What is to Come
Chapter Thirty Six
They buried Jean in the rose garden. It was Ororo's idea, Jean had loved the roses. Some were a bit surprised that Ororo offered this, as some of her roses had to be disturbed in the process, but those who new both wmen well weren't surprised at all. Over the last couple of years their relationship shifted from teacher and student to colleague and friend.
It rained through the sevice, another thing none of the members of the household were surprised by, though the local media did note the strange weather pattern the hung solely over Bayville. Scott held his son in his arms through out the service, the baby unaware of what was happening slept through most of it after babbling loudly at the beginning. Rogue and Remy stood next to him, with Piotr and Kitty on the other side. Wanda, John, Pietro, Crystal, Kurt, Amanda, and Erik stood further back in the crowd.
Charles spoke of Jean, and her time in the school but Scott wasn't listening to what was said. Instead he focused his attention on the casket and his silent promises to his wife that he would protect their son and find the new child. No one aside from those standing with him, seemed to notice he wasn't paying attention, though Kitty gently nudged him when it was time to place his rose on top.
After it was over, and everyone had returned to the mansion (Rogue offered to take Nate and for once Scott didn't hesitate) he simply sat on the stone bench next to her grave. He ignored the drizzle the fell at a steady but light pace. He ignored the concerned looks his friends gave him as they left. He couldn't help how he was feeling, and right now he was feeling like this whole thing had been his fault.
If only he had manged to find her sooner. If only he had gone upstairs with her that day. If only they had never met, perhaps she'd be alive right now. Scott knew he would tae back that day if he could, he knew he would never stop wondering how it had taken them so long to find her, but he could never really regret meeting Jean. As much as he blamed himself, as much as he was hurting right now, he would never take back their time together. He would never wish away his son.
Nathan was the only thing holding him together right now. He hadn't even tried to fight Logan when Logan told him to stay herewith his son. He'd just numbly watched Logan go to try to rescue his younger child. A helpless baby forced into the world to soon. He didn't even know if he had a son or daughter. He wondered if the child was still alive. He also felt terrible, because when he thought back to all Sinister had done to himself, part of him hoped the baby wasn't, just so that the child wouldn't suffer.
Part of him knew though that the baby was alive out there somewhere. He couldn't explain how he knew, but he knew. It was almost like his connection to Jean. He couldn't explain it to himself, therefore he hadn't mentioned it to anyone else. He'd seen enough pity in the eyes of his friends over the last few days, he didn't need to see more.
"I know right now it doesn't feel like it's ever going to get any better. I promise you it will, in time." said a man's voice behind him, Scott was startled enough that he jumped off of his seat and glared at Erik who had come up behind him. "The important thing to remember is not to repeat my mistakes. Don't push your children away to mask your pain. You can never get that time back, if you're lucky enough to get a second chance."
"I just buried my wife, and my son isn't even a year old. I doubt he'll remember that at his mother's funeral his father stepped away for a few minutes. If he does ever remember it, I'll make sure he understands that I just needed space for the day. What would you know anyway? You never had anything to do with your kids until recently."
"That is how I know Scott. Years ago, following the loss of my wife and daughter, I pushed my children away. I sent Pietro to live with extended relatives, and I put Wanda in a hospital, and I gave Lorna up completely. Until she tracked me down in Genosha to confront me, I had no idea she would know where to look. It wasn't until I nearly lost my son I realized what I had nearly given up. I would not wish that on you, or anyone else."
"... I don't know that you've been informed or not, I don't know how much Charles tells you, but I'm going to have to leave Nate sometimes. I have to because Nate is not an only child. I have to find my son or daughter, they are still out there somewhere in the clutches of a madman. I don't know if years from now my son will understand or remember any of this, but I'm not going to tell him he had a sibling out there but I refused to look."
"No one's asking you to do that Scott, I'm simply reminding you not to forget your son in your pursuit of your other child." Erik said as he turned away from the grieving man. "It's a terrible fate to lose a child, or a wife. Especially a child. I have faced it before myself, and only wish to offer you my aide to see you through this."
