Skies As Grey As Battleships
- Chapter 31: Gratitude -
"Do you remember me telling you about Cheren? The friend I asked you about for advice?" Touya didn't know if he'd actually mentioned Cheren's name when he'd asked N his opinion on him, so the clarification was probably necessary.
N nodded. "Yes, I remember." If he was confused by the abrupt change in topic, he didn't show it.
Touya knew that his panic might not be entirely justified, but he was still pretty nervous about broaching the topic. "He knows. That we're... dating." It felt weird to say it out loud - not in a bad way, just in the sense that he was extremely unused to saying it.
Touya waited for N's reaction. Instead of looking shocked, or scandalized, or anything even remotely offended, N just blinked, like this news was unexpected but not exactly earth-shattering. Which it really wasn't.
Touya had to admit that he had probably been a little pessimistic about the whole thing.
"You told him?" N asked. The question wasn't accusatory in the slightest; just curious. Given Touya's shyness, it wasn't exactly hard to figure out why N would be wondering about how Cheren acquired his knowledge.
"Um, not exactly." No longer worried about how N was going to react, Touya had since returned to being vaguely embarrassed that someone had found out so quickly. "He figured it out himself. I would've told him eventually, but I - I wasn't really ready." Touya suddenly realized that he hadn't asked how N felt about all of this. "It's okay that other people know, isn't it?"
"Touya," N said, their eyes meeting, "Of course it is." Extremely relieved but feeling a little self-conscious, Touya looked away from N for a moment. He reached for N's hand and clasped it gently in his own. N's skin felt cool when pressed to his - probably because Touya was embarrassed as hell at the moment and was therefore warmer than usual, but it could also be that N simply had a lower body temperature. Not that the reason particularly mattered at the moment.
Taking N's hand hadn't been a gesture that he'd really thought through, but he liked the contact and N seemed to have zero problems with it, and Touya hoped that it was obvious how grateful he was that N wasn't upset about someone else knowing about their relationship.
N smiled, but only for a second, as he seemed to remember something. "I will not be able to leave the building until the situation with the orbs is resolved." It was a little disappointing, but Touya couldn't really say that he was surprised. N didn't appear to leave the building much under normal circumstances, so to expect him to leave during a near crisis would be unreasonable.
"Will I still be able to see you?" He felt a little embarrassed about asking, but it was important to know just how busy N was going to be.
"Yes," N replied immediately. "I will be occupied more than usual," N backtracked, "but there isn't a reason why I would not have some free time." Touya was really glad that he'd still be able to spend time with N, but he felt bad that N wasn't going to have much free time, especially since it could be quite a while until the issue with the orbs was resolved.
"It's alright that I won't be able to leave the building?" N asked, and Touya was confused, because he didn't know why N was asking the question.
"Um, is there a reason why it wouldn't be?"
It was evidently N's turn to be confused. "You mentioned dating, earlier, and I was under the impression that this involved... going on dates, which would entail leaving this building."
Touya's eyes widened as he processed N's concerns and thought about how to respond.
He couldn't just dismiss it, because while the concern was unfounded it was obviously bothering N, which meant that it wasn't trivial and didn't deserve to be blown off. And the fact that N was worrying about this meant that he was worried about what Touya thought of him, which was something that Touya felt kind of terrible for feeling more than slightly happy about.
"N," Touya started slowly, still thinking about what he wanted to say, "We don't have to go anywhere. I'd - I'd like to go places with you, but it's fine if we don't. I just like spending time with you."
N looked - not surprised, Touya thought, but maybe something approaching a combination of stunned and extremely pleased - and like he wasn't sure what to say. But, slowly, he smiled.
Touya had chosen to stay an hour or so later than usual last night, earning him some teasing from Touko and a knowing look from Cheren, and causing him to miss dinner. Still, he was glad he'd stayed; he and N had ended up talking about random and kind of pointless topics, but he'd enjoyed it. Besides, given how busy N was inevitably going to be, it might be a while before they could sit down and just talk for a few solid hours.
