes... Time won't pass faster just because you keep to watch it! ... She thought placing the test on the shelf of the cabinet and began to brush her hair in an attempt to distract herself.

"Lisa..."

Cuddy turned back as soon as she heard the bathroom door open and looked at House, instinctively closing the door of the cabinet.

"Have you seen my watch?" He asked.

Of course she had seen his watch. She was practically counting every seconds of that watch. She handed it to him with the hint of a smile and watched him as he put it on his wrist before approaching her.

"You're beautiful..." he said resting his hands on her hips, caressing the soft fabric of her bathrobe and brushing her lips.

Cuddy let out a little laugh, shaking her head slightly.

"No... I'm not..." she said, looking in the mirror at the dark shadows under her eyes before meeting his eyes with the hint of a smile.

"You are..." he said again, brushing her lips and moving his hand on her face looking this time for her tongue.

Cuddy let herself go to that kiss, lost in the feeling of being in his arms and moving in turn a hand on his face as she kissed him back. She felt his hand moving down along her neck and then under her bathrobe, baring one of her shoulder as he kissed her behind her ear, stroking her skin with his thumb.

"Greg ..."

He felt her hesitation and raised his head to look into her eyes, finding in her eyes the same hesitation he had heard in her voice.

"I... I... I forgot to take my pill" she said not looking away but failing to avoid unknowingly to bite her lip "... more than one" she added looking at him before looking down, shaking her head slightly.

House looked at her not moving his hand from her hip until she took a step back and run a hand on her forehead resting with her butt against the sink, still looking down.

"I really don't know what was in my mind..." she said, running her hand over her face before looking up at him.

He continued to look at her without saying anything.

"Um... let's see..." he said putting his hand over his mouth in a mock thoughtful way but letting out a smile "The social worker. The adoption. Mia's surgery. Two sick children" He said taking a step forward towards her resetting again the distance between them and touching her arm with his hand, stroking her with his thumb "I'm not surprised that it wasn't among your priorities" he added with the hint of a smile that she didn't return, looking into his eyes and then looking down again.

"I... I'm a week late" she said, looking up at him, and then looking down again, shaking her head. She didn't give him time to reply, moving away from him and taking the test from the cabinet, placing it on the edge of the sink.

They both looked at it then looking at each other. Too early to know the result yet.

Cuddy sighed, looking into his eyes.

"What if... if it's positive?" She said, looking at the test and then again at House.

"Well, we'll have to give a salary increase to Marina!" He said, letting out a laugh "A big one!" He added, shaking his head slightly as he smiled.

Cuddy glared at him.

"You're not funny, House!" She said, looking at him with an exasperated look, putting her hand again on her forehead and covering her eyes, as if she were about to cry.

For the first time in her life she didn't want to see that second line appear...

"I... I don't want another pregnancy" she said without looking at him.

"Another pregnancy. Or another baby, Lisa?" He said still watching her as she slightly shook her head and a small bitter laugh escaped from her lips.

They should have been synonymous. But they weren't. Not for her. And he knew it. He knew her better than anyone else, and sometimes better than how she knew herself. That "I don't want another pregnancy" wasn't synonymous with "I don't want another baby." Because the truth was that it wasn't true that she didn't want another baby. Of course, the timing would have been absolutely awful... but 'what she did NOT want' was NOT "another baby"... That double negation made that a twisted thinking even to herself... She did NOT want another pregnancy because the truth was that actually... she did not want to lose another baby...

House's voice woke her up from that thought.

"It's negative" he said looking at that piece of plastic and then at her. His tone was calm. A pure finding of fact.

Cuddy hesitated and looked up at him.

"Um... are you... are you sure?" She said, looking at him as if she wasn't sure she had heard right.

House just handed her the test.

"A single line. It's negative." "He said, looking at her as she nodded, turning that piece of plastic in her hands. She looked at it again and threw it in the trash.

