Sorry guys, it's short. I know it's been forever, but holy Toledo, have I been busy… if you're keeping up with ODL you know there's something big coming up in this story, but not in this chapter. I could've waited to post a longer one, but I wanted to make sure you don't forget me. Arcee will hopefully receive a little understanding in this chap : )

Arcee stared at the hole in the deck wall, out the viewing wall and down at the floor. She couldn't decide if she was pleased or disgusted. She'd shown that femme a horrible memory, one that made the tripartite flinch even now, and within the space of a few hours that idiot Cessna had gone flying after the featured murderer in the memory. She'd even had the nerve to come back.

Served the glitch right she was locked up. Maybe all that time to reflect would snap her out of it, or maybe Ratchet would find the logic circuits she'd undoubtedly fried. Arcee simply couldn't comprehend how anyone could look at a Seeker and not feel equal parts fear and loathing, if not one or the other unpolluted.

Starscream was more or less directly responsible for Arcee's current state. He was the one who'd given her the choice, grinning like the slimy bastard he was, between killing him or trying to save all those sparklings in the hospice.

"I've already issued the order, Autobot. Leave now and you might save them. Or stay and try to kill me. I might be damaged but I'm not done yet."

She'd chosen the sparklings, but all she'd succeeded in was getting herself caught in the blast. He hadn't told her how soon it would blow, bastard. The off duty medics, the ones who'd been in the dormitory or the labs, had come when the Decepticons left. They'd found her, the pieces of her. If they'd left her she might've died, but their cursed oaths to preserve life meant they had to try.

They'd done it, and in all honesty they'd done a beautiful job. Each body, a piece of her old one, was fully transformable, fully functional… Still, one mind occupying three spaces was an insult to Primus. She wasn't as she'd been born, a child of the Allspark, and yet she lived. She knew she shouldn't brood, shouldn't let herself dwell on the past or on the imperfections nobody understood, but she couldn't help it. She was too angry, so alone.

Springer came to the City sometimes, and she had to scramble to get out of there before he could lay optics on the freak she'd become. She longed to face him, to let him smooth everything away the way he'd once been able to do so easily… But she was so ashamed.

And that damned femme, who at least had been crippled on arrival, was now so fragging perfect, she could have anyone! Well, maybe not anyone. Her constant lunacy wouldn't sit well with most of the mechs… She'd put Prowl's logic processor out in twenty-four hours or less. The fact that she'd somehow caught the Elite's attention was irritating, since Arcee'd always been a little jealous of them as a whole when she was a youngling.

The interest in the upper class had grown when she'd met Moonracer after joining the Autobots. Both of them were green, inexperienced and brimming with potential, but they'd overcome all their obstacles together, and they'd been close. So close they'd formed a sister bond. Moonracer had died about a vorn after that, and it still hurt if Arcee let herself think about the femme.

Springer had come into Arcee's life not long after and he'd been perfectly understanding. With his help, and sometimes the help of his friend, then Hot Rod, he'd helped her get over the loss and move on. She'd fallen in love with him so easily, so naturally, that at first she didn't realize it had happened. It was right to think about Springer in relation to most things she confronted, to look to him when she triumphed and failed. He intuitively felt her joy and her pain and gave it a new light.

Then they'd heard about the ejection of the Allspark. Arcee was already used to running, to hiding, so making the step and joining the ranks of the bots willing to strike it out alone to look for it was simple. It never occurred to Arcee that the search would go on and on and on, that she would be separated from Springer for so long.

She doubted anybody had thought it would take so long and yet prove so fruitless, so useless. The Allspark existed now in the body of a weak fleshling. At least it was the will of the Allspark.

Arcee wondered if anyone less than a Prime could survive being host to two distinct personalities. Had anybot but Rodimus or perhaps Optimus tried to save that idiot femme, would they be alive now? The younger Prime clearly loved his little leech, his 'sister,' but Arcee couldn't quite stomach the femme. She was stupid and thoughtless and she seemed to be adept at ruining the lives of every mech who got close to her.

Granted, Arcee wasn't perfect either, but at least she tried to stay out of everyone's way.

Sunstreaker's arrival snapped her out of her thoughts. She turned one pair of optics from the floor to him, crossing her arms.

"What do you want?"

"Why did you show her that memory?"

"She already managed to get that one around? Well, she's good, I'll give her that. Did she go door to door?"

Sunstreaker shook his head. "It's you're fault she's in trouble now."

Arcee threw up all three sets of hands. "Come on, she's a big bot. If she can't handle the truth she shouldn't be running with mechs like them."

"It's more complicated than that," the Lamborghini said, towering over the little tripartite.

"In what way?" Arcee poked. "You love her along with the rest of the slavering mass?"

"I understand her," Sunstreaker answered. Arcee got the impression that answer meant more than she understood it to.

"Ok, explain it to me, Sunny. And sit down, for Primus' sake…"

The yellow mech did lower himself to the ground, but he stayed a respectful distance from her. Ever since she'd put her gun in his face for getting too friendly his attitude had improved. She'd rather expected him to give up altogether.

"Sidewipe's told me about her, stuff Rodimus told him. The first time she met a Decepticon, she was human. He crushed her parents in front of her, and she ended up ruining her life after. She took it bad, but then she met Skywarp when he scared some humans who were holding her prisoner."

"And that matters because…?"

"She already knows what a Decepticon is. She doesn't need reminding, but Skywarp's not the same mech he was early in the war. He's done things for her that defy logic, at least if you think he's still the mech who used to leave the bodies of the bots he killed… posed everywhere."

Arcee flinched. She'd seen that once, Skywarp's old calling card. He'd arrange dismembered bodies in sickening parodies of romance and tenderness, piled in places where they couldn't be missed, a sick joke. She'd known some of the bots he'd left like that.

"How can they let her pursue him?" Arcee asked. "How can Rodimus let her be involved with him?"

"Rodimus knows how much she loves him. And… how much he loves her."

Again, Arcee had the feeling there was more to it than she knew about, but she couldn't figure out what. Shaking her heads angrily, she alternated her intakes to try and focus her mind, to calm her irritation.

"So… what are you doing tomorrow?" Sunstreaker asked hopefully.

They put me in one of the cells built for a bot my size, not the like the one they'd kept Skywarp in further down the row. I went straight to the plain metal berth even before Prowl activated the bars, lying on my side and facing the wall.

Two days. Two days for Skywarp to calm down, and two days for me to try to think of a way to plead my case. He couldn't get rid of me now, we were bonded, but he could certainly choose to never see me again. Who would blame him?

Recharge never came for me, nor did it for Skywarp. I listened to his brooding anger as it faded, but it never quite went away. He still felt betrayed, foolish… he refused to acknowledge my regret, my sadness and my desire to fix it, but I could only hope he would before the two days were up. As soon as they were over, I was going to find him somehow.

I was pointedly ignoring the Lamborghini twins. I didn't want to know how Sunny felt about what happened. I didn't ever want to see him again. I knew it wasn't really his fault, I'd let Rodimus go with Sideswipe, after all, and I'd made the decision to stay with Sunny… but I couldn't help but feel bitter towards the twin.