Want
As she slept, a curve of her hip remained exposed above the sea of blankets, a mottling iceberg, whiteness giving way to the curdling blood below.
He'd seen what his rejection had done, and now he was witnessing what his desire could do.
He didn't dare move her, afraid of what else he'd find. The five pointed bruise at her hip bone was his, and his alone.
His hand hovered over it again, confirming what needed no confirmation.
She'd been happy when she'd slipped away from him into the sleep he was watching now.
"Edward," she murmured, and then sighed, rolling over.
Her back was exposed now, and clear.
He sighed his own relief.
Thank God.
He could have hurt her badly. That moment of careless movement gripped at his guts again.
He knew that he couldn't risk rejecting her advances. She'd be too stung. It'd already been a delicate thing, he felt, unwrapping all the emotional hurts he'd caused her. She'd doubted even what they'd shared today. He'd heard it in her voice.
No.
He would have to swallow his fears. And be very, very careful. If he'd asked, or so much as looked at her with desire, she would have continued, and he could have—without pause—until she collapsed from exhaustion, or lack of food, or sleep. Or injury.
He wanted her even now.
Limits, he told himself, and wondered, how often a human body could be well, and engage in such activities.
He needed to do some research. Ask Carlisle.
He smiled at this last notion.
Carlisle would be happy to be asked such a question by him.
The patterns in Bella's breathing were changing, and she moved again. She'd be awake soon.
When he heard her eyes flutter open, he couldn't help but smile.
"Hey," she said, turning over to face him, then smiled widely.
"How're you feeling?"
She'd pulled the sheet up to cover herself. He'd dressed again, leaving clothes for her in reach.
"Pretty happy," she said, trailing her finger down his cheek.
He caught it, planting a kiss there. "Good," he said. "Physically?"
"Same," she shrugged.
By sheer will, he held together the mask of his placid face, reaching out a hand to shuffle away the rumpled sheet, exposing her hip.
She stared at the bruise there, and his hand, held just above, demonstrating the origin of the imprint.
"I said we would try, and we have, but I need your complete honesty, Bella." He swallowed, "you've minimized things before. Now is not the time for that."
Her eyebrows disappeared into her hair.
"Looking for a head to toe inventory doctor?"
He ignored her levity.
"Yes," he said, face utterly serious.
She sighed, closing her eyes. When she opened them again, she grinned, shifting closer, "how 'bout you help me complete it?" Then she tried to move in to kiss him, but slipped, and he had to catch her and keep her from falling.
"Yep, spectacular sense of coordination is still there," she mumbled, blushing. "I feel fine, Edward. Really."
"Humour me," he said. "Please."
"OK," she said, slipping on the robe by the bed, "help me stand up?"
On her feet, she took a moment to catch her balance, carrying her clothes with careful steps to the bathroom.
It felt interminable to wait for her to come back out.
When she emerged, dressed again, her movement looked normal.
"Well?"
"I'm fine."
He frowned.
"And that disappoints you?"
"Are you sure?" he asked, her hands in his. "I smelled blood."
The blush flared up her face.
"What?"
It took her a few times of opening her mouth, cheeks trying different pink shades on, before she could put words to it. Her voice was soft and low when she finally spoke. "That night, at the hospital, the doctor said that my cervix is, um low, and—" She was blushing intensely, clearly trying to ready herself to say something else.
"I understand," he said, grasping her meaning, "I should have asked you."
"Yeah, total conversation opener," shaking her head, but smiling a little.
He bent down and kissed her, hands on her cheeks.
"Believe me when I say that I want to know everything about you. Is there anything else I need to know?"
She shrugged, "I don't think so."
"Before you answer this question, remember that you promised you would be completely honest with me."
He hadn't let go of her face, and she looked slightly dazed under his touch, his breath.
"Did anything I do hurt? At all?"
She sighed. "You would try and stun me first before asking."
He knew his grin only intensified this effect, and it flared across his face.
"A teeny little bit," she admitted, "but...in a really good way. If that makes sense?"
His eyebrows slipped upwards, seeking clarification.
"I can show you later, if you want," she smiled coyly, playing with his shirt.