A single line. Negative. She wasn't pregnant. She met House's eyes for a second before looking down again. What she felt inside herself was not what she thought to feel. She wanted it to be negative. And it was negative. So why the hell she felt like she was going to cry? It was what she wanted. She didn't want to be pregnant. She kept telling that to herself like a mantra. But what she felt inside her was the exact opposite of a feeling of relief.

House drew her to himself wrapping her back with both arms as she hid her face against his chest, in turn putting her arms around his waist. He let him to stroke her back, his chin resting on the top of her head.

"You should test your FSH level" he said continuing to caress her as she nod against his chest.

"Let's go to bed now... you need to sleep..." he whispered, kissing her hair.

...

They haven't seen each other for almost three days. He was busy with a case that was literally giving him a hard time... she had had the umpteenth problem in the hospital and was overwhelmed by paperwork. They just had breakfast together and then they didn't see each other all day. And on evening Cuddy was so tired that she fell asleep before he came back home.

House recognized the clicking of her heels on the floor as she approached his office, but he didn't move, still looking at his computer screen with his arms crossed on the chest and his feet propped up on his desk.

"God! Are you kidding?" She exclaimed in her administrative tone, widening her eyes as soon as she stopped on the doorframe. She didn't need to see what he was watching... the moans and sighs that came to her ears were clear enough.

She glanced at his team sitting at the table of the differential room, at the other side of the closed glass door, and then looked again at her husband, covering her eyes with both hands as she looked at those images. She looked at her with a mischievous look.

"What is it, Cuddy?" He laughed "It's certainly not your first time!" He said, laughing, looking at her as she glared at him.

"A ... porn, House?!" She hissed approaching him and ignoring his comment, looking at the screen again before looking at him straight in the eyes "Are you crazy?"

She wanted to yell. If the topic wasn't that her husband was watching a porn during working hours, in her hospital, she would have yelled. She approached him and moved his legs off the desk with such a rush that he almost fell off the chair.

"Lisa, is not what..." he said, letting out a laugh and shaking his head slightly.

"What? Isn't it a porn, House?" She asked in a dry and, at the same time, sarcastic tone, not letting him finish the sentence "I'm not an expert at this genre, but I guess I can recognize it!" She added in the same tone.

"Of course it is!" He replied "But it's not just a porn" he added, reaching out to touch her.

He rolled his eyes at her when she stepped back to avoid his hand from touching her hip.

"Look at that guy" he said looking into her eyes with a mischievous and, at the same time, amused look and nodding toward the screen.

"No way!" She replied holding his gaze.

"Look at him" he repeated with the same look, staring at her, and she couldn't help but sigh, turning her head toward the screen, going beyond the discomfort of watching those images. Not for those images in themselves of course, but for the fact of looking at them in her hospital.

It took her a while to understand what House wanted her to see. After all in that kind of movie it wasn't easy to focus on the actors' faces... And certainly that guy's face was the last thing on which the director had focused!

"God... it's..." she turned to House with a questioning look "is it... your patient?" She asked looking back at the screen and then again at House "I thought he was... a lawyer" she said, not hiding her surprise and at the same time her embarrassment.

"It's what his wife thought too" House replied, laughing, stopping the movie and looking into her eyes.

"So... has he been lying to her for what... six years?" She asked, shaking her head slightly.

"Well not really..." House replied laughing "in both cases, he fucks people to work!" He said, laughing again, and again reaching for her that this time she didn't step back.

Cuddy laughed in turn, moving closer to him and letting his thumb caress her hip.

"Ok" she said, shaking her head slightly and stroking his stubble "Do what you... have to do..." she said, closing her eyes briefly and smiling "But without sound, please!" She added, bending over to kiss him lightly on the lips before exiting his office.

She had come back in her office by less than half an hour when she heard the door open. She hadn't heard a knock on the door, so she didn't bother to look out of the bathroom door as she wiped her hands and quickly fixed her hair looking at herself in the mirror. She bumped into House as she exited the bathroom, but she didn't have time to walk out. His hand drew her to him and his mouth immediately found hers as he pushed her against the wall.

"Greg ... no..." she said as he lifted her skirt with one hand, touching her breast with the other through the neckline of her blouse "I have a meeting in fifteen mi..."

