The song used in this chapter is "Fool" by Lifehouse. If you can, listen to is while reading. The story title and inspiration for the very first chapter came from the song "Out of Reach" by Matthew Perryman Jones. The tone of the story itself however comes from this song. This story wouldn't have come to life without these two songs.

Seems my own arrogance has knocked me off my feet again
When you know I'm crawling to you as fast as I can
First teach me to walk and then I'll learn to dance for you like an
Honest clumsy clown
Tripping along the way

Loving Rachel Berry was maybe the bravest thing she had ever done. Letting herself love Rachel Berry was maybe the most courageous thing that Quinn Fabray had ever done. Then again, she never thought of herself as brave in the first place.

People kept telling her how brave it was to keep a baby at sixteen instead of getting an abortion. In reality she wasn't brave at all. Quite the opposite; she was too scared of what an abortion would do to her. She thought that it might shatter her beyond repair, might ruin her, might make her even worse of a person than she already was. Compared to that the prospect of being thrown out by her dad – yes , she knew it would happen even before Finn let the bomb drop; she had simply hoped she'd have a little more time left before the unavoidable goodbye – didn't seem as bad anymore. She was a coward more than anything else.

Months later, everyone told her that she was brave for giving away her baby, giving Beth her best chance. How selfless she was for thinking of Beth instead of herself. Instead she had wanted to keep her more than anything in the world. She had fought an inner war with herself, silently yelling at herself inside her head that no, no, she could not be good enough to be Beth's mother. She could never ever be a mother. She wasn't brave. She was absolutely terrified to ruin Beth just like Russell Fabray had ruined her. She was scared that she was just like her father, just as much of a monster, just as cold, just as bad of a parent.

When Shelby turned up at McKinley High, her mom kept telling her how very brave she was and how proud she was of her for changing back to her normal self and trying to get better just to be allowed to see Beth. But her mom didn't know she had never been planning to just see Beth. She didn't know that she had been willing to try anything to get her back, to fill the hole that was ripped into her heart when she gave her away just little more than a year before. Her mom didn't know that her daughter had been acting like a monster. Again, Quinn was scared, not brave. She was scared that she would never have anything perfect in her life again, that she'd never have anything to call her own and that she would never be able to ease the pain that she constantly felt, to soothe the ache that was constantly threatening to tear her apart. Today, with Rachel by her side, she knew that she had something perfect. Rachel wasn't perfect, but she was indeed perfect for her. And on top of that, she got to watch her daughter grow up, even if only from afar.

After her accident, people kept telling her how brave she was for not giving up, for fighting to walk again. They had no idea how very depressed she had been, how much pain she was willing to endure just to move her legs the tiniest inch again. They didn't know that not walking again wasn't an option for her. She was so scared of never walking again that she pushed herself farther and farther until she could feel something, anything. She was terrified and she knew that she wouldn't have been able to move on if the doctors had told her that there was no hope.

Quinn Fabray didn't think of herself as brave at all. Until now. Until this very moment. Until she slowly got used to walking through the streets of New York City with Rachel Berry, the woman she loved, walking next to her, their hands intertwined and smiles gracing their faces.

The blonde felt brave now because for once in her life she didn't care what people thought. She only cared what Rachel thought, only cared what she felt when they were together. For once she didn't care who Russell Fabray was or even who she herself was or wanted to be.

Right now, she simply let herself be. She let herself love.

'Cause I'm reaching for you
But my arms aren't long enough
And I'm running to you
If I could go a little faster
And I'm crying to you
But I can't hear my own voice
And I am waiting for you
And trying not to fall asleep now

Giving birth to Beth was maybe the most beautiful thing she had ever experienced in her life. Even though the room was filled with screams and curses and tears and sweat and pain, what was happening was pure beauty. Quinn had never felt worth as much as she did right then and there, getting to hold the beautiful little girl in her arms after going through the most excruciating pain she had ever felt up until that point. It was bittersweet however, because at the same time, Quinn had never felt as worthless as she did when she let them take her out of her arms.

People always told her she was beautiful or even graceful. She could still hear Jesse call her the Ghost of Grace Kelly and she knew Kurt quite often referred to her as Grace Kelly as well. Rachel had told her, insisting that he meant it as a compliment. She knew that was true. But Quinn didn't think anything about her was beautiful.

People would probably laugh at her when she'd tell them how little she cared about beauty on the outside because of course, an anorexic – former anorexic, as she preferred to call herself – must think that looks are the most important thing. But it was never about that. Throughout her childhood the most important thing for her was making her dad love her. Nothing was more important than that. When people started calling her fatty once she gained weight during elementary school, she didn't care one bit because her dad still called her princess.

Once she came to middle school however, the cuteness factor seemed to have worn off because her dad cared less and less with every day and he started glaring at her when she wanted a second helping during dinner. She told herself she didn't care, told herself that she wasn't hurt by him constantly putting Fran first and even going as far as calling her his favorite daughter right in front of Quinn.