"I think there are limits to what the human body can endure." He kissed her again, letting her lean into him. "And you're still not well."
"I feel sooo much better now, though."
"Let's keep that trend going then."
She groaned as he pulled her away from the bedroom, towards the hall, and then the kitchen.
Suitably nourished, Bella headed back to bed, sighing as she looked at the stack of textbooks and neat lecture notes Alice had taken. Edward handed her the laptop, and she reluctantly began reading and typing, her occasional glances at him becoming fewer as the work enveloped her mind.
Her health improved as the days went by, and before the week's end, Bella was beginning to feel some minor cabin fever. It didn't help when her period began earlier than expected, forcing a fresh retreat to bed, armed with tea and a heating pad.
"Can I help?" he asked, holding out his hands towards her back.
She paused, and he remembered, from Emmett's thoughts, that Jun used to do just this after their practises.
"Please," she said, but there was a note of sadness to it.
"It's OK to miss him, Bella," Edward said. "You cared about him."
She blinked back tears for a moment, and then let them slide down her cheeks.
She'd fallen asleep in his arms that way, the togetherness bittersweet.
Since that first time together, he'd gently deflected Bella's attempts at intimacy, assuring her he would be completely willing, when her back was fully recovered, in a few days.
It was with mixed feelings then, that he heard Carlisle's all clear to Bella, to head back to class, and a cautious OK for resuming practise. She seemed so much more fragile to Edward now, all her places known to him. The intimacy of their bodies making it easier for his to hurt hers.
He'd pulled Carlisle aside before he left, the questions making his father's mind bubble with joy, hearing how their relationship had progressed.
Then he'd chuckled, when Edward had asked about frequency.
"That," he'd said, "has more to do with communication and trust than anything else. Trust her, Edward, and give her a chance to learn to trust herself." He looked at Edward, happiness and pride in his face. "You've found a way forward through something I know frightened you. That's a good thing. Enjoy it. Be with your mate."
The thought that Carlisle had so far kept from Edward, now flitted across his conscious mind.
Edward's wince was just a wrinkle at the top of his nose. "I know," he said. "And I would have. It just seemed like another...hurdle, for her." Then, with more concern, "You know my commitment to her is unwavering?"
"Of course it is, and I apologise. I was just...surprised. Not unpleasantly so," he reassured him. Then he tilted his head, watching Emmett and Bella laugh over a board game in the other room. "Will you?"
"Yes. Soon, just…"
"I understand, no explanations required," Carlisle said. "We're all just happy for you two."
After a few days of attending classes going well, Bella insisted on going to practise too.
Wisely, Edward didn't object, but went along to offer what he called 'moral support.'
"That code for keepin' me in line?" Emmett asked, putting on his sneakers.
"No, just being supportive," Edward said, smiling at Bella as she slipped on a sweatshirt.
When they arrived at the gym, Sam and Leo were waiting there, Dave a happy third wheel.
"Hey you!" Sam said, "The walking dead is back!"
Bella stopped, paling a little, making herself open her mouth and say "Hey," back at them.
Sam walked up and gave her a hug, but Leo hung back, Dave grinning and waving.
Bella waved back at Dave, but gave a small, and less certain, "hey, Leo."
He pretended not to hear her.
Edward's eyebrows pulled together, and Bella glanced nervously at him, clearly worried he might intervene.
But it was Emmett who spoke up. "She said hi to you, dude. Be polite." His large form, punctuated with folded arms, was not to be ignored.
"Hey," Leo mumbled, eyes down. Sam elbowed him.
"Have um, Jun's parents been in touch? Found anything?" she asked softly, wondering what, if any kind of closure they might have.
"Police came by, asked questions," he mumbled. "Told them what I told you. His parents are coming to pack up his stuff in a couple of weeks, if he doesn't turn up."
Bella nodded, biting her lip.
"It's nice of you to pretend you care," he muttered, turning and walking away towards the climbing floor.
Seeing Emmett's glare, Bella put an arm on him. "He's upset. It's fine."
The practise ran smoothly, unmarred by Dave's surliness, but at the end of it, Bella felt as muscular as a jellyfish.
At home, Emmett clapped a hand on her shoulder, "don't worry, we'll get you back into shape. Sure Edward will keep up his end of the training." Then he winked.