That word got lost in her throat, replaced by a deep sigh and a moan as he moved her panties by side and slipped a finger inside her.

"You'll be in time" he said on her mouth again looking for her tongue.

She was turned on. More than he thought. And he looked into her eyes with a mischievous look.

"Admit it" he said looking into her eyes and biting her lip "You weren't so disgusted by that movie" he said as her pupils dilated.

He looked at her as she smiled and ran her tongue over her lips, looking at his mouth. And she shook her head slightly. It was true. It wasn't what she could call her genre, but... it had awakened one thought in her mind... They haven't had sex for ten days ... and she wanted him. House looked at her only for a moment before kissing her passionately on the mouth, pushing her against the sink. He lowered his pants as she bend over, leaning with her arms against the sink, glancing at the bathroom door. It was closed, but... so was the one of her office? She didn't have time to ask that question because every thought faded, replaced only by pleasure, as soon as she felt him inside her. She closed her eyes to that feeling and put her hands over her face to stifle her own moans.

"Oh God, Greg ..." she whispered moaning as he thrust into her, rubbing her at the same time with his fingers. And her rational side succumbed completely to the irrational one as he quickly sent her to the edge of pleasure.

A disapproving moan escaped from her lips as soon as she felt him suddenly to pull his hand back and pull out of her, resting his head on her back as he came in his own hand.

Cuddy stood still as her most intimate part continued to throb, listening to House's heavy breathing against her back, before he kissed her between her shoulder blades, caressing her with his left hand.

She bit her lip as she straightened her back, fixing her skirt and watching him as he washed his hands.

"I'm so sorry..." She said, meeting his gaze through the mirror.

House smiled, wiping his hands and then putting them on her hips again, drawing her to himself and kissing her tenderly on the lips.

"It's ok" he said still touching her lips before looking at her with a mischievous look "I wouldn't like to find some condoms in my wife's desk drawer, Cuddy!" He said, biting her lip.

She laughed, shaking her head slightly.

"I'll make amends, I promise" she said, stroking his neck and kissing him lightly on the lips.

She looked at him as he smiled before moving away from him and looking at herself in the mirror, rolling her eyes.

"God, I'm a mess" she said fixing her hair again and then putting her hands on her cheeks "... I look like someone who just had an orgasm" she added, looking at her flushed cheeks and at the slight redness on her neck and cleavage.

"Maybe because... YOU JUST HAD an orgasm" he said, laughing, resting his back against the wall of the bathroom.

Cuddy glared at him as she began to fix her make-up.

"You look beautiful" he added, looking at her reflection in the mirror while she couldn't help but smile at him.

...

House opened the door of the Clinic room 1 and looked at Cuddy as she closed the patient's folder and handed her a prescription. He looked at that woman as she fixed her shirt. She was probably more or less fifty years old, but her unkempt clothing made her look much older. He just nodded at her as she passed near him, walking out of the room..

"Your patient?" Cuddy asked with the hint of a smile as he closed the door.

"He'll be fine" he said handing her his patient's folder.

He looked at her as she read it and nodded.

"I asked him a signed copy of his entire filmography" he said, looking at her and raising an eyebrow "... for my wife" he added as she rolled her eyes.

Cuddy handed him back the folder, then taking her own patient's folder that was on the examination bed. House took it quickly from her hand and she looked at him with a questioning look.

"She just has a urinary infection..." she said, looking at him as he browsed the folder.

"Forty-eight years old?" He asked, looking at her and raising his eyebrows.

Cuddy looked at him without answering.

"She looks at least fifteen years older than you" he said, shaking his head slightly.

Cuddy smiled and nodded slightly.

"Because I look ten years younger than my age, House" she said, smiling and looking into his eyes "well... maybe five" she added, laughing.

House looked at her, smiling, and closed the folder, placing it on the bed and going toward the cart at the other side of the room.

"Lift your sleeve and sit down" he said, filling a kidney dish with the need for taking a blood sample.