Scott nodded and gave a curt thanks before waling away himself. Though the man may know what it was like to lose those you love could he really now what it was like to now your child still lived but was out of your reach? Could any of them really understand the feeling?He couldn't fail this child, it was bad enough he failed his wife. He wondered sometimes, why this madman targeted him and Jean. He had done nothing to invoke the man's anger, nor was he that extraordinary in his own opinion, yet he somehow became a target to this monster's ire.
While Scott was being kindly lectured on how to deal with his grief, Remy and Rogue were on the other side of the garden enduring her brother's latest attempt to get them to join him on Genosha. Both were becoming increasingly irritated with Kurt as he tried to talk them into the move. "Look Kurt." Rogue finally said. "I miss you and everything, but I can't just leave, not with that baby still missing. Not without finding out why all this is happening."
"All this is happening because your husband painted a target on the X-en's back by agreeing to allow a madman to put him under the knife!" Kurt said. He failed to notice Remy paling under the accusation, but Rogue didn't. "All of this is because he's a selfish coward who already cost a friend her life and I won't stand by while he costs me my sister as well. I know you probably can't see it Rogue, and I can see that he didn't know what he was getting into but this is all on him. One day you will wake up and realize that standing with a traitor instead of your family did nothing but cause you pain and suffering-"
"If you are finished? Good! First of all, Remy is not a traitor and never has been. Secondly, he didn't know what the man was when he agreed to help. Help to control his powers before he hurt somebody. You may not know what it's like to have an uncontrollable power capable of harming those you love but I do, so back off. Third, if Remy hadn't warned us the Morlocks would be dead right now. Spyke would be dead. That little baby in there would never have been born at all, so before you go around claiming things are on his head think about that. Finally, all of this? The registration crap, the hunting us down, the taking of the Summers' all of it, that had nothing to do with Remy. He was planning all of this long before he met Remy, if Remy had stayed it all still would have happened, if Remy had refused him to begin with all of it would have happened, so don't go adding to the guilt I already have to fight every single day for of this is because of him!"
"You were kidnapped and tortured because of him!" Kurt yelled in response.
"I was kidnapped and tortured because a madman decided he wanted to experiment on me. If you can't stop then you just need to go."
"Are you really choosing him over me? I'm your brother."
"He is my husband. And as much family to me as you are."
Rogue then waled away from her brother,leading her husband along the path, and refusing to look back. Until Kurt was ready to see he was wrong, she wanted nothing further to do with him. Remy already spent to much time blaming himself, he didn't need anyone else helping him there.
Kurt watched his sister walk away with hurt and anger in his eyes. He wished she could see how bad this relationship was for her and how much danger she was in. If Remy really loved her, he like Piotr would at least send her away, if not come with her. No one else could see this, not even his own wife, who told him more than once that he was wrong and that if he brought it up to Rogue he was likely to lose his sister. At least temporily. He had argued that she had to see reason, to which she countered that he was sounding lie he own family or Kurt. Kurt refused to see a similarity which had lead to their first fight just before he had gotten on the plane.
He was surprised how quickly Rogue not only jumped to Remy's defense but had so completely sided with him that she would walk away from her own brother in favor of him. Confused and irritated, Kurt decided to see out his old friend, Bobby, to have someone on his side.
Bobby was sitting in the security room when Kurt found him, watching the feeds of the gates. Logan had insisited that someone remain on watch the entire day and Bobby had offered to take this slot. Logan, Bobby, and Remy especially were concerned about security breeches during the funeral. Scott was always concerned about breeches, as was Rogue. Kurt sat next to his friend and watched with him for a few minutes.
"Rogue's angry with me." Kurt finally said. "I tried to tal her into coming home with me, and it exploded into a fight and now she isn't speaking to me."
"Rogue's as determined as the rest of us to get Jean's baby back. I would be shocked if she'd agreed to go." Bobby replied never taking his eyes from the monitors. "Don't see why she'd stop talking to you over it though. More than once Logan and Remy have tried to talk her into going to Genosha while they search for Sinister, and she still talks to them."