Today was a day off, and for once Touya had taken advantage of this and slept in somewhat. A nearby clock on the wall read roughly half past nine, and for once Touya felt fairly well rested, despite sleeping on the couch. He shifted Oshawott, who was still fast asleep, onto a different cushion as he sat up.
Setting the blankets he'd been using aside for the moment, Touya got to his feet and walked towards the kitchen, still blinking away the sleep in his eyes. He was surprised to find Touko eating at the table with Tepig sitting complacently beside her; unless she woke up way later than usual, she should've eaten earlier.
She had out a bowl of cereal, and Touya knew that it was because anything else required too much effort. He was, however, perfectly willing to spend some time on food if it meant not having to eat cheap, sugary cereal, so he grabbed two pieces of bread.
It took him a second to realize why his search for the toaster wasn't yielding any results - while their house had a toaster, their apartment did not. Touya stared at the soft and entirely untoasted pieces of bread in his hands, blaming his memory lapse on a combination of force of habit and having just woken up.
Touko had by this point noticed that Touya was having issues with getting breakfast together. "You planning on doing anything with that bread?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
"... Yes," he replied, trying to figure out if there was a way to toast bread without a toaster. Having an epiphany, he started rooting around for a pan.
"You know," Touko began, and Touya could tell that her next comment had a high chance of being made at his expense, "You're up kind of late." Having successfully located a pan, he placed it on the stovetop and turned on the flame. "You've been waking up earlier than you usually do, so I guess you've gone back to wasting the day away."
Her tone was light and teasing, but he was nonetheless just the slightest bit defensive. "At least I'm up before Cheren." He speared a single piece of bread with a fork and held it as close to the pan was possible.
Touko looked like she was about to laugh. "Cheren woke up three hours ago."
"That can't be true." Touya had never known Cheren to wake up so early - willingly, that is, because strolling into school late on a regular basis was not generally a wise choice.
"Oh, but it is," Touko responded with mock seriousness, stopping for a second to eat more of her cereal. "I'm pretty sure he was half-dead, but he left to go see Bianca before she went off to work. Said that they had something to talk about."
Having successfully toasted the piece of bread he was holding, Touya switched it out for the other one. "Did he say what it was?" he asked, though he pretty much knew the answer already. Regardless, he thought that maybe Touko might have been able to guess why Cheren felt the need to talk to Bianca so early in the morning.
"No, he didn't," Touko replied, sounding like she was still a little annoyed that Cheren hadn't told her - which wasn't terribly reasonable, because it probably wasn't that important and she couldn't expect Cheren to explain his every action. "But I think it probably has to do with that anti-government stuff. Because, otherwise, they'd just talk about it here."
"That's probably it," Touya agreed. It was a sound theory, after all, because even though they both knew what Cheren and Bianca were up to, they didn't know any specifics, and Touya could understand Cheren not wanting to discuss plans in front of people who weren't involved.
Touya clicked off the stove, grabbed a knife and some butter from the fridge, and sat down at the kitchen table across from Touko. "Touya," Touko said seriously, her change in tone most likely signaling a change in topic, "I'm really glad that you're not involved in what Cheren and Bianca are doing."
"Why?" Touya blurted out before he could really think.
"Because I'd be worried about you," Touko replied almost immediately, her tone implying that this should have been pretty obvious.
"Oh," Touya replied, a little shocked - not by the fact that Touko felt that way, but because she'd brought it up almost completely out of the blue. Even though his response wasn't exactly eloquent, he knew that Touko would be able to understand that he was grateful that she cared enough to worry about him.
He wished that he could reassure her that he was never, ever going to be involved in anything remotely illegal, but he couldn't lie to her like that.
He focused intently on buttering his toast and tried to ignore how guilty he felt.
A/N: Evidently, the whole 'toast bread over a pan' thing does work, though I haven't tried it.
Just in case people forgot (because I think this was ~20 chapters ago), when Touya refers to asking N about Cheren, he's talking about when he asked N's opinion on whether he thought that Cheren might be involved in anti-government activity. And he's right in wondering if he mentioned Cheren by name, because he didn't actually do so.
The reason why Touko's eating at this hour is because it's her second meal of the day (she's just really hungry, I guess). This ended up not being mentioned in the story, so it's here in case anyone was curious.