Cuddy snorted, but sat down on the bed, lifting her sleeve, without taking off her white coat, and looking at the test tube as her own blood filled it. It had been already four days since that pregnancy test and she hadn't yet do that blood test. Not that she didn't want to do it, she had just been very busy and she had forgotten it. She already knew what she wanted to know and she wasn't actually so enthusiastic of knowing that her ovarian reserve was definitively ended. But she smiled to herself at House's hurry... thinking back to what had happened in her office bathroom just a few hours earlier. Certainly if her FSH level was high, sign of impending menopause, she would no longer need to force him to a such a unsatisfactory ending.

She smiled as she bent her arm and House put the test tube in the kidney dish putting on it a label with the name of Cuddy's patient, not hers.

"Do you want a kiss on your boo-boo and a lollipop" he asked in the same tone he would have used with Rachel, putting a band-aid on her arm.

Cuddy laughed and shook her head slightly as she stood up and fixed her sleeve. She put her hand on the knob and slightly opened the door, hesitating a moment and then closing it again.

"... what if I really wants that lollipop, Dr. House?" She asked in an innocent tone of voice, turning to look at him and running her tongue over her lips.

House watched as she turned the key in the lock, while the picture that appeared in his mind sent him a shudder in his groin. She walked toward him and put a hand on his shoulder making him sit down on the stool that was next to the bed. She bent down to kiss him on the mouth and then moved her mouth on his neck while her hand unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans, slipping then into his boxers. She felt in her hand the immediate effect of the words she whispered in his ear, and that feeling completely erase her inhibition, making her completely uninhibited. Her hand moved slowly on his length, but to hear her voice whispering in his ear what she was going to do to him, item by item, would have been almost enough to make him come. He looked into her eyes as she knelt and bent over him, taking him into her mouth. Fully clothed, in her white coat... that had been one of his sexual fantasies for many years before reality exceeds his imagination. He let himself get lost completely in the sensations she gave him and gripped her hair in his hands, warning her that if she wanted to change her mind that was her last opportunity. Cuddy looked up meeting his gaze, but didn't stop. That 'I want every drop of you' she had whispered in his ear just a few minute earlier rang in his mind, sending him over the edge.

Cuddy waited until his breathing became more regular and then removed her hand, standing up and looking into his eyes.

"Thank you... for the blood test" she pointed out, smiling on his lips as he looked for her tongue.

"You're always welcome" he replied kissing her again.

...

House leaned on the nurses' desk taking a handful of lollipops from the basket and putting them in his pocket, before taking one of the folders. A morning in the Clinic was one of the things he hated most. But he didn't have a new case... and Cuddy was so tired in recent days that if she found him in the nurses' room, watching a soap opera, she would have make him find his balls for dinner! She and Wilson were both busy in a Board meeting and actually there was no way for her to notice his absence in Clinic, but it was definitely better not to put her on test!

Nurse Brenda glanced at him as she talked on the phone, but motioned for him to wait. House looked at her with a bored look. He could wait there all afternoon if it was for him. Those sneezing noses aren't certainly going to die in the meantime. He looked at the nurse as she took some envelopes from under her desk as soon as she hung up.

"The result of the tests you ordered yesterday, Dr. House" she said taking the few envelopes with his name written on top of them, and instead putting aside the one ordered by other doctors.

The nurse glared at him as he took also Cuddy's ones.

"I can't give you Dr. Cuddy's ordered tests" she said, trying to have back those envelopes "She's going to be mad at me and..."

House stared at her.

"And do you think she'll be mad at you because she has less work to do?" He asked, looking at her as stating the most obvious thing in the world "Trust me! She'll thank you" he said "Well... not as much as she's going to thank me!" he added with a wink, seeing her blush, before opening the clinic door with a satisfied look on his face. Certainly he would have never admitted that he was only making a favor to his wife.

He checked that long list of tests before finding between them also the result of Cuddy's blood sample of a couple of days earlier. He looked at that single value and smiled, closing his eyes for a moment before standing up, exiting the room. He put the patient folder on the desk as he walked out of the clinic followed by Nurse Brenda's exasperated look.