"I was trying to reason with her, so I pointed out that Gambit put us in this situation to begin with, so it makes no sense to me why she trusts him more than me."
"Gambit's her husband. Plus none of this is his fault. Seriously Kurt." Bobby said finally glancing away to give him a glare. " You sound like Scott over Emma. We can't trust her, she's obviously betrayed us. Why are you worried about her. Er don't know what Emma's up to but I now she would never betray me. Just like Remy would never betray Rogue."
"Emma's engaged to another man Bobby. You have to see she's over you now. From what I heard Shaw is in bed with Sinister too, so she is just as bad as Remy." Kurt said with a shake of his head. "How can you , either of you, put so much faith in someone who already proved they aren't worthy of it?"
"...Now I see why she isn't talking to you." Bobby said. " Some of us trust the ones we love to do the right thing. If you can't see this then I don't see this conversation going any further. You of all people Kurt should know appearances can be deceiving."
"There's a big difference in the way you loo and the things you do Bobby!"
"Yes there is. But can you honestly say that none of us have ever been deceived into thinking a bad person was on our side? That they weren't even bad? What about Rogue? Maybe she sees that Remy isn't responsible for what happened because she too was tricked into thining someone was out to help her that really only wanted to use her."
"That was different!"
"How?"
"Because...but.. Mystique is her mother, she'd didn't intend to hurt Rogue."
"She wanted to use Rogue to end the world. Same thing as hurting her, and not really any different than wanting to use Remy to end the Morlocs is it. Do you know why they understand each other? Because they both realized what they'd gotten into and they both got out. They don't judge each other for past mistakes. I for one am not going to judge either one of them for what another person did."
"But...He's bad for her! He's keeping her away from her family!" Kurt said.
"Didn't you hear me tell you he's tried to talk her into going. He isn't keeping her from you Kurt, she's doing that all on her own and if you keep pushing her she won't want to see you at all anymore."
"You- you just can't see it." Kurt said, disappointed that Bobby hadn't seen his side after all. "You're to busy trying to find a way to get a girl back that didn't even want you to see what's going on around here."
"That's enough Kurt." Logan said from behind them. "I know you're stressed, and I now you won't really mean half the stuff you're saying when you calm back down, but if you keep pushing people like this no one will be speaking to you by the time you leave. Before you get the smart idea of repeating yourself, remember two things. One, I already heard everything you said to them both, and two, I've done just as much shit-more actually- as Remy, and I'm standing right here on this side of the line, so let it go."
Kurt left after that, still not agreeing with them, but knowing that he wasn't going to get them on his side. He just wanted his sister safe. He just wanted to protect her, but no one saw what he did. He had been afraid for her since he saw her when they got her back, and now Jean was dead. He just didn't want his sister to be the next funeral he attended.
Erik arrived in the ball room at the same time as Kurt to announce that they would be departing in ten minutes. Kurt quicly searched the crowd for Rogue. He didn't want to leave her in the middle of a fight so he was going to appologize even if he believed everything he had said. Hopefully one day soon she would realize he'd been right, but until then he wanted his sister to be safe,happy, and in his life.
Bobby meanwhile was back to brooding. He had intended to tell Kurt that he suspected Charles knew what was going on with Emma before Kurt had gone off about her. Bobby had seen the footage to the hooded visitor. He recognized Emma's walk anywhere. He also knew that in her diamond form Logan couldn't smell her. He believed that she had come here for a meeting with Charles, but that Charles was keeping it quiet.
Bobby had had a lot of time to go over everything that had happened, and he had decided awhile ago the only thing that made sense to him was that Charles had sent her in on an undercover mission. Between her strange behavior the night she left, and her body language whenever Shaw was seen hugging her, Bobby guessed that Xavier had this all planned he just didn't have any proof, and he didn't know why all the secrecy. He was determined to find out what was really going on, even if it killed him, he needed to know the truth. Which was why as soon as his shift was over, he was getting on a train to Boston. He was going to track her down and demand answers.
A/N: Thank you everyone for your patience. Updates will continue to be slower, but not as slow as this one was, thanks to chaos in personal life at the moment. Expect the next update in about 10 days, than you.