When the bullying got worse, she made a decision. She needed it gone. It wasn't her need for "beauty" that drove her. It was her need of acceptance, both from her peers and from her dad. The nose job and contacts were her prize from her dad when she had become model thin at the end of summer, as well as a new school.

Quinn didn't think she was beautiful. She never thought that. She didn't feel beautiful. The first time she had ever felt beautiful was when she was alone with Rachel in the bathroom at their junior prom.

"Look, you have nothing to be scared of. You're a very pretty girl, Quinn. The prettiest girl I've met, Quinn but you're a lot more than that."

It wasn't Rachel calling her pretty that made her feel beautiful. It was her seeing beyond that. It was her thinking that she was more than just a pretty face after all.

'Cause I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
Tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you

"Honey, you need to calm down. It's going to be just fine," the brunette told her again. Nervous didn't even begin to express how she was feeling right now. It was like her interview at Yale, just worse. Back then, she already knew they wanted her there. She already knew she had left an impression. Right now, all she felt was insecurity.

She was clinging to Rachel's hand as if it was the only thing keeping her sane right now. Maybe it was?

"How do you know that?"

"What are you so scared of, Quinn?"

"What if she doesn't want Beth to know who I am? What if she doesn't want me to be in Beth's life anymore? She wants to talk to me about Beth. What does that even mean? What if she wants Beth to know who I am? What if I'm not ready for this? I'm not really the most stable person, Rachel."

"Baby, where is this coming from?"

"Rachel, I gave her away for a reason. I gave her away because I knew I wasn't good enough for her. And nothing has changed. If anything, I'm worse now than I was back then."

"That's ridiculous, baby, and you know that. How can you even think that? You've come so far Quinn!"

"Have I? Really, Rachel?" She stared at her, stopping in front of the coffee shop, not ready to go inside yet. "There's a reason for my countless doctor's appointments. I'm depressed, I have an eating disorder and I still have physical problems from my accident. I'm broken, Rachel!"

"You getting help doesn't make you worse, it makes you better than you were back then! I love you, Quinn and quite frankly, I wouldn't be with you if I didn't think you were amazing. Rachel Berry doesn't take second best, you know?"

The blonde chuckled, locking her hazel eyes on Rachel's chocolate brown ones. She leaned forward and pecked the brunette's lips, smiling at her lovingly. "You're perfect, you know that?"

"Of course, you're a very lucky girl, Quinn Fabray!"

"I really am, yes," the blonde said, connecting their lips one more time, trying to get as much reassurance and strength from it as possible before she let Rachel drag her into the coffee shop and lead her to the table occupied by Shelby and Beth.

What are you thinking as you look down on me are you
Frustrated with my inconsistency
Or intrigued that I can find the will to get back up or
Maybe all of this is simply amusing

"Hey," Shelby said happily once they came close to their table, smiling at them widely. Rachel couldn't quite figure out if she was happy to see her or Quinn. She simply tried to tell herself that it didn't matter but in the end, it still did.

She got half of her answer when her birth mother stepped towards her and engulfed her in a warm hug before smiling at Quinn who was already busy with her smaller version.

It was both weird and wonderful watching those two interact. Sure, Beth had no idea who Quinn actually was, but it's like they had some sort of connection. She saw Beth touching the blonde's face in fascination as if she could see the similarity, as if she could see herself in the former cheerleader.

"Beth really likes her," Shelby said absentmindedly.

"How could she not?"

"It looks good on you," she told her with a huge grin.

"What looks good on me?"

"Love," was her simple answer.

Rachel gave her a small smile in return before heading off to order coffee for herself and Quinn. Taking a big breath, she turned around and walked back, trying to ignore how absolutely absurd this meeting was. She was here to meet her birthmother and her girlfriend's daughter to discuss future relationship statuses. If she was Beth's sister – Shelby's words, not hers – then what did that make Quinn?

"So Rachel, how was your audition? Did my advice help you find the perfect song?"

"Erm –"

"What audition?"

"The Funny Girl audition, of course. Did you audition for other plays as well, Rachel?" Shelby seemed confused, her brow a little furrowed.

"You auditioned for Funny Girl and didn't tell me?" Quinn didn't seem angry, she hadn't even raised her voice. She seemed…disappointed, left out.

Rachel heard a quiet "oh" from the older brunette, obviously realizing what was going on.

"Quinn, I was just scared okay. I probably won't get the role anyway and I thought it would be best not to make a big deal out of it. Shelby is the only one who knows."

At the raised eyebrow Rachel sighed. This woman will be the death of her. How come she couldn't lie to her? "Okay, Kurt and my dads know as well," she said dejectedly.

"I see," was the only thing the blonde replied. She seemed defeated and it made Rachel want to cry because she didn't even understand herself why she couldn't tell Quinn. She had tried to several times but it just wouldn't come out.

Noticing the tension, Shelby spoke up again. "So what did you sing?"

"Well, you told me to do something personal, something that touches me and gives me the possibility to make the producers feel what I feel."

"I know what I told you, Rachel. Just say it already."