It was good they were outside, and it was dark, and there weren't any neighbours, because a snarling ball of angry vampires exploded into the front yard's generous space, making the ancient firs vibrate with contact.
Bella had barely had time to do more than blink at comment, paling with fear, jellied muscles trembling even more.
Alice was there instantly. "It's OK," she said softly. "They'll be fine. Just being stupid."
Bella managed a pained, "please stop!"
They did, immediately, clothes muddied, heads spiky with needles.
"Can we just...go inside?" Bella asked, voice shaky with the shock.
Edward glared at Emmett, whispering something Bella wouldn't hear.
Emmett snorted and rolled his eyes. "She ain't made of glass, you know?"
"I'm sorry," Edward murmured, coming to Bella, taking her hand, "it's not alright for him to say such things."
Bella swallowed, still shaken by their violence.
"Let's go inside," he said, taking her hand.
In their room, he kissed her forehead softly, "you're cold. Why don't you go have a shower, and I'll get some tea?"
"You could probably use a shower, too," she murmured, picking a leaf off his shirt.
He grinned. "Yes, perhaps."
Then she slid her hands down to his hips, and lower.
Suddenly, a shower sounded like an excellent idea.
They left a trail of clothes, pieces intact this time, on their way to the bathroom.
"Not here," he murmured, feeling her slip her legs around him. He made quick work of cleaning himself off, and then her. This accomplished, he flicked off the tap, and carried her back to the bed, drying them both rapidly as he went.
What she hadn't expected was for him to fish around in the bedside table.
"Um," she said, seeing what he'd procured. "Did I miss something?"
"No," he whispered, kissing her, and slipping the condom on, "but it was pointed out, that the presence of your blood, and what I exude, might initiate a change you're aren't ready for yet."
He watched the realization steal up her cheeks.
"Did you want to be part of that conversation?" he asked, kissing her behind her ear.
"No," she breathed out, shaking her head, and closing her eyes.
"I didn't think so," he said, smiling at her, making her eyes open again with the work of his lips.
He was very, very careful this time, his movement soft and gentle, watching her reaction to every inch he took.
She could feel him holding back, and pulled at his shoulders. "Don't," she whispered, "I want you."
The long groan she made as he pushed deeper made him shiver all over. She arched her back into the press of him, and he growled into her neck, tasting the fresh salt there.
Then she murmured, "wait," and scooted up on her hands, and turned her back to him. She reached back, hands pulling lightly at his thighs.
He knelt too, lifting her onto him, soft legs astride his folded knees. Then it was his turn to moan, her body accepting all of him. One hand steadied her hip, and the other teased her breasts, and then the softness his own body stretched.
It was easy now, to help her find the pleasure he wanted her to have, to let his own come, as she rippled over him.
He was barely out of her, hardening again, flicking the condom away, wrapping her in the blanket.
She kissed him, pulling him close, not letting him slip away, as he was trying to.
"I can feel that you want to," she murmured.
He chuckled. "Bella, I could do this all night long. You, however, can't."
"Try me," she said, slipping her hand down his chest.
"Later," he said, "I frightened you earlier. I'm sorry."
"Let me show you how you can apologize."
He chuckled, taking her hands and pinning them beside her. "I promised you tea, too, I believe. Then rest."
"OK," she sighed, wriggling her fingers. "I'll behave."
He let go.
"For now."
He slipped away from the bed before she could do anything but, and they walked downstairs together to Emmett's almost silent chuckle.
Over the promised tea, Edward could see her eyes blinking more heavily than she wanted them to. She was fighting it.
He slid his hands across the table, inviting her touch. "Soon enough, you won't need to sleep."
She picked up the smile before it slid too far from her face.
"I doubt I'll be interested in much then," she mumbled.
His own smile didn't reassure as much as he wanted it to. "It's only a year," he reminded her, "and in the space of forever, that's not long."
She nodded, half-heartedly, and when they returned to bed, it was only for her to sleep.
A/N for 2018-07-16 - I write on. If there's anything more you want to see happen in this tale, before it wraps up, let me know. I'm most open to suggestions.
~ Erin
DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.