The brunette looked at the former cheerleader sitting next to her, the little blonde sitting in her lap and her head hung a little low but still very obviously listening.

"I sang 'As long as you're mine' from Wicked," she told Shelby while still looking at Quinn, waiting for a reaction. A sharp intake of breath told her that she was indeed listening.

"Great choice!"

"But that's a duet, Rachel!" That certainly was not the reaction she had hoped for.

"Trust me, it was the perfect song," she told her girlfriend. "Quinn, I was just scared you'd want to come along. I would have been even more nervous. I would have told you once I knew more. They haven't called yet."

"So that's where you were yesterday," she sighed out. "The good and the bad, Rachel. You want all of me, right? Well, it goes both ways. We can talk about this another time though."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I just wish I had known." Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze before turning towards Shelby. "So, what is it that you wanted to talk about, Shelby?"

"Rachel?"

The brunette nodded and took Beth from Quinn's lap, pecking her anxious girlfriend's lips quickly before taking the little blonde to the ice cream parlor across the street as Shelby had asked her to the day before.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Shelby's heart ached seeing Quinn so insecure. She didn't waste a second to make them vanish into thin air. "Quite the opposite, Quinn. I think you're very good for Beth. She needs more than one adult to look up to. And I think she's good for you as well."

"Then what did you want to talk about?"

"At some point I'll have to tell her who you are but I'm alone and I can't make a decision like that on my own. I also think that you should be part of this decision."

"Oh."

"Do you not want her to know?"

"I don't know. I mean, it's not like I see her often. I don't want to confuse her or make her think I don't care enough to see her more often."

"Alright, look, I talked to Rachel last week and told her that from March on I might be living in New York. I haven't told her yet, but I got the job. I will start a Broadway Daycare Business in March and therefore move here at the end of February."

"Wow," the stunned blonde said, not sure how to process the information yet.

"I want you and Beth to have a relationship and at some point I want her to know who you are, if that's okay with you. I don't really know people here, so I could use a babysitter from time to time," she told the blonde with a kind smile.

"When do you want to tell her?" Quinn seemed nervous and the older brunette wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad kind of nervous.

"Do you not want me to tell her? This isn't just my decision to make Quinn, that's why I wanted to talk to you."

"What if she thinks I didn't love her? What if she thinks I was selfish to give her away?"

"I don't want to wait too long to tell her, exactly to avoid that. If she is still young, she might be able to understand, you know? Also, I don't want her to think we're lying to her."

"It sounds like you're all but ready to tell her." Some of the fear seemed to have faded but Quinn still seemed uncomfortable.

"She's not even four yet, I don't think she'll understand. I want to tell her about Rachel soon, after talking to Rachel of course. I don't think she'll get the whole two mother's thing yet though, so I thought we could wait another year or even two if that's what you want. Might also help her understand why her sister and her birthmother are kissing," she added with a wink.

'Cause I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
Tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you

"So, what do you think?"

"About telling Beth?" Rachel asked her as they walked through the streets lazily.

"About Beth," the blonde said nervously.

"Why are you asking this, Quinn?"

"Well, she's important to me, she's – for lack of a better word – my daughter. Not really, but still kind of. You're the woman I love, so you're opinion matters to me."

"She is your daughter, Quinn, just like I will always be Shelby's daughter as well as my dads'. And I think you have a lovely daughter, baby. She luckily got your looks and not Noah's," Rachel said with a smile on her face.

The blonde was about to answer when Rachel's cell went off.

"Rachel Berry speaking?"

Quinn watched the brunette curiously as the diva got quiet. She grew worried when Rachel didn't seem to take part in the conversation, something so very unlike the Rachel she had known for years.

"Thank you," the brunette said quietly. "I'll be there."

When she hung up, Quinn took her hand in hers. "What is it, Rach?"

"Those were the producers. I got a callback for Fanny," Rachel said while staring at her girlfriend unbelievingly.

"Oh my God, Rachel. That's amazing."

"I got a callback."

"Yes you did, Rachel. You did it! I'm so proud of you."

"I can't believe it. I got a callback for Funny Girl."

"Of course you did. You're amazing, Rachel. You're exceptional."

Realizing that Rachel wasn't getting out of her stupor anytime soon, she embraced her and whirled her around, a proud smile printed on her face. "My girlfriend will play Fanny Brice," she announced loudly as she sat her down again, wincing only slightly at the stinging in her back.

"Quinn you don't know that, yet. I only –"

The former head cheerleader cut her off with her lips, kissing her lovingly. "My girlfriend will play Fanny Brice!"

'Cause I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
Tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you

Alright everyone, officially speaking, this IS the last chapter. BUT, as requested, there will be an epilogue and it'll be up in a few days. At this point, I already want to thank EVERY SINGLE reader, follower, reviewer and the people that favorited the story. It means the world to me! It would also mean a lot if you could leave a comment and tell me what you thought of the last chapter.

On another note, I started a new story already last week. It's not Faberry, though. It's a Quinntana fic. If you want to check it out, you can find it on my profile. It's called "High Enough"!

Thank you so much for everything!